Absolutely not … nor aunties and uncles that are not related …
No!!! I had step parents and refused to call them mom or dad
No. She should be called by her 1st name.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should a child be forced/encourage to call their step mom, "mama"?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should a child be forced/encourage to call their step mom, "mama"?
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Nope. If she wants to, but that is not appropriate to “encourage,” when that usually means “made to.” Don’t be like that.
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The child has to find out for herself if she is old enough. I like it to be spontenious.
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No. I was 17 and these girls I didn’t even know wanted me to call them mom even though I had one. It’s horrible, they got mad but I’m not calling anyone mom especially that late in my life I don’t need another mom. If she wants to and feels comfortable that’s totally fine but forcing it is going to lead to resentment.
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Only if it came naturally. Nothing wrong with having two moms that love you. Also nothing wrong with calling your step-parent by their name. Whatever is more natural for the step-child no matter their age.
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No they should not whether it’s mum or dad no child should be forced to call them mum or dad. My daughter was never forced to call her step father dad, she was told it was ok if she chose to do so and eventually of her own accord she did.
Never forced, but recognizing that the step mom has a role as a “mama”, then I would not discourage it. Especially if she loves and cares for them like a mom.
I cannot stand it when people are like “I’M MOM and you (step moms) don’t get to be called mom”. F*** off with that crap. A step MOM IS a mom.
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No. Just no. I had the most wonderful step-mother in the world. Just an absolutely wonderful human being. But she wasn’t my mom. I have one mom. She raised me. She is the only woman I will ever call Mom. I love them both with all of my heart but my mom is my momma.
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No. I still call my step mom by her name and love her just as much as my real mom. Not really necessary. Let her do it naturally on her on, if she wants to.
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It’s should be up to child and wether there comfortable with it, I’m all for step parents but personally I feel as if the step mum is crossing a line encouraging it.
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No you don’t force a child to call a step mother mom. This shouldn’t even be a ? If they have a mother then that’s who they call mom. Y’all be to much forcing your kids to call people who not they parents Mom and dad… if they wanna that’s one thing. Never be forced to !!! Not up for discussion
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If you start a sentance with “is it okay for a child to be forced/” your answer should always be No.
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Nothing wrong with calling step mum’s mum because they are there when their biological mum is not there ,so why not ,I’ve step kids which I regard as my own n they call me mummy at times and that’s okay ,children can see the importance of people and should decide for themselves ,always remember if the marriage didn’t work it should not affect the children . Different strokes for different folks .
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Not forced no. Mum is bio unless they choose in my opinion. Nobody can. Replace a mum. Can always pick a different title that differentiates but is respectful. People can come into their lives without replacing those already in it. Regardless of if the parent sees themselves replacing their ex.
My Dad was a weekend Dad. When I was 3 he remarried.
I feel he guilt tripped me into it. It broke my Mom’s heart when she found out. Every situation is different but don’t force or “encourage” kids to do it
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We asked my son what he wanted to call his step dad. He chose to use his first name. My awesome husband was fine with it- he just wanted him to be happy.
Are you sure the child is being forced/pressured? My foster kids always called me mom after the first few days, but they’d often refer to me as Miss Holly if they talked to someone else. They called their mom “mama first name” if they were talking about her, and sometimes when talking to her, but often referred to me as Mama Holly if their mom was there. Sometimes kids call mother figures mom when it’s convenient, but when they find having more than one mom confusing, they differentiate.
No. The key word is force. No child should be forced to call anyone else Mom or Dad. I am a step mom and they asked me and I told them they could call me anything they wanted.
coming from someone who has a step-mom, DO NOT force your kids to like the step parent. I would be forced to hug, show affection, etc. to my step-mother and it made me really uncomfortable. and to this day I still have no relationship with her because im still so uncomfortable. if your kid wants to call their step-parent mama or daddy, that’s fine! bonus parents can be awesome! but only at their pace.
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Yeah my kids aren’t calling anyone mom/mama but me. I did not go thru 9 months of pregnancy and birth for them to call someone else mom. I would be pissed if someone was encouraging or forcing my kid to call another woman mom.
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She is NOT his mom so DO NOT force the child to call her mom even if real mom is not present in their lives.
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I was a stepmother for over 30 years and I never wanted or expected my stepchildren to call me by anything but my name. They have a mother.
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I have two step daughters and would never ask them to call me mam or any variation. When we discuss the dynamics of our family as I have two daughters with their dad now and they call me by my first name and we refer to me as a bonus mam for them. They will always have their mam and dad I am just a bonus mam, that if they ever need anything they know they can come to me. Never force it, I have a great relationship with the girls and wouldn’t treat them any differently to my own and they love coming down to us.
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Real mom should be so lucky that her child is that confratable calling her as such it is a blessing and not jealosy that my ex love of his life will love my kids as much as I do I could not wish for more so put your jeulosy aside and think about your kids and all the extra love they will get knowing that someone else has there very best at hearti know its hard but wow just think of the very best for your kids thats all we really want in life xx
I’m a step mom, and as far as I’m concerned my step son already has a mother and a father, I’m another responsible adult who loves him, same as an aunt or grandparent. I think it’s one thing if the bio parent isn’t present and the child feels that bond and chooses to call the step parent mom or dad. I try to abide by his mom and dads rules for him, they already have to deal with coparenting. I use my common sense and ask something if I don’t know. I think step parents should be able to develop their own relationships, organically, over a normal span of time with their step kids and maybe just don’t put any label on it. I don’t think a kid should be encouraged to do that, it’s confusing. They know who their mom is and it’s a special title that’s earned not given. My step son calls me by my first name.
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My miss 5 yr old calls my husband stepdad. She always called him by his first name until the day we got married, I said to her he’s your stepdad now we’re married. Never once told her to call him that, he was fine if she still called him by his name but she chose to call him stepdad. My 2 step kids still call me by my first name, it doesn’t bother me if they wanted to call me step mum or mum or keep it just as my name. Whatever the child wants. If my ex ever marries someone and my daughter wants to call them stepmum, I wouldn’t discourage it, but no way I’d allow it if it’s not legit
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When my father remarried the question did actually come up. My father said he would love it if I did because it would make us a family but it was up to me. So when I went to my stepmom she immediately told me that I wasnt her kid, she had no interest in being a mother figure and to call her by her name only. She also made it clear that she married my father to be with him not take care of his kid.
Child’s decision I was for ed to call my step mom mom and she was a year older than me
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Im a step mum and i get called by name i also have a child of my own and one on the way and my eldest child is not confused with my step son calling me by my name
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Do not force children to call their step parent “mom, or dad” I have a step mom who I absolutely LOVE, I was never forced to call her mom, hug her, kiss her, I hated her at the beginning but I was only 2 years old, and it was new. I am now 22 years old and there is not a day that goes by that I do not call her. I asked her for advice on my own children now. I formed a huge bond with her on my own because I was not forced.
Definately not.
I used to have a stepson and I was ‘Em’ and he was told that we were best mates and he could come to me, if he didnt think he could talk to his mum or dad.
Nope. My stepmother has been in my life since i was 7 so 20 years and Id never call her Mom. I HAD a mom who sadly passed last year but nope, i call her by her first name and since i lived primarily with my mom til i was 18 it was never even brought up if id call her Mom.
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Only an evil woman would want a child who’s mother is very much alive and in the picture, to call her “mama” . Period! That is a special position that holds honor as commanded by God!!!
Know your place and stop competing with your stepchildrens mom. Have your own children or adopt a motherless child if you want to be called MAMA!! Shame on you
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If the bio mum wasn’t around then yes if that lady is being their mother! Not a chance on Earth if the biological mother is in their lives!
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No. If the child WANTS to call her mama, it’s up to them. But they should never be forced or encouraged to.
Was told to let the child call them whatever they feel fit… so in my case my daughter’s dad was getting mad that she was calling my husband daddy but we wasn’t forcing anything on her …
Me n my stepdad came up with nicknames for each other when I felt mr was too formal.
No. It just makes things uncomfortable all around. I was in this position as a child.
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No child shouldn’t be forced or encouraged if the child chooses to then not much you can do
Should be what the child is comfortable with. But I do have a rule with it in my house we never add the step if choosing to call the extra parent sibling . Especially when it comes to brothers n sisters.
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Up to the kid.how it feels. I never calld my dads new chick mom. Heck no.but it’s up to the kid.
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It should come naturally from the child.
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The kids trying to be respectful, bio mum and step should sit down with kiddo and explain that it’s okay to call both mum and no one will be mad or sad.
No, it should never be expected. That is between the step parent and child.
Deffo not ! If the child chooses to when they are older okay but shouldn’t be forced
No, unless biomom is totally checked out or not alive. Them it should be first name, Mrs. Surname, or a mutually agreed upon nickname.
Absolutely not. Call her by her first name or nickname. It’s insulting to the bio mom.
No, step parents are called by their names
Not forced but maybe suggest out of courtesy
No child should be forced to call someone else mum or mumma
A child should never be forced to make that step if they are not ready.
I was a step mom I asked my step son to call me auntie. N now my son I get him to call his step moms auntie.
Absolutely not. That title must be earned…
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I wouldn’t like my kids calling someone else mom.
My kids called their stepdad by his name.
Let the child decide.
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Choose another form of endearment to use.
Do not force. If they chose to fine
No let the child decide .
Let the kid call stepmom whatever they (kid, not stepmom) are comfortable with. Doesn’t need to be more complicated than that.
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She is not his mama.
No it’s not. If the real mom is in there life. No. Because you’d probably get your ass whooped🤷🏻
Nope. Not one little bit.
My two eldest are step, at some point after their Mum and I got together they asked if they had to call me Dad, or Luke (they had been calling me Luke so far). We told them (with in reason) they could call me whatever they wanted. They then asked if they could call me Dad and we said again, if you want to call me Dad, you can, it’s up to you. I’ve been Dad ever since.
In my case bio Dad is not on the scene, so not identical cases but I still feel that it should be natural and up to them, not forced, they’ll only grow to resent it later on.
It should be up to the child…if they CHOOSE the call the step parent mom/mum/mama…etc then so be it… but not forced
I never forced my ex’s kids to call me anything other than my name if they didn’t want to. I thinks it’s wrong honestly but that’s just my opinion, you should never make a child that’s not yours call you mom let them make that decision they will be more comfortable with you that way.
No need to call anyone mom if they’re not your mother
I don’t make my step daughter call me mom but I do remind her not to tell her sister (who is my biological child) to call me Cat. (What she calls me). I’m cat to you, I’m mom to her though.
Never forced. But I’d say if they want to, let them.
Forcing them to do so is wrong. Trust me I know I had a stepmother when I was young and was forced to call her mom. I ended up resenting my dad and his wife at the time
No. If the mom is alive, has custody or in their child’s life. The stepmother has a name, use it. I am a stepmother and the kids called me by my first name and it never bothered me.
It all about what the child and. Step Parent is comfortable with, so forcing is a bad idea.
Hell no! Bio mum is mum unless child chooses otherwise. Should never encourage calling another woman mum if the biological mother is in the pucture.
Guess it depends on the child and the relationship with the bio mom. Some can be upset by the thought of someone else being called mom. Others embrace the idea that the child is blessed to have two “moms” that love them!
Absolutely not. She is not their Mom.
A child should never be forced ro call someone something they don’t want to. If yhe child would rather refer to step mom by name then child has every right and shouldn’t be told to say something else until they find something else to call them
By “Force?” Hellll no!!
not unless they want to
Not forced . It should be natural and feel right . You can never have to much live and moms . Let the child feel the time is right .
No they should not be force
No they will do it on there own if they feel the love from her you can’t make them say mom
If they are old enough to choose what they want to call the step mum dad and siblings, let the choose. Never ever force it!
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No they should not. They have a Mom and a Dad. These steps should not expect to be given that title. One Mom one Dad. I had 3 step dads and never called them Dad until the 3rd one was the most awesome and adopted me and my sister. He truely was my Dad in my heart and in his heart. To confusing for the little ones.
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whatever the child feels comfortable with calling her …you can’t force any child to call step parents mam
At first my step kids called me by my first name but as time rolled on they adopted me as “ma”. Their choice. I love them regardless of what they call me 
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How about a special nickname for step-Mom, so they are not both called “Mom.” The child has a mom already, the step-mom will be a special person in this child’s life - but not child’s mom. The child & step-mom & father & others can discuss together what name to choose & let child have final say.
I have three step children, now adults. When they were in their teens and the youngest was in 2 nd grade I was very clear. You have a Mom, who was very present. They all call me by my name. No problem with that. It depends on the family dynamic.
My ex’s now ex wife had my daughter calling her mommy for a few months and that was honestly cringe worthy. I asked her if she had asked her to call her that and she said no so I just said okay… she went back to calling her by her name shortly after though. So weird.
As a step mother myself, my stepchildren always called me by my name. A name has nothing to do with love. Love is what is important. Let it not be a part of discussion. Meaning, let the child decide and go with the flow. My stepchildren’s mother passed away 10 years ago and recently my stepdaughter whom I’m very close to, said in a conversation we were having, “if your lucky you get two mom’s “ That still makes me tear up. I am blessed to have them in my life. Their dad passed away 2.5 years ago and I’m so happy to have these grown up kids with kids in my life.
I think forced is not good. I called my step mom Mom. I was 11. Birth mom died and I wanted a mom really bad.
Step sibs called my dad by his first name.
My case is very complex, my ex and his wife told my kids they had to call her mom since she was now married to their dad, but also they’re forbidden to call me mamá at their father’s place, they have to call me by my first name (and the step-mom insists in calling me loquita which means crazy in Spanish, instead of Lupita) … I tell my children not to fight on this, I only want them to be happy and not to get in troubles…
Let the child call her what she wants to call her, never force a child. If she wants to call her mum, by her name or nickname, it should be down to the child, and what she is comfortable with. I can’t understand people who force or coerce their child in calling their step parent mum or dad, it’s wrong!
I’m dealing with Same situation!!! My daughter who is 4 is completely confused and they don’t help the situation. She has came home and called me By my name instead of mom and she told me her dad said I was no longer her mommy I was Nicole and his wife was her new mommy and she was supposed to call me Nicole and not mom but I fixed that real quick it’s terrible what someone will make a child to do just to piss off the other parent. I think you earn your spot in the child life by waiting for them to make that decision regardless of their age basically meeting them on their level
No never a child should not be forced to something that upsets them or it will cause more upset and problems in the long term let the child choose what comes naturally .
Decide on a nick name for yourself. Let the child help decide on what they want to call you. Everything comes in time. I know, I’m a step child.
No. Mom is mom. Should call her what she feels comfortable with.