Have good support with you, not drama.
I wouldn’t, and if you didn’t want to then you wouldn’t be a bad person at all, YOU need to be comfortable.
I’d say no. You need someone supporting you during this time. Less stressful for you and baby.
This could be the first conversation y’all have as parents, giving you both the opportunity to step up and do what’s right for your child. Try talking to him about it and see his response. If it’s a positive conversation and he’s elated that you’re willing to give him that once in a lifetime opportunity - GREAT! Otherwise, it’s his loss.
If he denies his baby, he can stay out!
Don’t allow him in the delivery room if he is saying that the child isn’t his. Then when he finds out it is his, he just might feel like an asshole.
I had a similar situation but I felt that regardless of our relationship that he should be allowed to be there for the birth of his child. We live in separate states now and because I made the decision to allow him to be there he has thanked me multiple times and is working on bettering himself to see his child. Did I want him there? No. Was he helpful? Again no. But he had the right to be there. Most guys don’t get the transition into parenthood that we as women do, but in the long run, this has helped him grow up a lot quicker than if I completely disregarded his feelings and been petty and not let him around her.
Yes you should bc no matter how you feel about each other if that is his child and you take away him being able to see them born away you cant every right that wrong its litterally a once in a life time moment. My husband and I were in a very nasty separation when my youngest was born and I never took him being there away. He threatened a few time not to show and I simply said ok that’s on you and something you cant ever get back so if you dont show that’s on you. Iwould never take that away from someone how you you feel if he got to decide if you were at your childs birth
No, he can be there the whole time babys in the hospital. Any delivery is a very intimate experience. You need to be comfortable and relaxed. Maybe your mother. But if he adds stress he doesn’t need to be in there
Sounds like a balloon… if he thinks its not his then let him think that… he’s missed out!!
Nahh not him take your mom or sister or best friend.
You are the one giving birth. Labour is hard enough without outside pressure and stress. It is up to you who is in the room and who is not. You need people that will support you and take away the stress.
No he don’t deserve to be there if you have moved on-He don’t want the baby or he would claim it–
Your are better off not having him in there. Take care of your mental and emotional health so you can care for you baby because it DOES effect your body and mind and will effect your ability to produce milk to feed your child and postpartum depression
If you think/know he could bring you strength, give comfort, be understanding and support you during your labour absolutely.
If you answered No to any of these i would suggest having him chill in the waiting room with a mate or family member.
After birth when your cleaned and comfortable i do suggest skin on skin for Dad and bubs.
Pick someone who will be a good supporter…someone who can keep you relaxed and ease the worries.
The baby isn’t his, so why the question ? No it’s a no
If he’s toxic to you no he can wait outside the door
If you feel he will be a stress to you during this time say NO. a hard period ending NO
Does he WANT to be there ?
No. Do not let him in the OR…if it’s toxic just don’t do it! He can be with the baby once the baby and you are out of recovery.
NO! NO! No! You got this!
Since he won’t be a support for you and already claiming the baby isn’t his, if he wants to be there he can wait in the waiting room.
If he’s toxic then no… sorry but any extra added stress is just not worth anything. If he wants to be at the hospital waiting till your ready for visits then fine. But your stress level is important. It’s about you and your baby. It’s your baby 100% no matter what.
I have two children & I’ve always just delivered with my mum with me…you have to decide what’s best for you it’s a big traumatic experience you need support not pressure.
I’d definitely say no!!! Find a family member or best friend to be there for u during this beautiful day of meeting ur precious new baby!!! Should be a good day not a drama day!!! He doesnt think the babe is his why should he be there after ur home and settled in I’d maybe think about takin a DNA test baby dont need to meet him if he ain’t his
If u think he is going to complicate the situation or bring drama, the answer is no… he can wait in the waiting room and see the baby after if he chooses… you dont want any added stress going into a major surgery
If your relationship is toxic & he is going to make things stressful, why do you even want to consider having in there? Geeze, he is also saying the baby is not his. That should be the icing on the cake.
Haven’t gone through this situation but I can’t imagine any reason as to why I would let this man be in the delivery room… is he even asking to be there? If he thinks the baby isn’t his or that you trapped him for child support ( which is laughable , he sounds like such a great catch ) why would he even want to be there?
No… if I were you I’d send him a text after the baby was born.
Do not do it if you are not comfortable. No need to add stress it can hurt you and the little!!! Find a close friend or one of you’re family members!!! Someone that will make the experience magical
Even if he is the father , it should be up to you , who you want in the room with you. It is so sad that that baby is not born and the parents are having problems. Sorry baby.
Nope. Its about you being able to calmly and safely welcome that baby into the world, and if he stresses you out then he can wait out in the waiting room like everyone else.
I don’t mean it to guilt so I hope you don’t receive it that way but something to keep in mind not just for this but for any future interaction with that father.
Anything you do from this point on you child will eventually know about unless you lie, even with a lie you hve no guarantee. So whatever you decide to do take a second and think, would I want this to be how my child sees me treating other especially their father? Everything you do now impacts that child, you need to take care of yourself as well but if you are able to take a step back and look, be honest and make sure you are okay with the father missing the birth, make sure it’s genuine that you can’t bear him being there and not a power play. Again I mean this in the most gentle way
That’s a big no for me.
Normally I’m for the dad to be able to be there for his child. But since hes denying it anyway and it’s a toxic situation I’d say no. Giving birth is such an emotional time as it is. You dont need that extra stress.
No. Especially if a csection you need to be as low stress as humanly possible. You’re the one giving birth, it’s about you and your comfort because they more relaxed and safe you feel the faster and better the delivery will be for the baby.
If you’re not comfortable with it I’d say no
I’d say, NO, he doesn’t have to be in the room with you since he stresses you out.
I said no and my mom was my person in the OR with me. A social worker sat with him the following morning while he visited our baby
If you think/know he’s the father, than he had every right to be in there.
I would say yes. If this is his child he has the right to see it come into the world. You have to learn to co-parent with this person for the next 18 years. Might as well start the minute the child catches its first breath.
I would say absolutely not, why would you want him in there after the way he has acted! You can do this as a single mommy!! Goodluck!
If what is said is true, why would he want to be there ?? Sounds like he has no interest in being a father…tell him you’ll have the courts contact him for a DNA test
No. I had two sections I couldn’t Picture Having someone who would stress me out in the room.
If you are sure the baby is his, I’d allow him at the hospital, but only if you are ok with it.
I was in this situation and I chose not to allow him in the delivery room once it began. We separated when I was 4 months pregnant due to his inability to want to be parent or make any lifestyle changes. I have never once regretted my decision. He broke my heart and didn’t deserve this piece of me. Him not seeing our child birthed didn’t make him any less or more of a father. He was at hospital as well as his family and we jointly celebrated but I didn’t allow him that intimate birth moment because he chose not to step up so he stepped out. Keep in mind time can heal wounds are ours has a relatively happy ending. When our child turned 4 we got back together. 4 years for him to grow up and realize what he should’ve all along. We’ve been back together 10 years and married for 2. You just never know when you’re young how you will evolve and grow as a person. But ultimately no if you have any reservations or discomfort toward the father than do not force yourse,lf to have him in there with you. Choose someone who can bring you comfort and a feeling of safety. Choose what’s best for you so you can be the best for your baby
If he wants to be there then I would let him, watching your child be born is a very special moment and it might be aa good way for him to bond with the baby. I’m sorry your relationship couldn’t work but maybe the two of you can enter in to this united and put your child first, could be a fresh clean slate. A start of a friendship and good co parenting.
I say no u need support not friction and him saying u got pregnant on purpose welll it takes two to get pregnant
I’m just gonna say I was almost in this same exact boat. We separated at 3 mo. Pregnant although there was never a doubt he was his (although he played that card in the divorce to try to not have to pay child support at all) there was no cheating lead to our separation he knew it was a con-artist issue I had married into. Anyway, I did feel I needed to allow him in the room during the birth of his child. Trying to be a decent human. Even tho he rarely prior nor since had been decent to me. Still I allowed it. It was by far one of my most worst memories and my best due to my son being birthed but the awkwardness it created and stress on me was threw the roof. Wasn’t like we were in a cordial place now he’s down at my lady bits and acting like a loving person he hadn’t shown me in any sense of the word just cause nurses were around. But when they would leave he just would want to fight about us!! It was the most uncomfortable and unpredictable experience I’ve ever b,een in and I felt no control over it. We were married per say unless you wanted to unload your whole life story at every shift change where you to do? Remember I was the one in the bed trying to have a baby. It was horrible. I’m not saying this is how every man would act. I just now from my experience with the same situation I would have to say NO if I could do it all again and deal w/opinions of others. It truly ruined my experience and it is a huge regret for me. Luckily he immediately after divorce ran off and never cared to continue to effect our lives negatively. Sadly I know some will say for my son. But in a way it’s a blessing!!! It’s been an absolute answered prayer that God took care of taking evil out of our lives. Good luck to you and I wish you nothing but the very best for you and your new baby!!
I had three c sections and I say no. You’re going to be going through a major surgery and you need support not extra stress. He’ll be ok waiting in the waiting room.
I don’t think he needs to be in there while you’re giving birth… If it’s okay with you he can come in right after. You should have somebody there that supports you through everything.
Tell him “Fuck Nooooo” just for the fact that he is questioning the baby’s paternity.This is your baby
You’ve got a few weeks to see how things go and if he gets his act together. He may not even want to be there. I’d say don’t commit to anything and if you feel different then you can always call him last minute.
Yes it could be a turning point for him but also he could completely destroy it and affect your bond with baby. He will likely be tending to the baby when it’s born until you are stitched up etc. Only you know. But it’s completely your choice you don’t owe him anything
Do not allow him in there.
It’s not about you or him. It’s about the baby.
If it’s not comfortable for you then no I wouldn’t allow it. It’s about your comfort during that time besides according to him it’s not his or was maliciously done so no. This is a life changing event for you to fully enjoy. Take it in mama!
Hell no. If my hubby (or even significant other) had accused me of the baby not being his during pregnancy I would’ve flipped. You need to be calm and relaxed, I would have a friend or other family member there to support you.
Just take someone that you know already loves the baby regardless. He can wait outside.
No. Have somebody there to support you and make the experience positive.
If he’s denying the baby, I wouldn’t. He can wait for a paternity test.
Yep. I’ve gone through it, due in 2 weeks and even though our child definitely is his (& there’s never been infidelity on my end), & I’m willing to even prompt a dna test (although it’d be a waste of money), he doesn’t fully acknowledge it that he’s the father & several times has told me he won’t be there when our child is born. It’s incredibly disheartening.
If it’s going to make it a negative experience for you, I would vote no! You want someone who will support you! Good luck momma!
I think if he actually wants to be there, it would be good for him. Maybe he’ll start thinking straight after seeing y’alls child born and stop giving you crap.
I honestly was in the same situation with my daughter 6 years ago. I allowed him in the room “to be nice” and HUGELY regret it. He caused a lot of emotional stress.
If it were me I wouldn’t. It’s supposed to be a special time for YOU and I’ve heard that c sections are very stressful and you need to be relaxed and take it easy. Dont put yourself in a situation that’s only going to stress you out. If he wants to be there let him wait in the waiting room until after the procedure is done and then let him see you and the little one. And if he really doubts it get the DNA test done good luck to you and that precious baby.
Having him in the delivery room would seem to stressful knowing how toxic you are together.
I would bc he has the right to be there just as much if y’all was together
I wouldn’t have an asshole who doesn’t believe he’s the father to witness the birth of a child that he says isn’t his. Fuck that. Have someone who supports you and is helpful
Say no tell hospital and don’t let him
If it is detrimental to your mental health that he be there then no.
Child birth is stressful enough. No need to add more stress.
Ummm no. I think you already know that in your heart. Tell him bye now
You do what makes you comfortable at that time it’s about you and your comfort he can see the baby after
Only if you want him there. Birth is not a spectator sport and no one has the right to be there, except you (you don’t get a choice ). It is physically the hardest thing you’ll ever go through in your entire life, and if a person is toxic or doesn’t bring you joy or support, don’t invite them in.
My husband was with me but were married and have a great relationship. However, in this situation I would say no. I wouldn’t let anyone that’s toxic for me in there regardless of who it is. You need to remain calm and have support in that moment, not be dealing with someone like this.
Its a once in a lifetime thing something he can never get back. With that being said i would tell him yes but he is not to talk to you and inform the nurses that yall arebt on good terms and if he tries anything he is to leave the room immediately. If he is the father i wouldnt take that away from him.
Yup been there done that. Best decision I made for my health of myself and child was to have the father come after the birth. Do what’s best for you and the baby, not what you think others want you to do. We videoed the birth to share afterwards so there was some sort of compromise.
If you feel it will add stress to the delivery, it sounds like you have made your decision already.
I did go with my sister .
You want the least stress possible while in the delivery room so if he will cause stress then he shouldnt be there! My hubby wasnt in with me during delivery because he doesnt do well watching me in pain but he was there right before and after. Same with my second born and we will do the same when our 3rd is born. Except with number 2 and now number 3 he will have the others
it is your feelings about the situation that matters. if you feel it will stress you or he won’t add to the experience then don’t let him in there.
If he is questioning the child being his, them absolutely not. Second on top of that your not in a relationship and you don’t get along, again no. He can wait outside the OR and be told how the baby is doing. After that he can wait on DNA test.
Get your mom or a friend to be there with you. You don’t need his shit. He already thinks it’s not his. You can worry about clearing that up later. Your recovery will be rough so only keep supportive people around and let them help you.
You xont need ths sfress shils having a c section. Have somdone your close to be atyour side to celebrate this special day. Happy Bithday littls one
I would say if you don’t your very selfish! It’s about the CHILD not you or him! Fathers have rights too
ABSOLUTELY! His child too. Don’t be selfish! He wants that memory as well.
Nope. Take someone that loves you. The dad can see the baby after.
No. You need support not stress at that time
your birth is about you!! i refused a lot of visitors because it can be stressful. but make sure someone u love is there because having support means a lot in that time. if he is willing to be a father to the baby maybe he will support u while you go through labor? either way, it is entirely up to you and don’t feel bad either way
No way! Don’t make the same mistake I did.
I delivered by C section and would not advice you to include him in this.
If the baby is actually his and he actually wants to be in the room then I’d say let him witness the birth of his biological child birth. Besides he’ll be able to witness all the pain of child birth and will go easy on you with his toxicants afterwards. Also once he knows 100% the baby is actually his I’m sure he’ll grow up.
Nope . I’d want someone with me who cares about me and I wouldn’t want the stress . He’s more than welcome to see the baby after but he can wait …
He can wait outside if he really wants to be apart of it, just for the sake of the baby. But it’s not his right to be in there while you are at your most vulnerable. You need time to breastfeed/skin to skin/bond and just general rest.
As someone who is a daughter of parents who are toxically split I hated that some of the most important things in my life was missed because of it. And even though baby won’t remember it is important for father-child bonding that the father is present. If you look at studies a lot of fathers loose some of the interest being away from the child too long.
You labour and delivery is about you! But once you’ve had your time out of kindness and love for the child let his father see him
If you want to be with this insult I’ve jerk than sure. If you’re like me and think that those immature and hurtful comments are most likely an indication of his maturity level and how little he thought of me than hell no. Stay away from garbage toxic people. If you don’t want drama avoid it and life is easier.
No! I fell for the “he has the right…”, “It’s his baby too”, “if you don’t want me there it must not be mine” etc. It was 1000xs more stressful having him there for support when he wasn’t supportive. You’d be better off without him there even if that means you have to be alone. Since he’s claiming you got pg on purpose for child support (which is laughable. Unless he’s mega rich you aren’t going to get rich off CS, his court ordered payment isn’t going to cover half of babies needs even) & that the child isn’t his I wouldn’t even tell him you’re in labor or that baby is born. Cut him & everyone associated to him off from social media & everything. Let him find out when he gets the state letter asking for support. Let the state investigate his income before he has a chance to quit his job, work under the table or any other tatic they use to pay less for their kids. If you don’t want him involved at all because he’s toxic & you don’t want that around your child then don’t even try to get CS. Leave him in the dark. Remember a court order doesn’t mean you’ll ever get anything but it does put your child in the system. It gives him the right to control where you live, what school you want to put him, whether you baptise your child etc. He can pay nothing & never see your kids but take you to court constantly.
Nope…a family member or a friend.
Hell no! if he’s denying the baby why TF does he want to be there
If doesn’t believe baby is his I sure wouldn’t let him in delivery room.
Hell no! He can wait in the hallway and see the baby after its born. NO way would I allow someone in the room who was not totally supportive during that time.