If he wants everything to be 50/50 (which is really weird to me) that should include all household work🤷🏻♀️
Sit him down say ok 50/50 Bill’s here is 50/50 housework and our so
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Approach it the same way you’re asking s
Hire a cleaner and make him pay.
Yep everything 50/50 even kids and household chores
Joint account is the way to go - no his and hers just ours
Might as well be single or you stay home .
Sounds like y’all are roommates more then husband and wife
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It should be 100/100…
Just do your laundry and your dishes and he eventually see the light.
No 50/50
Joint account. And housework the same !!!
One account or several accounts with both names. 100/100.
Jeez sounds like you’re running a business
Damn. 50/50 is not a husband. That’s a room mate
Tell him 50 50 is for room mates not husband and wife u should clean house do laundry and by groceries he s the man of the house let him pay bills stand ur ground any man wants to split everything is usually cheating usually
Ask him to help more, or employ a cleaner and pay 50/50 
Maid service… 50/50
Good luck with that.
Good luck with this my dear !
Yes he better step it up
The man is supposed to be the provider. If the woman can work then that’s ok too but that should be her money and if she wants to help with bills that should be up to her. My money was always my money and I helped with the utilities because I chose to. He never wanted me to worry or stress about the bills so I could concentrate on the kids. He always provided.
My bf not even husband he gives me what money i need for bills and then he also will do part of the cooking we work different shift most days but on weekends ill make breakfast and if its nice out he will do BBQ ect and he will help w some house work and a huney due list. Like we had a plumbing leak and he fixed that. I may do a lil more like laundry and dishes but he def pulls his weight
I had to have this convo with my boyfriend the other day. He said he didn’t want to get in my way by helping and knew I like everything just so, so he didn’t bother. Well that shit didnt fly and I told him he needs to smarten up. So far so good. We’ll see how long this lasts.
50/50? Giiiirl, no. I’m not married but live with my boyfriend and we have a son together. His money is mine and mine his. Everything goes into one account. He hands over the dough and I make sure bills get paid out of both our paychecks. We both spend- within means- money on whatever we want. When it comes to our son & housework, yes I do the majority but if I need help or feel he is lacking, he will hear about it. Might cause an argument, but I work too (same as you, his job more psychical, my job is more mental but its still draining.) You need to speak up. Stop doing so much and maybe he will realize when he doesn’t have a clean shirt or glass to drink out of that he should start pitching in. When it comes to your son, you are a mom and will never not tend to him. I’m in the same boat and wish I had a little more help with ours but if it comes to anything else you just have to put your foot down.
Does he do other things for example like trash duty, minor house repairs and making sure the cars get oil maintenances. Also, if you’ve never had a conversation about him doing house chores and you always do them he just may not know. Communication is key
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Imo splitting bills 50/50 is for roommates not married couples but yes if he’s insisting on paying half the bills he should also do half the housework & childcare. I’d tell him if he doesn’t start pulling his weight around the home he needs to start paying the bills himself.
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Definitely speak to him about it he probably already knows he should do more in the way of house work and children but think they can get away with it, if everything is 50/50 then that’s everything. It doesn’t hurt to pop the Hoover round while the other sorts the kids. One wash up if the other has cooked dinner. It’s not just about helping it’s about respecting each other. You both live there you both clean yours both parents so you both parent 
doesn’t have to be an argument just a discussion on how you’d like some help with the house work etc. Good luck
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I would calmly tell how you just mentioned. Tell him all the stuff you do on your off days and after work and explain that you think its only fair that if he wants to split everything 50/50 that you think it should include the household chores and helping with your child as well. And try to find a compromise.
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If bills are half like room mates then i would talk to him about he needs to do more to help you with your son and choose things that he is able to help out with around the house. I would also suggest if your up one night then the next time its his turn. You both have a responsibility to bend when the other person needs you. Of course it may not always be fair but he should understand when you were up late or had a bad day then he should pick up the slack and so should you
I will say this men don’t just do chores, they are oblivious- is this a refusal or lack of awareness? My fiancé will do ANYTHING I ask to help but I do have to ask- he just doesn’t see the house tasks as I do- we are implementing a chores chart for us and kids because everyone should help take care of their home.
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We did it percentage wise. My ex made more money than I did so he paid a little more in bills to make it fair.
This is most families. You have many options. Prayer works best in my experience. Men won’t be pushed so you’re going to need to pull. They listen when they want something (food, sex…) so raise the issue at the right time. Get him to empathize (tears work well) & encourage his desire to problem solve. Ask if he has a solution like what kinds of stiff he is willing to do for his family outside of just working. My husband does the yard work, fixes broken things, and is respectful within the house i clean. But i dont pay 1/2 the bills, i pay like 1/3 because shopping, childcare, meal planning, and cleaning ARE a job. It took us years of fighting before finding common ground, which was just basic maturity & acknowledgement of our familial commitment.
Hire a house cleaner. Split the bill. No more problems
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If you are working and paying bills then he should have to help you with chores and kid. If not he is more of a roommate then a husband talk to him and let him know.
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Flat out tell him him needs to start helping more.
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If there is a big difference in your pay checks put the same % of each into a household account every month to cover household. This is what we had to do as my husband wouldn’t agree to just one joint account for everything, what he earnt was his!! Marriage is give and take and helping each other with things to be done, you’re married not housemates. We are all prone to falling into the ‘traditional roles’ ie women taking care of children and chores.
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I don’t have advise on how to bring up the conversation since idk if he is approachable or willing to listen… but if he does not agree to the chores then u let him know he will be paying 2/3 of the bills., ur not a maid, chef personal assistant… you are his wife his partner… my two centa
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Yep that’s only fair. And alternate on days for cooking… We are always required and expected to do more and give more. Men just need to get it through their heads that 50/50 is of everything. Kids house and bills lay it all out write it down draw a chart so he gets it through his head.
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It is whatever works for your Relationship. If you love each other, you will work it out.
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GOOD LUCK!!! I really believe you have to find the right kind of guy to make it work and very few of them exist!!
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A marriage is not 50/50, divorce is 50/50. If he wants the marriage to work then he needs to give 100% all of the time. There are days I’m struggling and my husband will pick up my slack and vice versa! We are a team!
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That’s a roommate situation there. Anytime you have to even approach him about taking care of his own child & his house, that would be too much for me.
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Tell him if bills are 50/50 house chores and your child’s needs should be 50/50 as well. Communication is key.
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Hire a cleaning lady…split it 50/50…it’s a win win
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It should be a unity, no 50/50 crap. 1 bank account that all the bills come out of and so do both of your pay checks. Y’all are roommates that may occasionally have sex and have a child together. From your post, I wonder who’s claiming the child on taxes this year.
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I hear you. I feel like I do 80% of the parenting but then men expect you to split everything 50/50. Quite ridiculous!
The poster has anonymity - why are the responses public?
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My husband and I had this problem in the beginning to the point where I felt like a Martyr, I became very resentful it almost ruined our marriage…long story short I STOPPED doing EVERYTHING and did the bare minimum which I considered My half of house chores, and low and behold he started doing his share once he noticed he had no more clean underwear …we even had a few therapy sessions to help us through but now we work as a team on everything, my house is not as clean as it use to be but Hey, we are as Happy as ever:smiling_face_with_three_hearts: hopefully this helps you 
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Yep, he wants 50/50, then that means everything!
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Stop doing things for him. Care for your child, obviously.
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Wth? What kind of man asks to split 50/50? My man and I also work 40 hours a week. His is more physical and mine is more mental, we have a joint account, and both our paychecks go on it. We never look at, who made more or less, we both spend and pay bills together. He arrives home earlier then I do which means he watches the kids in the afternoon, along with making dinner. I leave later then he does in the mornings, which means i get the kids ready in the morning, pack lunches for the sitter, and drop them off. Idk what kind of marriage you have but, to me that isn’t normal. He needs to buckle up!
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Talk to him tell him how you feel. And keep an open mind about his response.
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Bill 50/50 housework 50/50
You ain’t married woman you have a bedroom assistant
Work together for happiness. Joint account for household Bill’s. Housework or household tasks should be shared. If one week your having a rough week, he should do extra and reverse.
He may just not realize it. I know my boyfriend now splits everything with me 50/50 but he just doesn’t think to help with housework. I just casually ask him to help me do this or that and that’s normally the end of it 
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He may just not realize it. I know my boyfriend now splits everything with me 50/50 but he just doesn’t think to help with housework. I just casually ask him to help me do this or that and that’s normally the end of it
You are married and split your bills 50/50? As if all of the money that comes into the home does not belong to both of you? Sorry, I can’t get past having roommate finances with your spouse.
We have been married for 45 years. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a yours and mine. All our money goes into one account. We split our chores. There are things she excels at and things I am better at. However, we can both do whatever is needed. Generally I take care of mechanical stuff (automotive upkeep… she doesn’t have to worry about that.) and home repairs and upkeep.) She does more housekeeping than I do but I help by cooking some meals so she doesn’t have to do them all. I do most of the grocery shopping and errand running. She does the biggest portion of putting things in the laundry and starting the process. We both fold clothes together. Both of us work on cleaning the kitchen, I am more a stickler on keeping counters cleaned off. She asks for help, I help. I ask for help, she helps. She TELLS me to do something, expect problems. I TELL her… expect problems. Marriage is a partnership. Love each other. Support each other. If you feel something is not fair, speak up! But don’t be surprised if your spouse feels the same way about something. I try to do something everyday that helps my wife. Sometimes she realizes it and sometimes not. It’s still a good goal to have. I have typed too much, guess it’s time to go see if she wants to go out for supper. We’ve both put in a long day!!! Lol
Time invested in the home and family is worth money too. So it’s a financial and even legal topic if you were to ever divorce (which I pray you never do btw). But even our legal system sees time invested into building a family together an “investment”. He may genuinely just not see it it that way. Be kind and speak from your heart and start helping him understand. I think he will respond well. If something doesn’t change, you’re going to end up very worn out and neglected as a human being.
I personally could handle doing 50/50 bills and I still did the house work and cooked here and there, I don’t mind it so much because keeping busy helps my anxiety and other issues. In my defense though I’m pretty damn difficult to deal with so I don’t mind making up for my hard to deal withness by doing the housework stuff. Only thing I ask is he take care if the cars and outside the house and little household repair like crap. Oh and killing spiders as well that’s in the deal too lol
What’s with all of you saying he “might not know he needs to help” wtf. He’s a grown man, he damn sure does know he needs to help, he’s dumping the “wife” duties all on her while also expecting her to work and pay bills. Naw. If he wants it 50/50 then it needs to be 50/50 across the board. If he wants a housewife he needs to pay 100% of the bills and let her stay home 
. Otherwise, put your big boy undies on and start cleaning and raising your kid.
Tell him to help you
household money and household chores should be 50/50
it’s worth the fight
you are getting screwed and he’s taking advantage of you
Tell him to sort his shit out or fuck off your not his mum
I suggest sending him an itemized bill for your housework and extra duties, right down to the gas you spend going to the grocery store! If he bitches about it, tell him he can save money by doing it himself! Mr. 50/50! 
And if he dont pay up, take it out of your part of the mortgage/rent!
Ummm in my opinion, it shouldn’t be 50/50. It’s should be 100/100. I’m a stay at home mom to two boys, one is 18 months and the other is 2 weeks. My husband works 40 hours a week, his job is more physical than mental. Being a stay at home mom for everyone is different. For me i have my good days and my bad days. When my husband started slacking off. (Not taking the trash out, cleaning the dog poop up, leaving his trash everywhere, etc) I got fed up with it. I told him I needed him to be a better role model for our children because their going to look up to him a lot. And Ill be damned if my boys think it’s okay to not help and do what their asked the first time. I told him I wake up in the middle of night with the the youngest, I wake up at 4 am and stay awake until our second wakes up. Make breakfast, clean, do the dishes, and my entire downstairs is done before my husband decides to get out of bed.
After telling him how I felt that I needed him to help me more and doing what I asked the first go around he’s gotten a lot better. I would just talk to your man and tell him how you feel.
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So glad my relationship doesn’t work this way… Feel sorry for those it does. 
We both do chores… And we put our money together for bills in one account so there isn’t my money and his money, it’s OUR money.
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If the issue is that you have very different spending habits, that one or more of you refuses to compromise on, and you have to keep your money separate, then… yeah. I guess just like any other roommates you probably also need a chore wheel. But just fyi, statistically speaking, people with drastically different spending habits and no intentions of compromising get divorced more often. In fact, the only way I’ve seen it work is if the separate accounts are the compromise, and one of them is a total pushover about everything else. I fully admit, I don’t understand that. We have one checking account, and then other savings accounts. Our names are together on everything. We both own everything. Idc if one of us gets sued and that opens us up to lose everything, it also protects me (who is home with the kids) from getting nothing in a divorce, or owing a shit ton of money in taxes in case of his unexpected death… which might happen if he ever tried to file for divorce. lol
Just explain you feel over whelmed and tell him you’re creating a honey do list to help out more.
For all the advice you’re getting to go to one account. DO NOT! My opinion is that you and your partner should have a joined account for bills and whatnot but always keep an account for just YOU. People are unpredictable and you need to have backup funds. There are so many household dynamics and some of the advice I see is just not practical(IMO). People don’t know you, your SO or your cultures, they have a lot to do with home life that many people don’t take into consideration. If you can see a professional to help with your marriage I highly encourage that. Everyone’s marriage is different and it’s natural to run into disagreements.
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Wow y’all sound like roommates😐 you both became 1 when getting married which means no more my money/his money and you both should help with raising your child and the chores around the house. You should be a team and work together to help each other😊
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1 household 1 bank account. All money goes into 1 place and all bills get paid out of that account. That is how it works in my life. Much easier. Less bullshit. I would feel like a roommate in your shoes. But the housework thing, just tell him. Explain to him you need more help. Some men step up some dont. If he insists on the 50/50 start keeping tabs on the work and have some on your half knocked down. Play his game and look up housekeeping costs and sitter costs in your area and add it all up.
Write down all the housework and then divide it.
You both work 40 hours. You both pay half the bills. If he wants everything split evenly he needs to pull his 50% of housework. You can mow every other week.
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Totally agree 100% from both
Get rid of him, this is not healthy
Thats how I think it needs to be men do more yard work since I have bad neck
So we try to do 50/50 on bills but when my husband made more than me he paid more. And he technically still pays more of our bills because he gets va pay. If he’s not pulling his weight you need to talk to him.
Make a chore chart! I just tell mine what to do and it works out well lol.
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So glad my marriage isn’t like this marriage is 100/100 fyi and im so happy I have an amazing husband I really hope you guys figure out a better way of doing things cause that is not healthy I wouldn’t think so any way
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I sure as hell hope you’re not taking on the extra chores for free because he would pay a lot of freaking money to have somebody else do those chores.
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I feel you should pay all the bills with all the money and then whatever is left you can split 50/50 as far as the house work in the kids that’s not supposed to be a paying job that’s something you have to work out with him separately
Where is the idea of a honey do list? I’m only 31 and if there’s a project my wife wants done she’ll tell me, I’ll admit I can’t stand cleaning bathrooms or surface cleaning but I’ll do the dishes and vacuum and steam clean the carpets, maybe not every day but often enough. I mow the lawn which is a couple acres do mower maintenance etc, other projects around the house to upkeep it but if his job is more physically demanding cleaning jobs may actually be difficult for him with all the leaning and bending to accomplish it, we have separate accounts, I pay most if not all the bills, and I make sure her electronics and computers and phone stuff is up to date you can’t expect the partner to be able to 50% on anything if you need help ask him for help, if he needs help he should ask you, it’s going to be a struggle every relationship is, but help him to be the best version of himself and encourage him to help you be the best version of yourself too
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We share. We put all the money together pay the bills get the kids things and food. Whatever is left we decide together what to do with it. 50/50 is a more a mental thing in our home. Some times its 80/20 on either side. When you love eachother you work together. When one just can’t the other steps in and vise versa. Thats team work.
Are you guys married or roommates? I mean…what
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Honestly I had this EXACT same problem when my husband and I were dating and I asked myself before we were married- is this something I can live with for my whole life? Does this override all the good?
When we were dating we split things 50/50 and he was VERY nit picky on his 50 because he’s been taken advantage of with money before so it’s in his nature. Also he litterally did not do a chore when we moved in together. And we had some HUGEEE fights about it. Fast forward 5 years, we haven’t fought about these things in over 3 years because I changed my perspective which changed the whole situation. We did get a joint account and that did save a lot of money fights for us and we both still have personal accounts we use for little stuff.
This is what I learned about my husband- and u may find urs very similar- when my husband was growing up he wasn’t expected to clean house, he was barely expected to clean his room, the only chore he was expected to do was his turn on dishes. Whereas my parents expected me to do anything that needed done. U didn’t get a chore list- u saw what needed and u did it. And I think that women even if we are raised with chores we are taught more about housekeeping. This sounds like a piss poor excuse, and it is I agree (and believe me, my sons will know how to clean a house) buttt we don’t get to choose how our men are wired. We get to choose if we can live with their flaws and if their good traits our way their annoying ones to where we can live with it for our whole lives so now my husband does dishes every other turn (which turns into every third or 4th turn sometimes because I can’t stand them sitting in the sink for so long and just do them) but he also does anything I ask. This was hard for me to get to and even after I swallowed my pride and started asking it was hard for me to not be annoyed “u mean I gotta tell a grown man the floor needs swept?! What in the world?!” Haha but like I said before most men genuinely do not see the things that most women are hardwared to see. Also another thing is my husband neverrr complains about anything being dirty. He can walk into a tornado and he just keeps his blinders on, but on the other hand I swear he coukd come home to a disaster area and the table would be cleaned off and he would notice and say “thanks for cleaning the table babe it looks great.” Haha. Ur husband may not be like mine but I’m betting he’s got some good in there or u wouldn’t have married him 
u need to talk with him, be open with how u feel but do not be accusing or hateful that’s the quickest way to get a man to shut down- and then ultimately ask for help. Also something I do is try to always say thank you, even if it’s the smallest task. This isn’t always easy. Some days I slam dirty clothes around in my laundry room and try to count ten things I love about my husband cuz I’m sick of his laundry, but marriage is like that haha. Be open and better days will come
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Stop doing those things and see what his response is. I go on an unannounced strike here & there to see if he’ll be more grateful or pick up the slack. It’s an eye opener for him at times. I also say “Hey can you do so and so…since I’m busy doing this?”
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This isnt how marriage is supposed to be, you are supposed to work together. Are you doing all the yard work and house maintenance, taking trash…these are chores too?
You lost me at split the bills as long as im married I will not pay a dime from my own money and he would never take it from me either
Because hes not working rightnow we both do the house work together
When he works i do it all
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Ummm no.
We have 1 bank account, we don’t say who makes more money or who does more housework. It’s all our money. We of course talk before making large purchases, but that’s about it.
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Got to work together he is asshole
If yall are married and in the same household, how the bills get paid should not be you pay this i pay that, ot causes a lot of arguments and frustration. My husband and I had separate accounts for a while and it was always frustrating figuring out who was going to pay what and when. It got much easier once we shared an account and the bills just got paid.
As for hose work and child care, it should absolutely be 50/50 especially sine you both work. What I have found to be the most effective way of approaching this type of thing is to sit him down, talk to him and be direct. This is what i need from you, I am tired.
In my case once I started throwing in all the “extra” stuff I feel, I think ect. He started taking it as me complaining or bitching. Where as the more direct approach worked without any argument.
Just my experience though.
I’m not married. However I have my own bank account and I would be fine with splitting bills 50/50 if that’s what we decided. A lot of my friends husbands/boyfriends pay for the mortgage and major things and just ask them to purchase groceries, lights or oil etc. it really just depends. My version of clean is different from a guys version of clean so I do all the cleaning. He will help sometimes with dishes (loading the dishwasher etc) but I take care of everything else. I work roughly 85-95 hrs every 2 weeks and also have a toddler. I make it work
Why is money not looked at as joint. Why are you dividing. Marriage is a partnership. Division is for divorce.
My parents were always weird. Daddy got paid and he gave everything to mom because she managed the financial obligations. The fun money was always used for what they both wanted. Daddy needed a new truck. He got it next time mom needed scrapbook stuff. Marriage is about living together. If you are constantly dividing you will end up in divorce
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You could always hire a cleaning service and spilt the bill. Just a thought.
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Write down what you posted and give it to him. Does he do the things like fixing things changing bulbs , takin out the trash. Washing the cars mowing the lawn killing bugs ect if he does then 
My man and I split. He pays half the bills and I pay the other half. We both clean and we both make sure the kids have what they need. We’re a team. Unfortunately I do all the shopping 
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My husband and I split the utilities and he’s pays a little more towards rent. We take turns buying groceries and both clean. He does the yard work. I hate mowing !!!
Tell him he can pay ALLLL of the bills and you can take care of the house and kid on top of working. Use your extra money for spa days! See how he likes that arrangement.
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A man that helps HIMSELF his woman and his home and has the compassion to care for his own child is from the heart I am so blessed and greatful for you Baltazar Chavez