Should I ask my daughters father to help cover tuition?

My daughter will be starting pre-k this Fall. The only school convenient to work and home is private and goes up to middle school. Her father and I are not together, but he pays child support, the court-ordered. Would it be ok to ask him to help with tuition if he already pays child support? I told him I was going to enroll her, and he never offered to help. This seems like a wonderful school and a good opportunity. I would like for my daughter to stay in until she ages out. But as she gets older, tuition is more expensive.

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I would ask him, it’s his daughter too.

You should definitely discuss it with him. If you don’t ask you won’t know. Keep in this in mind if you ever go back to court over child support. Ask that half the tuition be part of the child support.

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Typically your child support order would list both of your percentages you are required to pay for out of pocket medical, daycare and education costs.

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It never hurts to ask. However unfortunately he is not obligated to pay for a private school education. If you want him to help you may need to go to court to ask for that with an updated child support order .

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You can ask but he doesn’t have to pay anything unless it’s court ordered.

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I would ask. But be ready for a No.
Talk to the school about financial aid too.

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No child support should go towards tuition.

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I would still ask. Just because he pays child support doesn’t mean he can’t help with helping with your LOs school. Parents normally pay well over what the other parent would pay in child support for their child. Custodial parents don’t get to just “cap out” at spending the same amount they receive in child support from the other parent. It’s worth a shot to ask!

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Yes. Child support covers daily needs ie clothes, food, shelter, ect. Other costs such as medical, school, extracurricular should be split. Did u have a custody agreement? A custody agreement should address these extra costs.

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I doubt they would make him pay it as public school is always an option and it is your choice to put her in a private school

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Most agreements every extras for this child like school, camp, doctors, activities etc should be split and not apart of the child support. This depends if you have a custody agreement

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You can ask you can always petition the court to readjust

Its ur choice to send her to private school he has nothing to do with that decision why should he be responsible for paying for ur choice

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Child support? What’s that? I wouldn’t know, i chose not to get anything from my sperm donor. If i were you in your situation, i would ask. But if he says no, you do whatever is best for your child…

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Go back to court. You can ask for help with tuition in court.

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In my experiences…good luck!! Lol! Wouldn’t hurt to ask…but I’m sure his response might go something like this, " the extra cost is YOUR choice, the child could go to a public school for free" not knowing him, he might agree that that would be best for the child!!:crossed_fingers:

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No. If you receive child support that’s what that should go towards, especially because it is a decision it sounds like you made before asking his opinion.

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This is what you want for convenience, I get it, but no he won’t have to pay.

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You can ask, but that doesn’t mean he’ll be forced to pay it. Stuff like that has to be agreed upon. Although I guess every state is different

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I might be in the minority, but if my husband’s baby mama asked for more money just so she could send my stepdaughter to a private school because it’s the most convenient, I’d lose my mind. :woman_shrugging:t3: That’s 100% a choice to put her in a private school.

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Depends on the amount he pays monthly vs how much he has her and how much tuition is.
It may be something you guys can verbally agree to if not modify your order and have it amended to have him split the cost of tuition

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If he won’t help, you can call child support and explain the situation and see if they will do a review to include “child care/school” in his support order

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Use your cbd support for it

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In my state a parent can ask for the court to add private school tuition in child support- but it’s not automatically granted. The custodial parent has to show that that both parents can afford private school -or that the child would have most likely been attending private school had the parents not gotten divorced. Oftentimes it’s not an easy battle for the custodial parent to win.

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I wouldn’t get use to him paying it. They can always stop paying at any time. CS isn’t guarenteed.

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If you Receive any child support, that is technically all the money he is obligated to give to you- if you really want the help from him, you will probably need to go back to court to redo your child support affidavit- and you will need to have very good reason as to why she needs to go to this school and not a school that is state funded- you’re better off just paying for it yourself if you want her to go there so badly.

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No, it’s something you want for your daughter. I understand it is better for her but it’s your choice.
(It’s not wrong of you to ask if he would be interested in this, but don’t make him feel obligated for convenience. If he says no that’s as far as it should go )

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You can always go back to court an have it court ordered but it doesn’t hurt to ask him first I don’t have my kids father on child support so if I ask for help with something I get it

My daughters dad and I have an agreement. He pays for all child care and doesn’t give me monthly child support beyond that since it’s such a big expense

Wouldn’t hurt to ask. You’re not putting yourself in a worse position by asking-go for it! He may see the value in the school the same as you do.

Private school is expensive and is a decision that should be made jointly.

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Check with the states education department for scholarships.

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Check with school if they offer any tuition grants.

There are a lot of parenting plans that include education expenses as additional expenses in addition to child support that will be split between both parties if this clause isn’t already in your parenting plan, you would have to request to have it amended. In WA state you can split college tuition as well.

…that’s what child support is for.

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My court order had the child support which came out of his pay and went to the support u it then me. But for medical bills and day care etc he had to pay 56%. To me after I sent him the info through certified letters.

Why yeh it wouldn’t hurt him

Did you guys discuss putting her in this school together? I would ask it wouldn’t hurt. But if it’s a choice you made on your own just remember that going into the conversation.

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My father paid child support and had to pay half of school fees and half of school supply’s :woman_shrugging:t2:

Go back to court and have it added into the child support.

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The child support you get should be cut in half then. You pay half of the school and he pays half…

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Try a Charter School. Its Semi private and higher education but doesnt require tuition just the cost of uniforms. And it also goes up to through middle school as well.

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Absolutely he can help, maybe half?

He already pays child support, that’s included in the child support is it not? The child’s needs? School is included in that. You have to pay your part as well, he pays child support and also pays when he’s with his child so he does his part.

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100% ask! My hubby pays support and then child care is a separate payment

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Ask but dont get mad if he says NO, public school is free.

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In Michigan, you would go to the courts and provide them with the bills of any extra expenses. They will add it to his next months child support so he will have to help, also goes for dental bills, drivers ed expenses ect.

You could see about taking him back to court for more help mainly for the tuition part that way it’s at least court ordered that he help with that. Or just ask.

My daughters father only pays me child support, but I use her support to pay her tuition (also a private school,kind of same scenario - perfect location and worked out for pickup and drop off times) I applied for a scholarship so I factored that in to my budgeting. I don’t “need” his support anymore so it would just be building up in a savings account for her if I didn’t use it for school/christmas/emergencies.

Child support does not always include school expenses if the child was not school aged at the time support was ordered for those of you saying thats what it is for the child support will need re evaluated

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Many private schools have grants and other ways to help with tuition especially if your a single parent/mother. Ask the school and if not then ask the father or go back to court

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In my state if he pays child support & u choose to put ur child in a private school thats on u. Technically & legally he doesn’t have to help out because thats what the child support covers…
hopefully that helps

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I would definitely ask. Also check for scholarships

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I would call your child support case worker and see how it works in your state.
When my daughter was in daycare, her father was legally obligated to pay for half in addition to his court order child support (I didn’t know until after the fact.)

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Where I am schooling extra curriculums ect are on top of child support

Let him know you would appreciate his financial assistance for her tuition, as it is also an investment in her education/future, but if he chooses not to help, you’re on your own. The decision to send her to the school of your choice, for your own benefit of location convenience, etc, is your choice, not his. It would be great if he wanted to contribute, but you are the one choosing a private school, not him.

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All depends on your state. My sons father was never required to pay half of tuition because I was the one who decided on private school. When we went for child support he asked the judge if he would be required to pay and she said absolutely not we have great public education right here for free. Now before and after school programs he would be responsible for because that’s child care. But private education is not necessary the judge said. And I completely agreed with her wasn’t even asking him to pay half.

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If you have to pay for your child’s schooling then the child support can be reconfigured with that included.

I would ask him, maybe he doesn’t want her in private school. Why do you get to pick and choose what school she goes to Public school is free.

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You could try, but I know in MS, it’s not mandatory, so don’t expect much. :woman_shrugging:t3:

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What’s wrong with the free public school? If u have chosen the private school over a free one then personally it should be you paying for it . He gives u child support also …

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In most states you can take him back to court they sometimes make the father responsible for 50% of school and medical needs. It’s worth checking in to

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Im all about dads taking care of their kids. But in this case he already pays support, I would ask but if he doesn’t want to, dont make a big deal about it.

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I would say if you both can reasonably split the cost then go for it…if not it definitely wouldn’t be fair. for the ones whom say suck it up…would you say the same thing if it was her paying child support and her ex had her pay?

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Never know what he’ll say unless you ask. My first child support order was just for child support although he never abided. When my daughter turned 12 her father thought he could get custody so we amended his child support order to include child support plus half of all education, extra curricular activities, and medical ; since I provided insurance, didn’t get back support for the first 9 years, and paid everything myself for her, even clothes and food for visits.

You have every right to ask him. If he says no… Looks like you have to live with that. Unless it is in your parenting plan, you can’t force anything. A private school is your choice.
I hope you have a good enough relationship with your child’s father that you can agree on what is best for your child.

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Ask him for help. If he refuses you can go back for more support to help cover her schooling. There is no guarantee he will be ordered to pay half because it is your choice to enroll in a private school and not public.

Talk to him about it. See what happens. Worse case scenario you go to court regarding financial circumstances and ask for an amendment. If they don’t allow it then you’ll have to do your best to make ends meet.

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Absolutely. In a Divorce Decree (Can’t speak for all.) But my Daughter’s College Tuition, Vehicle/Insurance and a number of other things was all Ordered separate from Child Support.

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The thing is… if u ask and he agrees today, but then he gets mad at you in 6 months and decides to stop paying… then you are stuck with the bill. My advice is not to chance it. If you can’t afford it on your own, either enroll her somewhere else or take him back to court and get it put in the court order.

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You need to talk it out definitely, but if you chose the school and he seems to not have had an actual conversation about your daughter’s education. From the post, you say it was convenient for work and home… your convenience is not his obligation, so he very well could decline. But it’s great that your daughter has this opportunity!

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If he says no, is there the possibility of just using the child support to help cover some tuition costs

Absolutely! Anything that will benefit the child. I had two attend private school, I paid for one and he paid for the other. This was outside of child support.

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You can ask but be ready for him to say no… if he says yes, then that’s great but do have a plan B option for public school.

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Yes, it’s okay to ask. I don’t know if he legally has to help for stuff like that, but it doesn’t hurt to try!

Yes. If you took it to court, chances are, he’d have to pay half of that, on top of child support. It’s a one time a year cost. So it isn’t like he would be paying that, on top of the child support every month. But, not being court ordered, there’s also a chance he won’t agree. And you’ll have to try and take it to court. Which will take awhile. And if granted, be past time that it is due. So don’t rely on it if you ask. And make sure you can pay it, in case he doesn’t agree to help.

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You can take him to court and ask for a court order she starting pre -k which almost all Pre-K you have to pay for so they should make him pay half. Or just pay it all yourself. My daughter goes to private I pay it and I don’t get child support

You need to talk to him and see if he can financially handle that extra expense. If he can’t then you need to understand and move on. Any extra expense for my daughter that I want her to do that her dad doesn’t agree with I pay for. I also understand he has a household separate from ours and has other children to think of also.

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I hate to play devil’s advocate but I think he should have a say in where she goes if he’s going to be asked to pay for it. If it’s that good of a school then he would want her to go there and this be willing to pay. But I’m making a lot of assumptions when saying that. My kids dad wouldn’t pay for something if it were the best opportunity in the world. Good luck however it works out.

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Welp, you can ask… mabe use the child support? It’s not a school she HAS to go to so I’m not sure he’d HAVE to. You can always ask, but understand: 1 he may not have to, 2 even if he does agree he could stop at any time. Never do something you yourself cannot afford in the event he stops.

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You are choosing to send her to a private school because it is convenient for you not because it is in her best interest or because it is superior to any local public school. Your convenience isn’t his obligation and no judge is going to order him to pay for private school if it isn’t necessary. You can ask but it is highly doubtful he would agree.

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If he says no I would honestly consider taking it back for evaluation to be added into child support. Just as when she gets older college tuition should also be a joint expense. I feel education is important from pre-k to college. I would ask and if the tables were turned then I would be the one asking if we would be putting our child in private school anyways. Some private schools are superior to the surrounding public schools.

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Ask, but if he says no, then use your child support for tuition. As for being in a revised court order, private education isn’t required. My son went to private school for kindergarten and first grade because they had an aftershcool program on site. There were no daycare options in our risk school system. But my ex refused to help. And if I had taken him to court, it likely would not have been approved, even though we had discussed when he was first born. In the end, I had to put my son in public school because his father refused any other type of school. He’s taken me back for that and twice when I homeschooled him. I homeschooled my son because he wouldn’t go to public school. He hated it. But that didn’t matter. He is homeschooled now as a high schooler, but only because my son recorded his father giving him permission.

Depends on what is in the custody papers and the laws in your state. Most child custody agreements have the parents splitting the cost of daycare/school tuition. Read your papers well and see exactly what y’all agreed too, and if you need too, always consult an attorney on any decisions that may be legal in nature.

I know some states if the father is paying child support as well as school fees the child support amount usually goes down

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As a single mom myself, I did ask her dad and he refused to pay. So I made the decision and I make it happen. You can apply for financial aid from the school and not count his income. Private school is a luxury and therefore not a required split expense.

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So I’m torn on which way to go but by re reading ur post u say basically it is convenient for u for the child to be in that private school well in that case yes u should pay for it ur self but if u are looking or saying it to be the best decision for the child then I would say sit down and talk with him and see what he can do to help I dont believe the court can put a direct number on child support I mean they make him a pay a portion but we all no that set price is not half of what that child needs or deserves so in this case yes it was written for convenience not not the best interest of child so u need to figure out what u can afford

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I feel like that’s what child support is for And if it’s what you want you should up your income. I’m saying this however as a mom who never revived child support and wanted my daughter in private daycare,I got another job to pay for it.

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Yes, ask him to help. If he refuses file a petition to modify your child custody agreement. It’s a change in circumstance so you can request it and he’ll have to pay a portion of it. Or you can settle on an amount yourselves and petition the court to add that into the custody agreement. Maybe this varies by state - I’m not sure but at least in PA I know this can be done.

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Yes he should help thats not covered from child support

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You can ask him and it would be nice if he did but not legally obligated. When your child support case is to be renewed (in PA, it’s every 3 years), you can ask for a review to include this expense.

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No that was your choice. I do not ask my child’s dad for extra help for anything. He pays child support and that is what a court order says. You do it on your own.

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I think it depends on how much he pays in child support and what his financial situation is like.

I would ask but if he says no, have a back up plan to pay it yourself.

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I wouldn’t ask. I’d go to court and address it. They’ll make him pay half. You shouldn’t have to ask.

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I would be sure to inform him what it costs, and ask him to pitch in whether financially or by volunteering or whatever.

Of course you should. Shouldn’t have to, but you do. Whether or not he will you’ll find out

No he pays child support use that for her school

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He is not obligated to in many states and if he does help that could lower his payments

Absolutley ask!! This is your daughters education!!! I would! My child support barely covers anything for my daughter at 6 pounds per week!!!