Should I ask my sister to pay for essentials when she stays with us?

Pettiness at its finest!

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Should’ve talked about that prior to agreeing to her staying

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Yes she should pay you- she’s saving money on gasoline, staying with you.

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If your sister is staying Sunday thru Fridays with you then Yes, of course, your sister should be paying her own way and not mooching off of you and your family

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Is she just in town for a week for work ? or will this be a weekly thing ?

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Maybe buy some food and drinks or treat dinner out

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if I were you, I would not ask. Be glad to be able to because she is my sister. You never know if the situation will turn one day.
If I were her, I would offer to pay or buy food because you’re my sister and you’re allowing me to stay and never know if the situation will turn one day.

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If it’s every week she most definately should contribute.

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Is she visiting or living there? Sounds like just a visit.

So shes there all week except for saturday. If thats the case yes she should give some money towards her keep.

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If its a regular thing like every week from Sunday to Friday, then yes you should! Especially if she’s staying there for work. She’s practically living at your house.

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Does she do this weekly? If so, then she needs to pay you. If it’s for a week only then no

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Shame on her for not even offering. She’s completely taking advantage of you.

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If it’s a weekly thing like to where she is spending more days at your house a month than at her own then asking for a little help isn’t wrong but me personally if one of my sisters needed to stay with me a week no questions asked I would treat her like I would my hubby and kids. She’s family. Be glad you still have each other and feel good you’re able to help her in her time of need. It’s what family is for and there’s no age limit to where it needs to stop.

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:confused: She’s staying for not even a week…

If this every week she might as well move in and pay a portion if the bills. She should help with the food and increase in water.

shes family, family shouldn’t need to pay. if you had a problem with it I’d ask her to stay somewhere else other wise just deal.

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You should have said something prior to agreeing to let her stay there :confused:
Personally I wouldn’t ask family for money especially seeing you already told her she could stay…if you are that tight on money it should have been discussed before you agreed to it :grimacing:
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However, if family ever LIVED with me for any long length of time I would of course discuss money BUT before agreeing to the stay…

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Yes, she should help.

If its every week then yes but its like every 2 weeks or more then no.

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She should not have to be asked, but if that’s what it takes , do it now!

Wow, a one time stay? Or a weekly basis? If it’s a onetime occasion then NO! I mean is your water bill really sky rocketing from her? How much food did she eat? :woman_facepalming:t2:

I mean I guess. I would never ever ask my sister to pay a damn dime. But that’s just me. She wouldn’t ask me to either. The difference tho maybe, is I wouldn’t stay up in my sister’s house visiting or otherwise without putting something back in against my sister’s wishes, and visa versa. We either going out to eat, I’m cleaning house, buying groceries, something. And she would do the exact same. We family. That’s how it should be. Now if that betch was staying for more then a couple months… :thinking: then that’s different… lol pay up… Erika Moore

No, I wouldn’t. But in my family, that’s a given. We provide dinner but you are on your own for work lunch :rofl:

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It depends. Does she do you favors also? How is her finances? How is your finances? If you need the money and it’s a hardship to have company for days, you should ask for money and actually she should offer you money without you asking. I hope it works out well.

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Tell her you are really short of funds right now, could she get some groceries to help out? Hopefully, she will take the hint and either go buy some food for everyone or give you money.

I think people need more details before anyone can actually give any advice. Was this a one time ordeal? Or is this an all the time thing? And what was discussed before it started?

It you broke just say that :joy:

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If you are buying the food…ask away. If she don’t buy she can donate by cleaning kitchen…

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If she’s living there she should pitch in.

  • you’ve left a lot of the story out by the sound of it.
    Where does she stay Friday and Saturday night ?
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Tell her pay her way

The question should never Arise Be thankful for the love of your family and the visit for a week Just Enjoy her being there in your company for less than a week

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You can suggest sharing in cooking cleaning etc if not then yes contribute to costs

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being an adult … she should know … tell her !!

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You wouldn’t even have to ask and if I didn’t have nothing to give I’d be cleaning and cooking dinner every night

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That’s basically living with you. She should be paying board/rent

Never… my sister stays mine I stay here’s both with kids n never ask for a penny… we just do the obvious when going shop grab what need or buy a takeaway…

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So basically she lives with you…so yes she should be helping out financially
Also no need to change names on an anonymous post

Every week, yes for sure. It adds up.
Just for a week? No.

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If you need the help then ask. If you can afford it then no, she’s your sister. But be honest if you need the help she will understand hopefully. Honestly goes a long way I believe.

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She is only staying for a week ? I would never ask my sister for anything !!!

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If someone is staying in your house for most of the week it’s fair to ask for a contribution to the household. It’s expensive to run a house with multiple people, a contributing wouldn’t hurt from her part. And makes her have some responsibility, life isn’t free.

So basically she lives with u and she certainly should be paying something for her been there

Is she living with you 5 nights a week or is it just a one off? Xxx

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Honestly she should’ve offered

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Yes definitely…no1 lives rent/bill free so why should she? Especially when she works. If its a one off then no. X

She needs too contribute she is using you

For a week no. If she’s going to stay indifinetly then yes

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She should pay rent. She lives there. Where does she go on Saturdays? That’s the only day she’s not at your house.

Omg! What is wrong with people today!? That’s your sister! Don’t take a penny from her! I’ve had family LIVE with me until they got on their feet and never asked for anything, geez!!

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How would you feel is roles were reversed? If it’s a week, no! Longer, yes!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I ask my sister to pay for essentials when she stays with us? - Mamas Uncut

My sister and I would know if the other needs it or not. If it’s needed she should help, if not I wouldn’t even consider her paying a dime.

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If it was for like MONTHS I could see asking for help with food

But it’s not even a week…shes your sister. My sister doesn’t even have to tell me she’s coming over let alone pay for stuff

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I would not ask her to pay for anything. Life is short. Enjoy her company. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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When my youngest daughter and niece were around 5 & 7 I got to looking for them. They had muched dinner off of the neighbors. My neighbor Jean Harden Dina let me know the girls had come for dinner. I was so embarrassed. So I had the talk with em. The next day Jean called again and told me she was rolling. One of the girls took a can of peaches the other a can of pork and beans. Josephine explained to her it was rude showing up empty handed at dinner time.

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Nope I’ve never asked family to pay for anything if they are visiting us but most of the time they have pitched in without being asked .

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Family shouldn’t have to pay to stay a few days at your house…

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Is she visiting or moving in temporarily? If she’s only there for a week no she should take care of herself with nessissties ! Maybe you both can enjoy each other’s company make dinner plan dinners together or go out to eat! I wouldn’t ask her for money!

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I’ve had my sister live with me for almost a year cause she and my mom got in a fight. She was 15. I was able to get child support for her, but gave her all of it. She used the money to buy her own essentials (clothes, shampoo, hygiene products) and we paid for food, housing and everything else. When my husband’s brother graduated college, he stayed with us rent free for over 3 months while looking for a job. Again he paid for his own hygiene products and he occasionally helped with food or bought his own, but for the most part we included him in our meals. And 5 years ago when my husband’s sister moved back to the states from Japan she lived with us for 2 months. We even took her on vacation with us. Again, she only paid for her own essentials and occasional food, the rest was out of our pocket. If you are struggling financially then I guess you could ask for a little help here and there, but I dont know why you would ask a family member to stay with you AND pay you for doing so. Family helps family. Weve even had the occasional couch surfing friend, one night or a week… some came with their own stuff, others used ours.

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Nope! I love it when my sister visits.

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See how it goes. Does she eat your food? Did she bring her own? Did she offer to buy pizza one night for everyone? I don’t think it’s an unreasonable ask if it’s a long term thing or if you didn’t offer.

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If i could still put food on the table for my kids i wouldn’t.

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Wow, I would never ask money from a family member just staying less than a week, some families really are weird. In my family we are a village, nobody falls short and we all take care of each other. I’ve never heard of such a thing

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I feel like since it isn’t just a temporary thing and she basically lives there aside from the weekend then I would ask her to help out a little. She has a job and uses your essentials. If not asking her for money, maybe ask her to buy her own food and other items ?

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My mother had her sister and her entire family for 3 months each summer as they were coming from England for holidays and she never asked for anything, even when we would barely make ends meet ourselves…if she offers herself then sure, but, otherwise maybe not the best?

It just depends on the situation I stayed with my sister and help with house work and I paid her200 a month when she was out of town working for a few weeks I took care of her dog

My sister moved in with me and my family when she first moved home. She cleaned and helped with the house so I didn’t expect anything. She would also help watch my son and cook dinner

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Is this an ongoing arrangement or just a one time? And do you need the money? If so then certainly ask her to pitch in. If it’s an ongoing thing does she help with household chores and contribute to get a take out once in a while? It’s a two way street in my opinion. You can’t just be a taker or just a giver. Doesn’t matter who it is. But if you’re not needing the money and have enough, I’d certainly be helping my sister. It’s family.

So she pretty much lives with you? This is hard to understand. Or is it only for one week? If it’s literally only one week and that’s it then why make her pay? She is your sister. But if she’s literally living at your home 6 days every single week then ya she should definitely start paying something and buying food.

Is she an adult? Does she do anything to help you ans your family out?
Honestly I would. Or ask her to buy her own food, own essentials. If she’s not struggling, then I dont see why.

But as someone who has had to move back into my parents home as an adult, I also offered rent. I bought my own food and essentials. I dont see why your sister wouldn’t think the same unless she’s a minor

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I think it depends if it’s long term then it’s not a big ask just ask her to pay for what she uses but if she’s just visiting then no don’t ask she’s a visitor and its clear she’s comfortable doing what’s she doing if your running out of stuff while she’s there because she used something just talk to her just ask her if she would mind replacing said item she emptied ( with in reason) or have her ask before she uses stuff so you know what’s going where

Absolutely Not!! She is your Guest and you should be happy to have her visit! I house and feed my guests and give each of them a Gift as they leave! Treat her like Royalty!!

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My hospitality is too deep to charge my sister for anything! :woman_shrugging: I make sure she’s comfortable the whole stay​:bangbang:my home is her home :heart: vise versal when I comes to hers​:pray:

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I wouldn’t ask. How lucky you are to gave a sister that feels comfortable enough to stay and be part of your family.

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No I never ask family to pay for anything, it’s a privilege to have your sister and family.

It should of been discussed before.

Personally no, if we have family visit us for a week or even weekend we pay for food/cook the meals.

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Id tell my sister where to go if she wanted me to pay some of her water bill, but i would probably buy food anyway or even just a takeaway or something.

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You mentioned she’s with you through the week for work but not weekends. Is it a temporary situation where she stays with you until she finds a place? Or maybe a temp assignment for work? (A few months up to a year, I would consider that temporary). If so, and you can afford it, I would not ask for money. She’s family and family should help one another. You never know when you might need help in return.

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I would say just enjoy her company and be an accommodating host for your beloved sibling… unless of course you live in a wretched third world country and she’s eating all your delicious beans and drinking all your feces free water, then yeah she should throw you a little something

If she was there for weeks or months, yes. Less than a week? She’s a house guest.

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The amount is almost unmeasurable.
Is that tiny bit of money worth hard feelings between you two for the foreseeable future… A
Because once you let that ooze out of your mouth she’ll forever think you’ve been thinking of her as a burden this whole time.

That’s pretty sad honestly…
Bc you wondering that is a sign that you kind of do think of her that way…

Maybe you should ask her.
I’d much rather know my sister thought that and live life alone, than thinking I was we were cool forever and finding out when I’m older that I spent my life making memories with someone that even once that I was taking advantage or using them or whatever you wish to call it.

I’d give almost anything or even everything I own to have any single person I care for, blood or not, come and just hang around. For them to stay and actually talk to me AND hang out with my little family???
I’m sorry you feel that way about her visits, but their are people starving and homeless and alone that would let her sleep in their sleeping bag, feed there their last bite of food; and wash her clothes and feet in their last tiny bit of money.

Be careful… Extremely careful…
We often don’t notice our biggest blessings until we no longer have them.

You shouldn’t have to ask, every adult knows living and food costs…. She should contribute but if she can’t she should’ve at least mentioned it, like she wants to help but can’t etc… on other hand is she helping in other ways? Cooking etc? Help in any form should be appreciated

I would never ask if it’s just one person for one week. It’s a different story if it’s an extended stay of multiple people. If she’s considerate, she would offer to take you out to dinner or buy groceries.

Nope, I would love for my sister to stay with me that long, where in different state’s and I’m a lockdown so I haven’t seen her in sooo long

If my sister moved in with me in her time if need, I’d foot the bill but also hope she realizes there is and end to that, and would make good on her own end without me even having to say a word… If not, you know when she has Exceeded her stay.

If u can’t afford it, be honest. Most people just want honesty. Things are expensive and not everyone is in a situation that they can feed and house another person. It’s just facts

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If it’s an all the time thing than I would tell her to buy her own groceries or contribute towards the food she is eating. That starts to add up. Actually I would probably ask for something weekly or monthly she is basically living with you for free.

Yes…period. She’s not staying for months. If you can’t afford the week should have put that out there long before

No! Not unless she makes a habit of staying long periods of time. Or unless she is eating everything you have. If that is the case then she should be decent enough to buy some food.

Only if you need the money. If not, just try to enjoy time with your sister

If your sister staying a week is going to put you in such financial struggle just say that. Tell her before she comes not when she’s already here.

Depending on if it’s an on going thing, which it kinda sounds like it is. Personally I wouldn’t ask unless I was in a tough spot and couldn’t make ends meet. I’d ask myself, who needs it more. And if she buys dinner at least one night then she’s trying to contribute. It really depends on the situation and if you or she can afford it or if it’s going to cause hardship on one of you.

Does she stay with you those nights every week?

Nah… money shouldn’t come between family. Unless you are broke and you need some help.

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It’s not even a full week? Really? Maybe you should of talked to her about this before telling her she could stay.

If you are hard strapped for cash and struggling then just let her know. I used to have to do that with my brother Connor and now I’m in a good place I wouldn’t need to ask him anymore!

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If she is staying with you weekly then yes charge her board absolutely if she argues about it tell her to find somewhere else to live for free don’t hesitate :wink:

Depends on if you need the money to support your household but if it’s not going to hurt you financially I’d enjoy having her nearby.

If she’s living with you 6 days a week she should pitch in without being asked but then I think of my sister who was killed by drunk driver at age 22 and I think I would do anything to have her hrer