Run. Run fast. Run far. Not worth it. Even if he isn’t cheating, he’s not choosing you. Not worth it. My husband and I will be married 20 years in April and can’t stand when I work a night shift…
11 Likes
Yes, it’s concerning.
This doesn’t sound like a marriage to me. It sounds like a long distance boyfriend-girlfriend relationship.
14 Likes
Surprise visit to the in-laws house are in order…
1 Like
not been bad but did u marry him to keep him in the country or something cause that sounds very strange.
7 Likes
Something sounds suspicious.
2 Likes
Extremely suspicious. He doesn’t have time for you, but has time to go to his parent’s house? As for his parent’s home, there’s a ton of red flags there as well. Does everyone speak English? If yes, do they speak in a foreign language while you’re there? Do you understand any of the language? If you have a smartphone, then a translator app might come in handy as to what’s being said. If you’re uncomfortable going there, you shouldn’t have to. I’d see what he says if you offer to go. I’m not a betting woman, but I’d bet that he’s definitely doing something that’s not quite right. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have asked the question. Be cautious and careful, especially when it comes to sex. You have no idea what or who he’s doing. My heart goes out to you girl! Stay strong!!! 
3 Likes
Ummm yes that’s extremely concerning 
1 Like
If you’re having to ask yourself if it’s concerning then you already know the answer. If a man wanted to be with you, spend time with you etc then he would. My husband would never and that goes before we even got married.
1 Like
A man leaves his parents and takes on a wife. That’s what’s suppose to happen. He’s got a life with you and that’s where he should be
3 Likes
Genesis 2:24 - Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh…that’s not a marriage. You are his priority. Visiting is one thing but come on.
8 Likes
Go find out, go to his brothers where everyone is and see for yourself,then ask yourself,same question,works all week,but no time for his wife?
Why dont you offer to go and spend the weekend at a affordable hotel?
8 Likes
Seems like ur a convenience. Ask him to stay home on the weekends and spend time. If it’s non negotiable u have a really problem why would he rather spend time away….
1 Like
I think it’s time to part ways.
Yes very weird and strange
1 Like
There’s a reason be keeps going back every weekend. Does not sound right at all
3 Likes
You dont have a husband, you have a roommate
1 Like
What is he 16?! Leave 
Wow sounds like he’s with someone else on weekends I would go and surprise him to see what’s really going on.
10 Likes
Is it concerning to you? Thats the important question. Every marriage functions differently…We can’t tell you how to feel about it. Id imagine it is concerning to you or you wouldnt be posting here about it. So my opinion? You don’t have a marriage. Why did he want to get married if he wasn’t going to spend time with you. For the title? Because he feels thats what people do after awhile? Religious reasons?
4 Likes
So …what you are saying is that he left another whole life in that old town …I say he has another life there …you deserve better
1 Like
You’ve been together 11 years and only started living together 4 months ago?.. To me it sounds like you’ve been apart most of your relationship anyway… Maybe he’s been living a double life with another woman the whole time idk… track his phone and don’t tell him your coming…
2 Likes
he is cheating. he could go back home 1 weekend a month. every weekend, there’s someone else involved
Sounds like a double life. How are you married 2 years but he moved in 4 months ago?
1 Like
What?
Read your question again, and again!
Is this a joke? Not funny…
RUN 
… good lord!
2 Likes
Yes it’s concerning.
Yes. Very concerning
Sounds fishy,time for a surprize visit
1 Like
That’s crazy. Dump
Him
2 Likes
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be concerned that my husband spends his weekends away from me? - Mamas Uncut
You’ve been married 2 years but only moved in together 4 months ago? And he’s already disappearing on weekends? That’s a major red flag to me.
I’d ask him or do some research about whether this is a tradition in his culture. If not, this is a major problem and y’all need to seek counseling. His job is demanding, so he leaves to spend weekends with his parents and friends? No. You, as his wife, should be the place he seeks rest and refuge.
5 Likes
Yea i would run girl. You’ve been married for 2 yrs and live together for onlg 4 months is a super red flag! Should be the other way round. And if he runs off every single weekend and on his free time, its another red flag. You, his wife, should be first priority now
1 Like
I would be concerned if it’s every single weekend and he spends no time with you
2 Likes
Uhhhh, being married for over a year and not living with each other is a red flag by itself. Who are these people?
4 Likes
The man is living a double life, RUN!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be concerned that my husband spends his weekends away from me? - Mamas Uncut
1 Like
You can invest your time and energy in “investigating,” but you should listen closely to what his actions are saying. You have been married 2 years, but only living together 4 months. So, you’ve been living together for less than 20% of your marriage. What does that say? Were there no jobs available near you? Are you not worth a 1 hour commute to work?
51 Likes
Hold on, y’all have been married for 2 years but only moved in with each other 4 months ago? I would have been asking questions ALOT sooner. I would try to talk to him and see if he would be willing to stay home with you some of the weekends. Idk this relationship’s dynamic is odd.
31 Likes
i’m sorry you’re dealing with this but i couldn’t imagine being with someone for 11 years in total, and married for two, and only having lived together for 4 months. i also don’t think it’s considerate of your marriage that all of his free time is spent away from you, and that he hasn’t made more of an effort to be with you or to integrate you with his family. it seems very odd to me and i would really express to him that you want more of his time to be dedicated to you and your relationship. it’s fair to discuss, you’re also his family.
84 Likes
If they don’t speak the same language I’m assuming they might be foreigners? A lot of foreign countries put a big emphasis on family, it’s extremely important to a huge degree and it doesn’t surprise me he’d do that then. Research his families culture more and see how family values are for that place. With that said, you shouldn’t marry someone who doesn’t spend time with you or want to live with you, you’ll never know how someone is until you live with them
15 Likes
You say they don’t speak the same language are you sure it’s not a cultural thing for him to be spending his free time with his parents. He could also be very close to them an see it as he sees you 5 days a week so he sees them 2. Have you asked him anything
24 Likes
I would ask for him to stay one weekend night with you- and honor his relationship with his family . See if he is willing to compromise . If he is not willing to compromise then consider why he won’t . Weekends in my married life are sacred- home improvement - dates with each other or with other couples - children’s sports - pursuing OUR hobbies together . It’s reasonable for him to have one day- but both A BIG FAT NO! You could try a translator app- and try again with his family ?
24 Likes
Surprise him with an I’m coming with you weekend at the last minute. See what the response is.
While he should be making the time and effort to be with you a relationship is about compromise and you both need to be open to compromise and communication.
20 Likes
People go where they want to go to be with whom they love.
You are alone during a work week and all alone on weekends. You have your answer. There is no mistake.
133 Likes
In TEN years he wasn’t able to find a job near you or you move to be with him. This doesn’t sound right in any culture. Maybe he tells his other girlfriend or family he works out of town during the week now. I’d have lots of questions.
202 Likes
I don’t think he’s with his parents. Sounds to me like he’s living a double life. Maybe a second family and the parents are keeping quiet about it? I would make the trip down there and see for myself exactly what’s going on! Move on sweetie, there is much more to this story than you even know!
185 Likes
Girl yes . One y’all been together for 9 years and barley living together ? And if y’all bakery spend time during week he shouldn’t want to not be with you during the weekend . It’s okay to go visit his family down there every now and then bht not every weekend
20 Likes
If he cared about you he would spend as much time as possible with you. Hey a divorce and move on with your own life and do not waste time waiting on him.
36 Likes
Sounds a little bit like my partner. He works Monday to Saturday then spends every Sunday at his mums, she’s in her 60s so he goes there to help clean her house & help with jobs that she needs doing that she can’t do herself. They are West African, you said they speak a different language so I’m guessing it’s different cultures as well. Some cultures look after their parents really well as they are the ones who gave them life. I know my partner is where he says he is because he video calls me a couple times a day & i talk to his mum. I see him during the week in between both our jobs so doesn’t bother me.
5 Likes
That is a marriage that needs to end after all the time together and married idk bout you but that job opportunity don’t seem closer to you just move on he don’t seem to be committed to you and probably has a whole other family you don’t know of
24 Likes
Maybe u should either try n put up with it and go with him or go but book a hotel for a night. But I mean 1hr drive away is not much to have to stay over night
3 Likes
Is your home life during the week sound? Do you feel comfortable in your home? Sounds like my coverted narcissistic ex partner. For ten years I allowed absences of his for ‘pressing matters’. Including time spent with his mother. Turns.out it was a massive ruse for his infidelity and dishonesty. Perhaps I’m not the best person to voice an opinion in this; jaded and what not. But even in the most basic relationships people tend to want to spend their free time with their companion. You can try again with his family and see if he responds positively to your attempt.
9 Likes
Cherish him , nurture him , and support him , that some day he will be a great success and you can bask in the light of his greatness .
33 Likes
I’m sorry,but this is not good. A marriage is honesty,respect,and consideration. Please examine what you wrote and ask yourself if this is right. Prayets and hugs.
4 Likes
Yes, it’s weird and concerning, and don’t let him gaslight you.
9 Likes
“Is this concerning?”
Lady, this whole story is concerning. Every single part of it. You’ve been together for 11 years total & you don’t talk to his family? You JUST now moved in together? I don’t care if his job is demanding now, the man has never put you or the relationship as a priority. You should have moved on years ago.
31 Likes
are you sure that he is with his family? coz’ if you are a married couple you two should spent the spare time together, you two can visit his family, but just visit not spent the rest of the day with them, because the moment he marries you, you are now his family the rest are now just extended fam, so you should be the priority, let him know that, if he disagrees tgen its time for you to think about it. be wise girl 
8 Likes
Girl so.etjing isn’t right.And you know it.I can see once in a while but every weekend no.He has someone else and his family is covering for him or he isn’t at his family’s house at all.
Wake Up
11 Likes
The family you come from is important, but the family you create is a priority. If he can’t stay with you for a couple of weekends, I would be telling him to move back there.
5 Likes
Girl yes… My husband isn’t going anywhere I’m not comfortable especially without me… Our rule, if we’re not invited or made to feel welcome neither of us are coming.
Sounds like you should start finding ways to fill your weekends with joy he apparently has been for a long time…
11 Likes
An hour away and he stays the whole weekend? That’s weird. I drive an hour away just to have lunch with my mom then an hour back. It’s not that far
9 Likes
So basically he would rather spend his free time away from you . Instead of making time to be with you ! He can talk to his parents every day . He can visit them once every 2 months . And perhaps they can make a trip over to be with you two !
10 Likes
My husband and I have been together for 8 years… married 6. His days off… he’s all about me. When it comes to spending time with family, rather mine or his… we go together… and if a family member has an issue with me… he has an issue with them… Honestly… your situation doesn’t sound to good. I’d personally move on and find true happiness with someone who’s gonna adore you. Best of luck…
8 Likes
My fiancé and I have been together for 5 years, moved in together after 1, bought a house together this year, and I’m now pregnant. Every weekend he’s off he’s home with me, when he’s off work he’s home with me. He says because he’s home when he’s with me wherever that is. We lived with his mom and dad but it didn’t matter…we were together. A man will be where he wants to be. If that’s home with mommy and daddy and not with his wife send his ass packing back to mommy and daddy! Or his mistress. I’m sorry but a man that spends no time with his wife isn’t happily married. I’ll pray for you because that is horrible and I’m sorry you are going through that.
8 Likes
Marriage is a commitment. Is he asking you to meet him there. Think not! Get a new man that appreciates you. I don’t know whats with women these days that let guys live with them free just to say they have aman and most are abusive. Value yourself. More ducks in the pond
5 Likes
Yes it’s concerning. I feel like you kinda already know this, which is why you’re asking in the first place. You know already in your gut. Trust your gut, you already know something is off. It may hurt to emotionally acknowledge it, but feeling left out, feeling lonely, and doubting yourself is an awful way to continue a relationship. And quite honestly, it kinda sounds like you’re already alone since your husband isn’t around much as it is, worst case scenario nothing changes and he stays gone. When people want to be together they make time no matter what the circumstances, and your husband seems to only make excuses to stay apart from you. Trust your gut, face the truth as hurtful and scary as it may be, and go find yourself someone who makes time to see you.
6 Likes
Is this situation acceptable to you? Are you happy? Do you feel loved and respected? Do you spend quality time together?
My instant reaction was hell no, divorce! That wouldn’t work for me. The fact that you’re posting the question indicates it’s not working for you. Think about what you want In relationship and discuss it with your husband. His response will show what he wants. Afterwards you have a clear picture and can plan your future
6 Likes
Either get him to stay on the weekend or go with him…one way or another you will figure it out…even if there are problems with his family, insert yourself and see all of the reactions and it will tell you whats going on…if you value your relationship, put pressure on him and see what happens…something is way off!
4 Likes
Is this concerning?! 
Y’all are only married by law and a piece of paper. Go with him to try to find out the real deal. Or ask him to stay home at least one weekend a month. See how he reacts. 
4 Likes
Yes it’s concerning. He is allowed to have friends but YOU should be number one. Don’t allow this to continue. Try to compromise
3 Likes
Obviously something is going on every weekend. Let him go and then show up the next day to see what he’s doing. And if he’s not willing to spend time with you then there’s really no marriage/relationship.
5 Likes
Giant red flags here. This is super concerning and abnormal. Time for a big talk. Are you positive there isn’t a 2nd family?
6 Likes
If you’re really asking if this is concerning, I’m concerned for you. This is totally bizarre, everything about it.
6 Likes
He spends all his free time with parent’s and family??? Um you guys are married. How very odd. I wouldnt be doing that… hell no
3 Likes
This would be very concerning for me!
Ask the hard questions, express what you need his answers will surely let you know where you stand.
In the meantime start packing his things.
2 Likes
Yes I would be very concerned. Did he tell you before hand that he would be spending his down time without you.
this doesn’t sound so good…maybe it is high time for you to reconsider your priorities…before you run out of time…
2 Likes
I feel you write this then read it back if a friend sister was telling you this what be ur advice 9yrs no job I get u don’t get on family culture thing who asked who to marry where does his wages for work go do you own it house does he pay for it did his family attend ur wedding? If not why do they know ur married where are his friends have they come up to your house things are not right but I feel you looking for some one say it’s normal but afraid only time this is normal is a flatmate or a divorced couple
2 Likes
I would conduct a lil private investigation just to see if hubby is being honest.
3 Likes
He married you as a cover up. He is probably gay but wants the family to think otherwise.
3 Likes
This sounds like it could potentially be a cultural thing? So it could be totally normal that he spends this much time with his family. But I would communicate your concerns to him. Is there anyway to compromise? And if not, are you willing to continue in his pattern?
I’m not in a relationship but even being on my own I spend my time where i want to, because that’s where I WANT TO BE!!! Usually that’s at home with my puppa but still it’s my choice. People show you who they are and where you fit into their lives we just need to try and take feelings out of it and see things for what they are. You already know the answer in the time he gives you.
They probably don’t say much to you because they are keeping his secret and don’t want to get involved
1 Like
Sounds like he doesn’t appreciate you or cares to spend time with you. That’s not healthy
He needs to find new friends where he’s at now. The day he married you; YOU become his family. It’s okay evey other weekend to check in on his parents. but every weekend isn’t reasonable, for that he could stay in his home town divorced/single. Time together is important too.
I call bullshit but even if its true he doesnt seem like he wants to spend his free time with you. You deserve so much more. Set him free so you can move on and find someone that values you!
It sounds like he’s living with another family and staying with you during his work week for convenience. Cheaper than a hotel! I’d get an annulment and move on. I wouldn’t trust this situation!
Sounds like his family rules him. This is not good for a marriage. Have you talked to him about this? Maybe some counseling.
You need to leave if he Loved you he would spend time with you he will never never change Life is too short find someone who wants to be with you
My neighbor said her ex-husband fathered a set of twins in just that way… it was his Aunt and Uncle he was caring for. Married 7 years, had 2 children and she had no car. Isn’t that crazy? The divorce was started. He fought to get his wife to stay but she reminded him of their promise to stay as man and wife unless he found another he thought could be make him happier… She kept her promise and he was given his freedom.
He stalked his wife asking to forgive. He stopped seeing his lady, she lost the twins and he did not marry her. I’ve often wondered if the guy found it worth all the tears…
Uhh yeah! Sounds like you have a room mate when he’s there. Doesn’t sound like a marriage at all. He should be wanting to spend time with you, asking you to go with him on the weekends or stay home one weekend and go home the next. That’s just my opinion Doesn’t seem right to me.
This is crazy why don’t you just pack yourself a little bag and follow him and see what he’s doing on the weekend he may not be with his parents after all
This is crazy. What kind of marriage is that? 9 years of relationship… 2 fresh years of marriage… and you do not feel comfortable at his parents’. So what is his opinion about all this? Did you express your mind to your husband? How does he feel? If you really are keen to stay in the marriage you must start to learn their language, show some interest in their culture/food/songs etc… show some friendliness and try to blend in slowly. I hate to think the extreme possibility of not being with his parents. The key is communication. Good luck!!!
wow your have been together 9 years married for 2 and he only moved in 4 months ago due to finding a job closer to you, and spends more time with his family, sure he doesn’t have a side bit he is going back to ?
Sista! People go where will or may these days. If he can’t spend his time with you, he sounds like a waste of your time. YOU are his family! Everyone else is secondary.
Looks like he needs “cut the cord” with his parents or he is definitely leading a double life with another partner. 11 years total and only now living together, except with mommy and daddy overnight on weekends? Yet you’re married to him? He is playing you for a fool…something is up…and you should find out what it is. Ridiculous and sad.
Been in that kind of relationship and I and my two kids went home to our hometown and started anew.
Yes just a bit. He should try to include you. And stay home with you
His parents house is 1 hour away…why the need for a sleepover? Who do you spend your time with? Do you have children? You need to do what will make you happy 
P.S. doesn’t sound like he is doing that for you !!
Doesn’t sound like a marriage at all,I’m not trying to upset you,but it sounds like you’re nothing more than either a convenience for him through the week or nothing more than an extra workload,you need to leave him and have a real life