Thoughts on a four year old who is still in diapers and tells parents when she went potty in her diaper and mom won’t take the time to sit with her on the toilet ? Lazy ? Or the child is to blame ? And what is the age that is too “old” for a diaper ? Thoughts this is a topic that a lot of my friends talk about my sister in laws daughter and I really honestly don’t know I have a newborn so I also want to know as well a good age to start teaching
TIA
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Unless child has disability That is just laziness on the mothers part! believe potty training should start around 2 years old.
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When they tell u it’s time to start potty training
Lazy parenting! Around 2 is when most start
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Yeah that’s way too old to be in diapers definitely mother’s fault
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My niece was going to the bathroom by herself at 4
That’s a lazy parent
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My daughter is 4 and in pull Ups 
. We had her sister in September so We thought it was back progression turns out she does absolutely great at school since the month her sister was born. But when she comes home I ask her every 15-30 mins if she has to go pee I even remind her that she has to and I swear if she doesn’t think she will get a reward she won’t. It’s a constant struggle. Eta: I do feel like everyone thinks we are lazy because she isn’t potty trained yet
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Not starting out well for this poor baby.
Need to start at 2 or 2.5 so by 3 they are trained there may be set backs at first. Look up different methods we did combo 3 days to training, reward stickers (Amazon sells the dr size in multi packs) timer to start every 15 mins and increase time as you go on.
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I think it all varies. Nobody needs to be called lazy and its really none of your business. If you only have 1 gender of children then I dont really think you have a say so. I have boys and a girl and theyre VERY diffirent.
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4 years is way too old my son struggled and still was entirely potty trained by 3 maybe shortly before 3 with a few pee accidents overnight (which is common in beginning I’ve heard from friends who are parents). Like said above unless child is delayed/disabled it’s on the parent. It’s not a child’s fault they must be taught by an adult how to go on toilet.
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Kids will let you know when they’re ready. My niece was 4 and in diapers (we tried to potty train tho.) and then just randomly wanted to use the potty. I train my daughter now (2) but they usually let you know when it’s time.
It could be worth asking the parents if they need some books on toilet training? My daughter was a late toileter, and it was because I wasn’t sure where or how to start, she now goes to the toilet fine.
My daughter didn’t get potty trained until after she was 3 yrs old. I let her mostly take lead on when it was time, but even I thought that was on the later side. & she wasn’t telling me when she went in her diaper at that time when she transitioned so well. So I feel like if the child is telling their parent when they have, that’s a definite sign of being ready!
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I started my kids just before they turned 2, so they were trained by the time they turned 2.
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Very lazy parenting. My baby girl is 2 n half and will tell me that she has to go (sometimes) but still wont poop in the potty
Its different with each child. I have 7 kids. My 2nd took until almost 5 and still has accidents at night (shes 13). She was also 3 months preemie, which plays a part. My oldest was potty trained at 1. My 3rd, 4th and 5th were potty trained at 2. My 6th is 4 and still in pull ups, along with 3 year old, but the 3 year old will tell you more often that he has to go than the 4 year old will.
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You can start as early as 18 months, but most children start at 2 and most daycares expect them to be fully trained by 4. Girls are easier. If she had a boy, I could understand maybe some difficulties with the training. My son was extremely difficult, but done at age 3
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**that’s also suuuuuper late for a girl. I’ve heard (I have a boy and another on the way) that girls are far quicker with potty training. I know female children potty trained before 2.
My nephew wasn’t until 4. He just had no interest.they weren’t lazy parents. All kids are different some catch on quicker than others.
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Instead of asking on Facebook how about approach them and ask how the progress is going?
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Unless the child has medical issues it’s lazy parenting. Should of been out of diapers no later than 3 years imo
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My daughter was out of diapers by age 2, I know kids learn at their own pace. I look my daughter to the bathroom we very 2 hours or whenever I went. I also did the reward system… I know some people frown upon that but Bethany knew each time she went potty in a toilet or her training seat she got a little prize. If the mother isn’t taking her to try and encourage her, that’s just laziness.
In this situation it is laziness. But each kid is different. I started potty training my daughter at 2 and got nowhere for 2 years and as soon as she turned 4 she decided she didnt want a diaper anymore and stopped that day. My son was potty trained in 3 days at age 3. So each kid is different but if they are telling you then you need to help.
My son was 3 when he was fully potty trained. I started at 2 and he took the break up (me and sperm donor split up) hard cause his dad abandoned us so everything was on me for a year now my son is 4 and potty trained.
Both my girls were full trained by three, I think four is a bit old, you don’t normally see kids at kindy with nappies on
My son and daughter didn’t do it fully until 4, I tried everyone then one day it clicked. They’ll do it when they’re ready
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My daughter was 18 months old
You do you and what works and feels right for your situation. Let them do them and try not to judge a situation you aren’t in or participate in blameshame gossip. Meet another mother’s struggles with compassion, understanding, and kindness.
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My kids were trained by 1year of age, I had 4 children
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It depends, does the child have autism or has she gone threw a traumatic situation?
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That’s just plain lazy parenting in my opinion
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People who say it’s lazy are ridiculous. Some kids aren’t ready till older ages. You can’t force a child to use the toilet. My 2 year old isn’t potty trained and I’m not forcing him. Im waiting till he is ready. He does have access to the big potty with a stool and a potty training toilet.
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Is she a full time mom? Does her husband /the father help her at all. I don’t think laziness is a word that should be thrown around until all things are shed light on. I’m a full time mom, and I have one child, a little boy, and he just turned 4. It is impossible to keep him on a routine. When you try to sit him on the potty, he literally sits and cries. I think fear of the “big” potty is a factor in some situations. I am trying my very best, maybe she is too. Especially if your child stays somewhere, while you’re at work and it’s not being enforced. It is hard. Very hard trying to raise a child and work to support your baby. I think that before folks get judgey, you need to consider not all of us at stay at home moms.
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Its the parents being lazy how crazy ahould not be in diapers!!
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Ive had my 3 year old in pull ups since 2. She is 3 and a half now and in between pulls ups and training panties
Ummmm ITS ON THE CHILD…MY 4 YEAR OLD SON IS AFRAID OF THE TOILET…IVE TRIED BRIBES, BOOKS, VIDEOS, A PORTABLE POTTY CHAIR, A POTTY INSERT ON THE REGULAR TOILET ECT!!! CALL ME FUCKING LAZY…YOU ARE JUDGEMENTAL!!!
Some children are fast and easy learners, and others take longer and will let you know when they’re ready for the real deal. From what you’ve said, that’s laziness on mom’s part if she hasn’t even tried to begin the potty training. My youngest son will be 4 in July and he’s not completely ready for it yet but he’s already been showing great progress. Thankfully, it’s almost Summer which will make it a little easier.
4 is too old. My son potty trained at 2. If the kid can tell you when they need to go potty/or if they did then they are ready to be potty trained. Not taking them to the bathroom and not even attempting by 4 is lazy.
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It truly depends on the child if and when they are ready I had 7 singletons potty trained at 2 and my 2 and 3 year old wont even get near a toilet without throwing the worse fits ever. So I chalk it up to they arent ready. I mean just cause she tells you she pees or poops doesn’t mean she will get on the big girl potty.with 11 kids I can honestly tell you it depends on the child and the parent and the connection of routine and if the child is stubborn lol.
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My oldest wasn’t potty trained until 4 and a half. My 3 and a half year old is almost fully potty trained now. Both boys. Kids are all different. I think it sounds like the parent needs to work with their child, it sounds like they might be ready…but my oldest literally was so stubborn, he just wouldn’t go on the toilet until it was a few months before school started. Each kid is different. Theres no right or wrong time to potty train, you just need to pay attention to your kid.
It honestly could be a toss up, my youngest wasn’t fully potty trained until a few months before she went to kindergarten. Come to find out MIL was undoing all of the work we were doing trying potty train her. She wouldn’t even attempt to put her on the potty. We finally quit buying diapers and she only had panties and when my MIL had to clean that mess up she started putting more effort into getting her to the potty. But my daughter also didn’t help because she would have rathered use a diaper as she was afraid she was going to miss something, or that she is missing out on playing so it worked in my MIL’s favor that she didn’t want to but that my MIL wasn’t making her either. My recommendation is it is cheaper to wash panties than buy a box of diapers. I wouldn’t even buy them anymore.
My son is 5 now. He had no interest until he was 3ish. Trained by 4, but has had set backs due to issues with constipation. We have pull ups for when he hasn’t been able to go in a while. He is medicated for it but it doesn’t always help him. But he will full on poop in the toilet. We just worry about an explosion or leakage.
That’s lazy, doesn’t sound like mom is even trying.
Every child is different my oldest was almost 4, but he was fully potty trained in one day. We worked our way up to it for 6 months, often letting him run around in underwear when we we home. Reading a lot of potty books, watching a couple potty shows. He was terrified of any potty until he was 3 1/2, so we took our time. My youngest was not quite 3 took him a few days to get it but caught on quick, cause brother does it!
My kids were trained by 2
Oh my! That mom may just be uninformed or overwhelmed. Diapers are not really that healthy either … who wants urine & feces on your bottom all the time:flushed:. I’ve seen people start potty training at 12-18months but preferably before they can change the diaper themselves 
My daughter was trained by 2.5 for preschool (with some accidents)
4 is way to old to be in a diaper unless shes got some kind of mental issue. Sounds like lazy parenting. She wont be able to go to school until shes potty trained. At least, that was a rule where I am.
Mind ya business. You dont know if she has urinary tract problems. My son was in diapers for the longest time, I kept getting snide remarks and people talking about my business behind my back.
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It depends on the situation really every child is different some learn and are ready before others I stated trying with my son when he was 15 months but he didn’t stay interested but by 3.5 he was fully potty trained my daughter is 17 months and isn’t ready yet
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Kids potty train when THEY are ready. You don’t call a parent lazy if their child isn’t walking by 1 years old do you? My oldest is 6 and didn’t potty train til she was 3.5. My second daughter just turned 2 and is starting to get interested in the potty. It helps if they have an older sibling that they see using the potty or even if they go to preschool or daycare. My cousin’s little girl refused to potty train until 4 when she saw other kids at preschool going and she wanted to try and did it with no issues after that. Children’s bladders don’t really mature until they are around 7 or later so accidents do and will happen.
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Start training at 3. Years old
Child to blame? Are you serious? Um no. Lazy parenting. Stop buying diapers.
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I really hate when people dont mind there own business on this subject my son who is delayed is 7 still has potty training issues but my 4 year old is completely potty trained so does that make me lazy. I get some much crap about this subject and I’m far from lazy I have tried everything
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It depends on the child. Something could be off sensory-wise and she doesn’t know when she has to go but can tell when a diaper is wet. My son is 3.5 and isn’t trained yet. He’s got a chromosome issue that we just found out about…he may not train until closer to 6 because of it. Right now he says he has to go potty and will walk away but be completely dry still when he comes back. She may be saying she’s gone but hasn’t. You don’t know the whole story with this kid. Just because they look completely normal doesn’t mean there isn’t an issue somewhere. Don’t judge until you know
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Just my thoughts but all of you saying it’s “lazy parenting if the child isn’t delayed” should really just not be judge mental. Some kids have no interest at all in potty training. When you FORCE a child to do just about anything, including potty training, they get that much more uninterested! Do we KNOW the mom WILL NOT sit work with the child? Does the child fight mom in sitting on the potty? Come on guys, you are on a momma page…don’t be judge mental, try a positive approach!!! Maybe, just maybe, the child isn’t ready & the mom is trying not to force the child & make it take thaaaaat much longer!!!
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Just my thoughts but all of you saying it’s “lazy parenting if the child isn’t delayed” should really just not be judge mental. Some kids have no interest at all in potty training. When you FORCE a child to do just about anything, including potty training, they get that much more uninterested! Do we KNOW the mom WILL NOT sit work with the child? Does the child fight mom in sitting on the potty? Come on guys, you are on a momma page…don’t be judge mental, try a positive approach!!! Maybe, just maybe, the child isn’t ready & the mom is trying not to force the child & make it take thaaaaat much longer!!!
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Every family is different, My daughter is 3 and we’re still working on it. Pull ups at night and nap time and then “big girl panties” for day time.
It’s not easy
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Parents will cross that bridge when they come to it.
Every kid is different, but if she’s telling her parents when she went, she’s ready to potty train. I have three kids. 2 boys one girl. My oldest wasn’t potty trained until he was 5. He just didn’t get it. My other two were potty trained just after they turned 3.
Best thing you can do with your newborn is use this as an example to realize they and YOU are all unique and shouldn’t be compared or judged. Yes, most children are potty trained between 2-5 but children have accidents, situations can cause progress to stop or go backwards and life is too short to bear the burden of every stranger’s expectations. Do your research and choose your own path! And don’t judge others or yourself so harshly!
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My 4th child… (a boy) is 3. And just now potty trained. My others all by 2.
He was so hard to potty train. So many wet pants. And so many undies got tossed.
You have to absolutely get rid if the diapers and do the work.
Having her in diapers still is pure lazy.
Sorry
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She needs to be working with her on it. Some kids take longer to train. I’m currently trying to train my 2yo. She tells us and/or pulls her diaper off when she goes.
Depends on the kid.
My son was soo hard. He was already 3 & in preschool.
My daughter is only 2.5 & she is fully potty trained.
Its honestly up to the child. My daughter just had a true fear of the toliet. When she got to kindergarten and all the toilets were tiny, then she was fine with it.
My daughter is 19 months and i caught her making her 
face so i put her on her potty seat and she went after about 4 minutes. So I’m trying to catch her a few more times making the face and put her on, so she gets what are trying to do, then I’ll stay doing the every 30 minutes on the potty. I’m not stressing on it, all kids are different, but I’m hopeful. Maybe her daughter has learning delays? I would think if she was lazy she would want the kids out of diapers?
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Is the child is telling you she went in her diaper she’s way past the point of being ready to be potty trained. Sounds like lazy parenting.
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i potty trained mine at different ages i think the oldest was 3… depends on kid… a couple were using the potty before 2 … 4 is a little old to be in diapers but there could be a problem or its being lazy help her out maybe idk im not here to judge give ideas makes potty time fun
I potty trained my kids at a very young age… I have 4 Kids and all trained by the time they were 2! For one nappies are expensive and further more kids are to be taught and if they aren’t then it’s poor parenting… But hey each to there own…i guess…
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I thinknits the parent especially if the child is saying when she has went sounds like the mom has all the right signs the child is ready but mom sounds like she does t want to deal with it… it’s not easy but if you stay consistant the child can be successful… and bribes lots of bribes…
I think if it’s not your kid it’s not your business 
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It really depends on the child. My first trained around 2, my second around 3, my third is 2 and showing interest. On the other hand I know mamas who struggled with it and their kids were 5. It really is unique to each kid.
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It’s nobody’s business but the parents. As long as it is not your job, not your bloody business. When they should stop bottle or pacifier or anything like that. Have seen kids drink in bottle until 8yrs. They are in college and doing well. So what is the keep back.
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My daughter was almost potty trained around 2 then totally just refused for a year. Potty training isnt really something you can force to happen. They have to want to and there are a lot of variables.
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Unless the kid has autism or some form of a disability they should n can be potty trained no later than 3! If not then yes it’s just straight up laziness! If they say my kid isn’t ready they r just saying that as an excuse n is laziness or lack of effort on their part! My daughter was fully potty trained by 2 1/2 n my other daughter is 2 1/2 n almost potty trained!
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That pure laziness 
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All depends on the kid my oldest son just finally got the hang of using the potty and hes 4. My youngest son is 2 and uses the potty when he has to pee not poop yet
You can start potty training from 1 honestly. As long as the child is showing signs of readiness. Doesn’t like to sit in wet or soiled diapers/ takes thier diapers off. Tells you when they have gone in thier diaper or comes to you and tells you they need to go. I don’t think there’s a real age limit on it. Its more when the child is ready. If the kid is telling them she’s gone potty in her diaper than I think she’s more than ready to start it/ should have been startrd already
How about mind your own? It’s a great practice as a mother! Parenting is hard enough without everyone placing judgment on you. Wait tell it’s your kid almost 4 not potty trained bet your minds changed real fast on judgement 
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The mom should be encouraging thar 4 yr old, she is a little in the older side for diapers.
There might be a legitimate reason this is happening. Maybe a medical condition?
These are negligent, ( unfit ) parents, to let this child go this long in diapers. Mine started pre-kindergarten at 2-1/2 and it was required that she was potty trained to attend. (She was potty trained at 16 months). 4 is certainly a proper age for this child to be starting school. She will be shunned, or probably already is.
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my daughter was 9 months old she was potty trained she was walking she didn’t want a bottle my boys was 2 years old
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I personally feel like changing diapers takes more effort then just potty training your child. But maybe im saying that because potty training was done and over with in a week.
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All 3 of my girls were potty trained by 2! Four years is ridiculous
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We stopped diapers cold turkey and had a few accidents the 1st couple of days and never had issues after that.
My daughter was completely potty trained for like 6 months and then one day just started having constant accident again. It’s been about 3 months since then. She’s about to be 4 and no matter what I do she’s still wetting herself all the time. I say, don’t judge unless you know what it’s like. Having said you have a new born, you don’t. Of course, she should communicate with the child, but you can’t really punish them for having accidents. It’s really just a Journey that’s different for every child. Mine isn’t in pull-ups or diapers anymore, but I wouldn’t judge someone who’s is
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Not my kid, not my busy.
If she wanna spend money on diaper for that long, that’s her.
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Moms on this page are so rude and judgmental. Not everything is black and white. Wow.
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I had 6 girls and all but 1 was potty trained by 15 months the other one was 18 months
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By 3, also THE pacifier GONE by 2
It depends on the kid. Perhaps mind your business. Like you said … you don’t know you have a newborn
It depends on the kid. have an almost 3 year old and she just potty trained about a week ago, but I have a friend who has a daughter that is a few weeks behind mine who has been potty trained since before she was 2. on the other hand a have a 6 year old nephew who just potty trained.
I started potty training my son at 15 months. He was fully potty trained for pee by 18 months and poop a couple of months before he turned 2. That was including overnights… When I worked in child care they could not move up to the next class from mine until they were fully potty trained and that class started at 3 years old. I only ever had one kid not make it by 3 and that child had developmental disabilities.
That is completely ridiculous. That to me is like allowing a four year old to have a pacifier. All around inexcusable! Definitely the parents problem; enabling and laziness as far as Im concerned.
As for when your child shoud start I began working with my daughters when they turned about 18 months. By 2 they were completely out of diapers with minimal accidents at night. I kept them in pull ups even though they really didn’t need to be til they were about three just to be on the safe side.
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My daughter was 3 1/2 when she trained. I tried at 2 1/2 then again at 3. But she decided one day she wanted a hatchimal so I told her she had to potty like a big girl and she was the proud owner of a hatchimal 1 month later and it was worth every dollar to not buy her diapers anymore. My son will be 3 in April and we haven’t even tried. His speech has been very slow coming and has just learned to ask for a few things. I plan on trying this summer with him. I had had people saying things for almost 2 years about me training my daughter. But for us it was a smooth transition at an older age. She had one accident and it was my fault she was in an unfamiliar place and didn’t know where the bathroom was and it slipped my mind to show her. Each child is different but so is each family and what works for some won’t work for others. Being a sahm didn’t make it any easier to train my children.
You cant make a child go in the potty, the more you push it the more they fight. I started around 2 with both my kids and the rest is up to the child.
How about you focus on your own child 
Not my place to judge. My 9 year old just stopped wearing pull-ups to bed.
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My little girl is 3 we have been potty training since a little after she turned 1 because she wanted to sit on the potty! She still is NOT completely potty trained and sometimes I still put her in pull ups if she is have more accidents than using the potty especially if we go somewhere or do something! She will use the potty perfect for a week straight and then the next week can be not using the potty at all! Each child is different and every parent is different!
My daughter is 3 and completely potty trained! It took longer because her dad just thought it would be easier to keep her in pull ups when he had her.
Moms being lazy. Most toddlers are potty trained by 2-3. By 4 the kid should at the least only be in pull ups at night.