There shouldn’t have been a choice whether he came over or not to begin with,
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I think meeting on neutral ground would be best, you should certainly allow a relationship, but maybe start with public outings!
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He’ll no, don’t you know that, thex if it’s a ex, should be saying if they not allowed, then I can’t come without my family, duh
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No, his son is not entitled to b visited by your kids, he can come to your home ( his father home) and see kids.
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YOUR NOT WRONG! Nope!
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You should never keep siblings from having a relationship with each other. Regardless of your relationship with the other parent. Or your feelings. Your children, deserve to have a relationship with their older brother. It isn’t about you… It’s about them. So, yes you should. They should have the chance to know their older brother. Put your problems aside, for the children.
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She sounds super manipulative. My husbands x- wife is a narcissistic psycho and she would definitely do something like this. She controls everything and I definitely don’t care anymore. My peace is more important than her craziness. That being said, siblings are important and it can be too much for a young adult to navigate being uncomfortable at your place and trying to get to know sib. Additionally it could be uncomfortable for your kid to go there and it’s not appropriate that she even ask that. Why should the responsibility be on the younger kid to be in a new place without you. You all could meet at a park or some other neutral ground. Or do some therapy for working towards a relationship in a healthy way for both kids.
You are not wrong. I’m in a marriage where my Husband’s ex wife still wants to control everything. I let her…lol…and I just choose not to attend most things…then Hubby realizes as well as his kids…after the event unfortunately…but I have a better relationship with them all because of it. Stat true to yourself!! The rest will fall in to place.
Hell no you are NOT wrong. You are his WIFE, NOW. Where he goes and your kids goes so should you regardless who is there and who does not like it.
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Yup fuk that and fuk ya husband’s family
Is your husband hanging out with them too? Are they divorced because of an affair?
Obviously it’s not for no reason. You know the reason. You just aren’t putting it here because it doesn’t fit with your agenda.
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Did your husband ever go to court over visitation and child support of his son? If he didn’t then he should then his son would probably have to come for visits because the court would say that he had to and then the son could see his siblings, get to know them, spend time with them. My opinion is that I would take it to court. Prayers. Good luck!
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Yes you are wrong. Kids come first.
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You are not wrong similar situation I am In and the fact you arent invited becuase they family wants them together. I’m with my boyfriend 11 years his family wants only him around not our child plus his older kids dont want us .
Ask to meet on neutral ground in a public setting where you can be involved like a park or restaurant. Don’t send the kids to their house or ask them to come to yours. Make it clear you aren’t comfortable not being there with your kids due to the state of your relationship with that part of the family. Don’t see anything wrong with that. 
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No. Why would you even consider letting your child spend time with someone who has turned others against you? She will turn your kids against you as well. This mom seems very controlling. She wants your husband. He turned her down. So she critises you to the son. Now he wants a relationship with his siblings? The boy doesn’t care about his siblings. The mom is just using them to get your husband away from you.
Your husband needs to take her to court for visitation. The child needs to go to your house to see his father & siblings. His mom doesn’t get visitation of your children.
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it’s not about you to be honest. let them go
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Why would his son live with his aunt? Why doesn’t he live with y’all or with his own mom? When you get in a relationship like that, you have to be ready for it. If you’re not wanted there, dont go. As soon as you accepted being with a person that let his family split and not only that but left his kid with his sister instead of caring for him hiself science his mother doesn’t care for him, you should know other weird stuff like this can happen. I think you’re wrong for being with someone that has his kid living with his sister. If you we’re able to accept that, you should be able to accept anything.
Keep them away. Let his son come and if he doesn’t want to well it’ll be the way it was. Don’t go bowing and catering to other people’s needs and wants.
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Nope. Adults who can’t put aside grievances for children are just sad. She’s gone on for years letting the kids relationship suffer for her issues; and now she wants you to send your kids somewhere everyone hates you promising they won’t get treated terribly? Yeah I don’t think so.
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This is a tough situation in general. I mean it sounds like a bitter ex. She asked him to give their relationship another try and he said no, so she’s bitter and used the kid as a pawn. Her living with his family doesn’t make a lot of sense either. I feel like I’m this whole situation, maybe the husband is the AHole. I feel like as your husband and his first sons father, he should be speaking up to both his ex and his family. If there really is “no reason” for his family to be excluding you and “no reason” for his oldest son to not be coming around, then he should be the one petitioning the court for visitation of his son, because it is important for his oldest child to have a relationship with his youngest children. I would suggest taking it all slowly though because his oldest son was 7 at the time, and based on his age and your daughters age, he should be about 11 now? I’m sure his mother has had some influence on him not wanting to come to your house, but you can’t force yourself on him. Have your husband grow a pair, speak up about his son and his wife. Go through the courts for visitation and get a plan in place to work on getting everyone to where they need to be.
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Gosh that story exhausts me on so many levels. Bless your heart. You have to be a strong woman. I do all or nothing with the kids. Kids are the best at keeping people divided and feeling guilty but they have much grown folk help advising them. I feel bad for the ex to she’s clinging to the past. It’s okay not to forget the family and just because you break up doesn’t mean you have to vacate the family all together. However, to cause so much friction with you guys and holidays being avoided is a lot. We’d all be going to the sisters house as a family awkward and all.
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Your husband needs to cut his ex the hell off. He needs to man up and tell his family what’s what for one. And 2 he should tell his son to come to y’all’s house . Not him go to the mothers house to hang out that’s the mother pushing that.
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So your husband goes to his sisters and hangs out with his ex?! 
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Nah you can all go to a park or something if the ex can’t get over herself long enough for her child to see it’s siblings. There’s 0 reason someone should have to bring their new children to an ex’s home without the child’s mother to visit family/sibling.
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Your not wrong. Dont send your kids. If they treat you and your older kid awful, imagine how they will treat your other kids behind closed doors.
Also, what is your husband doing going over there if his ex lives there. Your husband should be standing up for you and backing you up. Thats just wrong of his sister.
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You should absolutely not send your children…if he wants a relationship with his younger siblings he can stop acting like a brat and come see them. (Even though we all know it’s mom pushing his behavior) You should not have to be put into an uncomfortable position by sending your kids around a woman and family who clearly are against you. AND I’d also be questioning why the hell my own husband thinks it’s okay to go WITHOUT ME to spend time where his ex is living. Also his family is on her side, not yours. I’d be cutting them completely out of my life as well. Put your husband in check, cause he’s wrong too.
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I feel a lot of details are left out of this story…
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Husband is in the wrong
Nah its all or nothing! We not playing those games
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Nope. If I’m or allowed somewhere neither are my children. Period.
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If his son was so important, it’s called court and he should of went a long time ago and made sure they had an arrangement where he saw his son. He just let the ex keep his son from him and use him as a pawn. And clearly he needs to step up to his family and he hasn’t so seems like you care more then he does.
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My ex had a daughter I had a son. We wanted to spend some time with his daughter. It was the week before Christmas. She was sick so we packed up the in-laws n went over loaded with presents. I was pregnant at the time. We came in the door n she took one look at me and said no I was NOT allowed in. I ended up leaving n sitting in a running car. After that she left for Florida. Took us a year to find her. When she would come up she was allowed at her grandparents n they were not allowed to tell her dad. It was all a big secret. With all the games your husbands ex is playing I would say meet at a park so the whole family can be there
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I would want my children to have a relationship with him but not without me being there and supervising. I wouldn’t be sending my kids over to someone’s house that I have issues with or has issues with me and hasn’t welcomed us for years. If they can’t figure out a mutual spot for the kids to all get together or he won’t come over then I would not be down with it
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No, don’t allow until there is a complete family meeting of all adults in person to discuss it. Sounds too deceiving.
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Nope. Not wrong at all.
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If your not welcome then I wouldn’t let the kids. Period.
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nope come there or 2 bad for him!
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They aren’t making a reasonable request. They can’t be a part of their lives if they want to ignore a whole half of their lives, which is you.
If they want to have a relationship with your kids they need to at least have a cordial relationship with you. Otherwise your sending the wrong message to your kids about how family is supposed to treat each other.
Blood only goes so far; and blood definitely isn’t worth ignoring toxic behavior. Healthy family bonds are what should be nurtured, not whatever it is they are proposing.
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Never send your kids somewhere where you are not welcome 
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Nope fuck that I don’t get to play those little games. Everyone comes or no one comes sorry. I wouldn’t let my kids go.
No this is not wrong. If his kids don’t respect you, they should NOT have access to your baby, especially if you’re not welcome. Nobody that disrespects me will ever have access to my child, family or not!
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Have them meet in a mutual location, just the kids without the parental drama… Every adult thinks that they’re the innocent party in these dramas but the only victims are the kids, let them catch up.
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Someone is playing a game
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Nah. My kid goes nowhere without me, especially not somewhere I’m not allowed.
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Absolutely not. All or nothing in my book. It’s not a game. Seriously can’t stand rubbish like this, same my end! Say hell to the no.
If you refuse you are just verifying his feelings towards you. Surprise them all and allow it.
I would question why your husband is ok with leaving you and your daughter at home while he is going to hangout with his ex and y’alls two kids like one big happy family🤔
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Why wouldn’t you be allowed at your in laws house? There has to be more to the story than this. Especially if y’all aren’t doing holidays together.
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& why would your husband WANT to go visit his family and not include you and your kids? There is always a reason.
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I wouldn’t leave kids alone in an environment like that. Something is not right, Maybe have them get together at a neutral location. If he wants the relationship that badly he will make it happen.
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If he wants a relationship then there it’s no reason why he can’t come to you
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If I’m not allowed neither are my kids
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No don’t enable anyone to control your situation it is ok for your boundary to be the son comes to you. That woman is not in charge
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Nope. My kids go nowhere without me. I set the rules & standards for them. If the kid doesn’t respect me, he isn’t respecting my kids either so that’s a no go. Suggest meeting at the park or something. If he can’t do that he can blame himself for having no relationship with his half siblings.
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Kids should never ever be involved in adult issues.
Seems petty and jealous assuming there’s no worry if them abusing your kids. Just make sure your husband goes if you’re worried.
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Your husband should stand by you. His ex wants your husband without you at the family’s home. She’s using the son. She has no business living off your husband’s sister , she’s just wanting to keep her foot in the door. There is always a better way to have the kids see each other.
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I find it odd and inappropriate your husband has made it a somewhat divide in the family instead of trying to blend as one because he let his oldest child call the shots. Going over there even though his wife and her daughter aren’t allowed, should have never ever happened. There are plenty of ways for the children to have time together that don’t include you and your daughter feeling like you do not matter in his family. Definitely communicate how you feel and I hope there’s a compromise that brings a better future for your blended family.
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Maybe he just don’t want the drama. If the ex don’t like you why would you want to go sit up in her face. Don’t deprive your children of seeing their siblings just keep inviting them over and for events so they know they are welcomed. I’m sure the son wants to come his mom is probably poisoning him with her negativity.
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If my SO or I are not allowed there, my children will not be going. Bottom line.
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No your not wrong, he hasn’t been in the picture for long time an you dont know what he his mom or your sister n law n brother n law will put in there heads to stir up stuff, especially since she wanted him back, an lives with his sister, which is altogether strange itself, an your husband doesn’t need to go there even his sisters house while his ex lives there at all, his sister n husband n his son need to come to your house if they want a relationship at all with anyone, your just asking for problems in your relationship with your husband an kids if you send them or husband takes them, he shouldn’t do that out of respect for you tho, my opinion but up to you
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What is the problem if your husband is taking the children to visit? There really is no need for you to be there if you’re not welcome.
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Some of y’all never grew up out of high school and it shows
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Would he be open to going to the park or somewhere like that? You could hang back and let him and your husband have their time and the oldest and your kids, but you would still be there to make sure your kids are ok. Is your husband supposed to stay over there (at ex’s) with all the kids? Or was he just dropping them off? I wouldn’t be comfortable with my kids being somewhere that I am not allowed to be. I would be afraid of what they would say about me in front of or to my children, depending on the person.
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That’s exactly what I go through. Stand your ground, if I am not allowed somewhere my children AREN’T. Honestly even his son sounds toxic, if he wanted a relationship with his siblings he can have ine under YOUR watch in your house. And i would definitely watch because my ss7 has let it be known he doesnt care to have a step sister.
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Call me petty or whatever but hell no. My children would not be going over there unless ALL my children and myself are welcome.
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Your husband is inappropriate and needs a come to Jesus meeting. Give it to him. This is not ok and he’s allowing a divide in HIS home. Nope. He should tell his oldest that they can go to a park or something neutral. But he should also include your daughter. They’re a family. Doesn’t matter what poison his momma fed him at 7 yo, when she didn’t get her way. It’s been 8 years & she needs to let it go.
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I do not get along with my mother but my siblings are still my siblings. Any older sibling expressing much interest to have a relationship with their younger siblings should be encouraged in my opinion at all costs. Sibling bonds are either made or worsen in these type of cases. Unless you have a legit safety concern I would bite my tongue and be as easy going as I needed to be. Who knows maybe if you did it would improve each relationship with the people involved for you including your husbands. As a mom and person I can understand your frustrations and the situation you’re in. No one likes to feel unwanted especially in that position. In every situation it depends what your POV is and the way you see things. I’m sure they can justify their actions and thoughts as well. I’m sure most of the parties are being immature but this is about you asking what you should do and the best advice I can give you is to bite your tongue and ask for a fresh start maybe a one on one talk with the son and mother. Another tip from experience is sorrys and do overs end up a lot better when you don’t say (but your actions is what made me act the way I did or pointing blame) maybe down the road when things are going better it would be a good idea to talk it over they are more likely to understand. I hope this helped ! Good luck.
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Nope, I would not allow it.
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You are not wrong. My children are not allowed to go anywhere I’m not welcome.
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The fact the other sibling cant be there is what bothers me. And people saying whats the problem with the husband taking the children to visit, by the sounds of it he cant be there either, unless that’s just holidays & events bc she’d be there too.
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Meet up at a park or a restaurant or a indoor play pace together. Apart no because it’s a blended family.
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My kids don’t go where im not welcome. Period.
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Go to a public place. Park, restaurant, etc
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Is you husband able to go? If its just the kids and they are young, I would not. I would offer to meet in a neutral place and let the kids play.
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Nope wouldn’t do it.
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Ask for meeting to be in a public space? My oldest has 5 siblings from her donor that she doesn’t get to watch grow up & it rips her apart every day. Regardless of my feelings about her donor or his knuckle dragging sewer rat, if given the chance I would allow her to see them 110%. It breaks my heart to know how my 16 year old feels, and there being nothing I can do to change it.
Sounds like your husband needs to have your back. Noppee
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Don’t do it. You’re not in the wrong here.
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My kids aren’t allowed around people who don’t like or respect me period. This boundary should remain firm. There were obviously ill intentions years ago, and zebras don’t change their stripes. He should seek a custody arrangement/ agreement and see his son that way. He doesn’t have to have a relationship with his ex to have a relationship with his son.
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I wouldn’t care. If my husband wanted to go by his ex’s place with all his children (their 1 and our 3) I would kiss them goodbye and tell them to have fun! Then enjoy my day off!! She is no threat to me, or to us.
If you and your daughter are not welcome
That’s a hard NO. If the Boy wants to know his siblings he needs to put aside his reasoning and get to know them at your place.
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There is no family unit there so no….no go….my opinion only…game playing would feed into the ex’s control I’m afraid
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No, it sounds like the ex is the one pulling the strings. They are only accepting kids that are fathered by him, yet he wasnt allowed to have a relationship with his son for how many years? This whole situation was brought on by the ex. I would not play these games. If you and your oldest child isnt welcome, then the younger kids cant go
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I try not to let my personal relationships interfere with how my kids have relationships with people. Just because your relationship is that way with that person doesn’t mean it’s going to be that way with the kids and that person. This was , and still is, a very hard lesson to implement. I stay civil for the kids and let them make the choices. I mean obviously as long as it’s a safe environment. If it’s a danger zone than it’s a hard no. One example is my mother. She was a shit ass mom to me. Like I don’t even want to get into the stuff. She’s an angel to my kids. I hate it, it drives me crazy, but my kids love her. It hurts me. Like crazy, but I have to be a grown up about it and let them have what ever relationship they do. I mean I don’t let them go to her place but she goes to my nanas and stays with them while they are there.
If the older child wants to see his siblings , he needs to come to your place.
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Let them see their sibling in a neutral environment with your supervision. Like a park, mall, restaurant, indoor play place etc.
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No 
. They will just turn them against you too. Mutual place. Forget that setup
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Don’t deprive your children of their own sibling. That would be selfish on your part.
Maybe let them meet at a park or something.
Honestly your being petty. That’s just my opinion… Nothing in this post points to the child’s feelings. It’s all about how you feel, which honestly doesn’t matter… Let the siblings have a relationship and stop allowing your feelings to dictate the outcome
#firstworldproblems
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No they should and he shouldn’t if his wife isn’t welcome. Stand up for yourself and your children
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Absolutely not. And if my husband went over there without me, I’d be stopping that too, or getting the heck outta dodge. Life is too short to put up with that crap.
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Yes. Id let them go.
Nope. If I’m not welcomed somewhere I’ll be dammed if I send my kid over to that place. Sounds like you need to just drop his whole side
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My kid isn’t allowed anywhere I’m not welcomed.
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Nope. They can’t go over if he can’t come over. I would tell them to meet at a place like a park where EVERYONE is welcome.
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Agree with above post. There is no family unit…at all…I say they could meet somewhere else and hang…
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That would be a hard no from me.
If this was the beginning of a relationship and the meetings were happening away from the ss mom, it would be a different story.