Do what you want with your family don’t let anyone tell you what you can or can’t do
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There is so many broken families now days. Children have five Gramps and so on. What we need to remember is. For one The more people that loves our children the better. And this is a child’s party. If a adult can not put all the differences a side for the children then the adult NEEDS to stay home. Invite the whole town don’t leave anyone out. And let them be adults.
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If I’m school invite the whole class
Let your Dad go. It’s your choice who you invite. It’s for your child
I would invite whoever you want to invite. Do not let other people dictate that.
Your adoptive parents sound like assholes tbh
I lived my whole life watching my family refuse to come to things for me because my other family members would be there. Including my baby shower. And it has always made me really depressed, they made me feel like I had to choose which side I wanted to celebrate pieces of my life with. Which is unfair to do to a child. Do not let others decide who matters to you and your kids. Invite him, because you want to and they want him there. If others don’t show up because of it that’s on them, not you. If they are too immature to just show up for your kids they have issues.
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YOUR kids, YOUR choice.
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Your adoptive parents need to grow tf up.
Unless they’re paying for the party, invite whomever.
How abt this, invite them all and just don’t mention who is coming.
They can either be adults or not. The choice is theirs.
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You should probably stop caring about your adoptive parents. You’ve made it clear that they’re assholes, therefore they don’t deserve to be around your kids in the first place. Invite your biological dad.
If your dad is clean, on the up & up, respectful to you, your SO & your kids invite him! Your adopted parents will have to either learn to be adults, give him a chance or not come.
I get they’re trying to protect you from getting hurt but your an adult now. It will get heated when you have this conversation with them. Stay positive & respectful but firm when you let them know. If they choose not to come the only person they are hurting is your son.
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Invite your dad if that’s what your son wants.
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Sounds like the adoptive parents need to grow the f up. You and your family are not their property
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Invite whoever YOU want. If anyone has a problem they shouldn’t come.
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I would invite your dad as it’s your dad and explain to your other family why and that you want to get to no him after all he is your dad and you need to get to no each other all over again xx
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You said it yourself you were just part of the package why do you care about how they feel clearly they don’t care how you feel
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Invite whoever you want and if someone doesn’t come because they can’t be an adult for a few hour that’s on them. It’s about the child and nobody else
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Invite whoever you want to your kids birthday party. My parents don’t really get along and they make it obvious but my daughters birthday is not about them, it’s about her. They better put that crap aside for ONE DAY. It won’t kill them to be civil. It really hurt me growing up that they were like that and I’m not doing that to my kids. Their issues are their issues alone and they need to shut it down for my kids. So far they have been able to do that and are actually even able to have conversations with one another. I would stand up to your adoptive parents because they aren’t putting anyone but themselves first and that’s disgusting and selfish.
If they cant put there feeling aside for your sons birthday have a birthday dinner the night b4 his birthday party n say too them if u would like too come tomorrow we would love u all too be there n i love u all so much for adopting n looking after me for all theses years but my biologically dad will be at his grand son birthday tomorrow but i truely sorry n i will be sad if you all arent here for your grand sons birthday as well … good luck 
invite whom ever you like just because they adopted you doesnt give them the right to tell you who to invite invite your father if they don,t like it tell them to get over themselfs it,s not about you,
Talk with your adoptive parents about love and forgiveness. Then invite who you want, they will get the picture.
It’s your kids party, you have the right to choose who you want to be invited.
Invite him if your adoptive parents want to be selfish and not come because of there dislike for someone that is their problem they don’t need to talk to your dad they are all there for your son. Just because they don’t like him doesn’t mean they can’t be civil. Seems to me they need to be more mature in situation I don’t like my nephews dad but it wouldn’t stop me from going to my nephews party I just wouldn’t speak to his dad but I wouldn’t be rude if he tried to talk to me.
Invite him
Your children your choice.
Invite your dad and stop letting them dictate yours and your children’s lives. If they don’t like it they shouldn’t be involved anyways at that point. No need to do as they say since you’re a grown ass person plus they made it clear that they only took you because you were part of the package so I’d say eff them if they really have an issue with you inviting their grandpa or anyone else
Your choice who to invite. If your adoptive parents love you and yours, they will come and not make you choose.
Invite your father and not your adoptive parents. You are an adult and you make the decision to invite who you want not them. It sounds like your adoptive parents didn’t want you but had no choice to take you in, they might have given you a permanent home but actual love.
I would talk to your father about it. See what he thinks and if he would be comfortable in that situation, if your adopted parents get a bit sticky about it. Potentially find an inbetween that may work for everyone.
Its your child’s birthday. If your child wants your biological dad there- invite him. It’s not a party for your adoptive parents. If they wont come to their grandchild birthday because your bio dad is there then it speaks volumes about them. Its very selfish of them to try and control you like that. You’ve been letting them for far too long. Do what’s best for you and your children because thats what your life is about now- not your parents.
I say invite who you choose to invite, don’t share the guest list with anyone and expect everyone to act like adults. Fast forward to the next birthday- you will know who to invite and who not to invite.
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I would just explain to adoptive parents that you want your children to have love of all your family this not only includes them but anyone else you find fit to be in their lives and if they dont like it or agree with it that’s fine the choice is always theirs if they want to choose to stop being involved but it wont only hurt them their choice will affect the children so suck it up buttercup and think about what’s best for the kids
I completely get why you are asking this my husband has a foster brother who we consider just as mucha part of the family he sees both families biological and our family. His kids are my nieces and nephew it shows your kids that your a stronger person and as long as your dad is proofing himself then that’s the adoptive families loss if they choose not to show
Sounds like a control thing ,step away
I believe it’s your life ,your choice . Do what is right for you and your children . Grandpa should part of children’s life and if they wish to be a part cause you and kids matter to them they will and if not we’ll it speaks volumes . Be happy and be true to yourself
Okay first if I am going to be the only one who might suggest therapy as you seem to need it from some of your statements. Secondly invite whomever loves you and your children and if that makes your adoptive parents uncomfortable then so be it. They cannot erase your dna or past.
Family are the people who treat you like family. Its your kids birthday party invite who ever the hell you want. Anyone who doesn’t show up screw them. If they are really family they would come no matter who is there.
You are an adult I know you are thankful for your adoptive parents you do have a biological dad wanting contact. Do what you want get over it
If they choose not to come that’s on them…if they can’t be adults and have your son’s happiness and family time together for him that’s selfish and childish…it’s your son’s party not theirs…do what makes him happy and will give him happy memories
I can certainly understand you wanting to try to please everyone, but that is sometimes impossible and it’s not fair to you or your own kids to have to choose, your adoptive family at this point in life will need to just realize that you are an adult and your own person. If the party is at your own home and you have spent your own money it’s your business who you invite
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I say you do what you feel in your heart. But I also wouldn’t let my adoptive parents control what you do or who you have around your children if they’re not hurting them or bad for their life.
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Invite whom ever you want I would not even tell them whom I am inviting considering you are the host.
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I think you should invite whoever you want. It’s not your adopted parents party or there kids. Also your still inviting them and your not pushing them out of the way now because you talk to your Dad
I think that you should be able to invite whoever is important to your kids. I work for a foster adoption agency and I know biological connections are very important.
Don’t let those petty adults dictate whom you care for.
Invite him life is to short. You do not need the pettiness of people who dictate to you who can and can not come to your house. Your adoptive parents should be thrilled you have your father in your life. Enjoy your sons birthday!
I don’t think you should let them control, however your a mom and you know the love for a child. I’m also adopted and when you have that love but also carry the pain that she knew you were going thru is not easy. It is hard to watch her being with people that hurt you. It’s an emotional mess. Talk with your mom. Give thanks to her and reassure her that you are her child
I’ve always told my children, it’s your job to extend the open door. It’s their job to walk through it. How they choose to receive the invite is on them, you’ve done your part to welcome all.
Do what u feel is right it doesnt matter what other say in the end u have to be true to yourself and you have to do what u feel is right, just remember there will always be some you cant please
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Your children your decision. Do what you feel is right. Your children have a right to know their biological family too. As for your adoptive parents they have no control anymore.
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Control = manipulation and emotional abuse. It is THEIR choice to come, or not, and shouldn’t have any bearing on who you invite.
Why are they controlling you and who you have around your children? Don’t allow it. If you feel obligated to tell them who will and will not be celebrating with you and your children they can choose not to attend. You’re a grown woman at this point I’m guessing so do what’s best for your children.
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You stated “My adoptive parents always made it clear that I was just part of the package so they could get my younger siblings.” If that is the family dynamic you have with your adoptive parents why in the world are you letting them dictate anything to you?
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You need to do what you feel is right. Your bio dad is your dad and has a right to know you and the kids.
Ask your children who they want at THEIR party. Invite those people and if some want to be asses and not show because of someone else then so be it. Geeze, you sure put up with a lot. You know you can cut people out of your life if all they bring is conflict. Best of luck
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You invite who you want to invite. It’s for the child. If they can’t put their selfish crap away for ONE DAY that’s not on you nor for you to carry.
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Hes your child a d your bio dad. Do what you feel is right! Dont let your afoptive parents be bitter because youre trying to form a relationship with your dad. And dont feel like just because they adopted you that you owe them something.
so how I do birthday parties as I invite whoever I want to come to the birthday party and I say if you don’t like who’s coming then you can keep my mouth shut or don’t show up he’s your father and their grandfather so he has more of a right to be there then anybody even if your adopted parents don’t want him there they should be happy that he is there
It’s yours kids don’t let anyone decide who comes but you…
Tell them you are part of a package deal. If they choose to come or not-it is their choice. It is your life
You are the adult , you call the shots.
I have somewhat of a similar situation. Invite everyone you want to. If you think it will cause a fight then tell which ever side that so in so will be there and you dont want any drama. ( make it sound nicer. Lol ) Tell them you would love for them to be there. If they can’t show up and be an adult about it then it is on them. You have the right to invite who you want. Don’t cut someone out of your life because of someone else’s feelings.
Okay answer this question for yourself. Do you want the adoptive family to actually control your life and your kids? Or do you want your kids to see you be the hero you already are and live life for you and them only? I personally would chose option two. But that’s me.
Your kids. You get to say.
Your children, your decision…simple as that 
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You have a right to invite who you want. They have a right to bow out.
Btw, you’re better off if they do…
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Don’t let anyone control your life sweetie. If they can’t be nice don’t invite them. If you want your bio dad there, do it. 
If your child wants him there then invite him.
Your choice now…follow your heart…if others have a problem. It’s their problem. Not yours
I think you know the right answer here
Ask your son and invite who your son wants there. If your adoptive parents cant be mature enough and show enough love to come if you invite your Father, well thats their issue not your of your sons. You are grown and your life, decisions and all are yours now!
Invite whomever you like
Thats right invite him
More the merrier. Invite him!