Should a child be forced/encourage to call their step mom, "mama"?

Child’s choice…I would never ever force my bonus daughter to call me mom. She has a mom and if she ever decided to call me that it would on her own.

I let my step daughter make the choice on when to call me mom. I told her that she didn’t have to when she asked me. She was 6 when she asked.

Never will be there mom so NO. Even if they got married, NO. Even if she died she isn’t child’s mom. Even if Mom abandoned her she still isn’t child’s mom.

No!!
If the child starts to on their own and step parent and step parents kids are okay with it then yeah. No one should force it or encourage it

I’ll throw hands if anyone tries to force my children to call another woman mom​:face_with_symbols_over_mouth::face_with_symbols_over_mouth:

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It’s not the child’s mama and should never be forced to call her anything other then her name unless the child chooses to do so

No. Only if they’re comfortable.

As a divorced mom whose ex husband and father of her child has remarried… this is my opinion:

No to forcing the issue. And no to Mama or the same form of which they address their bio mom. It’s disrespectful (unless that’s what the child wants). That being said, as a Mama who dearly loves her child, I could wish nothing more for my child than to have a bonus mom who loves and takes care of him as much as I do when I am not able to be there with him myself (weekends at Dad’s). Absolutely, if it is in the child’s heart to give the bonus mom/step mom a label of Mama2, Bonus Mom, Whatever, I have NO problem with it.

No familial term should be forced, only if the child has that want to apply it. Just my 2 cents, but take it as you will.

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Nope let it come naturally. If you’re the step-anything you are your partner’s partner, not a parent or co-parent.

No, never force a child to do that

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No, that should be a choice freely made by the child.

No… just no… should be the child’s choice no matter what.

I let my kids decide. It sucks if all the kids in the “new family” call her mom and you’re the odd ball. I was grateful she was happy with also being called mom. In life we can never have too many people who love us.

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My son’s kids call their step mom by her name.

No and it is NOT OK for FOSTER PARENTS to allow temporary child placements to call them moma and daddy either that should be corrected as well…

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My children would never call another woman mom on my life .

We use pet names like booboo and stuff

Absolutely not. Forcing a child to call someone something is never okay. I am a step mom to a 4yr old boy as well, and he chooses to call me mom. The only thing I encourage because his mom is still very present in his life, is to call me “mom mom” and bio is just “mom”. That is what we decided as a family when he started calling me mom. So he has mom & dad and then he has mom mom & dad dad.

Noooo. Having this same issue with dad & new wife. Its soooo disrespectful! Should be calling the other parents partner by their name, atleast until the child is old enough to make that choice on their own. Same goes for step siblings, i.e; my son is encouraged to call her daughter “Sissy”… I dont agree to this either…

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Oh hell no!! NOT THE MOMMA!!!

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It’s up to the child. It doesn’t hurt my feelings I’m perfectly okay with it.

My step daughter/bonus daughter started calling me Mom early on when her dad and I were dating. I feel like because her relationship with her mom was so erratic and mentally abusive she was looking for a Mom. I didn’t stop her, I let her roll with it. It wasn’t until she slipped at her Mom’s house that it became an absolute issue. I got a text message that was the most degrading and hurtful in context. I then brought it up to her and asked that she not refer to me as her Mom in front of her bio mom so that not only would she not get the wrath but it turns into a huge issues between her dad and his ex as well. It is a sensitive subject, I personally would not want my sons calling their step mom, mom, however if they chose to, because she is a wonderful woman, I would totally understand.

That’s the child’s choice in my opinion if they feel comfortable with it that’s fine by me but I would never force a child at least I don’t with my daughters step dad she likes to call him by his name and that’s perfectly fine by us

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Absolutely not!! If the child wants to call them that, that’s one thing but forcing them???! Hell no! I have 3 bonus boys who’s moms are very much present in their lives and they call me by my first name. I would NEVER force a child to call me momma, even if the bio mom wasn’t in their lives at all! I would much rather them call me whatever they feel comfortable with and if the dad in this situation is allowing it then he’s wrong too!!

No.

My kids each call their step dad different things. In conversation my son calls him Dad. But to him directly he calls him by name.
My daughter calls him Dad. Unless she’s mad then it’s his name

Should not force it, let them decide, mine did

let the child decide

nope, not unless it was the child’s choice.

No, never!!! I was in that same situation as a child I never called her mom…used her first name only. From there it went down hill. I told her that I don’t want to have anything to do with her. Its been forty years now, I have no regrets. Let a child make that decision, not you.

Please don’t force a child to do this. If they want to it’s one thing but if they don’t it’s disrespectful to biomom

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sometimes the child does not feel that close

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my little bonus babe calls me mom. she also calls me by name when she’s mad at me. whatever she wants to do I don’t mind as long as it’s her choice and she’s not being influenced either way.

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Definitely not okay to be FORCED but if they do it on their own it shouldn’t be that big of deal. Especially if they’re being treated as one of their own.
I don’t call my step mom “mom”

No. That isn’t his/her mom and never will be.

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I’m someone who was forced to say such and I’ll tell yah I didn’t bloody well like it.

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Should not be forced

My kids call my BF dad it’s always been their choice. He’s been around before 1 was walking and the other was just starting to. It mad their father mad but guess who didn’t feel that he needed to be around.

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Absolutely not. The child should never be forced to call someone by a title that they do not want to. The child will call the other person mom title when they feel comfortable (sometimes not at all put of respect of their birth parent)

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My sons father and I aren’t together. He calls me mom, his dad dad, and my boyfriend by his first name. It’s really up to the child but never force them

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Should be natural…and not influenced

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Definitely not! His mom is mom. Dad’s wife did not earn that title.

No child should be forced or coerced to call a step parent mom or dad. However, if it’s the child’s choice, then the parent should be secure enough to accept it.

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No, that isn’t her mother.

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My children were with their stepdad since they were two and four as they grew up they called him by his first name and when they got to be 9 or 10 they called him by his first name this when they were talking to him but when they wanted something they called him dad. He sat them down and told him it doesn’t really matter which one you call me but you have to choose one name and then stick to that name. So they thought about it for a while and they each have been calling him dad since they were 9 and 10

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I would never force. I was accused of forcing it. My son always called my husband NickNick it was his special name but when our daughter was born he started picking up calling him dad I corrected him for the longest time but he insisted and I was like whatever floats your boat lil man. Now he is 23 and will tell you he is blessed because he has 3 parents and was raised by 2 dads. He calls them both dad even when at family functions together. My ex-husband never really had a problem with it I think it was just awkward at first.

No way! If the child calls her mom themselves then fair enough but they shouldn’t be forced

Being a stepmom myself, I would never force my children to call me mom. I always told them they could all me whatever they wanted. They were going through enough already.

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I can only hope that if I was in this situation, I would have a good relationship with my ex and his spouse. Not overnight but both parents working together with each others spouses to provide the best situation and benefit for our kids while remaining respectful and supportive to each other. Though I understand this is not always the case.

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If child chooses to say it then fine but if not don’t b forcing the child to.

I think this is something that should be the child’s choice. Never influenced bribed or forced. My bonus baby calls me bonus mom by her own choice

As a step mom myself, no. You don’t ever force a non bio child to call you anything other than your name. You aren’t their mom, nor are you her replacement. If the child chooses to call you mom or mamma (insert name here) then that’s acceptable. But if you FORCE the child to call you mom, then you earn a name that’s not the one you want……just sayin.

As a step mom myself I don’t require my step child to can me anything. I let him choose what he wants to call me. Sometimes it’s Kristy and other times it’s momma Kristy. Totally his choice though.

Forced and encouraged are not the same thing. Forced implies there is no choice. Encouraged could mean it’s optional but not necessary. If the child chooses to, that’s one thing. But to make a child call them that doesn’t sit well with me. Ultimately, it should be up to the child. What they are comfortable to calling their step parent. Ultimately, the closeness of that relationship is the determining factor.

My daughter calls my fiance dad occasionally. When she chooses to. I don’t make her

No it is not! My step son is 6 and I’ve been with his dad since he was 8 months and from the moment he started talking I taught him my nickname “lala”. I don’t see why to get him to call me mom if his if well & present :woman_shrugging:t2: If a child decides to call their step parent mom or dad that’s a choice they get to make on their own.

Lol o don’t even force my kids to call their aunts and uncles aunt or uncle so In my opinion, Nope :+1:

No! A child should never be forced to call anyone anything. If they choose to do so then thats different but they should never be forced whether the bio parent is in the picture or not thats just wrong

Never. They need to let her make that choice. It’s sickening to force a child

My son will call my boyfriend dada occasionally but he’s only 1 1/2 and doesn’t fully understand yet…

Look, I am almost 100% sure I know the circumstances surrounding the downfall of my marriage, but I won’t speak ill of the death of it. My youngest was 1yo when he met her so when he was old enough to tell me he loved her and could he call her mom, I said it was up to her. She and I discussed it, she seemed indifferent, so we told him he could call her what he wanted. He chose to keep calling her by her name. My older two have always preferred to called her by her name. If things changed, there wouldn’t be a problem. I don’t really believe it should be suggested or forced, if they feel comfortable enough to call the other parent mom and dad it should be based on their relationship and comfort level.

Give the child the option of what they want to call the step parent . Let them know that it is alright for them to call the step parent mama if that is what they are comfortable with . Step parents deserve respect

Don’t force the boy. Work out what would be ok for him. Even, Miss( name) .it is always a tone of respect.

No, if they want to they will

It should always be up to the child.

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I wudnt agree with that tbh…

The child should choose what they want to call the people in their lives…they should not be pushed or encouraged in one direction or another ….besides there is more meaning behind the term of endearment a child chooses to call someone; then there is when I child just uses a term they are made to say

I don’t think any child should be forced to call a step parent mom or dad, they should use first names or Mr/Mrs anything but mom or dad. That is a privilege that needs to be earned in my book, and it should be up to the child to give out that honor.

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A child should never be forced or encouraged to call a non- bio parent anything other than their name. It’s happens organically or not at all.

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When I married my late husband in 2003, he had a daughter from a previous marriage. We’d never forced anything on her. Occasionally, she’d get confused & call me mom & we’d all just laugh. She’s in her late twenties now, & her babies call me “Nanny”- completely her choice. And even though her dad is gone, she ensures that I’m included in all of the milestones. :heart: My point- I didn’t have to take anything away from her mom, she loves me for me- just another supportive person in her life who loves her immensely.

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No it’s absolutely NOT okay to force that baby to call it’s bonus parent mom/dad. Let that baby decide that. Ridiculous my ex forced his daughter from a first marriage to call me mom and I hated it cause she didn’t accept me that way. She hated me and hated I was with her dad. Let that baby call that parent by her name if that’s what she wants.

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I will never understand this. I have 3 “step” kids that I’ve raised since infancy/toddlerhood. Never, ever, did I encourage them to call me anything but something respectful. Hell, one of them called me “JamesMom” for awhile because he couldn’t remember my name. It’s been a decade and their bio mom is now deceased, but they made the transition from “Dusti” to mom all on their own, as they should have the opportunity to do so.

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No it is disrespecting the biological mother

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In. My divorce. Papers read. My. Kids. Would. Not. Call. The. New person mom. Or dad I. Don’t agree

It should never be forced but it’s okay if they do on thier own.Im a step mom and I never forced anything he asked if he could and I said whatever he is comfortable with and I love him either way.He does call me mom but his bio mom doesn’t like it

Not forced. But how do you know they are being forced? My step daughter calls me mama when she’s with me, but not in front of mommy because she doesn’t like it. But I am with my step kids a lot more than BM is

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WTH kind of question is this?

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U can not force a child to call a step mother mama , it should be upto the child on what they want to call the step mom…. I’d be pissed if I found out my kids where being forced to call someone mama or anything they wouldn’t want to call that person! ( I just got married and my 13 year old refers to my husband as her step dad but still calls him by his first name because I’ve explained to her she has one mom and one dad and it’s up to her if she wants to call him something other then his first name, but I’d never force her to call him dad)

Encourage only if the child initiated calling her mama, never force it.

This is clearly a question asked by a woman who’s partner has kids and has no kids of her own because if she did this wouldn’t even be entertained.

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Any person who thinks it’s okay for you to force a child to call you whomever you wish to be called does not deserve to be with someone who has children with someone else. There’s no way I would allow someone around my children with that type of behavior.

No. I have raised my step son since he was 3 and hes almost 12 now and still calls me by my name.

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Nope!!! I had a step father who wouldn’t speak to me unless I called him dad…it was awful and traumatic! I was only 7ish and I will never forget it! My son once asked his step dad if he could call him dad…his response was you can call me anything you like, just don’t call me late for supper​:rofl: It is always completely up to the child :raised_hands:t2:

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Nope i let mine choose.

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My son though my husband was his real father but still never called him dad. He referrers his as my step dad to his friends but says he feels like he is a real father

I don’t understand why everyone has an issue with this. I call everyone mom. My best friends mom, my mom, my boyfriends mom…

Step mom or step dad by real name .and while real parents in pic there mom and dad. Maybe only way I can see a step parent almost being called mom or dad by first is if one of the real parents never in child life. That’s my opinion.

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I know step kids whos called step parents by first name or called them dad because that’s all ever known

My grandchild calls her mother “Mom” and her step-mom “Mama Sue”. It seems to work for everyone involved.

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No ! Mine call him by his first name & their dad , dad !!

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Nope. I let my child choose. He calls my bf dad, which he chose to do all by himself. And he calls his bio dads fiancé mom. He asked me if I was ok with him calling her mom and I said I had no problem an she treats him as her own :woman_shrugging:t2: but we all have a great relationship all the way around and are like a big family.

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Whatever the child feels comfortable with. Is it a bad thing to have two women that love them. If they’re married to dad, they are a step-mom.

U can’t force a child to call u something it doesn’t see u as.

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no! never ok!
there has to be something emotionally or mentally wrong with an adult who thinks that is acceptable…

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This is one of those that it’s up to the kid.

Sometimes my kids call me mom or Amber, I’ve never wanted them forced to call me if they wanted to call me mom they can!

I wouldn’t force it, if they wanted to call her that on her own I probably wouldn’t stop them.

No its inappropriate. Now maybe in 20 years if they are still married and she has been his step mom his entire life then maybe he would WANT to call her his second mama or something but now no.

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Nope. My step son calls me mommy, but he knows my name and I have never told him to. He hears the other kids call me mommy and now he does all the time.

My kids 1/2 sister calls me by my name but sometimes she calls me mom. Depends on how she’s feeling. I haven’t been with their dad in almost 6 years but she spends a lot of time over here. I’ll probably always be her extra mom, even if her dad gets married. We’ve been close since she was born even though her mom getting pregnant with her is what cause me and the kids dad to separate. Lol.

They are not his or her mom and shouldn’t be called that!

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