If this is causing you stress to hell with him. I say F, him move on Karma is a real B!!
Iâd get the full amount and start putting the excess into an account for your daughterâs future. He doesnât seem like he carries the emotional weight of having a child so if he can afford to financially support the one he brought into the world then he should be held accountable. Best of luck and well done for going to counseling and working through your trauma 
Get him to pay full support. It isnât about you. Its about your daughter.
If you dont need the money put it into savings for her. It might help with the guilt and she can use it for college. It will give her a massive jump start and save you from that stress of college funds etc etc.
Some (note some before I get jumped on) dads will try to get out of helping. It sounds like he is taking advantage and manipulating the situation
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You really dont have the right to give away your daughters support⌠let the court use the child support calculator and he pays what it says to payâŚits not about the money for you its money for your daughter! If you dont need it then set it aside for her when she starts college or needs extras
He should be paying you both created a child itâs at both of your expenses. What I tell myself is, if he was still there heâd be paying so why is it different when heâs not living there. Itâs for her, yes. But it will help both of you in the long run, just like it would him contributing if you two still lived together. Take the money, itâs her right!!
Donât feel guilt.its only fair.
If you donât need it why bother?
It is fair to ask for more. However as someone who had to endure years of child support b.s. and court dates, sometimes itâs just better to let a sleeping dog lie.
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Yes!!! He should be supporting his child with you equally!!
Totally fair. The fact that he does not exercise his visitation rights is irrelevant. He should pay the full amount, and if you truly do not NEED it, then put it in a college savings account for your daughter.
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I would absolutely expect HIM to support HIS daughter! No if and or buts about it. Iâm glad you make enough money but I agree with others when they say, this didnât about you. Itâs about being responsible for HIS CHILD!! End of story!
Of course he should be responsible for any and all child support allowed by law! As they grow, their expenses go up! Stop worrying about his " financial burdon"!! Your counselor is telling you to do whats best for your daughterâŚstop doing what youâve been lead to believe is âbestâ for your ex! Stand up and do the âright thingâ for you and your daughterâŚ!!!
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Yes he should be responsible for his child.
He helped to create your beautiful child, he can help support her. His finances are not your concern, meaning itâs not your job to make sure he has money to help support your daughter. Let his burdens be his and yours yours. And I agree with your therapist this isnât about you or even him. Itâs about your child and her future.
You should get the full amount from him if he was still married to you he have to be paying something and for all that you do of being a full-time mom and dad why are you so concerned about how he feels financially he should be paying for her more than what youâre asking you never know whatever relief it can be for you less of a burden and more for your child take the full amount
Girl please!!! The least you can do is make him pay for the heartache he is causing your daughter, she may not Express it now but when she gets older she will want to know why he wasnât a bigger part of her life. Make him pay if you dint need the money or want it put it in a college fund for her. From 5 to 18 is a whole lot of money to be put away for her.
Absolutely , even if you just put it in the bank for college, sheâs is entitled to it and if he dosent exercise his visitation heâs loosing out, good luck momma
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Pay full I had to even on disability I played I paid every dime donât make it easy it took two to lay and make her sheâs not a burned she, s a child if you donât want to lose it then put it in a college fund
I would go after the child support he owes you and like Dana said put it towards a college plan for your daughter
Iâll say that I originally shared your logic. Not only is it based on income, but your daughter deserves that support. Mine use their support for karate and the rest goes in a savings account for a car/college/weddings⌠whatever it is that they will eventually need. If it makes you feel better, tell her itâs from her dad.
Completely fair! He should be contributing also not just you. Put the money into a savings account if you donât feel right spending it but either way he should be helping out alot more than what he does.
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Yes! They calculate according to what he should pay based on his salary and the childâs expenses. It is ok to put your daughter first. I love the idea of starting a savings for her for college, wedding, car etc.
Yes. If you feel uncomfortable spending the money start her a savings account for college
Yes, put it away for her to help with college, wedding, 1st house or something.
if you feel weird about it you can take the amount you receive and put it into an account for your child that they can access when they are 18
This question is totally unnecessaryâŚOF COURSE IT IS!!!
Well do you pay the full amount for your daughter? If yes then its fair for him 2 it takes 2 to make a baby not one .
Make him pay the full amount. My ex paid $12 a week (thatâs all that was court ordered) for the last 9 years. The kids wanted to stay with him this year and he filed is getting $166 a week from me and tried to get the judge to get me to pay for things he promised the kids in addition to. If roles were reversed you would have to pay
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Yes !! itâs fair!! If the money isnât needed put into a savings account for the future,
Yes, it is fair. Your counselor is right, she deserves that money. If you do not need the extra income, put it in a separate account for her. That will be a wonderful surprise for her when she is older. Especially with the cost of college these days. Student loans are no joke. Good luck to you and your daughter.
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Yes it would be fair to ask. He helped bring her into this world. Support should reflect that.
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Yes! Take him to court for sure. He has a responsibility to help pay for her needs AND her wants! My senior in high school is expecting a child in June⌠he is already setting back half of each paycheck for the baby, and money for his welding business with the other. He is only 17
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Of course itâs fair. lol. Why wouldnât it be? Especially since you have her 100% of the time and pay for everything. The only time child support isnât fair is when both parents have 50/50 physical custody.
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Yes! Reevaluate in court and request the full amount. You can set that money to the side for savings or college, or even a car. She is his daughter too.
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Your therapist is correct. Itâs not about you. Your daughter deserves whatever the judge deems fair. Itâs money for her and her needs.
If heâs not invested in seeing his daughter thatâs on him. Just let your daughter know she is loved by you and whomever is in her life. There is nothing wrong with her and its her fatherâs choice. Let her be angry with him.
Go to court for her.
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Yes, I was in a similar but stranger situation. I regret not taking him back for more support when his job changed 4-5 years ago. My daughter could use that money now for college.
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Ask the full amount. Considering you pay for everything else except half the daycare and he seems like he takes every chance he can NOT to pay⌠Go after it. You should NOT have to foot all of the bills for your child alone, regardless how much money you each make. Especially since you have custody
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Yes, absolutely. It would be different if he helped with some of the costs but he doesnât seem to take the initiative to do so. He seems very selfish and it isnât unreasonable that he pay to help support his child. $98.00 a month is nothing especially when you look at the medical insurance you are paying for alone. I use to get paid weekly and they took 78$ a paycheck for me and my son. So yes, you should absolutely get everything your daughter is entitled to and not feel a bit bad about it.
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Absolutely! Whether he chooses a relationship with your daughter or not, she is his child and he definitely needs to support her. Your child deserves it.
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Yes it is fair, itâs his child too. He needs to be helping you with this stuff, especially anything medical or dental. I understand you donât want to burden him, but it really shouldnât be a burden, that is his child. If he sees it as a burden, then thatâs on him, it takes 2 to make a child.
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She is his daughter too. He ABSOLUTELY should be paying. If you donât need the money for her daily care, put it in a college fund for her. She deserves his support financially even if he doesnât offer much any other way. He should be ashamed of himself for not taking it upon himself to do that for his child.
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He is a parent also. If he doesnât share the emotional support load (a few hours a week!), the least he can do is help with financial support. Donât do it it to be vindictive, but merely fair. I particularly like anotherâs suggestion about putting those funds in a separate account earmarked for your childâs upper education. Itâs only fair.
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Thatâs whatâs wrong with women they r too nice to their ex. U didnt make ur daughter alone he did help. He should be paying child support and have insurance for her. Stop letting him b in control u need to take control of it now. Take his sorry butt to court
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I think the father should âshareâ the expenses. The daughter belongs to both of you. Iâve never believed in gouging the other parent just because you can. Also have a conversation w/him about financial preparation for her college and start that savings process.
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Yes, he is responsible for her. It was a 50/50 effort to make the child. The responsibility needs to be from both him and you.
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Your counselor is right. Dad needs to step up and take some financial responsibility for his child.
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Get your full amount! I did the same thing until my daughter needed a car and her dad wouldnât help them I ask for help. He said no so I took him back to court and double his child support
He doesnât seem to contribute much at all. I agree with the other ladies, take that money and bank it. It is and will be for her, there will come a time where you will be shopping for prom dresses, a car, college, weddingâŚthis little stash could be dog-eared for any one of these things. Maybe I wouldnât let her know it was there so she didnât try to get you to tap into it too soon. Good LuckâŚ
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yes it would be fair to ask for the full amount, your child deserves to be taken care of to best of both parents ability,
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Hell yes, appears that your allowing him to make a nice retirement account. Itâs only fair that itâs split 50/50. If he doesnât want to participate in her life, thatâs on him. Chances are you will be paying for her college so might just start saving.
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Whatâs the harm in asking for full? She is still his daughter!
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Yes, she deserves it. Put it away for college or a car if that would make you feel better about it.
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Iâm trying to figure out why that would be a burden? He helped make her, he needs to help take care of her. Itâs his responsibility as a father and parent.
You both have equal responsibility to raise that child including financially. He should be paying full child support, and half of all other expenses including half of all copays and insurance premiums. He is responsible just as you are and half the cost of raising the child are his responsibility.
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If you do not âneedâ the money, then ask for it and put it I to an account for your daughter. Then if your own situation ever changed or u became Iâll, then she would be better taken care of. She would be able to use the money for a car or college, hopefully so she could go to school and not leave with a load of debt.
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When women let their husbands off so easy like that it gives them free reign to go out and propagate more children for other women to have to take care of because they do not feel the repercussions of their actions.
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He had a part in bringing her into this world. You are doing her an injustice by not pursuing this and enabling him to be a dead beat dad. Put the money in an account for her for when she stats college or whatever , but he helped create her and he should help take responsibility for his half!!
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You need to stop thinking about him and his financial welfare and start thinking about your daughter! she is his daughter also itâs time he does his part!!! You act like youâre afraid to rock the boat with him may be thinking he wonât love you well if he loved you heâd be with you wouldnât he? Now start thinking about your daughters future!!!
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Get the money then put it in a savings account for her when she is older⌠I mean unless you need the money for things now
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It is about your daughter. Not him, and itâs not for you. You are not doing something wrong.
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Absolutely, and whatever you donât need or use should go into a savings account for your daughter.
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Quit seeing the counselor. That none of his business. Get out the Bible and ask GOD for guidance. But ur ex could cough up more or pay half of other things.
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He should pay the full amount, help with medical bills, help with daycare bills and anything else your daughter needs
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Donât go after more money and enjoy the fact he is minimally involved. Your life and your daughterâs are better without him.
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I think you should read your statement again and ask yourself why are you not trying to financially burden him for his own child?? Considering he is earning more than you and does not have any other financial responsibility anymore.
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Sheâs getting older and her needs are greater. His income/expenses have changed and he can and should pay more. You were kind and considerate in the past but you need more help now.
Yes I would take the full amount, and if you donât actually need it to support her, then put it into and account to help with college or an account where she can take it out at a certain age and then she can use it for a down payment on a house, a car, or whatever she wants
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Yes itâs fair, did u create this child yourself?! He helped, he has to share that financial burden, not make u pay 100% if u dont need the $, set up an account for her and save it, give it to her when she graduates high school, she may need it for college one day!
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Get the full amount. You and your daughter deserve it. As she grows older everything costs more. I did the same thing and a judge once told me you will kick yourself in the behind in five years if you donât. Should have listened.
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Yes, he has just as much responsibility in her care and upbringing as you do. You are not asking for anything out of the ordinary.
You need to make up your mind because in all reality child support is for the girls. Last I knew if a child is under the age of 25 in college both parent have responsibilities for the kid. The child support is for the kids and they deserve it and need it. He donât care about the girls, at lease he can be made to pay.
I donât see how pushing this will serve anyone well. His care and kindness are clearly not on his children. Heâs a person to be pitied.
Do whatâs best for the child. And as a parent, he has his responsibility too. Donât think about his burden cause heâs not thinking about yours or the child. If you feel his addition means nothing and youâre fine with that but the fact you asked us, I can only say just let him pay what is owed to the child
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Your counselor is so right. As your child gets older, she will require more. I raised my 2 girls on my own and rarely got child support. I finally went to child support recovery and they hit his income tax check and not nearly enough in comparison of what he owed but it was something. I noticed you said a couple of times that you didnât want to burden him. Thatâs his child as well. Go after him for your child. Has nothing to do with you. He is obligated to his child. I have lived it. I had a pretty good job so he thought he had no obligation to ME. No , he had no obligation to me but he did to his children. Go to court and make sure you are your childâs advocate. So important!!!
By not getting the full amount you are cheating your child. Since you are ok financially, put the child support in a special account for her-something may arise where you need it or it could be for college. You owe it to HER to receive the full amount.
Your counselor is correct, this is for your daughter, put in the bank then when you may need something extra for her you will have it, plus it will start a nest egg for college, trade school, it will be a great relief to have that money to help with her education past high school, good luck
AbsolutelyâŚyou r both her parentsâŚThere are a lot of expenses coming up when she is a little older and you never have enough money!!!
i think when your daughter is old enough to understand she may see his financial support as an indication that he loved and cared about her. thst would be important since hedoesnt today really see her at all.
First, have the conversation- If he agrees then get it in writing and NotarizedâŚThis way heâs not blindsided but if he says No, at least he knows you mean business and itâs not $$$ fir you- this is money to do for your daughter- Whether thatâs a roof over her head, food, clothes, medical, etcâŚ
Glad you have your child covered under health insurance. He owes what the court deemed necessary to take care of your child. Itâs time for you to do the right thing for your child.
Well the system is broke. Legally and ethically yes he should pay. 7 years here and maybe every 6 month visits for about 2 hours each. He can come every week door is always open. I would never consider support a way to sustain. If I had it it would be âextra moneyâ. The system barely enforces it and you canât count on it. Emotionally and financially we are great and again my door is always open!
You need to go back to court and get more money for childcare, medical and living expenses. He need to be accountable for his daughter. If the judge rules fir it, themibey will be handled by the courts to assure you get it.
Yes it is certainly fair. He not only is not living up to his responsibilities in doing his share to support his daughter but he sounds like a lousy father.
You shouldnât even have to ask! Are you kidding me? Thatâs his daughter too! He helped make her. And he should be held responsible . He not only needs to pay his part but he also should share his time with her. She dont need a part time dad. Sounds to me like you have two people needing to be babied. Your daughter and your ex.
Itâs great that you can well support her on your own, but donât let pride stand in your way. Put the funds into a college account, or a trust so she can access them when she eis older.
I too was in the same situation for 5years I didnât ask my boys dad for a penny. Its was out side marriage so my kids didnât know him much nor spent time with him. Everything I gave him a chance to see my boys, he messed things for my kids, he was not a men of promises, the day of the court he beg me to please say he was supporting my kids,if not that he was going to I enforce his Wright. A friend of mine advised me,that it was not fair, if I decided to forgive him his debt and not have him pay for been so selfish. I took the stand asked for the full amount even back pay. 20 years later he still owes back pay.
GET the full amount and put it away for your daughters future.
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Talk to him first, tell him a part will be put in savings for her education. She needs more now as sheâs older and needs more.
Yes completely fair and if you dont need to use all of it every month you can always use part of it to start a trust for her
Yes. Your counselor is right. This is the money to help raise the child the two of you had together. If you donât need the money to pay the expenses you are covering for her than put it in a separate account for her to help with college or an apart when she is ready. It would be a great help to her in starting on her own one day.
yes, you should get what she deserves. help pay her bills, buy her things she needs, or put some away for her if you can for when sheâs older if you donât want to spend it.
I ask for the full amount since he doesnât pay for anything and hardly sees her. If it makes you feel better put it away in savings for her for when she graduates school.
He absolutely should be paying the maximum allowed in your jurisdiction based in his income. He owes it to HIS child to provide for her financially and if he chooses not to take his visitations then he will pay the price later when she is old enough to understand what he has done to her. Do not let him off the hook. Take the money and bank it for her needs later if you can handle the expenses now. I am sure expenses will only increase as she gets older!! He has a moral and financial obligation to provide for his child and you need to advocate for her to receive all that she is due.
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Of course, itâs fair. He helped create her, doesnât seem to do anything else for her. Therefore, the full amount of child support is the least he could do. If you donât want to use it, put it in the bank and give it to your daughter when she moves out on her ownâŚIâm sure that would help her.
Get the full amount for your kids. I donât know much on child support if it eases the blow on him and you are not hurting for money maybe somehow get the judge to make him contribute to a college fund. That way there is know argument that the money is going directly to her benefit. Regardless your child should get full child support
I have a feeling there are a lot of men reading this that wish they divorced you. Wow!! Extremely generous to a man who NEEDS and SHOULD be Finacially responsible for a child he fathered. JMO
I agree with those that say get all your daughter is entitled to. If you donât need it now, put it away/invest it. You MAY need it for her in the future. Better to be prepared. If you donât need it at all while your daughter is growing up, pay for a college education. BUT, I urge you to guide her towards a community/jr college. SO much $ can be saved.
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You shouldnât look at it as is it fair if you and him was still together in same house he would be responsible as an adult to pay his part without a judgement order . so yes he should pay for it as her father
Yes absolutely. Your daughter should be able to live the same life she did when you were married. She is half of his responsibility and he shouldnât be let off the hook.
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Yes it would be more than fair to ask him to pay his fair share of his childâs expenses.
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