I am currently seven months pregnant, and the father and I have separated due to allegations that the baby isn’t his, that I must have gotten pregnant on purpose for child support, etc. I am scheduled to have a c section, and wondering if he should go into the OR with me. Our relationship was very toxic, and I feel as though this will add to the stress of delivery. Has anyone else gone through this?
That’s a definite NO in my opinion.
No, do what makes YOU feel comfortable.
If he felt like that why would he wanna be in there
I wouldn’t. Especially if he’s saying the baby isn’t his.
U dont need stress. U need someone who really wants to be there for you
If you are not together and he accusing you that its not his!!! I would say no…
If it’s not his baby as he says then why does he care. NOPE
No if he’s saying the baby isn’t his hell no
Then why have him there? If he thinks the baby isn’t his feel free not to invite his ass and send out DNA test bam.
No way! Men are not able to cope with their eyes after they see that…
No I wouldnt allow it. I would only allow someone who would make the most and best decisions for my and my babies medical care. Csections are major surgery and if anything goes wrong you want someone who can help you make decisions or make decisions on your behalf that you would want made.
Is all about what you want and what makes you comfortable
I 100% say it is your choice… I however would not want him in the room if he will make it more stressful for you.
Without!!! If he questioning anything. Forget that! That’s not what you or baby need!
No! Don’t let him steal your joy. He could ruin your beautiful moments with your baby.
No! Do not give him the pleasure of seeing the baby be born.
Surgery is already difficult, I would not want him in the room causing more stress to you.
If he says the baby isn’t his then no. If he said the baby is then yes even if yall aren’t together. If you will be stressed then absolutely not. That is putting you and the baby at risk if you’re stressed.
After having 4 c-sections you need someone you feel safe with in there with you. Mine was my husband but probably would have been my sister if I had a second choice. Goood luck
I was not only in the room but cut the cord on both my kids.
No I wouldn’t even tell him until you have delivered and are at home. If he says those kinds of thkings I’d do a DNA test before even allowing contact (especially if there is any doubt about paternity in your eyes)
Nope I didn’t let my child’s father in the room when I had a c section I had my mom best choice
I mean if you are 100% certain that it is his child, I’d say I’d allow him to be at the hospital but not in the room. He can come see his child after birth and you and baby are settled. It take two to make a baby so that child is just as much his as it is yours. However, birth is a very private intimate event and I feel a woman should be able to have her support be who she is most comfortable with.
Your body, your choice
Your body, your choice
Without. Especially if he’s assuming its not his, there’s no reason for him to be there (whether you know or not that he’s 100% the kids father)
Yes and I let him in, he was so mean to me the nurses removed him and kept me in pacu for 5 hours. It’s not worth it
Do what’s best for you. If him being there is going to stress you out, then don’t have him in there
It’s your labour, your choice.
No don’t let him in the delivery room he claims that he isn’t the father pick someone else to go into the delivery room with you
If he’s not claiming the child or being supportive, I would say no. If he was being supportive then I would say he could as you will be coparenting and some men want to see their babies born. My husband is very adamant he wants to be in the room, even if I have to have an emergency c-section. I feel hed still feel this way even if we were splitting up but it’s still his child.
If he’s acting this way I’d maybe let him be in the waiting room if he wishes and he can visit after you’re both in your room. I wouldn’t want an unsupportive person in the delivery room with me.
I’m delivering by myself. When in labor, contractions are bad enough, distraction and unnecessary negative energy is not welcomed.
If he is accusing you on doing it on purpose that isn’t very supportive and a red flag…
I had a similar experience with my third child. My ex was so toxic that he threatened to kidnap my son from the hospital. I ended up changing hospitals rescheduling the date and doing a confidential admission. I don’t regret it for a second. Don’t let a toxic relationship ruin your birth experience.
If he’s denying paternity just leave him in the waiting room
Girl hell no if he’s telling you all this bump him it’s already stressful enough going threw a c section you don’t need the head ache there just enjoy those first moment’s with ur blessing because that’s a the best love your ever going to feel
If you are positive it is his then yes. You can tell him if he causes any issues you will ask them to remove him.
I did go through this and I had to make the difficult decision to not even tell the father I was having the baby. He was toxic and without a restraining order the baby and I may have been unsafe or in the least, I would have been verbally abused.
I would if I knew the baby is 100% his why take that moment away from him. He could always be kicked out if needed
Not if he’s going to be an ass the whole time
Dont let him in there!
I say no way. He’s denying the baby is his and is very toxic for you, you don’t need that stress to deliver the baby.
It’s not safe for you or the baby so I say NO!!!
I wouldn’t let him in.
If it will add stress to your delivery, hell no
Take whoever will make you feel love and comforted into the room with you.
I would either have him wait in the waiting room or call him to come after
No, he can see baby after, he doesn’t get privileges for being an a-hole.
That’s a big no for me.
He doesn’t have to be in there. He can wait out in the waiting room.
I don’t see how he would even want to be there anyways.
I would not allow him in. He can see the baby afterwards.
No way call him after you give birth
Absolutely not… If the relationship was toxic why would you even consider allowing him into the Operating room for what is supposed to be the most beautiful moment in a mother’s life??? He isn’t claiming the child and is making ridiculous allegations. It will absolutely create more stress for you which is dangerous for you and baby. Enjoy your birth without the negativity
Have you had a baby before??? A c-section is major surgery. It’s extremely serious and scary. NO. Keep his toxic butt faaaaaarrrrrrrr awaaaaayyyyyyy from you and your child.
Be the bigger person and let him see the baby being born. Maybe after him seeing the baby being born is all he needs to get his act together and want to be there for the baby.
If it was me I’d say no. I’d take someone who’s going to be there to be supportive like my mother or a relative.
Do not allow him in. I was in a similar situation and ended up letting him in. Only added drama.
Nope. Toxic? He can wait in the waiting room
If it will add any stress to you then no. A peaceful delivery for you is best for you and the baby. He can see the baby after your in your own room.
Nooooo. I didn’t let my abusive ex husband in the delivery room when I had our son because he was stressing me out. My doula kicked him out!!! Don’t let this asshole ruin this moment for you. And he doesn’t deserve to be in the room when he thinks baby isn’t his.
C-Sections are very scary so you need that one person beside you that’s going to help you stay calm.
Does HE feel this way or family? If he doesn’t believe the kids his then no. No reason. If he does and can be civil and supportive then yes.
Every father has the right to be there for the birth of their child, if you don’t want him in the OR he can wait in the waiting room until after the birth than while you are in recovery he can spend time with the baby…
No have a friend or relative.
They kicked my daughters father out! If theres ANY stress on you from him they wont let him stay anyway!
Because of your relationship with him I would say no to him being in the OR with you. If he wants a test done to determine if he is the dad he has to request it from the hospital.
Nope! He can see the baby afterwards! You two are not together and you do not any added stress than what you will already have giving birth!
No way, I did and I’ve regretted it everyday. My birth from start to stop was all him on his phone ignoring me in labor for 24 hours… then a csection… just bring your mom or a good friend! If I could go back I would
Say NO and have someone u love and trust in there with you. Your mom or your best friend. He can see baby after. If hes being a dick and going on about the babybisnt his and then saying the baby is a cash grab, then he doesnt really deserve to be in the room when you give birth.
But id say make that up to him or he can wait outside of the room or something
You can try, if it doesnt work out they can and will remove him at any point if you want him out!
No. Have a relative or close friend.
It’s up to you. If you feel comfortable let him… If you dont feel comfortable then ABSOLUTELY NOT. Don’t let anyone guilt you into letting him in… The Nurses and hospital staff will support you and back you up 100%.
I would say big no even with the small amount of details… that’s a stressful thing and you need someone you’re comfortable with. Especially if he is denying that baby. With my second I had a c section and I had my mama because me and my ex had split up. Yes it’s about baby but it’s more about YOU and getting through that.
No i wouldn’t if it’s that toxic nope
No, you should have someone supportive with you
I would give him the opportunity and leave it up to him whether he wants to or not.
As he’s questioning the fact of him being the father, then NO!
No take care of yourself
If he’s toxic then I wouldn’t. That’s my opinion
Wouldn’t go in with me
If he makes you uncomfortable then hell no. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks or anyone else says. You need to be in the most comfortable setting as possible when you are fixing to go through what you’re fixing to go through. You and baby is all that matter.
Also if he was toxic and violent I would already have a restraining order in place for the safety of the child. After paternity is established ifld be ready to go to court and request anger management, parenting classes, and express to them that the fear you have of that child with an abusive man.
NO!! I was in the same situation with my 2nd child and I refused to let him in the room. You’re going to need support and positivity not stress and tension on the happiest day of your life! Up to you though!
Give him a chance. Have a talk and ask if he can be 100% supportive of you. When i was pregnant with my second son, my relationship with their father ended because he was cheating. I told him if he wanted to be there when our second son was born it was his choice. I knew he never would so it was easy for me, he didnt want to be there.
It’s up to you. If you know it’s not going to end well, don’t do it.
I didn’t have a csection but me and my sons father were separated when I gave birth. Our relationship was VERY toxic but I allowed him to be in the room for the birth of his son.
Regardless of our relationship, it didn’t feel right to exclude him.
That being said, he was actually kicked out of the room once or twice for making ignorant comments, but overall I do not regret letting him be a part of our sons birth.
With a c-section (at least when i had mine) there was only one person allowed in. So if there’s someone you would much rather have there that will support you 100% then do that instead. It doesn’t matter if he is the father. I know i was scared and nervous and everything inbetween and if my mom hadn’t have been there i couldn’t even imagine what it would’ve been like.
It sounds like he hasnt been nice to you and it’s already a stressful time. Hes denied the baby is his. Not nice, theres always a chance people can change but this isnt the moment you should test that theory. Let him be there waiting in waiting room but I’d have someone who’s support I can rely on in the operating room. I’ve had 2 c sections one was an emergency, one was scheduled if you need to talk or questions about them. You can private message me if you want.
Nope! You dont need that added stress!! He wouldnt know anything until after the birth when its time for the DNA test so you can prove him wrong!!! Be strong!!! And congratulations on your new little one!!
What kind of question is that!? Of course! Just because you are growing the baby doesn’t mean that the baby is only yours! It took two people to make him/her! I hate women like you. Maybe put your selfishness aside.
If it was toxic and it will stress you out during surgery, then no do not let him in. He can visit with baby after wards.
No. Make him miss it due to his own stupidity. I’m a 2 time c section mama and trust me when I say you need someone who will support you and help you thru it
I say do what you think is best. My daughters father was calling my phone while I was in the hospital saying mean things. He showed up cussing so I kicked him out I do NOT regret it because it would of been to much stress.
You definitely need someone in there with you that’s going to help keep you calm and level. C sections are a pretty common procedure but once I laid on that table my anxiety went through the roof.
Honestly, delivery (no matter it’s form) is extremely intimate- you are exposed in a way you typically aren’t otherwise. If he’s your only possible support person, then I would say he should be there because it’s not something you want to go thru alone. But, if there are any family members or close friends I’d chose them over someone who doesn’t want to acknowledge the child is his
Not if you don’t want him there
I wouldnt have him in for the simple fact that it is a major surgery that you are undergoing, yes in different circumstances I’d have him there but not for a major operation…he can wait in the waiting room like everyone else and see you and your baby once you are settled in your own room and can even deal with having anyone around, I wouldn’t risk having the nagativity around me especially being in that much pain and being so tired.
I wouldn’t let him in the room. Especially with him denying the child. Enjoy your day with your baby and then decide if he should visit baby or not. And I wouldn’t tolerate any bullshit from him
Its your choice. Not his or his familys.
No have someone that will help you. C sections aren’t easy and you will want someone who will help you and keep you calm. If hes like this now it’s not going to get better no matter what u think.
Don’t let him ruin your birthing experience. Have a friend or family member that will keep you possitive. Stress is not good for you or baby! Good luck x