Realize that everything you describe does not make him a dad. That word is use for real men taking care of their kid. So since he is just a sperm donor, why not cut ties with such a loser and take him to court for real help. Your a mother, you need to put your kids future first. You shouldn’t be living for the present moment anymore. Why are you not giving your kid the world like he or she deserves vs letting your kid deal with a loser.
You would probably complain if he didn’t send her home in the outfit she was sent in
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Laundry machines are a thing
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File for child support and custody if you haven’t already. Not necessarily for full custody but just so you have a legal binding paper with what days you get her and what days he gets her and it will make getting child support easier
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I would skip all the drama n bs. And just go to court have him pay child support and do everything legally.
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Is it “fair”? What’s the issue here? That you do far more than he does or that a child shouldn’t wear the same clothes for two days?
I’m guessing you two can’t settle this between the two of you, so formalize a visitation schedule and put him on child support. Odds are you’ll only have to go through mediation, not court.
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wtf is this page and why is this misogyny in my feed? is this woman known to this group as to deserve the reactions here?
Yup. And she absolutely cannot have anything extra. No coat, no hair bands etc. I find it ridiculous. The other day the roads were getting really bad and they wouldn’t let me pick her up bc she has his clothes on.
I don’t send extra clothes for my daughter so that they don’t get forgotten over there. They wash the clothes she was sent over in, have her in different clothes while she’s there and then send her back home in the outfit I sent her in.
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Go to court and get paternity and custody,child support and court ordered visitation
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Take him to court I’m sure they will help sort this out
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I’m just saying, I had the exact opposite problem with my daughter. My ex-husband gets her from school on his visitation day and when I get her back a couple days later, she’s always in some junky old clothes or pajamas that are too small and I never get back the nice clothes she works cool. I’m at the point where the day she goes to school and he picks her up, I put her in clothes I don’t mind losing. I wish he would just send her back with her clothes she was wearing
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Would that be fair to your child ? Sounds like your being petty about sending your baby back in the same clothes when 2 grown adults have issues it has NOTHING to do with the child so why take it out on the child ? Sounds a bit ridiculous
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Keep your kid. If he wanted visits he can go request them. You can also go request child support….
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Send in one outfit you don’t mind if it doesn’t come back. You don’t have to supply food , diapers , wipes or anything in between except medications. That’s on him and apply for child support. I’ve literally lost hundreds in terms of clothing not coming back and it being their nice stuff. They go dressed nice and tidy and return looking homeless in clothes to big or too small for them yet he’s in new outfits all the time. Lay down some rules. He will either like them or not. It’s not your job to supply him and wear the cost.
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Well guess what i used to do! I used to send my baby in the clothes n diaper she had on the only one bottle with formula in it which forced her father to have to buy his own stuff pfor her while she was there. Simple fix
This what he’s supposed to do. Don’t you want the clothes from your house back? My ex-husband didn’t do this, and it sucked. He would pick our son up from school, in his school uniform, every other Friday, and send him home on Sunday in worn-out thrift bag clothes. I literally had to buy my son a new school uniform every other weekend, out of my own pocket. That gets very expensive. He didn’t pay child support either, so it was financially difficult. You should be glad that he’s returning the clothes that you bought. 
I sent my son in pass off clothes Gray on gray whitey times dude sweater cuz his daD hates the word dude lol took pics of outfit and told him be sure I get the pass off and outfit back . He loved fancy name brand… I did OPPOSITE. Now he’s in school and he doesn’t keep my good clothes. He learned the hard way. He kept my good clothes , his would come back a Lil grape stained or grass stained lol
Side not I’d tell him he can take eow and he can settle for weekdays too . He can provide his own stuff for his own house. Sucks to suck.
I mean if the clothes are clean I don’t see an issue in it. Personally I would be more upset if the child was sent back in dirty clothes and/or I’ll-fitting clothes rather than the outfit that I sent them with.
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What’s it matter? If they’re clean there’s not an issue
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From experience all I can suggest is not let the little things disturb your inner peace. No matter what kind of parent he chooses to be, as long as you are doing your best, it’s all you can do. How your child’s dad behaves, does or says are not within your control and these back and forths will only destroy your peace of mind and eat at your soul which in turn affects how best you can be for your child. Unless it’s a safety issue or abuse, let it go because in most cases no amount of talking, nagging or reminding will make this person be the great parent you want them to be. The expectation that he will parent the same, or even put the child first may not be on the cards and although it sucks and we feel disappointed for our child’s mental health and well-being, what we are in control of is giving our best and showing them love. Good luck xx
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I honestly pick my battles and this isn’t a huge issue for me eventually it will come back in rotation
Why not just send the kid over in a stained up outfit you dont care about so then its not a big deal when it doesn’t come back?
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i never sent my son with clothes or anything when he visited his dad. i felt it was responsible to have what our needed when he was at his dads home.
You’re entitled to child support! Hold him accountable! As far as the clothes thing…My kiddos are 18 and 11. My youngest is required to change back into whatever she wore from my house, before she comes back to me. It’s her fathers hang up, not mine. I buy them nice clothing but he somehow thinks his are better. 
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It’s absolutely fair. You paid for them! They should have a wardrobe for her at both houses. Period.
If he’s working why are they not garnishing his check for child support⁉️
Sometimes communication goes a long ways. Even if it’s rocky. Go into it without animosity about the relationship ending, if at all possible. “Hey, so-n-so. I know we’ve had a rough couple of weeks, and I know this is hard to get used to. I appreciate everything you do as a father, even if it seems sometimes I don’t. Does kiddo have enough clothes at your house? Maybe we can work out something and talk about co-parenting to make sure we’re both getting equal time with our child and both getting a mental break, too. I don’t want our child to miss out on vital parenting time with you. I want to make sure we’re both doing things fairly and equally for our child.” Sometimes if you make it about the kid, it takes it away from you needing the help, because really it is about the child. Yes, you need help raising the baby but the baby also needs more daddy time. If that fails, which I’m sure it will the first or second time you try… especially if it was a rocky breakup, step back and let the courts handle it.
Follow your heart. If you’ve chosen not to pursue court for your own reasons don’t let these responses hinder you. If you’ve been tempted prior to the post then it is time. But you know his situation better than these fans. If he’s making 12.00 an hour he’ll be making 5 an hour and praying for a basement to stay in. Hope everything works out well for the child. Sending good vibes.
I always sent the older clothes. My ex was an ass.