As his wife I feel like he should respect me and tell his sister that its not his friend its hers. Ive never heard this woman’s name in over 9 years until all of a sudden. Is she really that important? Maybe I’m wrong maybe not… I just don’t see the point. I did go meet her one time she was down and all that was said was hi nice to meet you. That was it. I also don’t feel like this friend is in a happy marriage and when she started coming around it was a really bad time for me and my husband and this friend and her boyfriend at the time were having issues now they are married but he drinks alot and never comes to “visit” with the sister and friend… Theres so many details that have to be left out bc this would be a really long post if not. But am I over reacting?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I Be upset about his so called childhood friend?
Yes. You are fully over reacting. Get over yourself and stop micromanaging your SO. just because you don’t like his sister doesn’t mean he has to nor does your feelings dictate his feelings for his sister and friend. You are the issue here. I have friends who I haven’t seen in years but would love to catch up once n awhile.
I could see the cause for concern, I’d discuss it with your husband. Tell him how it makes you feel.
Follow your conscious. Talk to the Sister in law and your Husband. A third party is never welcome In my Marriage!
Over reacting for sure. Get a grip and move on
I really don’t see this as a big deal. You can’t control every little thing that he does. If you really think something will happen just have her always bring the friend to your house so you can watch them.
First of all you were showing your insecurities about your marriage that’s a red flag secondly you’re going to make a big issue with your husband which is going to make him upset with you thirdly when the husband goes to visit with the friend I would go to we would go as a couple that was surely piss your sister-in-law off but it would also show a united front for you and your husband there’s more than one way to get around a sister-in-law that doesn’t like you or you don’t like her as well play the game honey go with your husband or have them at your house for dinner that would really irritate them that to sit through a whole dinner I hope things work out but I wouldn’t let her by no means upset my apple cart
Yes… .you are over reacting… you obviously have that man on a short leash…and you try to put his sister on a short leash. How can she disrespect you with childhood stories. It isn’t like she is telling your husband she wishes he would have married this friend…in front of you. He did have a life before.you. And I guarantee he will have a life after you if you don’t change your ways.
So go with him. My siblings best friends are family to us. I think I see them every time I’ve been home. There’s nothing to back up a negative reason why he can’t catch up with a family friend. Why can’t you go with and have a nice time. Ask her about funny stories about him growing up… If you have such little trust in your partner why are you together?
Yeah I’d go with him absolutely NO doubt; it’s either us or you’re not going period because i find it strange that it couldn’t be both of us coming. If my brother or my husband sister ever do anything I or him is always invited it’s never even a thought
It’s simple. You don’t go… he don’t go. … and no, I don’t think you’re overreacting. If he’s still going knowing it’s upsetting you… you need to have a serious talk with him about boundaries.
Jealousy will kill a relationship. Either you trust him or you don’t.
I think you are over reacting for sure. Especially about reminiscing on child hood stories 
chill out girl. You’ll end up chasing him away yourself with these insecurity issues you have. Work on that first, then access.
You do realize he had a life before you right! That doesn’t just go away. It’s part of who they are. You need to take a chill pill.
You lost me with “disrespecting me with childhood stories”…are you really that insecure and jealous that you are threatened by the telling of childhood stories. If so you need therapy, and lots of it.
You’re definitely over reacting. I have childhood best friends I rarely speak too or about. But if the opportunity came for us to visit and my brothers were available to join I’d be all for it and absolutely not to set them up. I LOVE my sister in law. Maybe these people were MY friends. But my siblings were around and I’m proud of them! I love being like, “look how big and cool my little brothers are.” 
Girl, should he respect your feelings? Absolutely. But when they’re justified. It’s your job to be more self aware and realize when your feelings are unrealistic and stemming from insecurity. It’s your job to keep them in check and refrain from making controlling demands or throwing around accusations. Relationships require trust and until he give you a factual reason not to trust him, try to relax. 
I don’t see the big deal they all grew up together feel ya over reacting I’m friends with my friends brothers and vist if you don’t trust him what’s the actual point of your relationship!
Im sorry. But this sounds like something a possessive and insecure partner would say.
What now?!! He sees his mate sometimes and you have a problem with this? If her marriage is struggling, she needs her friends. Your feller is her friend. Get a grip!!
My man has 8 sisters if I acted this way everytime one of the girls life long friends whated to say hi to my man I’d be crazy insane and he’d drop me like a bag of rocks…calm down…this is more ur prob then his and looking to him to fix ur prob isnt gonna get u anywhere!
Sounds a lot like jealousy to me. You haven’t given not one legit reason as to why your husband can’t see her. Just because she’s more his sister friend then his doesn’t mean it’s not his friend as well. My best friend from high school lives out of state we don’t talk all the time and he’s married but when he comes to town we link up and have lunch or just talk. I don’t have hi talk to him every day for him to be my friend nor do you have to know every last one of his friends.
You may be over reacting but you may not. You said you left out a bunch of details. I think we’d have to know what you left out to make that determination. Just going off what you said. Yes you’re over reacting
You left out the rest of the details which would’ve been a lot more important to your story nobody would care how long your post is as long as you at least get to the point you don’t put every little nook and cranny in there he gave the major points. Other than that if you feel uncomfortable then tell him you guys go together or he doesn’t get out. I mean it doesn’t make sense and I understand it’s a sister’s friend sometimes that can raise flags because yeah if you see a lot of movies sometimes the sisters friend is always the one he’s in love with her brother. So it does come to question of that but what you need to do is speak up and say something.
I’m kinda getting the toxic,controlling vibe from your post… I mean disrespecting you by telling childhood stories? You realize he had a life before you right?
I’m going to need the rest of the details because I don’t see the problem. The only problem that I see is you. 
You seem VERY insecure and controlling. A bit childish too. If you can’t/don’t trust your husband, you shouldn’t be married. 
It must suck being married to you.
I feel like too much is left out for us to determine whether you’re overreacting or not.
If a left out detail is - he has intimate history with the friend, and, “childhood” time was late teens/early 20s to your later 20s early 30s now… then sure, the friend is an ex and you should be included to the visit or he respects your ask to decline a visit. If those 2 details do not apply… then, I’d let it go and do a self inventory to figure out why youre bothered by it so much. Trust issues? Maybe it’s more his sister that bothers you than actually the friend. Confront the real issue.
“By telling childhood stories”
First of all, I’d divorce you right there if I wasn’t able to talk about my past and be able to move forward from it with you. Second, you’d be divorced over how controlling you are. Let them see their family friends!
So many men that reach out to me for both resources and just support and to talk when they are going through a hard time express that they feel uncomfortable bc I’m married and have a family. Seriously EVERY SINGLE ONE I’ve worked with at very least asks me if they are starting problems in my household or they themselves say they wouldn’t be OK with their partner talking to another man for 2 hours through tests or calls. It’s heartbreaking to me bc we do not talk inappropriately in any way and I Make sure of that much! Any man that has begun to cross any line i reel them in quickly and let them know that that is not what this is and I’m just here to help and they need to be respectful of my boundaries and my family. I assure you that that conversation has only ever needed to be had once🤷♀️ But what I literally cannot imagine is the guy who calls me, sometimes midnight or 7am, bc he’s barely holding on from having a drink, white knuckling as it is bc he’s afraid to “bother” me and says he knows it’s not my problem😥 If he just drank rather than reaching out that would be a huge failure on my part💯 My husband WOULD NEVER try to take any of what I do from me🗣 And this isn’t my “job”, it’s not something I get paid for that brings us money, it’s just what I feel my duty as an individual that’s been in recovery and used some less conventional methods to get and stay there and at the end of the day, it’s just what I’ve become good at🥰 Ppl from all over reach out to me all the time! I have gotten ppl into centers, into MAT programs, plugged them in with their local meetings, all kinds of community resources, rides, food, you name it…If I CAN then I WILL! I was insecure myself before I learned to start my own internal work so it’s not like I can’t empathize with you but fr this is just a problem inside of you and it is very much fixable if you want it to be. If you consider talking about things ya’ll did as kids as disrespect i can’t imagine you 2 can have a very open and honest relationship and imo that’s the biggest relationship killer🤷♀️ Ppl cheat. I get it and I know it’s true but the thing is if you are tripping all the time about things like this then you’re basically wishing it into existence yourself already so of course now there’s a good chance it’s going to happen. Your partner is your partner… Either you trust them or you don’t. None of what I read here is healthy though, for either of you
TRUST YOUR GUT 
SIL should hangout with the childhood friend if SHE’S so inclined. Childhood friendships eventually fade. I don’t understand why she feel like she has to ALWAYS facilitate YOUR HUSBAND’S continuing to have any kind of relationship/contact with this particular person? Does she secretly think she’s a better choice for him 
need more detail, but all so call family ain’t always in your corner.
No, just go with him say ok let’s go visit. Sounds like his sister is planning hook ups.
Run on instinct if you don’t feel comfortable make a plan to change it Goodluck
Yes, you’re overreacting and sound suuuuper toxic.
If he felt a certain way about HER he would have married HER long ago… He’s married to YOU NOT HER. Even if her and her husband are having problems it doesn’t mean anything will happen she wants to talk to her friends and have a support system, which is a great thing. I’ve been with my husband since January 2010 married since January 2011 in the first 8 months of us dating we went to a biker rally and a family friend showed up I hadn’t met her yet, my sister in law and my husband took the golf cart to the front gate to get her, she knew we were dating and asked him if she could sit on his lap and said if you think Kandice would get mad I will respect her and sit in back. He said I don’t think she will mind she’s not that type of person, which I’m really not but it upset me because I jumped to conclusions that this was just some random female on his lap. I started to walk away from the camp site and they got there he jumped off the golf cart and ran after me and was confused I explained why I was going home and I’d find a way on my own. He said she’s a family friend and like an older sister to him. He told me she asked him if I’d be bothered by her sitting on his lap and he said no because I’d never acted that way but we’d also never been in a situation like that and I just was having flashbacks of old bad relationships. She came up to me and apologized (she didn’t need to at all) I apologize to her too. We have seen her maybe 3 times in almost 12 years so if he wants to catch up with her when she’s here so be it. As I said before he married YOU NOT HER, if he wanted her he could have made that choice long ago just like my husband could have with his childhood friend (he has a few female childhood friends where that could have been the scenario) but he didn’t pick them or vice versa. He picked ME. Maturity is a great look on EVERYONE be mature!
I do not think you are overreacting at all. It actually sounds like his sister may be trying to hook him up with her friend low-key. Especially if this girl has not been around or mentioned in the past several years. Listen to your gut and you def don’t need a bunch of ladies telling you that your controlling or insecure or need counseling. It’s not support if they are telling you all if this it’s only going you feel worse for listening to your gut instinct. Tell him how you feel and if it’s more important to him to go than how you feel then there’s your answer. Good luck!
Get a grip, lady. You need to grow up
Not over reacting, go with him every time to say hello and stick to him like glue. If they start sneaking to visit or saying you aren’t invited, time for you to leave. You are wort more than that. Praying for you.
You’re overreacting! Everyone has a past. Stories of his childhood and the time before he met you, shouldn’t upset you. If you can’t trust your husband, you shouldn’t be married to him. It’s as simple as that.
Of course you are overreacting. It’s a childhood friend. Jealousy is so ugly.
If a wife feels she can not trust her husbands sisters friend around him & the husband doesn’t make ANY effort in acknowledging the feelings/insecurity and put her mind at ease/bring her along for trust… it is completely OK for it to NOT BE OK. It is the SISTERS FRIEND, which means it is not his friend. He had no contact with her for 9 years… why is it a must to see her? without you? Your married to him, if any girl I haven’t ever met was to step foot in my house to “see” my husband after 9 years… I would be there the entire time.
My childhood best friend came to town and I called all my brothers over for a BBQ. We grew up together so why wouldn’t they want to see each other?
We all would be hanging out! Don’t make it uncomfortable or they will make plans that don’t include you and you don’t want that.
Trust your instincts. If something feels off talk about it. Good luck
You know you’re not wrong
Theres some bullshit going on and you know it
Control pissing match…
Unless you aren’t invited for some reason or they used to have an intimate relationship when they were younger, you’re over reacting… Don’t let irrational jealousy drive you to be controlling and lose trust if he hasn’t done anything to deserve those responses.
You sound like a giant red flag.
He has a right to visit her if his sisters childhood friend was around lots when they were kids they know each other probably pretty well. And talking about childhood stories and memories with friends is how life works jealous much.
You didn’t give 1 legit reason to be offended. Your husband & his sister visit with a friend from their childhood. So? SIL offends you by talking about their childhood. Really? In your head is his life supposed to have started when the 2 of you met? Nothing before you is to be discussed ever by anyone? Maybe they don’t want you around because you’re so easily offended & controlling. Grow up.
Yes, you’re over reacting. In my family, if my mom, dad or siblings called me to come down for any reason, I would do it and let my husband figure it out at home with the kids, period. You feel disrespected because your sister in law told childhood stories, and you weren’t around then, so you feel like you can be upset about that?! What!? How old are you? Lol.
Disrespecting you with childhood stories? Seriously grow the fuck up. You are overreacting and it’s not a good look. He had a life before you.
I def wouldnt put up with this. Make your life abour your happiness. If you arent happy it makes other scenarios toxic too. Some women get jealous(i do). Its who i am so i decided i wont tolerate this long time ago for my own serenity. I would rather be alone with my solitude than swallow my feeling. Never feel bad about your feeling/emotions it can lead to mental illness. If he doesnt understand hes prob not right for you. Your heart/brain prob arent gonna change their minds to accomidate this
Yes 100% you are over reacting and being a controlling partner. Stop.
and when y’all get a divorce make sure you own up to your part, because it sounds like you’re gonna have a big hand in it.
i wouldnt like that scene even one little bit … i would go with him every time , this smells fishy to me
Why do people put this stuff on Facebook,if you think you have a problem,take it to a councilor,maybe they can help,there is NO ONE ON HERE IS GOING TO HELP YOU!!!
Why would Childhood stories disrespect you? 
I was going to say you might be right until we got to the part where you mentioned that his sister “disrespected” you by telling childhood stories. That’s reminiscing, and it’s normal and allowed. You trying to say it’s disrespectful is a major red flag. No one is required to pretend your husband didn’t have a life before you. Even if it is his sister’s friend, that doesn’t mean anything. When you grow up close to your siblings, you grow up with their friends, as well. I consider my sister’s best friend’s daughter my niece, and my best friend’s sister still tags along sometimes when we make plans.
My question is why grown ass adults can’t go even visit with family without their crew?? If I’m going to see my sister, I’m going to see my sister. I don’t assume it’s ok to bring Tom, dick and Harry. I was raised to see that as rude. And once you marry you share your life together. If my husband wasn’t comfortable neither was I. It’s about respect AND consideration. Trust is earned and fleeting. You reassure not continue to destroy it with those who matter. You don’t go in a store and stay if your suspected of shoplifting and you most certainly don’t go back carrying a big empty bag.
You’re overreacting !!! You’re trying to be controlling and that’s going to push him away try to find out more about their childhood there maybe pieces you don’t know about, how about set up dinner for everyone
Hopefully when you say telling childhood stories you meant something super super bad. Not like telling you about past girlfriends and stuff because if that’s the case then I think your the problem. She may just not know what to do with this girl when she visits and stops in at your house for a visit? Ultimately with the story your giving I don’t think it’s a big deal and your over reacting. You sound like the jealousy emotion gets the best of you and if that’s the case seek counseling to find out why.
You are over reacting. Act like you don’t care. Your husband may not give a crap about this person but might go see her just to make you mad.
I think you need to truly take time to look at yourself and figure out what is causing such jealousy in your relationship. People are allowed to have other females in their life (non sexual obviously) without you having to think it’s “sketchy”. Also, what else is someone suppose to say when they meet you? We’re you expecting her to kiss your ass? For what? She doesn’t “owe” you anything other than a hi nice to meet you. (I know this is coming of rude but I truly don’t mean it to be, I’m just super blunt)
If you are worried about your husband cheating with this woman than you need to reevaluate your relationship and leave this girl out of it. Your husband would be the one acting on this and he’s your problem, not her. Counseling for yourself and marriage counseling would truly help. I hope you can heal from whatever it is that has made you insecure in relationships, you don’t deserve to get yourself so worked up over this. Good luck!
Kinda sounds like you trying to control him & that’s a red flag. Maybe he should be the one running for the hills.
Nope. I would be suspicious of this also.
Am I missing something? What’s so wrong with him wanting to make time to see a childhood friend? When my best friend comes to visit (she stays across the country) my brother and sister often try to make time to see her. She’s been in our lives for more than 20 years! Have they got a history or something? That’s the only reason I would see a slight problem with this situation. If not, you’re being petty as f*** and need to grow up.
Sounds like the friend wants your hubby and sissy is playing match maker or played match maker and hubby now uses sis as an excuse to see his side piece
The only thing that would be disrespectful is if he slept with this “friend” and that’s the childhood stuff that was brought up.
I wouldn’t listen to you either tbh… you sound petty asf.
I think you have valid suspicions. Your gut is telling you this for a reason. But that doesn’t mean anything is going on. Like you said you have gone through some hard times. But communication is key. Talk it out with your partner and try and get to the bottom of why you feel that way.
Dont trust her keep her away
I have had the same 3 friends for 30 years. Yes they were my friends but looked at my little brother as a brother. They love him and he lives them. His girlfriends over the years hated them because they were close as well. Jealousy is ridiculous. Yes we have funny inappropriate stories from when we were all younger. We were kids and teens. But we were family and he was my mini and spent as much time with them as I did. But all his girlfriends over the years are controlling and he’s not allowed to speak to them. It breaks their heart. Let him visit his friend. Be an adult. He’s with you and married to you.
Some of yall also need to seek therapy and work through insecurities. Yalls husband’s are allowed to see and hangout with childhood friends. They are allowed friends of the opposite sex. They are not your property.
Sounds like you don’t trust your husband and if that’s the case you shouldn’t be with him. If there is no trust in a relationship it’s doomed. You must be insecure because I’m sure if this childhood friend was a guy you wouldn’t trip at all…you need to chill
Go with him and see if you are overreacting. My siblings and I all have friends in common, we talk to each other and reminiscence about the past all the time. This should not be found offensive or disrespectful. I have an old boyfriend that still comes around to my parents house and calls my parents mom and dad. I think you are a little insecure in your relationship and should talk to your husband about how this makes you feel and why it makes you feel that way.
There’s a snake in the grass…
Yes. Overreacting. Let him be. Don’t lose trust. Reverse the situation. You have nothing to worry about…unless you make it a problem. And you are. Your husband is not your kid…don’t choose his friends.
When you met her 1 time all she sed was nice to meet you, that’s all she was required to say to you. How is telling stories from childhood considered disrespecting you? I don’t understand how a true story from the past could ever be considered disrespectful. Stop trying to control your husband, jealousy looks ugly on everyone.
Yes you are overreacting. How childish can you be to get upset and feel disrespected over them telling childhood stories??? Come on now!!! Grow up!!! That was BEFORE YOU. He had a life and friends before you. If you can’t accept that you need to just stay single…
You keep acting like that you gonna push him away. You never stated he cheated on you so it’s not like he’s giving you a reason to be suspicious
You have a right to feel exactly how you’re feeling. Period. If you’re uncomfortable with your husband spending time with other women and he chooses to ignore those feelings, he’s disrespecting you. I wouldn’t want my husband spending time with other women without me I don’t really care if other people don’t like it. We can both go, or neither of us can go. I wouldn’t expect him to let me spend time with male friends on my own either.
Choose the hill you want to die on. Is this the one you wanna break up your marriage over? You are overreacting and need to leave it be because your incessant nagging is going to push him to do something you will not like. Good luck!
How tf does a childhood story disrespect you in any way whatsoever. Lmfao. It’s a fukn story
Go with your gut if u feel like something not right u need to approach the whole 3 off them .off cause u should be respected in your own home. If they don’t wanna respected you just don’t have them back in your house. It sounds too me your husband don’t care about how you feeling towards it .good luck on your marriage hope all goes well for you.
Ohhhh noooo he has a childhood?! He has friends?! How dare he!!! Gurl leave him, he’s obviously sleeping with literally everyone that’s how you sound 
grow up
I feel like this is satire 
Trust your instincts ALWAYS!!!
People can be so mean giving advice like grow up. You said there was more to the story. Has your husband ever slept with this girl before you and him were together. Was wondering why you felt disrespected with the stories she told. If your husband has been with her in the past. This definitely is not good. Another weird thing. If this is such a good friendship and everyones intentions are pure. How come your husband doesn’t beg you to go with him and want to share in that great friendship in hopes you would like her too. And when I wondered why you felt disrespected by her stories I mean by the sister in law.
Yes!!! You never said anything about them dating in the past??? I have a son and a daughter and they are warm and friendly with each other’s friends like family…no hanky panky with no disrespect!!!
How does his sister telling a childhood story disrespect you?
It sounds like it’s just a family friend.
Yes… yes you’re over reacting…
But I wouldn’t mind an elaboration of how telling childhood stories of HER brother and her childhood would be “disrespectful” thafuq .
I would go with him every time they want to visit. Had this happen to me and after me showing up all the time it ended
You must be a teenager lol
Can the sister not talk about childhood with her brother if you weren’t involved/in said stories? How is their childhood disrespecting you? 
You know siblings can share friends right? It’s not always just “his friend” or “her friend”. I have afew friends that I haven’t Talked to in years so my boyfriend hasn’t seen/met them. And might have only heard a name once. Doesn’t mean they weren’t/aren’t my friends. from the sounds of it he probably avoids talking about anything involving a female cause it’ll set you off.
Youre not overreacting, there is no reason for this woman to have to see your husband everytime she is visiting your sister in law. This woman sounds to me like she is sweet on your husband, who knows maybe your sister in law wants your husband to be with her. Sounds very suspicious to me.
Go with your husband to visit the friend, be friendly, etc. If sis doesn’t like it - that is her problem, not yours.
The level of insecurities you’re all showing 
some of you are cool.
I’ll keep saying this “If You Don’t Trust Your Husband, Why Did You Get Married?”
Stay single
Have him invite his Sister and the Friend to Your home to visit.
Your SIL told childhood stories about your husband and YOU felt disrespected? How does his childhood stories being shared disrespect you at all?
I can’t tell if this is satire or not.