Should I be concerned with what my son was looking up on his phone?

Time for a sit down good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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I had the sex talk with my son when he was 7 because he asked. It’s probably going to be awkward at this point to have that talk since your son is plenty old enough to know what sex is from his friends and the internet, but you could just remind him that sex and hormone bullshit is normal. Taking his phone is a jackass move, you shouldn’t even be going through it at all. Your son is a person, you should respect his privacy. Just remind him that if he decides to have sex to use protection and tell him as casually as possible that if he has questions he can come to you without judgment.

Omg please do not ask about the porn. I would be mortified if my parents confronted me about that no matter what they told me. I say just have the talk. But leave the porn alone :joy:

If he’s 15 and you haven’t already had the talk then you’re failing as a parent !!! He’s 15 he knows more than the talk at this point , let the boys jack off in peace mind your own business !!

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Stop going though his phone

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My dad never went through my phone, it’s an invasion of privacy especially at that age. Your son is almost 15, he knows about sex by now from school, friends, etc. but you can still talk to him and give him your point of view if you feel necessary. I personally don’t feel he did anything wrong or bad, he’s a 15 year old boy, he’s getting to be that age. My best advice is don’t raise a sneaky child by invading his privacy. He will just end up hiding things from you.

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It’s normal although he’s too young it’s not gonna kill him. Talk to him about safe and consentual sex. A lot of internet sites have that hardcore aspect to it that can mess up the way he should be seeing normal vanilla sex. I’m not saying he can’t like more hardcore stuff but I’m talking about the rape play pages. Ya feel. Safe condoms and birth control and safe environment. Consensual is what I’m doing what she wants I should ask.

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I think at this age you should stop checking his phone.
He needs his privacy…for the people saying "hes a kid he doesn’t need privacy) umm yes he does. Hes almost 15…his privacy for example is his porn…
Or private conversations with guy friends if his mother is being a bitch…we all know kids go through that stage and should have freedom of speech without worrying about their mother/father reading through it and getting upset.
I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to see that or if he has a girlfriend I’m sure he wouldn’t feel comfortable with you reading his messages nor would the girlfriend/boyfriend since that’s an invasion on privacy on both ends.

He’s getting a little too old for that “check his phone”

Also if I were you I wouldn’t mention anything about the porn since that may embarrass him or make him resent you for awhile for going through his private things. I would just sit him down and say “you’re getting older so I would like to finally have this talk with you”
Tell him it’s normal at this stage to be hormonal.
He is going to soon be curious about sex soon if he isn’t already.
Explain to him sex isn’t a bad thing but to take precautions if he does at some point decide to take part in sexual activity like always use condoms to protect from STI’s and pregnancy.

Just have the talk with him and make sure you tell him in the shower and privacy is everything. Hunny your a few years late on the talk. I had it with my 15 yr old at 11. And I just had the talk with my 11 yr old

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Id just ask if he has questions añd open lines of communication. I wouldn’t bring up the porn. It’s normal and nothing to worry about. If you haven’t had the talk that’s a bit worrysome.

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I would just talk with him and see first if it’s porn in general or if it’s just something his friend had mentioned and he wasn’t sure what it was (I’m 19 years old and still do that :sweat_smile:) but if it’s porn in general, just explain it’s usually unrealistic and sex isn’t actually like that

Punishing him for being a boy & exploring is a little harsh. Just have the talk!

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You have the talk about reality verse fantasy. How being too involved/hooked, can one day put a damper on his serious relationship/marriage. That it can become an addiction and have negative affects on him and his family.
Porn sets a tone or standard, and they begin thinking all bodies are perfect. They might like something that someday their wife won’t have/do. Sex is an intimate thing between partners. Sex safety, protection and responsibility is super important.

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I would talk to him. I would explain that curiosity is normal. I would also explain that anything he sees on pornography is not normally how a sexual relationship is actually played out. That pornography is actors for entertainment, and not at all what he can expect it to be like when he becomes sexually active. I would also tell him to make sure his siblings don’t see it accidentally, as they are younger.

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Have the talk because it’s important. Let him know masturbation is healthy but certain pornography isn’t. Explain he needs to be careful what he looks up, now and in the future. And I will add that (some) anime porn is used as a visual because it’s a way older viewers can look at under age characters without any consequences. My 25 and 18 year old just recently explained this to me.

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Definitely against punishment for simple human nature.

I think 15 is well past the age you should have had a talk with him BUT you know your kid better then anyone else. That being said. Never punish for something that is human nature food, sex exc. Exc punishing for those types of things leads to very unhealthy behaviour later. Talk to the kid. Talk about safe sex talk about time and a place and let him have his privacy. And most importantly teach him looking into hentai can very much lead to the FBI knocking on your door so be careful with that one (I’m kinda joking on that part though but really some weird shit there lmao)

The sex talk should’ve come way before now but better late than never. And stop going through is phone if you dont have a reason to. It’ll ruin you guy’s relationship and make him sneaky.

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15 is a little late to be having “the talk” but definitely do that. I disagree with the comment that you’re invading his privacy by going through his phone. Until he’s 18 and on his own, his actions should be monitored

There are worse things he could be doing. Least he’s not.

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There’s this awesome thing called family link. You down load it for free from your app store. You can set parental controls, track their phone lots of things. I have a 13 and 14 year old and I have it on both of their phones. They can’t look up pornography. Because I blocked it. You can’t see everything they do on their phones but at least setting parameters helps. I’ve been talking to my boys about sex since they were 12ish. Always be open and honest. If you aren’t they will get poor information from their friends. Good luck.

That’s very normal behavior and I wouldn’t make a big scene about it. You should have already had a talk with him, he’s probably pretty google educated.

Personally, I’d ignore those saying “it’s an invasion of his privacy, stop going through his phone, etc etc”
Um… he’s 15 years old yes, but he is STILL a child. It is every parents responsibility to protect their children and monitoring their electronics activity is part of that. There are far too many serious dangers in this world that thrive on use of technology. Punishing him for viewing porn is probably a bit much but I would most definitely have the talk with him. I’m sure you’re not going to tell him anything he doesn’t already know but you still need to do it. Make sure he knows that sex is a beautiful and healthy thing when he’s mature enough to handle it and so is masturbation. You don’t ever want to make your kids feel like sex or masturbation are bad and gross. It’s also possible to have that talk with him without letting him know you went through his phone. The poor kid would probably die of embarrassment.
I remember absolutely hating that my mother went through my phone. Looking back on it now, I understand why she did it and that maybe, had I listened to her, I wouldn’t have ended up in jail at 18 years old because of some boy I thought I loved. My mother always told me that privacy was a privilege in her home and until I’m 18 my life is her business. I totally get it now.

I would tell him that it is normal. I would also tell him that this stuff is just fantasy. It is not to be confused with reality. We would talk about consent, etc. Have a real and very honest conversation with him.

Don’t take his phone away because you’ll make him think he’s doing something bad. Everyone human has the right to experiment with their sexuality and their body and we need to foster it with self respect and education, not discipline. Talk to him about the respect he should instill in himself and in the women he will interact with in his life and whatever else kind of sex talk you or his father want to have with him. Tell him your here for him if he has questions or needs advice or to talk and always keep that communication open with mutual respect

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Perfectly normal but explain to him that it’s inappropriate and could be dangerous. If you are paying for his phone, let him know that it’s unacceptable and next time you’ll have to take the phone for a few days.

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My son is the same age. It’s normal. Let it go. By the way. YES invade his privacy ( that’s good parenting at this age) just don’t let him see you and if you see something dangerous ie drugs, bullying, conversation with older people unknown to you, etc then you say something and talk. Otherwise quietly monitor him in the background while he navigates the teen years. This is puberty. It’s normal.

Talk to him about respect. How would he feel about seeing his mom or sisters in that situation? While this stuff is normal curiosity, it’s not respectful or appropriate.

Way past time for the talk but better late than never find our what he knows dont take his phone let him be

Sex should never be a taboo subject. Kids have questions and parents even though it is uncomfortable need to answer them. Otherwise they figure it out on their own. So have the “talk”. Let him know that it is ok to have fantasies and that it is ok in the private of his room that he can view porn. Also buy condoms. And give them to him. Tell him how to use them. And then hope that he does the right Hong. My only son is 17. He was 3 when I caught him playing with himself watching Miley Cyrus. We had the talk then. We then had a talk at 6 when he got too big for me to help during bath time. We then talked at 10 when he asked me about what they taught in school. We then talked again when he was 13 about stds and to always wear a condom. Then at 15 when I caught him and his girlfriend being very close(no sex but only cause they had clothes still on). That is when I got condoms and we had a another talk about sex. Just talk to him about it

He’s about 5 years past kids starting to be curious about this stuff. I would say have the talk but don’t tell him you invaded his privacy because it will make him less likely to want to open up to you out of embarrassment. Nobody wants their mom to start the conversation with them like “so I saw porn in your search history…” and I also don’t think it’s necessary to take his phone over it.

Completely normal. And yeah you should have the talk, but center it more around protection and respecting his partners.

I’m sorry don’t invade his privacy my butt .More parents need to get more involved don’t make him feel bad about it tell him it’s natural to wonder. About girls yet there is a big thing called Respect for others and them selfs real men don’t watch porn they don’t need to

I’d talk to him. I did with my 13 year old and we now have a very open life that he knows he can talk to me about anything. Just dont be accusatory. Show your love and concern over his health and healthy life choices.

I stopped invading my daughter phone when she was 12 and could tell me everything. She’s 17 now and we talked freely as friends and mom and daughter.

Show him real porn. Cartoons are for kids. But honestly dont take his phone. Have the talk. Talk about safety. Respect. Love and how those things can make or break someone. Just be honest and talk as if you would talk to the man who you would want in your life. The man learns from his family. So show him what a respectable young man should be like. He will be fine. If not embarrassed for having the talk with you.

Way past time for the talk. You want him to learn it from you not the web.

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Talk to him about it he is at the age where friends will get him in to a lot of stuff!!! Better to have the info come from you then a friend!!!

Do not embarrass him, and do not invade his privacy. Have an UNRELATED discussion about his body and what he is feeling is NORMAL.

can dad talk to him? i have one son and i know he would want dad , he did want i should say

Now is the time to talk to him about safe sex, respecting women’s wishes and making sure he himself is respected. Let him know the consequences of having sex too early and without protection. At that age they are thinking the worse that could happen is getting pregnant. How you deal with the porn is up to you. Some believe it’s inappropriate and shouldn’t be watched. It depends on your beliefs ect.

Look everyone is right and wrong. Ive raised a couple humans and remember myself and it just depends on the individual child and the relationship. I know several guys in their 20’s who struggled with internet porn addiction. Its so common we have no idea, parents just don’t want to deal with it and its not a comfortable subject. Be open, monitoring the phone is your choice but also do give them some privacy. Just give them some direction and check in even when theyre assholes! Internet porn is truly an epidemic among young men/boys thats we need to address socially given how much our lives revolve around the internet.

I wouldn’t take away his phone, but I would have a discussion about it… Not a bad one or anything. I wouldn’t try to make him feel like he did something wrong… I would also make him aware that what happens in porn is not normally what happens during sex

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My daughter is 14. I bought her her cell phone, I pay the package for it and etc. I told her upon getting the phone that I was to know every password for her accts and to get into her phone. When she wants it all to be a secret she can get a job when she is above age, and her first place and buy her own things and have all the privacy she wants! Until then, I will know I have access IF needed. I do NOT go through her phone ever unless I absolutely have too,which she has had this phone for 3 years and I have gone through it TWICE! Once when she was caught at school cutting herself and I went through it right beside her to see some of the stuff her so called “friends” were saying and second time was a month ago when her 1st little heartbreak happened and I went through the txts to see what was said so I knew how to help her without her self harming. It all boils down to trust technically. If you can’t trust your child with a phone and internet access then maybe that child shouldn’t have one. And puberty stage, well that’s gonna happen and there’s plenty of ways they can look at all the “goodies” they want without the internet. But id much rather one of my boys look at that and handle their business then go out there and be experimenting it with random people. Just saying. All in my opinion though.

Time for the talk. And I do believe that cell phones have parental controls

Somebody needs to teach hom. Because you dont want him.learning what sex is from porn. There is some demented stuff out there

My son is 12, i had the talk with him last year as soon as i found out he was getting erections. I also talked with him about porn, it’s normal, if you punish him he might take it as sex is bad. Just explain that porn is not normal sex but dramatized acting. There is always a time and place for masturbation. Not if but when he does have sex to take precautions. Be realistic but also inform about abstinence is best.

My boyfriend went through my daughter’s phone when she left it out one day. Found out my then 13 year old had found Pornhub, privately we had a chuckle about it. Then a few days later I asked her for her phone so I could look something up about something we were watching because my tablet refuses to multitasking, and what should be right there when I open the browser. I used that time to teach about privacy, and closing tabs so she didn’t get in trouble at school as well as about how it’s not super real. Don’t punish your kiddo over stuff like this, it will create shame that will do no one any good. It’s a normal part of growing up.

You’re a creep if you’re going through your child’s phone at 15 still. Let him love his life. Sex isn’t bad for anybody and neither is porn.

Been there done that. I just told him everybody has done it at one time or another but at 7 he was too young. Now hes older and I told him that shit is not realistic and to not expect any of the when the time comes that he does start having sex.

Just keep loving him