When you’re past the age of, say, 25, age differences don’t really matter anymore. You’re not entirely done maturing/growing yet but the changes are more subtle and close enough.
At 13 and 16 though…They’re in very different stages of development.
4 Likes
Kind if odd a 16yr old would want a 13yr old boyfriend. Maturity changes alot between those 2 ages. Personally I would not like it but if you do allow them to date make sure it’s supervised.
9 Likes
tell him 13 is too young to date .Tell him he can date at 16 with rules in place. So for now they can be friends
5 Likes
In my situation, I would just explain it’s okay to be friends, but as far as dating explain to them that y’all are still to young, let’s see in a couple years than we will have the talk. You’re the adult I would be upfront with my kids if that ever happened.
2 Likes
It’s different when you’re in your 20s and upwards. If she was say 23 and him 20 it would be OK but not at this age.
2 Likes
13 year old should not be dating at all
5 Likes
No dating till 16 
1 Like
13 is still quite young… let the kids grow up first!
I say no …But they will sneak she needs to be on birth control asap because they will sneak and do it anyways…Then you want have to worry about babies …Right now it’s just PUPPY LOVE…OR IN Heat RIGHT NOW …
2 Likes
Not a good idea in my opinion
Are you sure that they aren’t having sex already? If you haven’t had the sex talk with him, maybe it’s time. Also when he uses you and your husband as an example, remind him that y’all were GROWN. Is your friend’s daughter mentally delayed? That’s the only way I can see an almost 16 year old messing with a barely 13 year old. Like he LITERALLY just became a teen.
Rule for my kids, no dating til ur 16
No because when she is 18 and he will be 15, most states that is still statuatory rape. My friends daughter started dating at 13, boyfriend was 13 too, less than a year later she had a baby. So no. Would you let it happen if your son was a girl and 13 and the girl was a boy and 16…so why is it ok in reverse?
When my kids were minors house rule was no dating until you’re 16 and then once they turned 16 they were not allowed to date anyone who wasn’t in high school , I personally had to have the in high school rule because one of my kids wanted to date someone who was 19 running the streets an not in school, so we added this rule across the board for all of them.
6 Likes
All these people saying no dating till they’re 16, that’s why I was 13 and sneaking out with every guy that looked my way. It was intentionally to rebel. Can you tell them not to? Absolutely. Does that mean they’re going to listen? Probably not. The best thing you can hope for is them to be open and honest and to be real it probably won’t last very long with him being that young.
10 Likes
In these days kids are more likely to sneak around and do it , but if the mom is your friend I would worry about interfering with the friendship idk maybe I’m just weird like that but if she broke your son’s heart or vise versa it could cause tension between y’all.
5 10 15 years didn’t matter when both over the age of consent …. Think about that
1 Like
Heading for trouble, not a good plan At All.
13 is probably too young to date anyone. What does dating even look like in middle school? Nobody has an income to go out on dates or a license to drive. Just hanging out at eachother’s houses? Sure, as long as there are parents home.
5 Likes
13 is too young to date. 16 is the rule for most parents.
1 Like
Two grown people being 10 years apart is a lot different than two children being any amount of years apart. A child’s brain and development drastically changes each year and she is most likely much more emotionally and physically mature than he is. I would say no.
1 Like
No. A high school student should not be dating anyone in middle school…
3 Likes
What?
No way. Too young.
Sounds like they need some new hobbies.
Time to join a sports team!
1 Like
I would explain the developmental differences of those ages. Also the older one could land themselves in some legal trouble
Let them group date, movies, dinners, park games, etc. Encourage this. Tell them to take it slow. Also, Encourage this. You don’t want a Romeo & Juliet thing.
5 Likes
Girls mature faster than boys, so this is definitely not a good mix
1 Like
So I get the concern. If they were both 18 plus they could have a 20 year gap and there wouldn’t be an issue. It’s the fact that they are still minors and there are too many grey areas. For the time being I would keep them just as platonic friends and have your kids focus on his study and hobbies .
Not at all 13 is still very young …
No dating …
Legally that can be lotts of trouble
for u as a parent…
1 Like
at that age even though its “only” 3 years its a BIG 3 year age gap, if it was me it would be a no until they are a bit older and have been through the same things school vice/friend vice LIFE vice
2 Likes
My husband is 6 years older than me. I was 13 he was 17 when we met. Lost contact for some time. Then married at 22 28 and have 4 kids. I think it’s up to you and the other mom. If y’all feel it’s not a good idea right now then I would say wait. My daughter can’t date til I am dead so 
1 Like
I think that your adult age gaps don’t compare the same way to the age gaps in minors.
(And yes, I know that individuals mature and grow at different rates. That’s kind of the point…)
Another thing to consider is if all parents are on the same page/in agreement. Because this could potentially, (more than likely will), affect your friendship.
But if parents decide against it, you must also expect the kids to “date” anyway, just secretly.
Maybe they are just attracted to one another (appearance wise or hanging out), but not actually compatible (same interests) to actually be boyfriend and girlfriend. They may come to realize the negatives their age difference brings on their own…?
I give them some credit if they came to you parents to discuss their having feelings and wanting to date one another.
3 Likes
They are kids your not gonna stop them if they really want to
1 Like
21 & 24, maybe buuuut 13. That’s a huge no
Children do not need to date. There’s no good reason for kids to have a dating relationship.
3 Likes
i would let them. cause if u say no. theyll find a way anyway
educate them on the important stuff if u feel it is necessary
5 Likes
Nope. Adolescent age different are worlds different than adult age gaps. Not to mention it becomes illegal at some point… I’m not much for controlling situations like that… but 2.5ish years is a big gap for teens.
2 Likes
You can’t compare yourself in this situation because there is no comparison. Sure maybe if you wanted to compare yourself to another adult couple or friends but don’t base your very adult choices ( & nothing wrong with them whatsoever) on those of children. 13 is too young .
3 Likes
I’m gonna go with a different view…if you tell him no now even though you have legit concerns and reasons, it will cause him to then lie. People can’t help who they like or fall in love with. No one can control it. But you can control the environment they date in. Like someone said above, group dates, dates at your home, allow her to come with when you go out to eat. Take this as an opportunity that your son opened up to you about it and show him you value his feelings. But make sure you set boundaries and consequence’s for when he breaks them. It shows you respect him and in turn can strengthen your relationship.
14 Likes
As teenagers, there hormones are rapidly changing along with their brain development. That’s the difference between their 3 year gap and your 10 year gap. I feel like if it were a 16 year old boy and 13 year old girl this wouldn’t even be a conversation at all. It’d just be a hard no.
4 Likes
Honestly I’d say no because she’s almost 16 so she’s nearly 3 years older which doesn’t sound like much but in some aspects it is. In my opinion the major problem here would be she’s gonna be more mature and most likely at 16 or 17 want to be sexually active if we’re gonna be honest here a 13 or 14 year old for sure isn’t ready for that kind of relationship and agreeing to it is basically saying it’s okay. But like other people said if you say no they might still sneak around and try anyways. So this is gonna be a difficult decision good luck!
3 Likes
Your son is 13. 13 year olds are way to young to be dating. You are asking for trouble.
2 Likes
I mean let’s be honest. Either let them be open to you. Or they’ll probably end up behind your back. I don’t mean that in a rude way but we were all young once.
Let them date with curfews and stick to them
The more you protest, the more they will… Let them be.
3 Likes
On the legal side of things…you should check first with your state code in regards to “those kind of charges”. I’m certain no one wants to put a child threw all that mess. And on a side note…might give you some grounds and incentive for them to wait.
1 Like
One part of me says let them, the other half of me knows that if the wrong people find out they are dating with their age difference and call cps on you it could be an issue. (Family member went thorough this). It’s a hard choice but you have to do what you feel is best overall
1 Like
I mean honestly you can make it as difficult as possible for them to “date” if you want to but they will find a way. You can say nope and ground them but at the end of the day they just will sneak around your back and do it. In my opinon the best thing you can do is let them date and tell them what the consequences will be if they attempt to have anything even remotely sexual going. Considering his age, it will end pretty shortly. The more you attempt to control them dating, the more they are going to rebel. If everyone is open and communicating; I don’t see the problem.
7 Likes
They’ll do it anyway so I would go with it with caution. The more you show you disagree, the more they’ll do it behind your back. Try to play cool so he can come to you for advice and your friend should do the same with her daughter. Try to keep a really close eye on them. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be but trust your son. Trust you as a parent and guide them with love and respect. It’s important to set clear boundaries.
13 year olds have no need to date, period. If they date at 13, what do they do at 15 or 16? JS
6 Likes
I would say let them. My daughter and her boyfriend wanted to date and although they are the same age- dating for them is hanging out at our house or his house. Parents are always home and they hang in the living room watching movies. It’s all pretty innocent and sweet. And truly, with that age difference it will probably fizzle out anyway. If you disallow it, they will passionately want to and it will seem illicit and romantic. If you let them they will probably realize sooner than later that they are different, maturity wise.
It’s really up to maturity and you the parents decision. If your not ok with it then tell them that and if they like each other enough they will find each other when the time is right. If you think they are gonna do it anyways and hide it then keep close tabs on them idk really is a case by case situation. 16 Is alot different than 13 mindset wise …y’all know your kids so I wouldn’t leave it up to strangers to decide
How can you ‘let’ anyone date ? You are not going to stop it. It will get worse of you try to close them away from each other. My parents done it. I hated them for it. They need to understand legal consent ect understand being safe understand about waiting maybe this “relationship” will be simple untill they are older you just don’t know but as a parent I would like to be there for my child not control them
3 Likes
Extremely weird and unacceptable.
1 Like
Well when she’s 18 and dating a minor she can get into trouble and will most likely be a Sex offender. And have to register for life as one.
Allow them both to come to family gatherings, dinner, etc. As long as it isn’t private in a bedroom, I’d be all for it. Helps you to get t know her too! If they both respect your boundaries, maybe take them to movies and pick them up etc. it’s easier if you set boundaries and allow it than prevent it when you forbid it and they do it behind your back. Promote transparency with your kids… it’s a great beginning to teenage things and they’ll come to you more to talk and for advice etc
4 Likes
That’s a big gap at that age. I’d be uncomfortable with it but I have only girls. I think I’d feel the same about it. I don’t believe you should make them stop being friends. If she likes him she can wait just like a boy would have to do.
1 Like
I’d just say, he’s too young. I’d still allow them to hang out. But becoming BF and GF should take time.
13 is young for a relationship
When I was 12 my girlfriend was 16…never used condoms. I’m suprised she didn’t get pregnant. Be careful
1 Like
Let them live. It can be a huge difference at that age, but maturity always plays a part. I don’t see this as that serious of a age difference. My opinion only.
2 Likes
Do you not trust your friend’s family or something?
Personally think 13 is a bit young but the age gap isn’t a big deal. But only you know how to gauge your child
If they were both in high school it might be different. I’m 4 years older than my husband and it works for us.
I have a 13 year old son and I know he’s not mature enough for a 16 year old gf so I say no just stay friends.
My son did n nothing happened and the relationship fizzed out
That’s a no for me too. But I would say being friends is ok, they just have to wait till he is a bit older for dating.
My son is 14 and he’s dating a 16 year old girl but he will be 15 next month . I’d Let them date just keep an eye out on them bedroom doors always open etc
1 Like
You are not going to stop it; however, you can invite him over and allow her to visit him with parents around. Talk to them and set the ground rules of no going into bedrooms with door closed, etc.
4 Likes
No totally different points in their life. One is in middle school one is driving
I mean if you’re still willing to continue to let them be JUST friends then there’s not much of a difference there. I mean if they’re gonna be allowed to be friends they’re probably gonna be bf and gf behind yalls backs anyways. At that age kids can be rebellious as hell. But I will say maturity plays a big part in this as well. And at that age they probably won’t be dating forever anyways. Let them live and show some trust in them. They’re young… they’ll probably both be liking someone else in a few weeks/months anyways 
7 Likes
That age difference at their age is kind of a bigger deal then in adults. I would say no sorry. I think it’s one thing if they were boyfriend and girlfriend and they were the same age but a 13 year old with a 16 year old girlfriend or boyfriend doesn’t matter I think that’s kind of inappropriate but that’s me. If you are ok with it and hee parents are ok with it then that’s all that should matter. Just be careful when she reaches 18 and he is still under age.
1 Like
You do know “boyfriend and girlfriend” are just labels right?
Changing their relationship from friends to dating doesn’t give them free range for sex or anything else
You can’t really stop them from calling each other those labels
My son is 15 year old dating a 13 year almost 14 year old but they have constant adult supervision and both are in high school because of our school system is set up. Seems to be working ok for them and us as parents thus far.
I mean honestly it’s alot worse for a 16 yr old girl to be with a 18 or 19 yr old boy.
3 Likes
I would look up the laws in your state. Here its not legal.
If that was a sixteen year old boy with a thirteen year old girl many many individuals and parents would say hell no. I think it’s a hell no but everyone views it differently.
6 Likes
The more you protest, the more they’re going to want to do it. I’d say, let them try it out, but they can only hang out with supervision. They’ll probably figure out on their own that the age difference does matter because their maturity levels are very different. Hopefully they’re too young to want to make it a sexual relationship, but that’s why I say to make sure they’re supervised. Just my opinion
1 Like
Nope, you are of legal age that it does not matter. He is underage and there is no exception.
1 Like
No. That’s a big hormonal milestone age gap.
2 Likes
Good luck but kids find a way
1 Like
My mom was 16 and my dad was 13 when they got together. It’s really up to you and how you feel about it really.
1 Like
They’re the same age range. I don’t see an issue
Also what grades are they in? If he’s in 8th grade and she’s a sophomore and they are going to be in Highschool together than it’s going to happen next year anyways?
2 Likes
Go on a date with them
I feel it’s too young
2 Likes
Well, I got pregnant at 14, almost 15, so it’s a hard no for me. Hormones are raging on both sides, she will be driving soon, just to much temptation at to young an age.
7 Likes
My personal opinion, going off of personal experiences as a teen, and as the mother of a teen. If you tell her no… she’ll just sneak. If you allow it, with conditions, you’ll usually always know what they’re up to. And if she ends up in a bad position, she won’t be too afraid to call you for help because she didn’t have to sneak
6 Likes
Not at all, if they engage in intercourse that could be statutory rape depending on your state. Sit them both down and explain that to them. They need to wait until they both can legally consent and not go to jail. Also don’t let them just run loose either.
No 13 yr old, boy or girl, should be dating. They are still adolesents, young teens, and need to prioritize education and athletics to get ready for college. They need to dream big and dating at 13 isnt going to let the dream happen. Just because its easy on you parents doesnt mean you are being good parents in looking ahead to their future. Stop being more friend than parent. Your kids future are at stake.
6 Likes
You can’t and shouldn’t go and try and make a life decision like this for your child. It will bring on rebellion and secrecy. Come at this from a point of view of facts. What is the age of consent in your state. Repercussions which could be life long if any laws are broken . Yes you would be a hypocrite saying just no. So explain how you and your spouse were not at an age where there could be legal concerns. They won’t stop seeing each other just because you don’t like it but open communication can slow the relationship down as he will have a space of trust with you and hear your guidance if you domt approach this with a non negotiable no.
2 Likes
I lost my v at 13 
wasnt even a boyfriend but my crush since kindergarten (big mistake) but I honestly wish I would have waited till the LOML cuz I was his first after multiple (h#&$) but I couldn’t imagine a better experience… 
3 Likes
Sorry if that’s no help 
Both are to young to date. She’s not even 16 yet & he’s 13. No way I would let a 13 year old boy date. I raised two sons & they weren’t allowed a g/f at that age.
5 Likes
What exactly is the problem with them dating your acting like she is 18 and he is child I see nothing wrong with it even if she was 16
4 Likes
Honestly I wouldn’t allow it in my home. 24 month age difference max
2 Likes
My first daughter will be 13 near Halloween, and I could not imagine letting her date someone, especially a few years older than her. I made a lot of mistakes when I was younger, and I don’t want her to go through those mistakes. 13 is too young. Idgaf if someone disagrees with me.
2 Likes
Is this a real question?
It’s not about the age difference for me it’s the maturity of both of them. 16 is the one on one dating age in my house they can drive themselves and they are overall more emotionally mature. Group dates (not exclusive) 14/15
3 Likes
Honestly, it would depend on their maturity to me. I always dated older guys, even when I was younger, but I was more mature for my age too.
1 Like
No- no dating age 13- and most kids 15-16 are grouping — not dating. There is plenty of time. Easiest rule is no dating- they can be friends— but the marriage excuse is ridiculous. They are still kids!
4 Likes
Don’t be a hypocrite. You are 10 years younger than your husband.
3 Likes