I see everyone saying oh get 1 account, but what if you SO spends money on stuff you dont need. Like mine, he will just go to the store and just put whatever he wants in the cart and not think twice about it. But I dont. So at the end of the month I have extra money and he has nothing. And I dont feel like I should be buying his cigarettes I dont smoke. Or be buying all the stuff we dont need that he just gets because he has money in his pocket. My SO doesnt think about the next week when neither of us get a paycheck. This is why I have over $2000 in my bank account and thats nkt including my paycheck I get every 2 weeks. But anyways I feel like yes it should be 50/50 with the chores. He should be helping out more with his son too.
Marriage is 100%/100% period 50/50 implies you are only giving 1/2 of your ALL , you may suggest a division of labor and $ but marriage is when 2 become 1 —-
Should be a team. Have a joint account, we do an allowance type thing where we have so much pocket money for ourselves equal amounts. I do more household chores while he takes care of the outside.
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Start writing down what needs to be done for the day and tell him you’ll do half if he does half. If he doesn’t clean you don’t. He may have an attitude while cleaning but it’s still getting done. And start telling him to do stuff with your son. If you’re in the middle of cooking and your son need to be changed or needs a bath, tell husband to do it. It shouldn’t have to be that way but most guys don’t think about things like that or they view things differently than we do.
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Marriage is 100% off both sides and sometimes the other has to step up to 200% when the other can’t give their 100%. It’s about compromise, communication and understanding. I believe so anyway.
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Absolutely!!! How is this even a question. If he wants a partnership then give him one.
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My boyfriend of 5+years works more hours than me AND makes more money than me but he works 3, sometimes 4 days a week and I usually work 5 (he works longer days) BUT he still cooks and cleans and helps with the kids. Kids that aren’t even biologically his. I don’t even have to ask. He just does it. And that is the difference between a man and a man-child…
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Make him pay you for your over achievements!
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What about yard work? Fixing stuff etc.?
Your right!
Just do the necessary housework to get by and see what he thinks, maybe if he has to do his own washing and ironing might wake him up
Two became one. One bank account. The fact that y’all split bills is not healthy.
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It’s not a business relationship 
that’s what it sounds like
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Same here Chelsea If you see it needs to be done do it.
Just be honest. Babe if you want to be 50/50 on money then we need to be 50/50 on the housework too. We’re both adults and I’m tired
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I believe y’all’s system could work if you both know your role… as in who does what in cleaning and take turns with kiddo. It can work!
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My husband and I have a chore list for the month. Not who does what, but what needs to be done in the house each week. We decided together each week who’s gunna do what on our cleaning day. We also share a bank account and take turns on who tends to the kids when they wake up at night depending on days off.
My advice is speak up. You need to be clear on what you need to be satisfied in the relationship.
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Once you’re married, it’s not about splitting 50/50, it’s about teamwork! If one partner is putting in 40%, the other picks them up and carries 60%. It’s balance. I’m a stay at home mom and work on the weekends but I also have school during the week and get that done with my son is taking his nap. I work hard and with my SO and I going to counseling, he’s starting to realize that we’re a TEAM!
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Yes I he wants to do 50/50 then that should also be household as well.
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My husband and I are the same, although we made an agreement that the inside of the house is my responsibility (cooking cleaning etc) and the outside is his (mowing the lawn, yard work, house updates/fixes etc.) just talk about it and find out what works for you. Although if he asks for help I will help and if I ask for help he will help, vice versa. It’s about teamwork. Nobody can tell you what is best, you two have to figure out what’s best for you both.
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I believe putting your money together and paying bills And maybe give both yourselves money every month like allowance. We tried that splitting bills and that didn’t work.
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It should be 100/100. You’re together in a relationship, not roommates. Money combined to pay the bills, both have an allowance for the week or until next check for gas, lunch, whatever, and both working on chores. If you cook, he cleans, this week you take care of sons stuff, next week he does, whatever works for you. You’re not a maid and he’s not a roommate both should share the responsibilities of your family and home.
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My fiancé and I put our salaries together and pay what needs to be paid, and then the rest is for food, animals etc. We definitely don’t split our money or bills etc, we work together on keeping things running, with finances, housework, cooking, outside fixups, etc. We’re a team.
In my house chores and housework is separate than money and bills. Keep your money separate and go 50/50 on everything you both use , rent utilities and food. If you need help to upkeep the house and are okay with how he cleans then just ask. You’re married with a kid and household so act like the adults you are and ask for help.
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I agree with not combining money. I’ve never known a person I could trust that much with money that’s not my mum or siblings.
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I am currently a stay at home mom with our 2 month old. But before I stopped working he paid a majority of the Bill’s I did the house work and bought the groceries/ cleaning stuff, he makes more than me but I paid smaller Bill’s like CC payments and such too. He does the yard work. Equally sharing responsibility doesn’t necessarily mean 50/50 money wise. I am also responsible for paying all of the Bill’s on time and scheduling appointments. Plus his ex wife likes for me to be responsible for appointments and everything their daughter.
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If you feel like it should be then talk with him. I have done that and we as a team took care of the house. We would put the chores in a hat on saturday and we picked till they were all gone and what you got is what you did. negotiations happened like I would rather clean the bathroom than the kitchen. But i will say if you feel something is dirty and needs cleaning then do it. As for my children we are a united front- I do,do most of the child things but thats is guided by the childs preference- thats how we work it. Communication is key here and do it before resentments
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50/50 is great stops the fights of I do more or I do less… I would suggest going half on everything. Tell him what you require and he should tell you and together come up with a plan. Don’t let this small problem cause fights. I’ve learnt the hard way and I see alot of people are doing it. The 50/50. Good luck
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When you say “husband” to me that means your partner, why are you splitting bills?! You get a joint account and pay them together., if you don’t THIS is what happens… as far as chores go, you both live there, tell him to clean up after himself, you’re his wife, not his mama
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We done the 50/50 but he made a lot more then me if I needed money for anything I just ask for it we worked it out together house work was mine but he helped out too he didn’t like dishes at all but would do them if had too if I worked a double shift house would be cleaned an supper ready when I came home I would do it if not but you have to tell him that you need help he may not know you want help men don’t realize that
I would discuss it with him until you guys find a median that makes you both happy, 50/50 on absolutely everything may not work for you guys, but getting him to help a little more around the house would definitely make a huge difference, it’s all about finding the routine that will satisfy you both
Never. I honestly think money should be kept together unless it’s a separate savings account that the other partner knows about. My parents kept separate money and now that they are older it’s a nightmare. Household chores should be a team effort.
I don’t believe in 50/50 as such I think if a job needs doing you just get it done whoever it is but talk to him if he’s unwilling to pull his weight around the house suggest a cleaner and split the bill 50/50 
Good luck
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That’s tough. If it were me, I would just ask for help on a few things to start - clean up after dinner or get up once with his son - simple to start. And see his reaction. I would also be prepared to simply discuss what 50/50 would look like for him and let him have input on things he can help with. And tell him the why behind what you’re asking. Honestly you may never get to what you see as 50/50 but at least he may do something more?
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If you are both paying the same amount while also working the same amount then yes you should split it. But unfortunately this just begins to be like roommates. You are married, a relationship. Personally I feel like there will always be problems when you do his and hers money. You should pool the money and bills gets taken out of it. It’s THE money. One bank account. It’s about trust. (Just my opinion, I don’t know everything about your situation).
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I don’t like the term 50/50 when it comes to relationships. Because that’s not realistic. Sometimes it’s 80/20.
But no. Our house isn’t really “50/50”
We both work. Full time. On opposite shifts.
I care for the house and kids when I’m home. He cares for the house and kids when he’s home.
He does the yard work.
I clean inside of the house.
He does 90% of the cooking.
He pays for the house. I pay for the bills.
We alternate paying for groceries.
But all of our money is pooled together.
You have to find a system that works for your specific relationship.
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Hire a housekeeper and use a delivery service for grocery’s and whatever else you can. Add the cost to your bills and split it with him. Exactly what he asked for.
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Marriage shouldn’t be 50-50 you’re not his roommate with benefits. It should be 100 in everything on both parts. There’s times when one person will feel more overwhelmed than the other and there should be no problem in the other taking over any task all by themselves. In a marriage both people should be willing to handle everything on their own but not having to because the other is willing to help as well and that’s where you both give one hundred percent.
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I am sorry but this is so foreign to me. Whatever happened to being a team, sharing all duties, responsibilities, and bills? My husband and I have combined bank accounts and share in everything. Chores, taking care of the kids etc. Although I do more of the household chores and he does more of the outside work. We communicate if we need help and we consult each other on big expenses making sure we stay in budget.
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My hubby doesn’t do a whole lot around the house or any of the cooking so he pays more bills. We both work full time but he also makes way more money than I do. We don’t "split"the bills but I have mine that I pay and he has his. It works for us. Might not be for everyone but he’s been told on numerous occasions when he’s tried to complain about paying more bills that I’d be more than happy to let him do some housework or he could hire a maid and personal chef and see how much that would cost.
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Everyone is different. We are not 50/50 my hubby pays all bills and mortgage… I pay for my vehicle, gas in whoever’s vehicle I’m using, I buy groceries, household needs and anything our kids need… he does household chores and laundry when I don’t get to finish it all… it’s about being a team. Not tallying up who does what.
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currently a SAHM and just likI tell my husband, “just because you work it doesn’t mean that when you come home you’re not a father and husband.” Being a father and husband means that you help out in the house that you help build and create. So, I would just tell your husband that he’s a father and husband just as much as he is an employee elsewhere and he has to put in just as much effort in the home as he does at work.
I’m a SAHM and my husband still comes home and helps me with chores our children because a marriage is supposed to be supporting one another and we both understand that.
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You are absolutely right. However does he ever do stuff like repairs around the house, plumbing, carpentry, etc. Also how about the cars? Does he service or help with the upkeep of vehicles? If not darn if I would do his laundry.
I did house my hubby did yards mowing weed cutting outdoor stuff fixin house r yard garage items - I’d cook inside n bake he grilled outdoor foods- put our checks in one account I wrote bills out n he usually has pocket money r if needed $$ we usually discussed whatever reasons -
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I’m confused as to why you split things so 50/50. Sometimes in a marriage one partner puts in more sometimes less. It’s all over the place. Nothing in life is ever truly 50/50. I am also curious as to why you don’t share bank accounts and pay out of the joint account. (I’m super old school and traditional, I know.)
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I guess everyone its different we dont do no 50/50 type of things i currently dont work cux we just had a baby couple months ago but still till this day i get his full check and im the one in charge of the money to pay bills grocery etc. But he would come home and help me out with the kids while i finish doing dinner or etc. Some days i dont even do nothing and he wont complain instead he would be the one just cleaning and taking care of the kids. But im also the type of wife that if he needs anything im right there for him and he knows. I guess you really need to have a good talk with yours so you wont be doing everything on your own.
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My husband is the same way when it comes to the house and my son. I usually say, “I’m going to do X, X, and X. Can you do X, X, and X?” I used to get angry that I had to ask, but I also ask myself, “Do I want to be happy or right?” I want to be happy so I do what works. When I ask he does it. On the weekends, I’ll make a list if what needs to be accomplished and put it on the counter, fridge, etc. Then, I ask him what items he wants to do. This seems to work too. Also, when it comes to my son, who is 4, I’ll say something like, “do you want to do bath and brush teeth or dishes and lunches for tomorrow?” Also, since being home more due to COVID-19, I asked him to brush my sons teeth, give him his vitamin, and breakfast before he leaves for work. When I used to just delegate, I didn’t get a very good response. So, when I say what I am doing before I ask him to do something that seemed to help. I hope that made sense. Also, I hope this helps!
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Depends. My husband and I both work and pay pretty evenly on bills. I do most of the housework and chores etc and sometimes I get overwhelmed or bitchy about it BC I feel like I’m the only one who does things like that constantly. BUT THEN I HAVE TO REMEMBER…I don’t work on the cars, I don’t mow the grass, I don’t maintain any of the actual important things like the furnace, plumbing, etc. So even though there are things I do more, there are also things he does that I try to remember. But he will help if I ask or if he notices I’ve been avoiding dishes for two days.
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At my house we came to an agreement that he does the morning and I do the evening. So picking up the house, doing dishes, breakfast, kids to school. I do evenings so dinner, school work, activities. I don’t think it’s 50/50 bc I still do the cleaning/ laundry/groceries but the fact that every morning I know he is doing the work makes me less crabby about it not being 50/50. It took awhile for the routine to kick in with it. It’s also about finding what works for you. Maybe you just want him to do specific things every week, lay it out, communicate directly and don’t think it’s going to happen over night.
My parenter makes alot more then me he pays for the rent and i pay for groceries im about to go on maternity leave and my partener is very generous when it comes to paying and never makes me feel bad about it. i do all his laundry and put away for him the food shop and all of the cleaning he takes care out outside stuff and he cooks on my late nights i work and weekend. Where we can we do 50/50 on bills
Every family dynamic will be different. Depending on how you both were raised and what you believe about gender roles will play a part into how you split household chores. In the beginning we split everything 50/50 and I did the majority of the cleaning and cooking. Then he started working weekends. So having weekdays off he now cooks most of the meals, he does more housework but I still do the majority of the housework and he now pays a majority of the household bills. I wish he’d help more with household cleaning and he wishes I’d cook more again. If it ever becomes super bothersome to one of us, we address it with the other and put a modification in place (it usually doesn’t last though). But communication is key. Let him know how you feel and if he’s willing to change anything or help out with something. If not, and it’s not something he ever did in the relationship then you might have to accept he won’t do it or continue to push at it…each has their own pros and cons.
It’s not a relationship when it’s any percentage … my husband and I put our money into one account bills are paid then we make a decision where the rest goes together. Sometimes I get what I want sometimes he gets what he wants … sometimes it goes to home or car repairs whatever. I do all the housework he does all the yardwork mind you we have a mini farm it’s just natural not talked about if he needs help outside I go help him I need help inside he comes and helps me anytime you have to sit and discuss who does what and how to make it 50-50 the relationship has already went to shit
Who makes more money ? Sometimes My husband has made more sometimes I’ve made more … it’s a team effort as long as both are trying the rest is bull crap
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Yes it should. But also it shouldnt need to be 50/50 for Bill’s. We look at it as OUR money. Goes in one account and pays what needs to be paid.
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Everything should be shared as in his money is yours and your money is his. Household chores again should be shared. Money doesn’t come into chores
I put it to my partner years ago that it was as easy asking himself 1 thing he could do in the day to make my day a bit easier the same way I do 100 things a day to make his day easier.
Our money goes into the joint account and bills come out of there . I have a savings that I use to save money . He does my laundry for me 
we do housework together
It should be 100% /100%. I was married to someone like that and he thought since he brought in more $, I should “ make up” for it by doing all the cleaning, cooking, errand running and still I was told it wasn’t “ enough” after other family situation I finally had enough and divorced him. I don’t want anyone to have to go through what I did.
50/50 is for divorce…marriage is 100%
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Everything should be 50/50 but 50/50 to your lives could mean something different to someone else’s life. Whatever works best for your household is whatever you should do. If you feel like your situation isn’t working, address it because he may not know you’re strained. It has taken me many many many years to understand to ask for help when I feel pressured instead of letting it build up. It should never be an argument in a good understanding relationship.
We have one account. Most bills are in my name but I still pay them all regardless. I sign the checks. I only work part time though so it just makes sense for me to keep track of our income. I’m more frugal with our money than he is also so we always run bigger purchases by each other first before we spend $$$. As for housework, we both do our share equally.
I have a wonderful husband who help’s in house while I work. Now that he is really busy I try to do most house work. He spends his days off Mowing the lawn weed whacking working around the garage. I don’t do yard work I’m not sure that would even be safe for someone like me. Rarely a relationship is 50-50 it’s more like 60-40 80-20 whatever the other may need at that time
You’re incomes should be combined, not his not hers,ours, take responsibilities together, joint partnership.
Let me only comment on the child side. Suggest to him the benefits of helping out with your child and if he doesn’t step up, please go ahead and enjoy it without complaining. The rewards to meeting your child’s needs are enormous, the love, loyalty and closeness you’ll share is all worth it. A lot can be accomplished when you work 40hrs a week. If he won’t step up on the housework, give yourself permission to do only what you can manage even if it means just getting yourselves fed. Some conversations will never yield the desired results. Some people will never step up and you can’t be miserable all your life because you feel cheated. If you adjust your attitude about things, you’d be surprised about what you can endure. However annoying it is, remember there women who go through so much worse and that you still have something to be grateful for, the 50% income he gives and the companionship, and no domestic violence to mention a few.
So we actually just had this talk. I came from a marriage where it was 100% me, into a relationship where I’d rather put pens in my eyes before foot all of the work. When we moved in together we used a calculator to divide it 50/50 due to how much money we make so it’s an actual percentage because two people seldom make the same. Now when it comes to house work the kids do their chores, and I do my part, but by no means if you’re feeling burnt out is your system working. Not addressing it leads to resentment. So sit down with everything and assign it. We have a newborn so when I’m feeling like it’s just enough I say, it’s your night. Usually I do the nighttime feedings though. However, he cooks all the meals. It’s just what you balance. Sometimes you’ll give more than you want, sometimes you have to take a seat. But definitely address it.
Put up a 50/50 duty chart and let him know that chores/household duties should also be 50/50
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I think the answer is obvious! So instead of posting all of that on here, please just sit down w your spouse & talk it out!
Fifty fifty should include everything not just the bills. Start charging for all the work and see if he gets the message.
Bills and housework aside, parenting is a joint responsibility.
I think every relationship is different. For my husband and I marriage made us one. Therefore nothing, including finances, are separate. What’s mines is his and vice versa. But honestly the person who gets paid more kinda pays more bills.
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Well I would say all money gets put into the same account and you guys decide on an amount that goes into your personal accounts.
I would nonchalantly say hey can you wash these dishes while I do the laundry. Or clean the bathroom before getting in the shower so maybe I can have an extra 15 minutes with this bowl of ice cream. My SO would rather me ask him for help while I’m doing something rather than doing nothing at all. But my SO is pulling a little more weight around the house now that he works “FROM HOME”. I come home after putting in my time at my job to the house picked up and cleaned up. So that way we can enjoy some time together. And I always have the kiddos pitch in and help as well. When they are young make it fun. But definitely mention it to him nonchalantly that you would like some help then if he doesnt like the idea stop doing stuff for him. He will get the picture. Hopefully.
No I don’t think relationship should be 50/50 especially if you’re in a marriage if one of your slack in the other one should be able to pick up what’s left I’m sorry and I definitely feel for you because I am an extremely similar situation but I did ask my husband for help and as long as I let the dishes of his way or set the laundry up his way he will help me out but if I do not do it I’m doing everything by myself I’ve been married for 13 years now and up until about three years ago I finally just had f*** it this is my life this is what I wanted and I’m going to have to make it work regardless if you wants to Lucerne. And honestly I’m happy I am tired all the time but his nothing coffee can’t fix
Allen Kyle Greve see this? Everyone im these comments does what we do, put all the money together then pay bills then each has spending money no matter who makes less or who makes more. THIS is how its suppose to be.
No wander marriages don’t work these days ,50/50 well that means he can cook and clean for himself also and with a child I have never heard anything so ridiculous.
For one why is your relationship 50/50 it should be 100 both ways. Mine an army husbands money is our money. There’s no hos and mine its ours
I’ve been married 40 years we have always had a joint account everything go into it. I do pay all the bills and do 90% of all house/yard work. But, who cares he does what he can when he can. Why be married if everything is separate
This is something that needs to be established long before you start cohabiting.
If you want him to pull his weight around the house, the answer is simple, tell him and stop doing all of his chores.
Ours is 100% together. Actually he just lets me handle all the money.
Me and my ex weren’t married but any money made was both of ours. Even when only one of us was working
In a sense, yes. Its like a balancing scale. Over all it should be 50/50 but it needs room for shifting. Sometimes someone has to pick up the slack. Nothing is black and white. 50/50 means a-lot of things, its not a clean line down the middle. You my be good at one thing and your husband my be good at another; For instance I cook and he does the dinner dishes( i will not eat anything he cooks fyi), i can fix anything but…he’s more technological( he wont let me mess with a computer if it wonky and I don’t blame him! I will make it worse. ) if something hits us out of the blue we shift the weight. balance…its 50/50ish its not clean cut.
Exactly, 50/50 means Bill’s, household chores, cooking, helping with the kids. Everything 50/50 not just going to work lol
We did the half n half n he wld throw the bills under the car seat n never ended up paying them
Pull back on paying your 50 until he gets it. Your time and work are worth something.
I will never understand why married couples split bills and such 50/50. You are married not roommates!
Does your spouse take care of cars, lawn, paying bills, handy man jobs??
A marriage is supposed to be teamwork. Not just w bills but w everything. I’d just kinda ask if he can do - fill in the blank chore- and that you’re just really tired…and keep asking. If you’ve always just done stuff he might have come to expect you to continue to do stuff around the house.
Yes it should be 50/50 on bills and such
To have a lasting marriage or even a lasting relationship it is 100/100.If you love each other, talk and agree and follow through.God wants us to be happy,and keep that son of your’s close.
I use a different approach and find the most functional cleaners. Amazing myself by cleaning white fabric marked by texta. Grease off Pyrex, metal, grease of clothes (light brown stains on t-shirts, black grease (off material and car motor, note; rinse off the motor), paint etc mostly cleaned off material, some plastic and paint.
My product was Aldi Green shaving cream into water. Spray, rub and rinse six times all texta gone from white label and material had no damage. Try it, it is not irritating to my sensitive skin and no annoying odour. This cuts down cleaning time enormously. Cheers
My house is 100/100. Only way it works. Not this 50/50 stuff.
Every household is different… talk with your husband.
I’m so confused about splitting bills lol are they married or dating?? So crazy
Approach him??? A marriage is a partnership You share everything. 50/50. Case closed
Theres no way around it sit down and discuss the issues yes there maybe yelling but just get him to realize it takes 2 in a marriage in everything. You need money to survive but happiness and contentness is important
I think once your married your money should be combined and Bill’s should always come out first. That’s what me and my husband do we pretty much spend as we want just let the other know and we discuss together any big purchases that aren’t necessities. I do most of the laundry and cooking but.my husband helps inside the house as well. When I was a stay at home mom I did it all but when I went back to work we split it all. I dont think it’s very fair all he does is outside chores bc there is way more that needs done inside than out in my household anyways. And as far as your child he chose to have a child with you it’s his responsibility as well and he needs to know he needs to step up as a dad.
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Do you do outdoor chores or is he the sole person who does that?
Yea, two people made your son, you all make the messes and dirty the laundry. If it’s 50/50 then it’s not just when it’s convenient
Is he your roommate?
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Outside and inside chores and kids if both work fifty fifty.
Oh dear had all that at one time. I gave up the job. I just couldn’t cope. You could go halves paying for a cleaner.
My husband and I have four accounts, his mine and ours. His SS check goes into ours, he gets seven hundred of that just for him. My SS goes into my account as does eleven hundred from his retirement. I pay bills and buy food with that money, I have savings account and so does he. We both have access to each other’s accounts. As far as house work , no he doesn’t and it’s just the two of us . He takes care of the outside and I take care of the inside. Been 55yrs now.