Should Birthday Parties Be Taken Away As A Form Of Punishment?


"My oldest child has two households. He lives with me and my husband full time and sees his father and step-mom two times a month and on school breaks. He has been having behavioral issues most of the summer since he's been there. His birthday is coming up, and they've had enough with his behavior and decided to take his party away. I don't agree with it as I feel that it is a day to celebrate his birth and not a day to be punished. I do agree that he needs to be disciplined for his actions, and I think that there are other things that can be done as a form of punishment/discipline. We don't always agree on how to parent our children. What would you do? Would you agree that this is a way to discipline your child? Any advice is appreciated."

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"No. You’re right it’s a day to celebrate his birth. EVERYBODY deserves to celebrate their birthday. And that shouldn’t be taken away from him.
There are other ways to go about it and discipline your child."

"You can still celebrate their birth in other ways. I think smaller setting celebrations can be beneficial for children who are struggling with how to act appropriately."

"Do not undermine the father. Yes, birthdays are important and he absolutely should have consulted you before making such a decision but your child won't learn anything if you go behind dad's back and do a party."

"You can celebrate his birthday without a big party. Teaching kids to be held accountable for their actions will pay off for them in the long run. Otherwise, they may never respect authority figures and the bad behavior at home could become worse or continue. Not every birthday needs to be a full party."

"Look at it this way correct the child’s behavior but DO NOT TAKE THAT PARTY AWAY … you never know when it could be his last birthday… they all need to be cherished!! As every day should be as well.. but taking that away is only going to lead to more resentment and more bad behavior."

"I do not agree with taking a kids birthday away unless he did something very very very extreme. Just consistent bad behavior obviously needs some other consistent punishments to change that behavior other wise it's just going to continue. Also, this really depends on age….like is he a teenager or a 4-year-old. Consequences are different depending on age and what he did."

"Take his party with his friends away and just have a family dinner with a cake to celebrate his birthday. No presents.. tell him he can have a nice party with friends next year if he can learn to act right."

"Honestly you can celebrate his bday with a cake after dinner but not host a party. Tell him that he risks losing out on a party and if he continues then, that is on him. I love doing nice things for my daughters but if they are absolutely bad, I will hold them accountable."

"What happens at Dad's house stays at Dad's house. You don't really get a vote. Have your own party for him to celebrate!"

"There is a difference between having a party and celebrating his birthday. My almost 14 year old isn't doing anything fun like we had planned because he broke his Nintendo Switch on purpose. But he still got a small early birthday present and will still get a cake and a special dinner. You can still celebrate his birthday without a party, games and presents."

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