So my when it comes to discipline, I view spanking as a very last resort, and to due it with a clear mind, no anger. Other forms of discipline exist, and I think those should be approached before any else. Ex. Physical training (wall sits, Laps etc) time out, chores. Anyway, my husband wants to give rights to my daughters aunts and uncles, also grandparents to spank her, but i firmly believe if she gets spanked, it should be by me or her father ONLY! What are your opinions on this, please?!
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Only momma and daddy. NO one else would spank me as a child nor would my parents let them…
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Absolutely not. That is in total violation of her body to just have whoever spanking her when they see fit.
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i wouldn’t allow it no.
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UHHHH HELLLLL NO they should not be touching YOUR CHILD. There are plenty of other ways. And if they can’t keep there hands off then they don’t watch your child. Simple
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Yikes. Absolutely not.
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Physical training really??
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I’m with you. If it need be as last resort mum and dad only. Nobody else should ever touch a child like that
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Just depends on why she would be spanked. Are they going to be watching her all the time? Not sure how old she is either. Now if she did something very dangerous to risk hers or other family members life, then yes a spanking should happen. If she is beating up on another kid, then yes… If she is just being a grouch and not wanting to listen, then no.
Only mom and dad should be able to spank your kids.
I believe only you and Dad are allowed to spank her
Nope! I wouldn’t allow it
No spanking whatsoever
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I don’t allow anyone but myself or my Husband to spank our children. Because what if someone decides to call CPS out of spite? Then you have to explain any marks on your children that you didn’t put there. There’s just too much that can go wrong when you allow other people to discipline your children.
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I don’t believe in physical activity as a punishment. You are instilling at a young age that exercise is a negative thing.
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No spanking period there is no need for that. Have them sit on their bed for awhile
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It depends on the situation and age of the child. If the parents are around, absolutely not but if the child is staying with the family member and other discipline has failed then I would allow it but as you said only as a last resort. Maybe they should even call y’all and let you talk to the child about what they are getting in trouble for before they spank. Also, I would never allow spanking with anything other than the hand.
I’ve popped a view of my nephews on occasion, my son has been popped once or twice by his grandparents. It takes a village.
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I would say only mom and dad.
Although I will say I don’t agree with the physical training being used as a punishment. I wouldn’t want my child viewing working out as a punishment…
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Nope no one else and warn them you will call the police for assault if they do
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I trust the people who watch my son, so they are allowed to spank if necessary… I don’t have anyone watching him that I would need to fear “they might spank out of anger” or “they might spank for no reason”
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No way only you or father always was my rule no one could verbally discipline my child either tell me I handle it
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Grand parents only IF they are the day time caregivers while you work and ONLY in situations that you have discussed together. And the child is to know before hand they are allowed to and why
Definitely agree with you. Mom and Dad should be the sole disciplinarians and, if that’s done properly and consistently by you, when they act up with family members, just the threat to tell mom and dad about how they’re behaving should be enough to get them to straighten up.
No way. I’d tell your husband clearly your position. I’d let his family know in a polite way that if they ever touched your daughter that you’d call the authorities without a second thought. They have absolutely no right and you make this very clear to them!
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IF you give them permission. If you didn’t tell them they could it isn’t their place to discipline by spanking
No. If anyone puts their hands on my kids, Ill be doing the same x 10 to them. I wouldn’t allow it.
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I will personally punch anyone that spanks my child.
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If someone spanks my daughter they are going to catch a beating. Absolutely no one aside from my husband and myself is allowed to touch her
Anyone that attempts to spank my child is getting punched. Just sayin!
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Absolutely not. They’re not her parents, they should never be allowed to lay a harmful hand on her. Period.
I agree with you. It is your right to determine what forms of discipline are appropriate for other people to use on your child. I wouldn’t want anyone else spanking my child, that can damage a child’s trust in their caretaker if it is done incorrectly and it’s important that you have control over who is allowed to touch your child that way.
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If someone needs to spank my son it will be my husband and I. His grandma and others are welcome to take toys and to put in time out
Omg… I have never spanked any of my 30 grandchildren!! No one should spank another parents child… lines of communication has to be open
I was raised by a single mother and was watched by my extended family most of my formative years. I can count on one hand the number of times I remember being spanked and they didnt all come from my mom, but I deserved every single one. I learned to respect my entire family because of it, not just my parents. While my own kids didnt grow up around a lot of family as I did, they still knew that anyone could discipline if it was needed. They respect everyone as well, and it only took 1 spank from their great grandma for it to sink in. As with all things, you should make rules based on your own families boundaries, not based on what I or anyone else says here. I would rethink the physical punishment though…that can have far more lasting issues than 1 spank by an extended family member.
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I’m old school and it takes a village. If my child did something deemed worthy of spanking then do it. One spank, clothes stay on, etc. The only ones who would are close to us.
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I’m not comfortable with others physically disciplining my kids…
No way! If anyone, don’t care who they are spanked my daughter I’d never let them have her again!
I completely agree with you.
If anyone spanked my daughter, I’d be escorted from the premises in hand cuffs, after I pounce on their asses and beat them bloody! Wondering why I’m so violent? Potentially could’ve been all the traumatizing spanking I got as a kid 
THERE ARE BETTER MORE EFFECTIVE WAYS OF PUNISHING!!!
I swear if anyone laid a finger on my child that finger would be broken no one has the right to smack your child. Discipline is solely your and partners job and responsibility. And if the family are ok with smacking your child because dad said they could then I would be very concerned.
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I wouldn’t have an issue with my mom or dad doing it, as they would never do it inappropriately. They also spend as much time with my children as I do. Anyone else I would lose my mind. It’s not something any of us have had to do often… so it’s not an issue. With that being said, you and your husband really need to be on the same page and work on a compromise.
No. Absolutely not. I correct my children when they misbehave so no one else should ever feel the need to even raise their voice at my children. If there is a problem tell me, I’ll handle it but it’s not your place to even try. Especially if you don’t correct your own or others who bother mine.
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If someone is watching my children I feel they have the right to discipline my child the way they see fit, no tv, time out, etc but physically disciplining my children is not ok. Everyone’s level of anger is different and I would just not be ok with it. We have not truly spanked any of our children yet but we feel that is for extreme misbehaving and by us only.
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what does she even need to be “spanked” for. and hell no!
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If they keep her then yes. But not if she’s just visiting them every now and then.
Also matters how close the relationship is between them and her and you as well. And the biggest factor to me is the reason for the spanking.
I keep my nieces toddler six days a week and I spank her. She’s like mine though.
never … nobody but me or my husband ever laid a finger on my kids… my kids screw up when im not around u put them in time out and tell me when i get there… they do it when i am there you come tell me and i will deal with it… i made it very clear to everyone i dont care who u are… you touch my child IM GUNNA TOUCH YOU!!
The only other people who spank my children is those that they are around a lot & that babysit them. I trust those.
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Whoa whoa whoa. Absolutely not. No one should out their hands on your children and he shoukd respect how you want to parent. You are a team now. Make compromises but if you dont want to spank then he should respect that. There are tons if ways to discipline without hitting that are effective. Spanking isnt even effective.
i if anybody its my family without permission. if anybody else i give permission as a last resort .if dont listen for the spanking. ive done corners bedroom i cant do bedroom because they go in there and fall asleep. so its corner or spanking or sitting on the couch.
I think it depends on how trustworthy those aunts and uncles are and how you feel. One of my sisters, a spanking wouldn’t be a big deal because she’d feel horrible doing it lol. My other sister, however, is not allowed to discipline my son because we can’t trust her or her anger, and if she so much as tries, it’ll be a problem. If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s OK, what you say should go, but I firmly believe that it takes a village to raise a child.
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It depends on the dynamic. My mom was/is allowed to spank my son. He’s 9 and I’m pretty sure she only spanked him 2-3 times. I was also a single mom for most of his life and my mom has spent a huge amount of time watching him while I’ve worked.
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Nope!!! No one will spank my child but me and my husband as a complete last resort!! People in my family don’t see it that way and did you me out of anger!! It kinda traumatized me!!
If that’s how you feel then you have every right to enforce it. I’m very selective about who watches my daughter so I don’t necessarily have a problem if she gets a spanking because I know in my heart they wouldn’t ever hurt her. Just enough to enforce “no” when she’s blatantly acting up.
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My sisters and parents were free to discipline but don’t think they ever spanked my two. Both knew they could however
I mean my parents told anyone that watched my sisters and I to whip our asses if we misbehaved 
lol but now that I’m a mother I don’t allow anyone to punish my kids unless I’m not there. I have a semi-nonverbal autistic son and spankings only make the meltdowns worse.
I didn’t even read the post, just the question… and the answer is NO.
No. If you hit my child, I will bit you.
I think in the year that me and my husband have been together my daughter has gotten spanked once out of everyone. After several time outs and telling her no she still was killing the goldfish. But in the same line he has grandchildren and no one is allowed to even tell them no. Ya I only watch them one at a time. I called him and told him they are out in the road what do u use to get them out. My kids would have gotten told no followed by a spanking the 4th time. Response was they will be ok just let them. That was the last time I watched those two together
My mother, best friend, brothers and sisters are the only ones allowed to spank my children. My belief in discipline is the same as yours. I trust my family whole heartedly. My best friend and I have children by the same man and we raise all of our children together. My family is aware of how I discipline and respect that when watching my child. If you’re uncomfortable with anyone but you and your husband spanking then he should respect your decision.
Nope I believe only parents should discipline, I think relatives can give time out, or other forms of discipline. But if someone else spanked my kid I’ll be angry!!
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It’s really how comfortable you are with those people. If they are babysitting over night or for a long period of time, how would you like them to discipline your child? You’re comfortable enough to leave your child there, but if your child is acting up, you’re not comfortable enough for them to discipline the child? I think it’s a little bit contradicting, but it’s your family and your child.
Just my thoughts on this…if you spank a child. How are you showing that child not to hit. If your hitting your child? There are other ways of discipline besides spanking your child.
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Nope nobody will smack my children! Grandparents, aunts, uncles,cousins, friends,etc do not have the right to smack on YOUR children. I Discipline my children when we’re at someone else house, My parents are the only ones other then me that Discipline my children…
My kids are 20 and 27 now. I have a 2 year old granddaughter now. I can count on 2 hands for each of my kids the number of times I laid hands on them to cast out the demons (not talking about a quick swat on the butt, but actual spankings) my rule was I never left my kids with anyone that I didn’t completely trust with discipline. My second rule was in someone else’s house their rules apply, so I made sure I only left them with people whose parenting style agreed with mine. Same with watching someone else’s kids. Parents understood if I felt a spanking was warranted they would get it. (I never spanked anyone else’s kids, they knew the possibility was there and were always well behaved).
You can’t trust someone enough to leave your child with them and then not trust them to gauge discipline. That’s not the way it works. No one who ever watched my kids ever spanked them either… But the option was available if it was warranted.
No. No one hits my child or anyone elses.
When it comes to my children my rule of thumb is if I trust you enough to keep them alone without me or their father then I trust you to follow my rules and discipline properly. Yes my parents and my sister have spanked my son but they talk and timeout before spanking. They never have to spank him. But how can I trust them to keep my child without me around if I dont trust them to discipline. My thoughts.
It would depend on what led up to the spanking and if other options were tried first I wouldnt expect my family to watch my kid and not be allowed to discipline them and they’re the same with me watching their kids they know if it comes to that it was well deserved
Please don’t ever spank your kid, or allow anyone else to! It is illegal in 54 countries for a reason.
50 years of research has proven that spanking causes psychological damage. It leads to trust issues with the parent/child relationship, proven to cause mental health issues, a higher crime rate, drug addiction, anxiety, depression, suicides, lower IQ scores, literally reduced grey matter in the brain, and aggression and anger issues when the child is grown.
Spanking is extremely ineffective. Sure it gets immediate results of compliance but what it also does is teach the child that stress and emotion should be met with aggression, that they should be more sneaky so as not to get caught, that they should strive to “do good” out of fear of getting hurt and not on their own accord, and that they can’t rely on their parent in a time of need since they should be feared. I can recall in my own childhood where I put myself in a few dangerous situations where I could’ve died or had something bad happen all because I was too afraid to call my mother for help.
There are so many more effective and less damaging ways to to discipline and I urge you, to look into gentle parenting practices for your child’s sake.
Here’s some of the research that proves what I said above:
“spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse”
…
“Gershoff and Grogan-Kaylor tested for some long-term effects among adults who were spanked as children. The more they were spanked, the more likely they were to exhibit anti-social behavior and to experience mental health problems. “
20 years of research proving that “studies found a link between physical punishment and child aggression, delinquency and spousal assault in later life.”
“spanking is related to an increased likelihood of many poor health, social and developmental outcomes. These poor outcomes include health problems, substance use, suicide attempts and physical health conditions along with developmental, behavioural, social and cognitive problems.”
“There appears to be a linear association between the frequency of slapping and spanking during childhood and a lifetime prevalence of anxiety disorder, alcohol abuse or dependence and externalizing problems”
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If that’s how you feel, then tell them. If you feel that they can use it appropriately, and with a warning, only in life or death situations (ie if you go in the street you could get very hurt and I’ll have to spank you, then they do it anyway, ok), then give them that permission but only under those circumstances. Either way, I don’t think, as long as you’ve given them SOME options for discipline, that you’re being unreasonable. Now the people who are like “we don’t say no to suzie, only use positive language and guide her, but never correct her”, deserve to be beat with a belt. That would be unreasonable, because you’ve given them basically no way of correcting your child. That’s not what you’re saying. I just needed a moment to throw those people under the bus. lol
You and your husband do need to get on the same page with discipline though.
My family is free to discipline but they know they are never to lay hands on them that’s mine and my husbands decision
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No one should be hitting children. Period
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Absoloutely not, anyone who wanted to beat/hurt my child wouldn’t be allowed around them, my child isn’t your victim 
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NOOOOOO! No one will put their hands on my child. Like you said there are other ways of discipline.
I lived with my sister as a live in nanny per say for 2 years. I only spanked the oldest once.
A light tap on the butt usually does it for most children if we are being honest.
I have told my friend, who I live with and has a 2 year old, that if he just comes up and hits me I am going to smack his hand. He knows right from wrong and his parents do get on him about hitting, but again, he is only 2 and not every hit can be accounted for.
Spanking someone else’s child is not okay. Smacking hands when needed I believe is okay.
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Spanking is so odd. In any other context it’s completely unacceptable. If someone said: “My wife wouldnt listen to me so I smacked her to teach her to listen” you’d be calling the police immediately. Why is it any different for a little person that’s barely beginning to understand how to behave? Are you not an adult capable of communicating verbally?
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Absolutely not…that kind of discipline is for the parents only. I made that mistake with my exes sisters and she ended up going overboard and calling it discipline
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I don’t let anyone spank my daughter but me. If you’re not comfortable with it, tell him no
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Your child your choice. If they’re misbehaving talk about respectable punishment. Personally I’m ok with pops from the female family members but not the males bc males can hit much harder than females. I’ve never had that become an issue but still.
Family can punish them but as whipping no that is for the mother and father only
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How often do they have them? If it’s just occasionally, no they shouldn’t. My mom will discipline my kids just as my husband or I will. She keeps them everyday after school while my husband and I are at work.
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No other family members should spank your child. It is YOUR child. Discipline comes from the parent. I tell my grandchildren certain things are not allowed but if there is physical punishment to be given out, that is the parent’s decision. Only had one issue with my kids and let the family member know that it’s MY job to hand out physical discipline. No more trouble after that.
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No one but you and your husband should discipline your child and if the kid isnt with you but other family they should contact you on what to do or have a written out what to do.
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If you need to hit your kids to make them behave and become decent adults, you’re doing it wrong.
“hitting is wrong”
“oh except when small children don’t listen to me , then its ok”
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NO!!! I don’t spank my own children and it’s actually proven to be a completely useless form of discipline. Find a way that is constructive.
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That’s right only the parent have that right anyone else hit my kid I hit them not even schools
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Nope, no way…I’d never let someone else spank my kids. Unless you know for a fact they won’t take it too far or use it on anger.
No one should hit a kid.
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I don’t really like spanking and I’ve seen personally it doesn’t really work, at least in our home, but I do think, few and far between, a situation pops up where they warrant a swat or 2 on the butt, a smack to the back of the hand, whatever. If they do something dangerous like running into the street, yes I will smack their butt and then we talk about it. But I will also say, i treat every kid I’m around pretty equally🤷‍♀️ when my sister’s or my best friends kids are around, yes I do discipline them! They typically don’t listen to their parents very well anyways so I usually give them a chance but if the child is still being defiant or whatever I let them know that now Aunt Jess is involved and if you don’t stop, or whatever, there will be a punishment, and I do follow through! But hitting is not my go to. But that’s not to say that I haven’t spanked my nieces and nephews🤷‍♀️ It depends, and it’s more situational so the way you just asked it idk how to answer. It kind of sounds like you and your partner really need to sit down and discuss your parenting goals because you don’t seem to be in the same book, none the less on the same page. Family won’t be around your child all day, everyday, but y’all will and you have to be a United front, as far as your kids see at least, because from experience, if they see your not they use that shit! Maybe he needs some parenting classes or child development classes. If classes aren’t an option then he should read some books. Once I understood the science behind these things, why children do things they do, what children REALLY need from their parents… my ENTIRE LIFE HAS CHANGED! And I’m in no way knocking y’all as parents, a lot of us just aren’t taught these things and I truly did think I WAS doing the best I could… but I WAS NOT! I still struggle today with my temper, with patience, a lot of things really, but I’m working on it everyday and So that means that NOW I’M DOING THE BEST I CAN!
Depends on age of child what spanking is for. Example tottler keeps touching something that could hurt them pop that butt. 8 year old steals something or is misbehaving tell mom and /or dad .
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I have five children three of them have never been smacked two of them I have worked their ass all different cans they’re all different all different personalities but if someone else touch my children oh no they would rather smack their mother across the face not having itThey’re all grown now and I watch my grandkids all the time and I would never smack one of them ever let mom and dad’s only
I’m not comfortable with it but I also don’t need to spank my children. As for discipline in general… I’m happy to have anyone help me and back me up.
I was spanked turned out fine but hey go let your kid misbehave because you can’t let other people swat there but too each there own! You know you could just her sit in a corner like Normal child 
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I would only let me or her dad do it.
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I’ll let grandma or grandpa spank. Especially if needed. Plus, it kinda means more when they do it. The child will likely learn more from that than if you did it.
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I agree with you Nobody else should be able to spank your child
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I personally believe in spankins, but they should respect you and your beliefs. They should not spank them, they are your child not theirs. There are definitely other forms of punishment they can use if it gets taken to that level.
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I only have my husband or myself spank my daughter. She’s never not around us, so if someone thinks she needs to get her butt smacked they need to tell us what happened, like if we were in a different room. But no one else will spank my kid
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No one will pay a hand on my child !!! Last resort and it def will not be at the hands of someone else!!!
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Don’t ever ask any of them to watch your goblins then 🤷 also, grow up.