if your father is trying and ur kids accepted him please give him a chance sometimes its better late then never he was younger back then sounds to me he had regrets and is tryng to make up the lost time at least he is in your kids life im sorry id invite him let your adopted parents know he is coming that way they can decide whether your son important enough to be there cause in reality its about the child not them 🤷
Your heart knows the answer. Yes, invite him.
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He’s your son. You are the one throwing the party and paying for it. So you get to make the guest list not anyone else.
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Nope they don’t need to come then. They are guests just as much of anyone u invite . Unless u live with them
invite your dad… its YOUR childs birthday and YOUR father… they can just deal with it
I just met my bio family too. I would pick the one who is being supportive and loving. The adoptive parents don’t seem to want to grow up and see that your bio dad is a good person and needs to be added to your family. My adoptive mom always knew I would find my bio nom and has been nothing but supportive through this with me. I think you know what you need to do.
I’m sorry you are a grown women/man now. YOU and you ONLY make decisions in your life now EXPECIALLY when it comes.to YOUR KIDS. If they don’t come screw them its their loss. They are control freaks. Only allow people who truly love you in your life
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Invite your dad. Dont tell your adoptive parents until they arrive that your dad may pop in. Things have a way of just working themselves out
People can be toxic even if they are family. You don’t need toxic people. If they decide not to come because of who you invited, that’s their loss.
Let him come. Your an adult. You are your own person don’t let others run YOUR life. Specially not your child’s life. Your the mother.
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It’s your child party, you can invite whoever you want! My mom is very immature and tried to pick a fight with my old friend at one of my daughters birthday parties and I made my mom leave. Do not come to my child party and think your going to control anything. Same with this past year we had a little get together for my daughters birthday at my in laws and they had a problem I invited my mother and sister to MY child’s party. And I told them if they were going to have attitudes I’ll take my daughter home and have a party there with my family. Don’t let others control you especially over your child!
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Invite who you want. The real ones, the people who really love your kids will be there. The fake ones wont go. Toxic family is worse than not having a family at all.
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Invite him. Anyone who LOVES you and your children will be understanding and set aside whatever personal feelings they have about it.
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Invite everyone you want there you have no obligation to tell anyone who else will be there let everyone show up and if there is an issue with who’s there the ones who have the issue can either stay and act like adults or leave but if they are going to walk out on the kids party they need to realize that means they are completely taking themselves out of y’all’s lives for good
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I’ve always invited everyone I want to my kids parties and make it very clear either they get along or they are cut out of our lives forever
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Control your sons birthday the way you want.
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Well first off it’s YOUR CHILDS BIRTHDAY! Who cares what anyone else decides. You invite who you want there. The people that will make the birthday better. Not the people that cause problems. If you and your child want your dad to be there, and the adoptive parents want to be childish and not go because of your dad being there? That sucks for them. I’m adopted also. If my adoptive parents would have been like this, I’d have cut them off a long time ago.
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Is it your house ? Invite whomever you want … if they don’t like it tough shit
I wouldn’t let anyone tell me who I can and cannot invite to a party that I am hosting a paying for if they are not contributing financially to the party. Tell them to stay home. They can either play well with everyone to keep themselves at home.
I wouldn’t let anyone control me that was upfront with me about not wanting me. How awful.
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If they have been rude to you and your just a package deal to them and basically saying they didn’t want you do NOT let them dictate your life in anyway! If they choose not to come that’s their choice and loss
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Adoptive parents took you out of foster homes, they know your past life. Your Dad did not step up and take care of you when your mother was a loss as a parent. I understand their point. Ask your son who he wants to come. Then not on you and no line in the sand. His party and his choice. List the names and ask yes or no. If he chooses no to your Dad then invite him over for the next day. I am sure he will understand after all you have gone through. He is lucky you have accepted him back in your life. That is what I would do some might disagree though.
Only the child involved and the child’s parents should have a say in who they invite.
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Invite him and dont say anything to your adoptive parents, they’ll either ignore it or leave either way they are grown people and should act it. I delt with similar issues with my adoptive family, but my bio family was still in a bad place and has never tried to better themselves, no clue about my dad or his side.
Invite whomever you want. Your kids, your party, your guest list. My MIL recently decided to skip my son’s birthday party that my husband and I threw because it was mainly my son’s friends and didn’t include my husband’s extended family (not enough space in our house for another 15 people). She threw him a separate gathering at her house. If you’re paying for the party and it’s your child, then it’s your right. Your adoptive parents don’t sound like very nice people, if they in fact actually told you that they only adopted you to get your younger siblings.
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Uh no. I invite people that care about them, and are also close to them/see them regularly. I don’t invite their great aunts or second cousins or anything like that simply because they don’t ever see them, and I don’t have the capacity to host that many people. But I invite those that are close to them on a daily/weekly basis and that make an effort to see/ask about them regularly. But WE decide. They’re our kids and it’s our house.
Invite who you want hun, they’re your kids. As they become teens and adults it will be up to them to invite who they want, but you’re an adult now, it’s not up to your parents anymore.
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How is this a question your children your decisions . You invite who you want they don’t control you Anymore your an adult I hope everything works out for you!
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Eff your adoptive parents.It’s your life,and your kids.It sounds like you bio dad is a good guy.
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Your kids, your party. Your guest list. Period.
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Your son deserves to have all his family in his life and at his birthday party. As grown “adults” your adoptive parents should be mature enough to do what is in your sons best interest. In the end, you cannot control your adoptive parents behaviors…nor should you feel guilty for putting your child first… I vote for inviting his grandfather (your father) and letting your adoptive parents decide their own maturity level.
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I would invite him. It sounds like he cares for you more than himself unlike the adoptive parents. They only care about how they feel
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Other people should not control your guest list, NO MATTER WHO THEY ARE. In my own family, this “competition” got so bad that my brother wouldn’t come if my sister was there, and vice versa. Mom finally disallowed anyone from knowing the guest list. If they want to come, fine, they come. If they don’t want to come, fine, don’t come. You don’t attend someone else’s event and control the guest list. They either want to be there FOR THE CHILD or not. Let them decide that much, and that much only. Good luck!
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Fuck no! Those are your kids! Let the adoptive parents stay home! Let them know they’re not really a part of the parent package this time
Invite him and whoever else you want .it’s their problem if they don’t show up not yours .live your life the way you feel comfortable with .nobody deserves to be treated the way you have been .best of luck with it all
See if you can preempt your adoptive parents bad behavior for the party - say something like: mom and dad or whatever you call them - I hope you will come you’re very important to me and your grandchildren but I wanted you to have a heads up that John (or whatever bio dads name is) is also coming. We’ve become close and it’s been great having all of this parental support in my life… or something like that. You want to be mindful of not seeming that you’re picking a side rather you are increasing the circle of support. Is your bio dad also your younger sibs bio dad?
You invite whoever you want to, if they don’t come fuck’em
If they don’t show up due to whom you’ve invited,then they don’t really care about you or your child. I went through this with two of my marriages. My parents don’t talk to my dad’s side of the family. So my first marriage, my dad’s side didn’t come because I told them they couldn’t and i had SO much regret. And then my second marriage, I invited everyone i wanted there and had to have my wedding without my parents because his side of the family came. No guilt by me whatsoever. If I wasn’t important enough for them to just be nice for a day and show up, then i know where I stand in their lives. Same with the kids. I invite anyone I want to invite to my daughter’s birthdays. If you show up, you care. It makes it real easy to figure out who’s family and who isn’t. Don’t let others Stan in the way of time you have left with people you care about. You will regret it one day.
You are an adult.dont.let others rain on your parade.incite who you want and if someone is so pathetic that they say they wont come if that person is invited then thats their decision
Invite him. They are toxic if they have an issue.
Seeing as they have told you that you were only adopted because of you sister from what you stated. Should you really care what they think?
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You need to make sure they know no one is gonna take their place that you will always love them but that your dad is trying to show you that he want to be in her life.so why not just get along with him and don’t make her feel like she got to choose between you and him. No one will know the outcome. So like they say don’t rock the boat
As someone who’s been adopted too. Invite your dad. If they don’t show up it’s on them. Might be the best thing you ever do.
You are the mother and you have a right to have who ever you want at the party. Your foster parents need to get over it and except your dad. Your an adult and your paying for the party. Happy BIRTHDAY to your son
invite him and quit telling anyone who is on the guest list.
You invite your dad.
It is your sons party. You invite who you want. If they have always made you feel like you were only adopted so they could get your siblings then you dont need to concern yourself with how they feel.
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You are a grown woman now and these are you children and if your adoptive parents truly love you and your children they will accept the fact of your biological dad being there and being a part of your and your childrens lives. It’s not up to them anymore sweetie - yes they loved you enough to adopt but to try and keep you away from bio family is wrong - this is your blood line and you have had contact with him for several months and feel comfortable with him - you know what your gut and heart want go with it and let the chips fall where they may - this isn’t a competition just more people to love. Good luck sweetie and Happy Birthday to your little one.
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Your child your choice! They dont like it then they dont come! They are being petty!
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If they get mad at you CUT them off! They’re obviously not thinking about your happiness!!
I say invite your dad if adoptive parents don’t come because of it that’s on them
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Invite who you and your child want to invite. It’s his party, not theirs.
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At parties, i make it clear that if you cant be civil during my childs birthday, then you dont need to come. If you come and something starts, both people will be asked to leave. The party is for the child and if you cant get along for the child, then you don’t need to be there at all.
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Your kid, your party, your rules.
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You said two younger siblings. If they are planing on bringing them then yes I can see why they would say they won’t come. If your bio dad is also their dad. Those children will have to make a choice when they are old enough to make contact, you can’t decide that for them.
Invite who you want to be there. Everyone makes their own decisions of where they want to be. Live your life without regrets.
Ur adoptive parents love u also, their feelings are important. Have a party for each side of ur family. Ur child love them both
You invite your dad if they have a problem it us on them not you when they adopted you they new one day your bio family would come look for you and they took that chance so now let your dad see the family that took you in so he can thank them you got this it takes a village to raise a child so bring your village together l say this to you as l am raising a little one and one day he will know l am not his bio mom but the mom that raised him and if he wants to find bio mom l will be right there with him every step of the way so extend your invite to your dad and let your children decide it is there birthday not your adoptive parents your dad may of had his decision on why he was not present than but wants to now so give him a chance to LOVE you and your children good luck momma
Invite who you want. Whoever chooses to shoe or not, they own their own choices. You own yours.
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Send out the invitations and whoever shows up shows up. And if your adoptive parents don’t like that too bad. It’s their issues not yours. If they can’t make room for everyone that’s their problem. My ex and I make it for the kids and we get along for them just fine. We are cordial to each other and that’s what counts. Family is family no matter what happened in the past
It’s your party I’m assuming you are grown then do what makes YOU happy not everyone else
I have had to deal with with a similar situation with my grandma and my daughters father he was recently kicked out of the home we lived with my grandparents well he got kicked out and we had no place to go so i kept myself and my daughter at the home well since then she refuses to be anywhere he is he missed her school performance due to my grandma wanting to go he didnt want to have any issues so he stayed away and she refused to come to our Daughters birthday party cu he would be there he helped pay for it so yeah he was there so she didnt go and that was that if they wanna be petty and make it a problem then they can stay away
It’s your life not theirs. Don’t let them dictate how you celebrate with your children
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Even as an adult, you have the right to know your biological parents without fear of the step in families bringing guilt in your home, even if it is your subconscious. Your step family should be supporting you 100%. This is about you & your children. Not them.
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There is no choosing sides. You do what you want to do for your family and then the others can decide if they want to be apart of it or not. You are not responsible for the choices grown ass adults make. If they love you and your children they will be there.
Invite him. If they force you to choose…that’s a shitty act on their part sweetie.
You’re not the one who is choosing the adoptive parents are adults, correct so if they are choosing to be childish then they are making their own decisions. If they cannot embrace the beauty of another person loving you and your boys then let them know they are welcome to the party but it is ultimately your decision as to who your child has contact with.
Don’t feel guilty for living your best life. The Family you came from is important but so is the one you create.
I would just send out the invites… if they both come they both come if your adoptive parents cant handle it then they must not understand what it means to you … and you need to let them know that just because he is in your life dont change the fact that they are still your parents … you have the right to get to know him if this is what you wish … your an adult now with your own children
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Invite your dad.
Don’t tell the adoptive parents
Invite him ur adoptive parents knw this day would come do they need to grow up and act like civil ppl…Dnt knw ur story but ur an adult now do what u feel is right!
invite who you want to invite. you aren’t obligated to tell them who will be there. and if they don’t like who is there when they get there can leave
Invite him… What a blessing he came around… Better late than never. People make mistakes:cupid:
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Invite your dad all parties should act like adults and share you and your kids let them decide if they choose no to come
I would do 2 bday partys one for your adoptive side then one your your bio side
I have foster kids and we are adopting, having their biological family involved is very important. stopping you from having that contact stops you from knowing who you are. my suggestion is invite your dad. if your adoptive parents don’t come they are not doing right by you.
You should never have to choose your adopted parents should understand you want a relationship with your father they should grow up and put selfish feelings aside for your happiness
Invite him. Don’t tell you adoptive parents he’s going. Then introduce them mid party and .and it clear who the boss is.
THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN. Only you and their father call the shots.
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I would just tell them not to come it’s up to u who u invite to your child’s party not them and if they don’t like it then they don’t come end of x
Totally up to you. If they choose to miss out over such pretty crap then they can miss out. It is your childs birthday not their child’s. You definitely decide who will and won’t be there. My bio mum said to me if i ever get married she won’t be there if my dad is. Guess she will miss out then. Sad but true these type of people are just selfish insecure individuals.
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Invite who you want. If they don’t come that’s on them not you.
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I have new inlaws and there was already drama. Here’s my answer… I’m inviting everyone! We are neutral in this home and we are adults, behave accordingly! If you choose not to come be aware I only extend invitations 3 times. After that I dont invite anymore.
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Neither parents should control yours or your kids life. If your son wants your bio dad to come then invite him. If you adoptive parents leave or don’t come then it’s on them. Sounds to me like your adoptive parents don’t really care and I’m sorry for that.
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Invite him. It’s your child’s birthday party. If your son wants him there then invite him. If the adoptive parents want to be selfish then they miss out.
Dont tell them you invited him, and do it anyway
You already know the answer!
Have fun at the party!!
Been in your situation. Bro was son they never had
I say invite who you want to. If your adoptive parents (who first of all sound like dicks) dont show up, it’s their loss. If they care they’ll get over it and show up if not then your kid will still have a blast
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If you’re paying for the party, invite who you want. It’s they’d problem not yours
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Sounds like your adopted parents only tolerate you because they wanted your younger siblings, I don’t think you owe them anything…
Nope my friend is helping me plan but that’s one reason my birth mom isnt coming she tried dictating who came to my sons birth and then my daughters. Needless to say she wasnt at either of there partys and wasnt allowed without supervision at the hospital by a person I trusted
My kid my rules. If they don’t like someone who’s invited to my kids birthday they can either A) be childish and not attend or B) grow the hell up and be civil for a few hours for the child’s sake. Their supposed to be adults ffs. They should act like one.
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It’s your child so it’s up to you
If your adoptive parents can’t put their pride aside then good riddance
It’s about the child not them
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Let your child make the guest list! Hv them fill out the invites
It’s your kid if they want your dad there fuck your adopted parents
If they made it clear they only got you for your siblings don’t try to please them
That is just one more person to love your kids. These people don’t sound like the best people in the world. Maybe they are just insecure.
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I just have to say something… why are you constantly referring them as adoptive parents. That’s not very nice sounding. I think you should respect them and their feelings. Quit with the labels first.
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Remember who was there for you when it counted not when you didn’t need them
Invite your dad. If they have a problem with it and don’t want to play nice for your son’s birthday than that’s on them. They can choose not to show up. It’s not like you’re choosing one over the other. They need to act like adults and be there for the family.
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Sounds like your adoptive parents are the ones choosing a side. It’s your sons birthday, if he wants your dad there, invite him.
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Invite your dad how lovely it’s your dad!
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