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QUESTION:
"Good day to one and all I have a question that is bugging me. I have been married from April now I have been hearing stories about my wife she was staying in this granny flat of a man that she knows. His wife made comments about them having a affair this I hear two weeks ago. But it was before we started to date but he since got divorced he called her about a week ago. Considering thay have been friends for a long time worked together as well. He asked her a strange question if she is still married. Need some help on this matter please no nasty comments"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"To me personally, it’s your spouses answer that should matter. I’d hope they either set some final boundaries or cut them off completely. If not, definitely express how this situation makes you uncomfortable."
"What was the response from your wife? I mean, I get comments from random ass men on fb saying “oh wish you were single” and I just say I don’t and then block them. I think its more about what was the response of your wife. Did she tell you he asked her that question? Did you see it in her phone?"
"I wouldnt put up with this. You deserve better. I would speak up to her/him. There was a time in my life i did tolerate and it made me sick. You cant help what you’re feeling. Accept/roll with your gut feeling you shouldnt be ashamed for that"
"I wouldn’t put up with this. You deserve to be in a trusting and transparent relationship. Please speak to her and if it still continues, you know in your heart what you need to do! Good luck mate"
"Speak to her that way you will find out whats going on good luck"
"He’s knocking on the door to an affair. The real thing that matters is if she answers"
"You need to not worry about what happened before you and you to not worry about him contacting your wife. What you should be concerned with is her response. Friends or not, if she is entertaining him, that’s your issue. You can’t control others and what they say/do, only yourself and your actions/reactions. If your spouse loves you, she will shut that shit down on her own. If she doesn’t, you may need to reevaluate your relationship. Communication is key, so make sure you address your concerns with your wife and go from there."
"He probably wanted to talk his problems over with her as a trusted friend Sit down and talk all this over calmly in your own house Don’t just go by rumours because several people are just jealous and want to stir up trouble for someone else Your discussion with your wife is what is important to solve the problem Hope everything works out well for you both"
"Doesnt hurt to ask. Your wifes response is much more important than the question."
"Have you spoken to your wife about this? I’m going to assume there has been SOME conversation about it because you know what he asked on the phone. Obviously he asked if she was still married because he has feelings for her,and that is okay, what wouldn’t be okay is if your wife reciprocated."
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