My son and his girlfriend are seniors in HS. Both 18 they want to sleep at each other’s house. My first response was NO! But I’m rethinking this. What are your thoughts on how to do this right
I mean at that point they’re 18 and can do it anyways. I personally would as long as you’ve had many many many talks with him.
Honestly, if you don’t they will lie and go some where else. Make rules, keep the door open the whole night.
I guess ya have to chat with her parents
Sleep over in different rooms lol
Your son is an adult give them some space. If not he will rebel against you
I mean they’re both 18. Both legal adults.
Um…they’re adults give them some space
There 18 sorry but of course it’ should be acceptable both adults.
It’s all up to you and what you’re comfortable with. Honestly in my opinion, if you’re worried about them having sex or whatever- they’re gonna do it whether you allow sleeping at each others houses or not. My boyfriend slept over my house when I was that age- and honestly it was just nice to be able to relax together and not have to worry about making it home by a certain time etc… that being said- I have no clue how I’ll handle this when my kid is that age, thank god she’s only 3.5
Um at 18 I wouldn’t of even asked my parents… I’m an adult ill do what I want. Is this post a joke…?
He’s 18 he’s old enough to stay at his girlfriends without having to ask , if u don’t want it to happen in yours fair enough but u can’t tell him what to do at that age
If they want to be grown, they have to fund that themselves. Go get a hotel room. If they cant afford that, then they arent ready for a “sleepover.”
i dont like the idea but at least if they r at urs u know where they r if u say no they will find somewhere
Hes 18 you cant control his life
They are both 18… when I was 18 and living with my dad and stepmom I was allowed to have my boyfriend over and have the door shut cause I was “ technically an adult” but it’s whatever u feel comfortable and make sure they both understand the rules
They are going to do it either way. Talk with him about what you are feeling and make sure they have protection.
My kids did since 16
There now 22 and 18 and still no babies u gotta have trust
I seriously am mixed
Feelings. My family is very conservative and would never when I was growing up. Plus it’s your house. If they wanna stay at hers fine. But if you’re not comfortable then express that.
Being an 18 year old myself I can see both sides. My parents are so against things like this that I don’t even let them be apart of my personal life or I feel ashamed of even talking to someone. He is also an adult. If both sides of the family agree I don’t think it’s a problem. I think it comes down to what her parents have to say about the situation also. I would allow him but also give him certain rules so he doesn’t feel like he can do whatever whenever. Rules like be home at a certain time text me that your okay at certain times. If they’re comfortable enough to have that conversation the relationship might be getting more serious. Which isn’t a bad thing
If they are 18 they are welcome to move out and do whatever they want. In my house it’s what I want ! And I don’t care who likes it.
My kids would never have asked that. I don’t care how old they are. It’s my house
If they want sleepover they can work, get their own place and then they can motivate them
They are legally adults
They are 18. So they are adults. It’s either in doors safely or they will do it else where.
Any signs of sexual activity, all you can possibly do is give them the safe sex talk.
Would ya rather that happen under your roof or someone elses
Honestly it really would be something you need to agree on with the girlfriends parents. See what their views are on it.
I’d be okay with it but I would want to make sure the girlfriends parents were okay with it too. Chances are they’ve already had sex, so you’re not preventing that from not having sleepovers. Most likely they just want to binge watch movies or something.
Wait until he’s out of High school first. He might be 18 but he’s still in high school, you’re still legally responsible until he’s out of school.
He can wait 2 months.
I’m sorry, those saying that he can do what he wants at 18. Cool, if he doesn’t do it in my house. my son will be 18 in August, he may do as he pleases outside of my household at that point
Yes, they’re 18.
Make sure they’re aware of safe sex and all that stuff and let them be. They’re old enough to make informed decisions and know the consequences.
Are you going to ask the same thing if at 24 they’re still living at home and want to have their boyfriend/girlfriend over? No. You probably wouldn’t.
If you start it then it becomes a regular thing. How do other parent’s feel. Discuss birth control
Let them. They are adults and are probably already having sex.
Even if it probably isn’t the best idea, they are both 18 and adults. You can discuss the possible outcomes/consequences of his doing so but it is his choice to a degree. It is ultimately the choice of the parents if they will allow it in their house. Think about this as well… If you say no, they may go elsewhere anyway.
Your house, your rules.
Your house your rules but he’s going to find a way to have a sleepover with that girl regardless of your decision. I personally would allow it.
In my opinion, it doesn’t matter if they’re 18 or not. Your son STILL lives in YOUR house and still should respect you. Not to mention, he’s still in high school. I’d say wait until they’re both out of high school and then, maybe explore that option.
How soon do you want to be a grandmother?
Do you want to be a grandma? Say no
Just as long as they sleep separately
When I was 17-18 my mom let me sleep over at my (at the time) boyfriends house after prom. We slept on the floor of the living room. But his mom & my mom were fairly close.
They 18 let them crack on !!
At 18 they are grown. 🤷 You don’t have to “let” them sleep together at your house but you can’t stop them sleeping together elsewhere.
Turn it around - what if if your child was gay? Are you going to stop them having peers of the same gender over for a sleep over?
My mom said no, her house her rules. At the time, I was pissed. I moved out with him when I graduated high school. It ended up working out with us (we’ve been together for 15 years and married for 11 now) but as an adult, I’d say no to my kids having sleepovers with a boyfriend/girlfriend too Your house, your rules
If they have their own place and pay their own way. Then you would not be asking.
Get a pack of condoms say no worries at all 18 year old son
They’re18 they’re considered adults but it’s up to you and her parents because it’s YOUR HOUSE and her parents house…
How long have they been together?
Let them get their own house to sleep together in!!! 18 or not they need to have some respect. A couple months from now it could be a new girlfriend! And what if she’s not 18 but over 16???
They are 18 and also he brought it to you so he’s hoping you trust him basically and even if you say no he could go over there despite what you say. I say let em or it could just lead to an unwanted argument later
As long as you’re looking forward to being a grandma
Um nope, not in my house
Well you cant stop them
Are you okay with them having sex? If no, then the answer is no. If you don’t care or know that they’re already having sex and are careful, then that’s up to you and her parents.
Ummm not in my house
In the eyes of the law, they are adults…HOWEVER, if you want to be grown and do grown folks things, get a job and get your own place. I’m NOT running a bed and breakfast for horny teens.
My parents okayed it when I was 18. I’m now 32 with a 13 year old son😉
I don’t know. I really would have never asked my mom to let none of my boyfriend’s stay over when I was living with her. That’s just weird.
Let her sleep over and make him sleep on the couch. It’s a good test to see if you can trust that he will respect your rules
Yeah they are 18 but your house your rules … but if you don’t they will find a way better safe at home than drunk at a party we all did things we shouldn’t have
My parents were fine with it at 18… If not they’ll sneak around and start hiding things.
If you don’t allow it they will find somewhere else. They are 18. I’d rather it be safe at home.
There already having sex
I think that’s super kind and caring he has asked. Do the talk about being safe and maybe look at separate rooms to see where the trust is at.
My mom allowed my boyfriend to sleepover when I was 16 with the door open and I didn’t get pregnant or anything && I am still with him 15 years later so your kid your decision your rules whatever you feel is best !
Still in high school and living under my roof? No.
I mean think of it this way, at least graduation is almost here so no high school babies haha
He is 18, if he already hasn’t done the deed, he will eventually.
“Not in my house”
Why not ?
Do you not do it in your house ?
I’d let them but also speak to him on safe practices.
As long as you can’t hear them what does it matter
You saying no will just make them be sneaky about it. And plus they are both 18…
I mean I did i met my husband when I was 18. We fell in love and I had never really had a boyfriend. After a few months my mom said I could have him over. (We both were working and just graduated and both going to post secondary, we were reasonably responsible young adults). Fast forward to 13 years later and we’ve been married 6 years and have 2 kids.
Thats a tough one. Whether you let them or not they’re going to find ways to be together not sure if thats their intention but in my opinion id rather know where they are. But there would be strict conversations about being safe and respectful. If they’re responsible, obviously hes not having random girls and its a relationship, and they’re both of age id consider it. Def something for all of you to sit and talk about and discuss discomforts and boundaries.
My parents were always okay with it. Even when we were younger , we had separate rooms and because they weren’t over baring assholes we never disrespected their house. as long as you feel you raised your child right then I say go for it! We would go on vacations too. What works for one house doesn’t always for another.
Honestly? I think I’d say yes. Not something I considered until now but I think I’d have a(nother) talk with him about sexual responsibility and being safe… but yea, I’d allow it.
Uhm no. If he wants to get a place of his own he can play house. But at the same time at least they are under your roof. Maybe separate rooms?
I had my hs boyfriend sleep over often. I stayed at his place occasionally too. I guess my parents felt comfortable with it.
Maybe talk to the girls parents as well?!
They are already doing it lol might as well allow them.to be safe
Yes. Allow a safe space…better at home than in the back of a car somewhere…
Keep in mind that if they sneak around, someone might think it is an intruder.
when i was that age, my mom let my bf sleep over…we had our own rooms, and doors had to be open at all times…but other then that, we followed those rules
Nope! My daughter is 19 and one 21. Both still have curfews. They can go visit their boyfriend, as long as they live in our house sleep overs will never happen. Their boyfriend parents are well aware of our stance on this. As far as birth control goes both of our girls know .
That’s a big no for me. Of course kids are going to do things but I’m not going to condone it or allow it in front of me.
They are 18 so even if you’re not okay with it they will still choose what to do.
He’s 18. They are going to do it anyways, in your house or not. 🤷
Hes being upfront and honest. Better to have them in your house then in a parked car or something where they can get a ticket etc … hes 18 he’s old enough to vote, join the military and get married but not spend the night with a girl ?
Yes, they’re adults.
My girls were 15 when they started having sleepovers with their boyfriend’s
But not in the same bed
At 17 my mom let me stay over with my 19 year old bf at his place. It depends on maturity honestly.
ummm they don’t need a sleepover to have sex. All they need 10 minutes alone somewhere. If they are 18 I say it’s fine.
Probably. But only because my son is mature and responsible and I trust him to make good decisions. If he brought some random girl home, absolutely not. But if I know the girlfriend and think highly of her, then I would say yes and make sure they know the expectation is to keep it appropriate.
They’re legal adults… lol & they’re likely having sex already regardless sleepover or not
I do. Mine will be 18 in a month…at his age, I had him. And they are already taking things slower than I did. They are both very responsible. Besides…teenagers will do what they are going to regardless where they are, better it be in a safe space.
I would let him. They’re 18, they’re going to do what they want anyway. At least at your house you know they’ll be somewhere safe.
If they are serious and sensible i would say yes. I started dating a guy at 15 and think we were aloud sleep overs when we were 17 we are now 27 and still together.
I feel like 18 is adult think just need to trust them that they are being safe.
Even if you say no i think they just go against your wishes and sneek around
No thanks. I have two 19 year olds at home and neither are allowed to have the boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over. (I know they’re all having sex, just doesn’t need to be at my house). Plus if I make it too comfortable, they’ll never move out!
Honestly my parents instilled the “absolutely not” rule so I said okay fuck you and moved out cause I thought I was an adult. Honestly it’s better to be understanding and safe than turn around and teach them not to rely/trust you because you’ll shoot them down
I’d say they have to sleep in separate rooms and the doors need to stay open since you’re obviously uncomfortable with the idea of them fooling around under your roof. Which is totally understandable. I’m sure they have just not when you’re home. Especially if they’ve been together a while I’d say go for it just set rules that you feel comfortable with.
They are old enough to make their own decisions but to ask you shows their level of respect already. Give them the trust they deserve and they will always be grateful and come back to you as their support/person they can trust
I mean you can say yes and know what’s going on. Or you can say no and he’ll do it anyway
instead of just saying no that’s it sit down and talk with them and explain the situation and agree on terms of not what to do I think the more you tell somebody not to do something the more they’re going to want to do it that’s like me I was 15 I met a guy in February the 3rd 1988 I married him that March 21st and found out later I was pregnant my conception date was around March the 13th I had my son December 13th and I just remember that whatever they told me not to do I always ended up doing it which was a big mistake back then but I love my son I got exactly what I wanted my son and then later on I got a daughter way after I divorced him I was never told about birth control and all of that back then nothing was explained to me I learned on my own and my sister did too cuz she married when she was 16 she was smart though she didn’t have kids till she was in her twenties