Lol I’m gonna have the talk with my daughter when she hits puberty but I’m also gonna explain to her the moment she understands what her private parts are that if anyone touches her there she’s to tell me right away no matter what the person might tell her. My husband will have the talk with our son when he hits puberty but will also do the same when he understands what his private parts are just so they know if god forbid someone tries to harm them they know it’s harm and not okay. I’m more scared of walking in on something someday than I’d be of finding porn lmao
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Talk to him for sure
Especially if looking up porn kids can stumble on the wrong kind of stuff and or send the wrong kind of unsolicited pics and get in trouble
I literally just walked in on my 14 y old daughter and she kinda turned her phone i said what ya doing she said nothing I told her hand over but before getting I casually said I done told you not to be looking at porn (she wasn’t ) she was telling her grandma to ask me if they can go over cause she knows I won’t tell grandma no lol
But we talk constantly
I educate her and my son about internet safety about sex and respecting their bodies and that of others
not only cause they are too young for some things but I let them know how the world is
The wrong post, tweet, comment pic can get you into a lot of trouble and you just need to be careful
Also if we don’t help them learn who will
Porn isn’t bad. Leave him be. He’s a teenager. They will always find a way to watch it. Don’t talk to him about it if you are going to shame him.
I wouldn’t encourage him to delete his history because then what is the point of going thru his phone?
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Yes ma’am have the talk and keep having the talk!!!
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Cartoon porn or real porn…I would make sure he knows that actual sex and porn are NOT one in the same and can lead to unrealistic expectations. The end😁
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Have the talk Mumma 
I had to do this with my 16 and 15 year old at the beginning of the year. As embarrassing as it is for them. You just want them to be safe when they start acting on it cause kids these days are going out into the world and doing things we think they aren’t like having a GF and getting their first kiss ect. This convo for me and my boys came up because my boys started throwing shade at each other about having gfs. Not because I went through their phones just to clear it up
Don’t take the phone. tell him if he ever wants to talk about anything ur always there.
Totally normal! I think it’s time to have a talk about safe sex?
I have a 14 year old daughter who has also had some questionable things in her search history. It’s pretty normal for their age, they’re curious. I teased her for about a day, told her that porn and real sex are very different things, and let her know to ask me if she has any questions about anything she sees in the future. Then I dropped it.
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Don’t punish him for it. He’s a teenage boy and you’ll just make him feel ashamed for something that is natural. Just have the talk with him and make sure he understands.
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Their gonna look at porn no matter what. Even if u take the phone. He has friends that has phones
Check his deleted and trash!!!
I pray I’m wrong but went through similar and when really started searching I found more in the trash that he had forgot to Empty. Mine is almost 14
Ignore it he’s a teen and going throu that awkward stage I’ve been raising my team brother-in-law who is 15 for the past four years and I’ve seen some of his stuff I just ignore it as long as he’s being smart and safe about what he’s doing I’m okay
I personally would talk to him. I don’t think porn is healthy and it can be very addictive. It could cause problems later in life. I say this because of a friend that her husband was very addicted to porn.
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Sex is normal and it’s normal to be curious. I would just sit and have “the talk” with him and let him know that porn isn’t real. It’s not really like that in real life lol
The “talk” never ends. We are very open about it in our household. It all makes for a tighter relationship in the end. <3
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Just let it be 
he already knows what sex is trust me they learn about it way before we even have the talk. Just preach about the safety of safe sex and the consequences of not using protection. My son is 12 and I’ve been having this type of talk with him since I could remember 
not ashamed either of talking about it since he was young cause he knows he can come to me about it regardless.
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- Does he know you went through his phone? If not. Leave it alone. It’s just a cartoon and since you have his trust I would t lose it at that age he’s at over. Cartoon. Now is when you have to pick your battles. Sometimes if you push one way they go the other just because you don’t approach the subject a way they won’t feel cornered. It’s normal. My brother found my dads penthouse at 10. My cousins and him laughed and laughed. They turned out ok not creepy or weird.
So it’s a cartoon. Is it worth the loss of trust he has for you. Hugs.
I would not embarrass him over it because it’s natural for this age
Probably time for the talk. But it’s normal. Dont address it if he will be shamed. We have open dialogue in our home. Nothing is off the table as far as sex and drugs etc. Things are talked about daily. We have 6 kids. 5 still at home. Our kids are to honest with us sometimes. But I am so beyond greatful they openly discuss things with us. They are not shamed or told it’s bad. We explain our concerns and possible consequences of things.
He’s about to be 15 have the talk. This is perfectly normal with kids this age just make sure he know he can come to you before he starts having sex. Also listen to him you don’t want him to shut down.
I think the most important thing to talk to your kids about when they start taking an interest in porn is how unrealistic it is. Make sure he understands even in a cartoon.
This is also a really good opportunity to talk about consensual sexual activity. How important it is to use a condom, not just to prevent babies and being respectful about women sharing their bodies with him both physically and maybe in pictures they send 
Educating our young people doesn’t mean they’ll go out and root like rabbits it just means when the situation does arises they are well informed to make great decisions!
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Isn’t that a good thing lol
You haven’t already had that talk with him at 13?
I’ve talked to my son his hormones and certain things he will feel as he gets older. He’s 11 now so when he turns 13 I’m going to talk to him about sex. Cuz there is some kids already having sex as young as 12. A girl I use to know had a baby at 12. An I want him to think clearly before making dumb decisions. Obviously sex is fine but there is a time and place for all of that. An AGE. I don’t want him to be an idiot doing stupid stuff that young.
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Going though your kids things without a reason is a huge invasion of privacy. He’s a teen, have the talk with him but don’t let him know you went through his phone. And honestly, stop going through it if you have no reason to believe he’s doing anything wrong.
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Let it be that way he doesn’t start feeling like he needs to be hiding stuff.
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Have a chat, let him know looking at Porn is normal, but women don’t always look that way, and people don’t always treat each other that way in real life when having sex.
Let him know when he does have sex with someone they are to be respectful and seek consent when wanting to explore.
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I’m dreading that day lol
I feel like a guy would be better to ask this question too… Maybe your brother or dad or uncles can help you with this topic… Since you know they probably went through this as well… I don’t think porn is anything bad.
However it’s good to have the talk and to introduce condoms and more importantly to respect the girl he is with and not to put pressure. It’s better to wait til marriage.
Or something along those lines
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I had “the talk” with my daughter when she was 11…because that is when kids at her school started talking about it. It is best to have the conversation with your children starting from a young age - maintaining appropriateness for age. My 10 yr old son isn’t there yet but I know he will be soon. We have started talking about puberty and body development. You keep it age appropriate, you are matter of fact about it, and you keep talking about it. With my daughter at age 11, I let her ask questions and I answered them. It was short and sweet. As she is getting older (almost 17) we’ve had conversations about oral sex, how to say no, pornography, dating, sexual harassment, etc. With your son, talk to him. You don’t have to tell him you saw the video. It can be as simple as saying, “It’s very normal for boys your age to be curious about sex, and to feel like you want to try it. I want to talk to you about healthy boundaries and behaviors to keep you safe.” Set boundaries for your home and your son. Whatever makes sense for you and your son.
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Honestly its no different than finding a playboy under his bed… Have the talk with him …
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I think you should of been had “the talk” with him considering he’s almost 15. Porn is normal and it’s normal for them to do so. I wouldn’t punish him over something he’s going to do anyways whether you agree or not 
I would just let it be and talk.
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I would do nothing and don’t let him know you saw it, now if you start seeing some crazy shit you may need to address it. I would start talking to him if you haven’t already. If you have a man who he’s close to who wouldn’t mind talking to him about sex maybe have him do it.
It is way past the time for the talk at this point. It also needs to be something that is openly communicated about.
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Charles Njuguna ???
He’s already had the talk in school by now. I’d just tell him that it’s not bad but you shouldn’t be doing it with any one you aren’t dating and serious about. And to always use protection and ask you if he had any questions
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I think invasion of privacy is the issue right now. He is understanding his body and everything that comes with it. If he isn’t do anything wrong, I wouldn’t be snooping. I think that’s wrong honestly. I’d casually tell him if he needs to ask about anything regarding sex he can talk to mom and dad, but stop going through the phone.
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I am a mom of 3 boys and have been here with 2 of them. My oldest was last year and he was 13. I didn’t get upset with him. Instead I asked him if he had been searching anything inappropriate. He was honest and he told me he had. We had the talk and that was that. He was honest and he was willing to listen and accepted what I had to say. Now my middle one who just turned 13 basically was the same situation only he lied to me, tried to hide it, and did not go about it in the right way. I had the talk with him, but he is grounded and no longer has a phone. He is in trouble for the fact he lied. Trust with your child in my opinion means more than anything. How you approach these things can affect how they come to you in a few years over things they NEED to come to you about. My boys knowing they can come to me and be honest with me over anything to me is more important than anything else.
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Definitely time for the talk
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This is where pornography addiction starts. It is important to educate him about how unrealistic it is. There are many studies of how pornography affects the the brain. It causes the center responsible for empathy and emotion to be damaged. Just do your own research on pornography addiction and then talk to him about it. It’s important to not get mad at him and inform him just like with any drug. Look up the website “Fight the new drug”
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Everyone develops in their own time, but we all reach a time when we’re curious about sex. Boys go through much different experiences in puberty than girls do. When our bodies start to physically react differently than they did before puberty, it’s just normal to be curious about the opposite sex, and about having sex. Think about how you felt. None of us wanted to discuss such a private subject with our parents.
I have 2 grown sons. When I started noticing they were noticing girls, and started spending more time in the bathroom, and more time alone in their bedrooms to themselves, I just casually talked with each of them. I told them I knew they were getting older, and that they would be going through a lot of changes, so if they ever wanted to talk about it, let me, or their dad, know. I reminded them that we were once kids, and went through everything they were going through, so if they had questions, don’t be afraid to ask. I also told them if they didn’t feel comfortable talking with either of us, they could talk with the family doctor or their uncles, or a trusted teacher. I reminded them that their friends probably wouldn’t be a good source of information because they were all going through the same things, and not experienced enough to be a good source of information.
They each came to us in their own time … they went to their dad first, and then to me, and then to a godparent … just gathering information and comparing notes in what they were learning
Is it possible that he heard the term for this and googled it just to see what it was? I’m sure that if he was interested in porn, he’d be looking at real porn too. It just seems odd that it’s only cartoon porn and I remember as a naive teenager, I’d Google things that I heard other people talk about just because I felt ‘out of the loop’ to ask them what they are talking about.
I also agree with those who say that this is invasion of his privacy because at what age are you going to draw the line? These things are part of puberty.
Honestly its completely normal and healthy for him to start to express his sexuality and explore what he likes… Its important part of his maturing.
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Most parents with boys go through this. Well done on being a responsible parent and checking up on him. Definitely need to have a conversation and I agree that you need to get him to tell you the truth about it. Being on good terms with him and open will keep him coming to you about things. If he tells the truth that’s great, don’t punish but educate. If he lies then still educate but punish and get him to understand the punishment is for the lying not what he was doing. They are gonna explore their bodies and want to look at things but teaching them a healthy option will hopefully keep them away from dangers that lurk on the internet and stop them from doing things wrong later in life. This is only my opinion. Good luck on your journey with this, once the interest in the opposite sex starts it doesn’t just go away.
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Way past time for the talk. Do not invade his privacy again. He needs a safe place to talk. If he will not talk with you then y’all should find someone together he can confide in. This person should never tell you what he says. The talk is a 12 or 13 conversation even 11.
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Do not punish him. It’s normal for a boy his age. Fine a time and have the talk. He knows a lot more than you think. Let him ask you and questions he may have. It’s crazy the things their minds come up with at that age. You’ve got this Mom. and always check his phone. Better safe than sorry
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No don’t punish him. This is a great opportunity for you to open up the lines of communication. Absolutely tell him it’s inappropriate especially for his age but talk to him about why he posted the meme and try to see where his thoughts are. Then you can help guide him. Does he know you go through his phone? It’s ok if he doesn’t … do what ever you need to do to know what’s going on in his life. If he ever derails the sooner you know the sooner you can help get him back on track… coming from a mom of 4 and grandma of 5 
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Talk to him about it. Inform him of how a woman’s body works from periods to birth control. Tell him how right now he is changing into a man. Let im know that what he is going through is natural and even healthy in moderation. Just let him know that his actions have consequences too. And teach him consent and what that means if he doesn’t already know.
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I had 2 boys, I open the communication line early, they too had there little things we went thru, but with patience and trust , today they are 36 and 32 and they talk to me about everything they want good or bad, there friends find it weird because they tell them I can tell my mom anything, it’s a great feeling. Dont punish him, talk to him.
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Why would he have his phone taken for doing something he didn’t know was something that was “wrong?” Although, it’s not wrong at all—completely normal at his age!!! He’s curious! 15 is absolutely an appropriate time to speak with him! As a parent, I would rather have the conversation with my child and ask if they have any questions, instead of them hearing about details from friends or older schoolmates, etc.
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Take this opportunity to talk with him, give him the knowledge he needs to make informed decisions. He is a young man, and he deserves privacy at this age. So if you have given him good values, he will come through this just fine. Trust your son, and trust what you have taught him. Bless you both.
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He’s almost 15, you should’ve been had the talk with him. Do not make it a big deal and argue with him. Now is the time to open the communication lines so he feels comfortable with coming to you with stuff like this. Definitely get him some condoms, talk about safe sex practices and respecting his partners.
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I don’t think you should approach him with what you found but you should at least have the talk with him, or his dad, if his dad is around … i had the talk with my daughter as soon as she got her period, why, because we live in a different society than what we grew up in, what she has access to now is everything and anything you can think of. It wouldn’t be smart to just blind yourself from the situation … i think it’s always good to leave that door open so that if your son wants to come and talk to you about something or ask advice, they can. I would rather have my daughter come ask me than her ask her friends who also don’t know anything. And definitely is not a reason to take his phone away, what he is going thru is part of their puberty and curiosity, it is not a crime, its part of nature
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I would talk to him about how porn is unrealistic and can become a damaging addiction. But in the end he is the one that has to make that choice. He’s getting old enough to make his own decisions with personal matters, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be informed decisions.
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I would just have a talk reminding him about the real facts of sex, how to treat women, it actually is a big deal, there is no reason to rush, etc.
I think the cartoons are probably quite normal but the dialogue is good because it will let him know that you are there for him if he needs to talk about this stuff. Do your best to make the least amount of awkwardness possible. Theoretically, he’ll then turn to you in the future for advice, etc
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I would leave it be. He probably doesn’t necessarily need a talk at that age, I’m just assuming most 15 yr olds know about the birds and the bees. If he’s having urges and is watching cartoons, that’s kind of his person choice, I consider that private. Now if it were something disturbing in nature, then yea, a talk would be warranted. I feel a talk would only embarrass him.
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Ugh I just went thru this recently with my 13 year old - spoke to my husband about it and sent him to have another talk lol no punishment- it’s normal in my opinion- but should definitely be addressed
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Perfectly normal…It’s time for the talk…take him to go get a ice cream or whatever he enjoys and you can start by saying something like…”I know this might be uncomfortable for the both of us but I really want us to have communication and it will get easier every time”…let him know that this is all new for you as well and it’s ok to let him know that you’re nervous as well! Good luck 
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Unfortunately i caught my 12 year old with the same thing. He was so embarrassed when i tried talking to him about it. Made it awkward for me too. I guess i don’t have advice but I’m at a loss as well. I’m guessing it’s normal for this age
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I would. He needs guidance at this age. It is typical to dabble in such things (I’m a middle school counselor), but it’s important he understand that pornography of any kind is a distortion of a romantic relationship.
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It’s perfectly normal. Have the talk with him don’t ignore it. Don’t take away his phone. It’s perfectly natural.Talk about diseases and safe sex. And the porn is not what sex is about. I had the talk with my boys when they were real young but I had 4 girls too so I had talks at several different times.
they are all grown with kids of their own having the talks with their children now! 
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My daughter just turned 10, and we had “the talk” last year. I didn’t want her to be afraid to talk to me about anything, so I was just open, honest and kept it light. She has asked me a few additional questions since and I was honest with her. It’s sex, nothing to be scared of and I would not want my child getting wrong info from outside sources. 🤷
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Taking his stuff away won’t help…where there is a will, there is a way. Speaking from experience, it’s time to have those talks about sex and protecting himself, etc. Good luck.
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You approach it calmly and talk to him about what he is feeling and you understand about his interest but do not believe he should be looking at things like that and if he does have any questions to come to you and you both will go somewhere private and talk it out Don’t make him feel that he has done something wrong or degrade him for it He is at a very vulnerable age Follow your heart it well tell you how to handle it just do it in private nobody else needs to know
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Talk about it calm first. Its natural, just let him know how to be protected himself when the time comes…thats all you can do…he should be fine. Let him know that your always there if he has any questions…
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Don’t punish him for being naturally curious and interested…I’d say talk with him and let him know he can talk with you about anything…doesn’t always mean it will be what he wants to hear but he will know he’s getting support and truthful information
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I don’t know if I’d do anything. I think it’s normal for boys to be curious. Id worry if the stuff he was looking at depicted violence towards women. Make sure he doesn’t have questions & try hard to not make anything awkward.
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I am pretty sure he is deleting his history and search engines. He is 15 it’s normal don’t ask him you’ll embarrass him. Just casually talk to him about it
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Its normal. Just talk to him and try to be understanding. Anything else could make the situation bad. Be the one he can trust, not the one he goes behind and hides everything from
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You don’t want porn to show him how his interactions with girls should go. Talk to him. If he keeps doing it after you have explained that he isn’t to do this type of thing, then he will be disobeying you and defying you in addition to watching porn. There have to be relevant consequences.
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Is be honest. Tell him what you found on his phone and talk to him about it. This is an excellent opportunity to discuss the misconceptions of pornography, consent, contraception, etc. Good luck!
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If you havent had the talk yet Then definitely time. All of it. STDs is a very important subject. No one likes that convo but most important… no means no… but if so… condoms!!
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The amount of people who are upset that she went through his phone is astonishing!! She is his mother, and has every right to go through that CHILDS phone. He is not some grown ass adult who gets the freedom of doing what he wants when he wants. That is what is wrong with kids these days, lack of concerened parents, and just letting their children do as they please!! And people wonder why their children go missing or are assaulted, its because they are allowed to do as they please with no adult supervision, and are not taught to not give any personally information on the internet. And if they are taught, it doesnt mean all children follow that rule. Good on you mom for checking his phone and making sure he isn’t doing anything bad. I do the same thing with my children. They are kids and need protecting from things/people that are on the internet. Just talk with your son, dont punish him, its all part of growing up. Just keep supervising and make yourself avaliable when he needs you.
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The fact that the talk should have happened long ago is something that nothing can be done about now, but you definitely need to do it now. Don’t make it a big deal or make him feel bad though.
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I wouldn’t take the phone away but I would definitely talk to him. Approach him gently, make sure that he knows you’re not angry. Does he know you check the phone? I’d say that your talk should ensure he understands that porn isn’t an accurate representation of sex, and that hopefully he isn’t viewing women only as objects. That being said, reiterate that sex is a normal and healthy part of life but is not something to be rushed into. And be prepared for the fact that he might refuse to talk to you at all. He is a teen.
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But I wouldn’t mention that you know he is looking at porn. As long as it isn’t anything dangerous or sketchy. Keep the convo above board. Show that you are human too.
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I attended a child safety program. The police officer said,
“Allowing your child on the internet unsupervised is like dropping them off alone in the middle of New York City. They will see everything, and potentially be lured in, and you won’t be there to stop it.”
In your house, like in mine, the internet cat is out of the bag, and we can’t take it away now.
The talk has to start pronto, and is going to have to go in bizarre places, just like the internet.
The memes, furries, anime, hentai, fetishes of all varieties, are constantly in your kids field of awareness.
You can’t make him unknow or unsee. What you must inform him of is how unrealistic and unreal it is.
And you must assure he is not does not fall for a predator, and that he is not accidentally inappropriate with a female who he might like.
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Make it a learning experience without preaching. Once they do the eye roll you’ve lost them.
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My 14cur old got caught by grandmom as well!! He was staying at her house for the weekend so she talked to him and then when he got home I talked to him!!! Its normal for kids this age to look at different things!!!
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Have “the talk”. But also talk about the sex slave industry (no he’s not too young, my sister did it with all three of her boys) so that he understands that porn is filled with women who are not doing it of their own free will.
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Strong Mothers, Strong Son’s by Meg Meeker…
is a GREAT book and talks about how to handle situations like these, among many many others we encounter with our sons.
It’s important to have a talk with him that doesnt make him feel ashamed…
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If it were me, I would simply have the conversation, things aren’t like they once were. Kids are a lot more savvy then we give them credit for. Good luck!
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Love this post!! And I love the smart and positive feedback. We have girls and we talk often about how they are changing and what is okay and not okay and to respect their bodies. I love this page!!
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Been there done that… we had “the talk”, I took his phone away for approximately 6 months and I explained that porn is disrespectful to women. Put the fear of God in that child. … good luck hun.
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In my opinion 15 is pretty late to have “the talk” (not judging just my opinion) but I’d definitely have that talk with him and make sure he knows that sex is normal and okay as long as consensual and safe. Also male sure he knows that sex in real life isn’t always like porn (at least I hope not at that age) make sure he knows he can come to you with any questions and maybe buy him some condoms just in case (it can be super embarrassing to ask mom for condoms and just because he’s not sexually active now doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be prepared)
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I wouldn’t tell him you seen him looking it up he may think it is a invasion of his privacy which it kinda is BUT I would bring up the birds and bees convo with him and talk to him about that stuff how to be safe etc. if he thinks your going through his stuff he may have a bad reaction to it
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So so normal for his age. Please please don’t over react. If you’ve educated him on respecting ALL people, he will grow to manhood just fine. Trust and honesty, and communicating the way it seems you are👍
This is perfectly natural. It’s difficult for us moms to accept our kids are growing up.
You do need to have “the talk” or if you can’t face it then get him an age appropriate book about puberty and tell him if he has any questions after reading it you are there for him 
I wouldn’t mention the cartoon porn though, he needs some privacy and he will think you are just spying on him. Its hard to get trust back after that. Good luck x
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In my opinion and I’m sure you probably have a lot of them. Find out what he knows first don’t be angry. Help him understand things so if and when he does decide to do things he is safe about it!
Its time to talk. I’d get Dad involved as well if he plays a role in his life. Boys don’t want to talk sex with Mom, just like girls don’t like discussing menstruation with Dad.
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But kids/teens now know alot more than they pretend to know. Especially if in high school. So he probably already knows everything you might think he doesn’t. Guys talk in the locker room.
Keep looking. Talk to him or have his dad talk about porn, exploitation, unreasonable expectations
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Do not say you searched his phone. You will let him know you do not trust him. You will also embarrass him. Get him a book. You might say …look your at an age where and it may be uncomfortable to talk to me about such…but here is some good info and please know I’m here if you have any questions…you can also ask …your doctor, father, older brother, uncle…etc. Sexuality is a normal body function and should be treated as such. He probably knows more than you think. Just make sure he has the CORRECT info. Good luck.
I had the talk with my son at age 8. I was gonna teach him.before the school did and we talked on every subject. He still laughs about it, but remembers it well. We are also really close and talk about everything. He comes to me for personal advice at age 17 … I love that.
When my son was that age the only talk we had when I knew he was checking that stuff out on line. Was that ya know how cartoons and stuff are fantasy and not reality right. Of course he said yes. So I said just remember the same thing applies to porn. He kinda gasped a bit and said ok point taken lol. End of Conversation he is 20 now and treats his lady like gold.
This actually happened with my son. I talked to him about it. I was very open as to when he should look at these things (at home and definitely not at school). I also talked about appreciate content to save to his phone and not to talk to anyone online on any of these sites. He looked at it for a couple of months and then has quit. I still look at his phone from time to time just to check what exactly he is looking at
Maybe have the talk…but dont tell him you go through his phone? It might make his think he has no privacy and will delete things or keep them from you 
ive seen how that stuff ends
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When it happened to my sister with my nephew, she just had the talk with him & that it was normal for him to begin to get interested in it but just not to do it on devices that are not his (cause he was that’s how we found out). Also I would say to stop checking his phone cause than he is gunna begin to not trust you & not want to confide in you about anything. Also don’t judge him.
I would definitely have the talk with him. I have a 14 year old and we just went through all of this. Just remember to tell him that it’s natural, normal, and he can always reach out if he has questions during this time. You got this Mama