But she can call me whatever she wants, it doesn’t hurt my feelings as long as she knows I love her like she’s my own
A child shouldn’t be forced to do it. It should up to the child. My children called their step dad. Dad and their real father either.by his name or maybe dad once in a while but he hasnt been a dad to them. They know who their real dad is but they know who took care of them.
I’ve been mummy to my step kids for the last 6 years. Their biological mum was never a part of their lives, when me and their dad first got together they called me mummy chel but as time went on they dropped the chel. Fast forward 6 n half years and their ‘dad’ is nowhere to be seen. I raise them like my own. They’re now 21 (with 2 kids of her own), almost 13 and 8.
I have 8 biological kids and they call call my boyfriend dad… he is only the biological dad to my youngest 3 but treats the eldest 5 like his own and has been the only constant father figure they have ever known.
I’ve not forced any of my kids to call anyone anything… it’s up to them.
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My stepson was 4 and half , mother was always in out she go any where every other to 6 month w no contact w the child she had every weekend , and every other week in summer , child ask if he could call me mom , dad said that up to u and her if she feel comfortable w it … when child went his mother house she mad his life he’ll if he call me mom , at about 8 yrs old , ( was on/ off ) calling her by her name and mom until then , he said if I can’t have 2 mom over there then I will not have 2 here , after then I was mom at my house , she was mom at her house , now at 16 ( bio mom got her shit together ) even when he talk to us he call other one by there name , when we all together she mom a , I am mom b , …when he started calling me mom we did encourage it but it never force I don’t believe it should be , when he went bk calling me my name I was ok w it , we did encourage him in beginning when he want call his mother by her name we told him he was allow to … idk if that right /not nothing was force even know ppl tho it was …If I could go bk I would maybe did mama , mom L , maybe even mom in another language , so that 1 he wouldn’t be calling his mom by her name now c w my own kid y that something hurt full, and so he wouldn’t had feel like he had pick one of us be his mom and he wouldn’t have go tho hell for little calling me mom at her house…I now encourage stepmom try find something close to mom but not exactly mom only if kid want to call them mom , it shouldn’t be force , my stepson call his stepdad oi …
Absolutely not, children should be able to call their parents, step or otherwise, what makes them feel comfortable as long as it’s not blatantly disrespectful.
I wouldn’t care if my biological son decided he wanted to call me by my name 
Forced, no. Encouraged, sure, if the child is comfortable with it. From a bio mom who has 2 bonus parents involved in her kids’ lives 
What? She’s not her mother? What kind of question is this? You never force a child to call any human who is not their mother, mum
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You should let it come natural the step mom’s going to earn it 
I have been a “step mom” many years, never wanted that. Having my own children I couldn’t imagine them calling someone else mom. I think having bonus parents can be a wonderful thing, the more people that love and care for your child can be a beautiful thing. I do think every situation is different and the child shouldn’t be made to call anyone anything they are not comfortable with. My step dad has been in my life 37 years I still call him by his name, and he is the closest thing to a dad I have.
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A child should never be forced to call anyone anything. It should be up to the child.
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This is the tricky situation I have experienced.
My ex I spilt up. I got a new partner first (I will refer to him as R).
My son, about 4 at the time, accidently called him dad. I just corrected by saying my partners name.
No issue was made about it. No other conversation was had. My son said my partners name and we all continued on.
From what my ex told me, our son told him “R is my new dad” (I call bullsh*t as my ex continuously lies and manipulates)
5 months later, my ex now has a new partner. (I will refer to her as D.)
Mid November my son tells me about her.
2 weeks later she moved into their house. My son tells me: “dad is going to marry a great woman”
“Dad says I will have a new mom”
Mid December my sons tells me as he see D leave the parking lot (from swapping) “there goes my new mom”
I went to 2 Psychologists regarding this issue. With as much objectivity as 1 person can do I explained in great details of the situations unfolding. Her hugging and kissing the kids infront of me. Had she waited to show that level of affection until things had settled I think it would have been a different ending.
Both Child psychologists said they, my ex and his new partner, were in the wrong.
A few months later BOTH my kids are calling me by my first name when they were seeing me at pick up times: Hi Celia.
my son said “bye Celia” when he was going into class.
If you are getting into a relationship with someone and they want you to be referred to as mom. You need to reevaluate this person.
My ex financially abused me, stole money from our account, blamed me for our debt. Minimlaized my role as house keeper.
I worked crazy hours, up early, and kept up the house; but it wasn’t “Better Home and Garden standards, but, it’s okay.”
For myself:
My biological father was a drug addict. My mom left him when I was baby, but he stayed in my 2 siblings life in an informal way (occasional 1/2 day visits with my mom or grandmother)
When I was 7 my mom remarried a man she knew for 8 months. By that time my dad was no longer in the picture as his addiction had him on the streets.
We moved up to Canada, and my step dad and mom told us that Roy was going to be taking care of us from here on and that we didn’t have to call him dad, but could keep calling him Roy. I cried so hard as I was afraid of loosing my real dad and he was trying to replace him. (This wasn’t the case, but that was what I thought.) They gave me love and listened. No pressure. He would only be there as a parent and I was to listen to him the same as my mom and grandmother (who was down in the states). Both my siblings called him dad right away.
About 1 month I was calling him dad too. I became Daddy’s little girl. (I’m so his favourite! But, we also are similar in personality, reasoning and thinking.)
So, Brian, my biological dad, is my real dad, but Roy, is my dad.
My Biological dad died when I was 20.
Be careful the message you tell your children and how you present it.
It will get back to bio mom. I would suggest getting her permission first before you start explaining “this woman will be raising you as her own”.
It’s inconsiderate to not include biomom and may be harder for you. Don’t risk her having animosity towards you. You want it to be teamwork, and if you act in a way that makes her feel, or shows her, you are pushing her out/replacing her, you will get back lash.
Of course I want my kids to be loved by D, but their dad doesnt have the best intentions (regardless of what he thinks or D see’s).
A new woman coming in might be able to approach the mom like
“I’d really like to be in the kids lives and treat them as my own. I am concerned that the kids are embarrassed calling me step nom as they want to fit in with other kids who dont have step parents, plus, my daughter calls me mom and they are letting it slip, by calling me mom. I don’t want to be stepping on your toes. What do you think of this conundrum? Do you have any experience?”
*D has been a step mom to other kids, so for her, she had the mentality “what’s the problem? It’s just 1 more person living your child”
(This is inconsiderate to another person and their process and it fires back. ie. My prefrontal cortex shut off for over 2 years before I could get through it and calm down.)
Ps. Ex is still trying to poison our relationship. Like telling them "we dont do anything because I give all my money to your mom for child support).
So, you may also be dealing with a mom hurt by her ex. There are multiple layers to this issue
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No step mom should be called by her name. Mom should be reserved for biological mother!
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Hell no my son called his step mom mommy when he was ready at first yes it did bother me because for years I was raising him on my own and we never forced him to call his step parents mommy or daddy he did it on his own free will
Forced and encouraged are two different things… my daughter wanted to call my husband dad and I encouraged her to do it. Never forced, it was her choice.
I personally feel that if a kiddo is that comfortable calling another woman mom that speaks volumes. They feel loved, secure and connected. It’s a blessing to have more than one mama. I would never force it absolutely not, but if it happens what’s wrong with receiving and feeling extra love from another parental role? It takes a village 
Let it come naturally. When the child is comfortable with it then they will just start calling the step parent “mama” or make up a name that won’t cause issues with bio-mom.
I think it would depend on how long theyve been togetaher
I don’t think it should be forced or encouraged. The child needs to make up her mind as to what she wants to call her step parent.
I was forced into calling my stepmom “mom” and I resented her because if it
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Nope would never be ok with that!
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Forced no but encouraged yes. I call my step mom Mama “P”. The P is for Paula. My mom gets upset when I call her that and I understand to an extent but she’s been in my life since I was 7 and I’m almost 30 now
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Absolutely not . I put this in my court order that nobody else is to be called mama, mom, mommy etc .
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Never never never force. Child will only go the opposite direction. 
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I don’t think it should be forced or encouraged. A child only has one mother. But if the child chooses to do so on their own and bio mom is ok with it, Then let it be.
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I was cut off my kids for 2 years we already had court orders so I had to go through court again but my kids were forced to call their step mother mom and me by first name my twins still call her mum even though they 14 and know I’m their mum he won’t change it I’ve cracked it heaps of times but it still keeps going
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Absolutely not unless that’s what the child chooses…my daughter calls me by my name or mom. I let her know it was okay if she wanted to call me mom and and it’s okay if she doesnt want to either…its their choice…
Only her mama should be called mama!
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The child should be allowed to call the stepmom what ever they feel comfortable calling them.
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My boyfriend’s son calls me mama occasionally and I always correct him nicely by telling him my name is Cassie. I’m not his mother but I will always treat him just as I do my own son. Being his mama is a role that is not mine
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i had a step daughter and step son. i would never have MADE them call me anything other than what they were comfortable with. I was margy or marge. now under their voice I do not know what they called me. forcing a child to do anything that might be unnecessary is stupid, there are too many things out there you will Have to make them do. Pick your battles.
Never forced no, and I wouldn’t encourage it if the bio parents are in the picture but I have a step daughter who is 4, and her mum wasn’t present for almost 2 years she randomly started calling me mum which we allow because no child should feel left out because of one parents decision. we never forced her, and while she does have contact with her bio mum now she still calls me mum but she is very much aware of who her bio mum is she just sees it as she’s lucky and she has two mums. 
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If the child wants to then great but let it come from them. Never force.
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It should be the child that decides what to call a step mum/dad
My dad isn’t my blood dad but it’s all I’ve know but I chose to call him that
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My child’s father has another child and the mom calls me his stepmom. He’s 1 and calls me mama anytime he’s with me and I always say “no baby I’m not your mama. But I do love you” as a mom I wouldn’t be comfortable with forcing any kid to call me mama
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Never you only have one mom,that is the mom that gave you life,never should a child ever be forced… EVER
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Having been a stepmom myself, I say no
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No. Never force it. My son calls my boyfriend of almost 2 years papa, but has called him dad a few times and corrects himself. And he calls his dad girlfriend “dads friend”. But we have explained it is okay to call papa dad. He just seems so worried after calling him that. We have never forced it on him. Even when he doesnt want to see his dad we dont force it.
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No he/she just has 1 mother not 2
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It should always be up to the child if they call a step parent mom/dad. Honestly, depending on the level of involvement it should be up to them if they call their bio parents mom/dad too. I’m a step parent and always told my kids they could call me Stina or mom. They chose mom
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No. Shouldnt be forced. When my I married my husband, i told my oldest daughter that she didn’t have to call him dad. She could call him by his name. Shes called him dad or by his name. My other daughter was only 2 months old so she’s always called him dad. I would never force my kids to that.
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No child should ever be forced to call a step parent mom mama or any other name!
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No!! They know who their mum is, and they just have a bonus mum as well! But she is not mum regardless 
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My kids ever get forced to call anyone else mum or mumma and their daddy will be a missing person 
I’d never allow them to call another man dad or daddy because they already have one and I expext the same respect in return.
I carried them, birthed them and raise them. That title belongs to me.
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No . it’s not their mom.
I agree!!! You’re fantastic with Hayden!!! And I love you for it
This may sound silly im 57 years old I have 2 disability daughter intelucal there dad has a new partner I daughter calls her mum just to spite me she nearly 30 the other 1 calls her by name I get pissed off cause I’m her mother I cared for them when there dad abandon me and kids it hurts my feelings that they think this lady is so wondful but I point for me they won’t get to see her much as she has to go back Fiji when her visit runs out I live away interstate in qld for I daughter other won lives with me
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No. If the child decides on his/own it is their choice.
Hell na I am a step mother I would never encourage them to call me mama out of respect for their mother id be pissed if my son was calling another woman mama
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NO!! my youngest sons dads partner is always called by her first name as she’s not his mum she’s dads gf that’s it and she’s been around since he was baby
Nothing like this should ever be “forced”
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No she should not be forced especially if mom is in her life, she should call the other by her name
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Fucked up generation.The kid has a Mom. Don’t screw her up anymore.
No. It’s up to the kid. I am a newer step mom and I would never force them to call me mom, because I respect their birth mom. I would be beyond pissed if my kids were FORCED to call someone else mom or dad. My 9 year old step daughter calls me by name and says I’m her step mom and sometimes her and my blood daughter laugh about how I’m her mom too and stuff, but wanting to make a kid call u something is messed up. My kids call their step dad by name, and my boys whom have a step mom call her by name. There is not a single reason to make a child call u mom/dad if u are a step parent. Your job is to love them as your own and make sure they know that, and to HEAL the extended family- try to resolve issues and be able to co parent well together. Not to be spiteful or insistent on names
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You don’t force a child to call a step parent “mom” or “dad”. It’s disgusting. You don’t encourage it either. Let the child make that decision.
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No I’m a stepmom and my son has a stop mother too .out of respect for my stepdaughters mom I wouldn’t force her to call me anything besides my name .and same goes to my son I would feel hurt if he called his stepmom “mamá . “
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Be a loving mom and that child will decide on it’s own if you deserve the title.
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Ask the father if his replacement piece can be referred to as “daddy”. End of story. No, it’s not appropriate—unless the CHILD CHOOSES. If the child chooses, it’s perfectly appropriate.
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Completely up to the child. Even though I’ve raised my oldest two since they were very young, I’m technically their step mom. They have a mom and have always called me Jamie. It’s not offensive to me, I’ve never wanted to put them on the spot or take something special from their bio mom.
This was what worked for our family, so just let the child choose what they want and feel comfortable with
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No! Especially if their OWN mother is involved!
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Hell no! I’m a stepmom and I would never expect that. Especially if mom is involved. So disrespectful
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It shouldn’t be forced. It’s up to the kiddo really. If they WANT to call you mom, that’s cool. If they DON’T, that’s also cool. It’ll be very disrespectful to the birth mom if she’s in the child’s life.
No, you should not force yourself to do so.
It should be a choice made solely by the child.
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I would throat punch someone if they ever forced my child to do something they didn’t want to do, especially non bio family. F*ck around and find out 
Does anybody want to be forced to do something they don’t feel comfortable with? Of course not. I feel it’s completely the child’s decision to express that.
I would never expect my step sons to call me Mom. They know I am there step Mom & express there love in much better ways then calling me Mom. Thats all you need 
Fuck NO and if any my kids were force to call another bitch mum I’d cut his toe off and I don’t mean the one in his shoe 
I wouldn’t care it the least!!! While she is in the step moms care she is mom!! So let the kid call her mom if she chooses!!!
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Hell No! My kids have one mother. Your kids can still have a good relationship with her without calling her Mama
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Bro, if my kids isn’t comfortable using that term then it’s a no. Like suck it up. My step daughter was told to call her step dad, dad. I would never. It’s up to the child!
If the child already has a mother it is certainly extremely disrespectful
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My step son calls me mama but it was never forced and it should never be forced I’ve been in my step son’s life since he was 9 months old he’s now 3. Child should be calling bio mom, mama/mommy/mom and calling you whatever they feel comfortable with. My step son calls me mama and his bio mother, mom so we know who he’s referring to or talking to but we also have a good relationship
Why do people have to piss me off this early in the morning!!
Absolutely not!!! I’ve always called my dads wife by her name… my children don’t even call her grandma and she’s been in life over 35 years
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No, if they are comfortable enough to then let them who cares but your mum. My daughter calls her step mother (even though they aren’t together she’s still present) mummy Sam. I am fine with it as my daughter is comfortable to do so and does it on her own free will.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should a child be forced/encourage to call their step mom, "mama"?
Whatever the child is comfortable with but I personally would never expect nor force it with my bonus boys. They have slipped up times and I didn’t correct them but wed chuckle together. It’s confusing enough. I’m not married to their father but have been in their lives for almost 14 yrs. His Mom just shared the Mother/ Son dance with me at his Prom. I’m a proud Step Mom, they just call me Jo.
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The adults should never force it! My sons step mom use to try to force all that on my son right after they got married and my son would come home and tell me. I would ask him how he felt and he would always tell me I’m his only mommy so I told my sons father to have our son call his wife by her real name which is what he has been calling her for the last 4 years. If the child doesn’t want to do it then don’t make them do it
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Should not be forced ever the child will start calling the step parent by what they want when they feel comfortable.
I don’t feel it should ever be forced on a child no matter the age.
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I don’t think it should be forced. I don’t see anything wrong with a child having a special name for a step-parent, preferably something they don’t call their bio parent just because it is less confusing that way.
Child’s decision. My oldest son calls my gf ma’am. Her own special name that is similar to mama. It’s so sweet. He’s 7
Shouldn’t be forced. Let the child be comfortable with what they want to call stepmom or stepdad.
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Not just NO but F NO! Forcing that is that step-mother trying to REPLACE that real momma. Absolutely not. Never. Nope. Only if the CHILD wants to.
Only if it’s from the childs heart on what they call the step mom. If treatment is with Love and caring More than likely they’ll call them mom.
If the child feels comfortable enough to call her that then she should. No adult should force it.
My step kids are now grown up with kids of there own . They came in my life when they were under 5. Mostly they called me by my name…and sometimes mom. We are a his mine and ours family so when they referred to me it was often “our mom” I am now grandma to all! Sometimes during the challenges of growing up I was “not my mom” don’t let this upset you or break your heart. It’s all part of growing up and finding ones way. In the words of Someone way smarter than I am: This to shall pass.
I have two bonus kids. One calls me mom by choice and the other has his days. Same with my husband’s bonus kids. One calls him dad and the other uses his real name. I think it should be up to whatever the child is comfortable with.
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My 4 year old step son calls me mommy Anitta and sometimes just by my name. I am fine with him calling me whatever he wants. We have never forced him to call me mom, mommy, momma, etc.
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My daughter has been forced to refer to her father’s girlfriend as stepmom and her family as hers. This was over a year ago and they just got engaged a few weeks ago. She has even called herself MY child’s mother to the school and doctors. Which is against the law by the way.
I’m a step mom and have never and would never ever force her to call me mom. I told her from the beginning she could call me “Bob” for all I care. She does call me mommy now but that was all on her own and it means that much more to me.
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Let the child make there mind up. They shouldn’t me forced into it. They may say it tomorrow or a couple of years from now and when they do it will be special and have meaning. Don’t make te child feel like they have no rights.
No child should be forced.
When the child is comfortable enough, warmed up to the new step parent and is ready to take that step… then you’ll see your child be more lovable, approaching and naturally social with your new partner.
But when a child is forced, they grow to hold anger and grudges … then they become rude
As a kid, I was always forced to say hi to people my parents wanted me to meet and it would annoy the crap out of me and seriously piss me off to where I began to dislike meeting new people. 
Whatever the child is comfortable with
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The child should not be forced to call anyone mama. Even at 4 years old they mostly associate that with their mother.
No they shouldn’t
It should be up to the child as what she or he feels comfortable with
nope thst should b up to the child
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Leave it up to the child!
Forced, no. But if the child wants to call the step mom, “mama” then it shouldn’t be discouraged by bio mom either.
Im a step parent myself to a 12 yr old and both her mom and i are very active in her life and i have told her from day 1 since i met her when she was 7 after talking to her bio mom about the issue we both agreed it was up to her on what she wanted to call me weather it was by my name or by mom. My opinion is i wouldnt force a child to call me something that they were not comfortable with
This literally happened to me.My son was forced to call his step-mom ,Mom and was punished if he didn’t. I was beyond livid…
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A child should never be forced to call anyone who’s not their biological parents mom and dad. They should never be told they can’t call a step parent mom and dad either…
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