Should I allow my 18 year old son to have a sleepover with his girlfriend?

I wasn’t allowed to sleep in the same room with my (now) husband while visiting my mother until after we were married even though we lived together for 4 years previous to marriage lmfao also— I’m 27 :joy:

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He can go to her house if the parents are ok with it but if you’re not ok with it then no, it’s not allowed at your house.

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At the age of 18 my child will be an adult so its on them then.

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Your house your rules. But at the age of 18 they are prob already having sex or had sex, but he’s an adult :woman_shrugging:t3: id tell him to remember to be respectful it’s your house

Everyone has sex :roll_eyes: whether you want to accept it or not your child is 18! When my oldest was ready both her and her boyfriend came to me asking for help with contraception etc
Although I wanted to have a heart attack I held it in and was extremely grateful for their maturity and sorted it out.
I made a rule that if I found out they were having sex in a park, at a party etc they’d lose the respect they’d gained and I wouldn’t allow them to do it in my house.
They have been together 4 years now. They are in a relationship it’s not some random one night stand and he’s 18 🤷

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I would prefer them sleeping together at my house than somewhere else. Give them the trust they deserve. They did ask permission after all.

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I was 19 living with my parents and wasn’t allowed alone in a room with my 31 year old boyfriend. It was their house so I followed the rules :woman_shrugging:

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Honestly, just let them. Better that they’re in your house and safe than trying to sneak around. And they might not be wanting sleepovers just for sex… Not as likely, but not all teenagers are sex crazed. You’d be surprised what happens when they don’t have to sneak around.

And you can try to keep them apart with separate rooms/doors open/ect but… My husband and I definitely still fooled around at parents’ houses when we “weren’t supposed to” (In fairness, we were in our 20s, not teens haha). They’ll find a way to do it anyway.

At this point, as long as they’re both 18, they’re legal adults… Treat them that way, trying to act like they’re still kids will only make things harder.

Yes not same room though

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A different perspective… my son is 18 and in Navy bootcamp right now. I have had very minimal communication with him for 2 months, and he won’t have an opportunity to even live at home for at least another 5 months. It will be like 4 months before I get to hug him. Being said, if he got a little leave and wanted his girl friend to stay with him at home during that time, there is absolutely no way in hell I would say no. I really think it’s a matter of who your kid is, who they’re involved with, etc… It’s sort of like asking at what age is it appropriate to leave your child home alone. Is it really a matter of age and the law, or maturity and responsibility? I mean of course you wouldn’t leave children of young ages alone, but around 10 is when I see most people wonder if it’s okay or not. And that really just depends on the kid.

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Give them condoms and lube and accept it , safer than sorry in my opinion. And give them to THE GIRL. So he doesn’t organize anything.

They can sleep over but not in 1 bed together… she can sleep somewhere in own bed and he too… its depend if hes done high school… working… you need to talk to him not to let her pregnant or hurting her or cheationg… if he love her… he better take cared of her… you need to tell him what is right…

When I was a senior in high school and dating my now husband, we lived an hour away from each other so my parents allowed him to spend weekends at our house. But when he stayed over he slept in my brothers room on his extra bed and I had to sleep on my parents bedroom floor.

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My parents pounded in my head that sex was sinful and my dad even threatened to throw me out of the house if I got pregnant. This was the late 60’s, early 70’s. 20 years later my daughter came to me and told me that she wanted to go on the pill. My first action was to recoil and think absolutely not! But then I thought about the fact that she had been with her BF for over a year and they were very serious about each other. I told her that I did feel she was ready for sex, but that I would rather have her protected. She and her husband have been married for 22years and together for 29. They waited 8 years, after marriage, to have their first child and for them that was the right things

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At 18 I was “allowed” to stay the night wherever I wanted but at my parents house if they werent okay with it it didn’t happen but after I turned 18 my parents were more or less like “you’re an adult you can make your own choices but inside our house it’s our rules”

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At 18 they are probably already having sex. (I know how could I think such a thing :woman_shrugging:) Your best bet is to sit them both down and have a talk about being responsible when they are having sex. Better than them sneaking around in my opinion.

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My question is are their young siblings around? If so I would be they have to be in separate rooms. I would rather they be safe. If no younger impressionable siblings then I would let them in the same room

I had my bf move in with me when I turned 18

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I’m not there yet but I feel like I would let my kids do this at 18. When I was that age I was lying and saying I was sleeping over at a friend’s house but actually at my bfs. I think it’s super awesome they are being honest with you. I can only hope my kids will feel comfortable enough to tell me the truth.

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Um no. Not under your roof. They can do that somewhere else if they absolutely can’t help it. Or they can wait till they get their own place.

No they need to be married first before sleeping together.

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My mom let me sleep at my boyfriend of 2 years house when I was 16… I also had friends on high school or knew couples who also had sleepovers with one another, now if they slept separate idk about that. Either way if they can’t have sex at each others houses they will find a way to do it somehow, so why not have them somewhere safe and a place you know he’s at. And explain to him about the safety of sex.

If u want little babies yeah

He’s 18? He doesn’t have to ask you to go to hers. If her homeowner allows guests he, an adult, can go. You obviously have an issue allowing her and its your home whatever but stop stifling your adult child.

At 18 they are legally an adult. However its your house and your rules. When I was 16 I thought 18 was so old and mature and now, being 32. I look at an 18 year old its instinctual to think “they are just a baby” I have yet to get out of that perspective…so I would say seperate rooms.

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Your house would be safer in the long run or they can do the shit I did which is sleep in car and hotels and other unsafe places. People in general are going to do as they please. That girlfriend has become his comfort and safe place. Ask why they want to stay together? Is it for the scent of the other person the physical touch the comforts what other reason outside of sex because I’m a young mother and still enjoy car sex and other public places haha but that’s me. Point being not everything is about sex and if they want to have sex just allow them to be safe about it.

Do you wanna be a grandma??? Not yet??? My answer would be Nope…

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Um wtf they are 18 legally an adult can do what ever they want… give them condoms and a talk and leave them bee

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If they are both adults, and assuming you’ve spoken to your son about being safe sexually, and he has his own room (no sharing with siblings), and her parents are fine with it as well, I think let it happen. Better knowing where they are and having an honest relationship with them than saying no, them being mad at you and lying to you in the future

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It depends.

Do you have any younger children at home? You need to consider what you do for your son, other children will be watching.

At 18, I let my sons GF sleep in his room but they were already sleeping together at University and I have no other children at home that I needed to consider.

What’s the worse they can do? Have sex? I’m sure they are already doing that :rofl: I was allowed to sleep at my then boyfriends house. I even had a key to his house lol. I was about 16/17 and he is now my husband of 13 yrs. Been with him almost 17 yrs total.

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18 is a legal adult here… be happy your child is even talking openly about that. Most are living together by that age here

Are you ready to be a grandma?

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Sorry, I may be old fashion but I say not under my roof. Do either one have younger sibling? A sleep over would be a bad example for them

No because you need to maintain some respect for your home. When he’s 20 he will be wanting to move her in. If your are old enough to play you should be responsible enough to pay for those responsibilities. I’m not at all religious but I am a therapist who’s raised 2 children to adulthood. Unless it’s an emergency ( illness, job loss, etc.) my children aren’t allowed to move back home with their families.

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I slept over at my bfs house when I was like 14. Now we’re married and together for 17years…

He’s 18, legally he can do whatever he wants. If you don’t want to give him the comfort and safety of his own home I’m sure he can find literally anywhere else in the world.

Your house your rules

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At 18 I was LIVING with my boyfriend :joy::joy::joy: I didnt have a baby until my fiancee and I had been engaged for 2 years (Covid put our wedding on hold). Have some dang faith in your ADULT kid. They’re old enough to make their own choices

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Honestly if you’re thinking no because of sex… just know if they wanna do it they don’t need a bedroom…

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As someone whose parents allowed this, I will never allow it for my children.

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Well they’re adults. But still your house and his parents house… so idk… but make sure to reiterate some key safe sex points so you don’t become a grandma.

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He’s 18 an adult can do what he wants

Hes 18? Still living at home? Get out get his own roof and job.

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Lmao I’m surprised he’s asking to be honest

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As long as he’s living under your roof, 18 isn’t a magic number. You make the rules so you can certainly disallow sleepovers at YOUR house. He can make his own choice about sleeping at her house. Have you spoken to her parents? What are their thoughts?

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At 18, he could go rent a room and do whatever he wants. Maybe they actually enjoy SLEEPING together.

He is 18, he can actually do what he wants, outside of your home!!

I honestly would. Like definitely no sexy stuff while im around. I dont mind yall snuggling on the couch. As long as they are a generally smart well behaved students/employees They can stay forever… Even the evil spawns i will call grandchildren. And still wait till your married for kids if you MUST… INSIST… On having one or five…

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Do you trust your son? Has he done anything to make you not trust him? Talk with his parents & the kids & figure out what will work best for y’all. Yes 18 is a young adult but still a teen. Watch billyvisco on TikTok he gives great parenting advice

My parents always let our boyfriends/girlfriends stay over starting around 17 as long as the door was unlocked :woman_shrugging:t3:

Are they using protection? They are 18. They will sneak to do the deed. Just make sure they are safe.

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Reverse it!!!. Would you let your daughter have her boyfriend sleep over at your house?

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Just make sure they’re safe. My 18 y/o has had females sleep over and he’s slept at girls houses also. He doesn’t currently have a gf persay but I will allow it when or if that happens. I would rather he be honest with me and at least I kno where he is. And weve had the safe talk. I also had him when I was 16 and he already knows he does not want a baby right now.

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You’re house, your rules. After he graduates high school, he can do what he wants outside the home but will still be respectful of the rules of the home. Totally up too you as his parent. Maybe y’all could sit down with her parents and get on the same page if all are comfortable. Then the kids know what is expected and what’s not acceptable while in both y’all’s homes. Compromise.

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In high school? No.

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How do her parents feel about it? If she still lives at home and depends on her parents, maybe you should talk to them and be on the same page

Yes I would however I would make them sleep in separate areas.

It is a respect thing not at your mamas house. No no

As of 17 I was allowed to have my boyfriend sleep over at my house. You need to communicate with your son about what you are or arent comfortable with. However, personally, Id let him have his girlfriend over (provided the other parents know) because I know they are safe under my roof. Yeah, Hes an adult so he will find other ways to sleep with her if he chooses to, but you shouldnt control it because itll likely put a wedge between you.
My mother let me have my boyfriend over, but my stepfather did not like it. He quickly shut up when my mother brought up his son (2 years older than I) and how he would be allowed at my age.

Anyway. Its your house, but you will have to sit and explain to your son why you chose whatever. Just because hes 18, doesnt mean he can get his own place. And being in highschool shouldnt matter, his maturity should. Good luck

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So my boyfriend and I slept at each others houses when we were 17 almost 18. Our parents looked at it as we were safe and they knew where we were. They’re going the find a way to do whatever they want to do. So better keep them both safe and feel like they can come to you than spending the night in a yucky hotel or the back of the car kind of thing. But both sets of parents should be on the same page or it’ll create a wedge between everyone.

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He’s ,18. You can have rules in your house but he can choose to move out if he don’t like it. And he can do what he wants outside and you have no say. Just teihim be safe

Hes an adult?? Let him do what he wants :woman_shrugging:t4:

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My perspective is sit them down and ask them to.respect you and your home. I mean, at this point, everyone’s adults. So, you should be able to have an adult conversation. Let them know you will respect their privacy as long as they respect you and your home. I want my kids to finish school before anything else happens. I’m very open with mine and they know my stance on sex. Protection throughout. While I know sometimes things happen, we will just have to go through it if and when that time gets here but for now, respect needs to be both ways

They are adults let them make adult decisions

let them get a job and work to get a place to live-I would not let them live at my house-if anything goes wrong will blame it on you-you do what is best for you-I see too many young men tied down because girl friend got pregnant or child support for next 18 years

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Not unless you want your wanting to be a grandmother!

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Um. Theyre 18. Good luck trying to stop them

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They are adults you can’t stop them (although I get u not wanting it to happen in your house ) crikey I had a mortgage 3 months after my 18th x

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I moved out at 17 and was married by 18. You can have rules in your house, but honestly what he does outside of your home is his business. He’s an adult.

Open communication at least they are hiding and including you rather than sneajing around I would discuss with her parents and also discuss birth control cover the basics but know that thinfs can happen regardless.

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Not in the same bed. My son slept at his gf all the time. He slept on the couch.

yeah no!
It’s not my job to provide a place for them to have “sleepovers”

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So…do you want to be called Grandma, Meemaw, GiGi???
I personally like GiGi myself!
It’s tough when kids become baby adults. Going through it right now. I don’t have an answer but I wish you luck!

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OMG! Their 18, at this point it’s not your decision. I cant believe all the parents on here acting like she has control over it. Their legal adults.

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I allowed my kids to do this at 18. I already knew they were having sex. I’ve always talked to them about safe sex and birth control. They would find a way anyways if that is the sole purpose of the sleep over. But once they were out of high school and working they were required to pay rent so it was basically their place.

Mother if 6 aged 15 to 28. I am a relaxed parent. I’ve raised some pretty good educated kids. My thing would be do I like the gf/bf? Is it a healthy relationship? Are they mature enough? Is there birth control involved? I’ve had some kids who I allowed to have sleepovers and others who there was no way in hell. Depended on the situation.

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Nope… My MIL had a strict rule with this and I really appreciate it now. No sleeping together until marriage, at least under her roof.

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Since they’re both 18 it can happen whether you allow it or not. The best thing to do is talk to them and remind them that being teen parents is hard

They will find a place to be sexually active no matter what. If both are 18, are in a committed healthy relationship, attend school as they should, and contribute to the household when asked through chores then I would say yes.

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I’ll let my daughter simply because I was doing it behind my moms back since 16. I would rather know where she is🤷🏽‍♀️

Oh, say yes. talk to them about contraception even provide it. Make it super awkward for them and join them for movie time

Sleeping next to each other doesn’t mean they will be sexually active. Sex doesn’t just occur at night. I would make sure you are open with him about safety and preventing pregnancy but he is legally an adult now and will appreciate it you trust him like one. I would allow it as long as it doesn’t interfere with school. Your baby is growing up and that is tough for sure

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My BF wasn’t allowed to stay at my house because I had a younger sibling (something my parents didn’t want to expose him to and as an adult, I respect that)…but after I graduated high school, I was allowed to basically do whatever I wanted so long as I maintained communication with my mom about when I would and wouldn’t be home.

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My aunt got to do this with her boyfriend and ended up pregnant at 18

I lived with a boyfriend when I was 14 through to the time I was 17. I didn’t have a support system or a real family. I did as I pleased and had a wonderful relationship with my exes family. I met my mother at 16 and decided to move in with her when I was 17. I lived with her for 1 year before getting my own place. During that time, I respected my mother’s rules and never even asked to bring anyone over. I chose different because I felt I could have a bond with her. Open communication is everything. If you say no then it’s no, but expect them to do so elsewhere. You can always have her sleep on the couch.

At least you know where they are, safe at home. I’d just talk to them about safe sex.

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They’re 18…adults…lol

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In our state 18 is an adult & legal age to not need permission. I understand your concerns, but if you try to tell them no, then they’ll do it anyways. & being 18 he technically doesn’t need permission by law.

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At 18 I was sexually active with a boy I thought I “loved” & was going to marry. But no lol. You’re not mature enough at 18 to make decisions like that. I’d explain this to your child & qllow them to make an informed decision for themselves. I’m 21 now, married & have a son. Kinda wish my Mom would’ve been more strict tbh.

OMG!! Stop trying to interrupt that Cheek Busting Session. Let them live!!!

Unless of course you still baby him, buy his stuff, pay his bills, take him to the doc, iron his clothes, feed him, pair his socks, fill up his gas tank, tuck him in…:upside_down_face:

He won’t ever grow up if you’re there each and every step of the way.

You gotta risk it, to get the biscuit! And trust me, he will get the biscuit one way or another. :rofl:

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My boyfriend in HS (who I ended up spending close to 8 years of my life with) ended up moving in with us at the end of my senior year of high school. I was 17, he was 20. (He turned 21 in July and I turned 18 in September.)
Until I was 18, he slept on a twin size mattress in my floor. Bedroom door stayed opened. My sisters room adjoined mine. It’s been 16 years and I will be honest, we never had sex in their house. We lived there around 8 months before we moved out. I guess it all has to do with maturity of the kids and boundaries set.

I moved out of home at 19 and did whatever I wanted at 18. Obviously letting mum know where I was or if I was coming home that night

I don’t think I’d be able to sleep if my son had his girlfriend sleeping over at my house and I knew about it at that age. Too many naughty thoughts running through my head of what I wouldn’t want them doing. However, I’d rather know they are safe and not sneaking around. Plus I’d make sure to let them know if they made any noises that woke up their little brother they’d have hell to pay and they’d better not be complaining about being too tired to go to school the next day.

YES!!!What ever you think your keeping them from doing, they’re already doing so just reiterate how to be safe and smart and let them live their best young lives🤷🏻‍♀️

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Me and my fiancé moved in together when I was 17 and he was 18, was together 4 years before we had our first baby, 5 years with our 2nd and 9 years together with our 3rd so sometimes it works out. :heart::pray:

They’re 18. They’ll find a way. Whether you like it or not.

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Your house your rules BUT he’s an adult so you can’t stop him from staying at his gf house.

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They are 18, they are adults. If you’re OK with her staying over then who cares what they do?

Nope. Not in my home. You want to be and act as adults, and live together, move out and accept that responsibility and the consequences that could come with it. Allllll of it, good or bad.

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