I’d rather be hurt by the truth than be told a lie. Causes trust issues…
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Sketchy. I’d say If he loves his boy so much he sure can go pack HIS SHIT and stay in the motel with him.
You wanna lose your family and end up alone as a miserable drunk living out a motel like you homeboy GO ON AHEAD
He’s friend obviously doesn’t want to be sad alone. Some people are so bad they will ruin another person’s home just so everyone can be sad like them.
You ain’t overreacting… Your husband needs to set his priorities before he becomes like his friend or worst. Sot him down and then make him start helping with raising his daughter. You both need to be active in her life otherwise she would grow up looking up to only you. He can’t be present and be absent in raising her. Besides, you need to rest so a break once in a while shouldn’t hurt his back to take over and let you meet with your friends or take you out. If he enjoys his free time, he should know you’re also entitle to enjoy yours too
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If he wants to act like he is single then set him loose to be single. The last thing anyone needs from a partner is this kind of behaviour.
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Sounds like you are raising more than just your daughter.
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Next time he wants to go visit his friend invite yourself and your baby.
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Prob time to have him pick between counseling or a divorce lawyer. I’d also ask him why he wants to be friends and hang out with an active alcoholic who abused his family to the point that he had to leave. Everyone who knows what’s happened in that situation is going to side eye your husband hanging with him.
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Maybe I’m crazy cause I’d just tell him to go
Go stay with your alcoholic buddy who has nothing, we’ll be good over here! 
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You are stuck with a bratty little boy, better get out now
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This is definitely DRUGS. Been there, done that. I’m in Recovery. “For The Grace of God, go I”. He showed you who he is, believe it. If he is early in, you have a chance to ask and if the window of shame is open, he may ask for help. Only he can recover and get out. Prayers for you and your family 
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That was a probable plan all along
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it’s either drugs or he’s cheating, you need to find out which one it is real quick for the sake of your daughter
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Wow. 
you got right to feel that way
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I wouldn’t be bothered about the friend’s behavior or the part about him offering you husband a place to crash
That’s literally what friends are supposed to do for each other
I would talk with your husband to see what he’s lying about and why
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Absolutely not. You are right to be concerned!
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His family should be #1. You are not wrong!
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You have every right to be concerned, sounds like he’s hiding something either cheating or using drugs….I’d demand an honest answer or tell him to go stay with his buddy in the hotel and leave u and ur daughter alone!
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Misery loves company and this guy has lured your husband into a new trap of so called happiness!
The guy lost his wife and now you may lose your husband to this guy’s lifestyle!
You don’t have to put up with his bad behavior!
Speaking from experience, I say you don’t need him in your life anymore, especially with a child! I have four kids!
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Tell him to come home and stop acting like a jerk or the next time he sees you is in court.
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Your husband is full of it
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Start making notes on his behavior: dates, times, etc. Get bank account and credit card statements to see where his money is going and have evidence of assets for divorce so he can’t take off with all the money.
Contact a women’s shelter/center/hotline and get advice on what steps to take, lawyer referrals, etc. See what resources are available to you if you divorce. Figure out ways you can support yourself and start networking with moms and others to develop a crew of supportive friends and babysitters so you can have “me time”, and contacts to help you get a good job.
Ask hubs directly what the attraction is with his friend: booze, drugs, porn, he’s gay or bi, it’s cover for another woman (or several), though he will probably try to gaslight you.
See if he’ll go to marriage counseling with you. If not, I’d plan your exit. I can only imagine this ending badly for you and your child unless he wants to change. Also get tested for STDs.
I’m sorry. Sending strength, courage and good vibesxxu
Tell him either his family or friend hes obviously a bad influence in your husband’s life
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Your husband needs to spend time with FAMILY, if hid friend needs help then he really needs professional help not someone to drag down with him… been there, tell the friend you have boundaries and have a list of help for his “friend”. Or get out because he needs to be home or you should have been okay with his friend at the house so you know where your husband is.
I would smell a big, fat rat.
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You are not in the wrong. I would feel and react the same way. Everyone is quick to assume that he’s cheating or on drugs…and they might be right. But even if they aren’t…your husband is still lying about something. I would just straight up tell him to be completely honest or go somewhere else.
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Nope. You follow your gut
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He’s probably getting drunk or doing drugs with his friend. Or they’re going to strip clubs or bars. Or maybe they’re doing gay stuff. Who knows? In any case no you are not wrong to be suspicious. No way to know what’s really going on unless you confront him about it.
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Men got eachother someone’s up to no good
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Run!!! This will continue as long as you stay with him.
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Pay them alittle visit when he’s hanging out at the motel…but he’s definitely hiding something. You need to find out what.
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The mate is causing your husband to doubt his own marriage, he has freedom to do what he wants and has no one to ask him to do anything. Always be careful it happens alot when they try to support a mate through a break up
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I would call his bluff and say ‘go on then, go stay with your mate but don’t come back when you miss your family that you don’t like spending time with’ 
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My husband said “he’s up to no good, he’s obviously a bad liar, and his friend is a liar, get rid of his ass.”
If he’s getting upset & trying so hard to prove that he’s not lying, in my experience, he absolutely is hiding something. Let him go & live in the hotel with his mate.
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He and his Friend has a addiction. It starts with one and boom 
it is everything. Don’t save your husband. Let him f#$k up . Because no loyal and loving woman and mama like you deserves to be treated like a doormat
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I would go to the motel, bust himand leave all his crap on the lawn. You deserve better
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Lying is my biggest peeve. I get more upset when I catch ya in a lie than whatever i caught ya were lying about.
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Pack his bag call a divorce Attorney!!
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Have a talk with your husband and point out to him his behavior and tell him how you feel and you won’t live there with him like that
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Follow him with a friend. See where they go. Take your child with you. Walk right in and set the child near him and tell him it’s his turn to babysit
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Oh!! He thinks he’s single ! Ha! Ha! The games hv just begun!
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Friend obviously was covering for him and didn’t want to. Said the easiest solution cause he wants a drinking buddy or a wing man lol.
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There’s no alcolic friend with marital problems other then your husband. His troubled friend his actually his alibi…
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First of all, there’s a woman involved…ain’t no two grown men hanging out at the gd motel together daily for hours and there’s tail at home:smirk:
let’s stop with the nieve-ness
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Your marriage is over.
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Yea I wouldn’t be putting up with that
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I wouldn’t put up with that sounds like he’s hiding something
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be upset over my husbands lies? Am I overeacting?
stop keeping bum men around. if he hardly helps you take care of your child, even when he’s home, and he’s disrespecting you this way: lying, staying out longer than expected constantly, etc. then leave. pack your stuff and go. you can get a job that’ll help you pay for your daughter and you probably didn’t sign a prenup so half of the things he owns will go to you as well in divorce. stop allowing these men to show your daughters that it’s okay to be treated that way. it’s not. and no one should put up with it. start saving and planning now. when you’ve got everything you need, hit him with the divorce papers.
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He is cheating and his friend is covering for him. I’m not saying it will be easy but you need to leave. I went through something similar to this for so much longer than I should have and everyday I wish I had just left. It went on for years, and he messed with my mind so badly that I still am recovering from the years of mental and physical abuse he left me with. I stayed because I thought it would get better, that he would get better if I just loves him enough. I was wrong. It never got better. I have been divorced for 4 years and it was rough but its absolutely nothing compared to being with a man like that. Don’t spend years making the mistake I did: leave now for yourself and more importantly for your child.
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No, not rong at all what does your tummy tell you he’s doing does your heart cry when he actually couldn’t look you in the eyes an say we were at so -n - house were shooting the crap an once again I’m drunk or start doing little bitty things that only you know you know about be super careful an catch I’m take a picture an show him where he’s been going an take your little girl an everything an tell him he can have her yes I said her an I get the feeling you do to my first husband was so good to me when we were dating then we moved in together an then 6 months after I got married to him we lived nearly on starvation an wouldn’t you know it, yep I was FREEKING pregnant boy O boy I cried he then accused me if cheering on him an wouldn’t let me see my mom an brother’s then one day he came in all bosty an said in a loud voice ME AN LORIE CAN GO F… ANY TIME WE WANT: then he said that I was nothing but a f .king Fat C…t here I am big ole belly with his baby an I have to go ever where with him I can’t drive a 4 on the floor so he made sure of it that he kept us in that kind of car he turns around slams the door an he’s going to be with her, a woman knows these things Now I’ve forgave him for so much of the bad stuff but before I left I told him I said karma will come back and get you an it got him 4 times he has 2 boys that doesn’t want anything to do with him, He’s got Bone cancer an last but not least he had a bad stroke, he has grandma secures those are terrifying to see but an he had acleph palate when he was born an they rillies the hospital fixed his palit with a little rib an he was supposed to ware a retainer for life well he didn’t an he nearly chocked to death cause the top pallet fell down an was chocking him most of this happened after the much needed devorce
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Drugs or women or drugs and women.
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Something definitely doesn’t sound right. I would be angry too. The is being suspicious, plus he is being selfish by staying out for hours all the time instead of coming home and being a part of your family. I’m sure your daughter would love to spend some time with her dad.
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Way too many women here so quick to scream divorce like marriage isn’t a vow for better or for worse. If you’re not willing to work through the hard times then why get married in the first place? His behavior is definitely unacceptable and needs to be checked but there are other solutions. Demand counseling, make him sleep on the couch, stay at a family members house for a few days and let him feel what it’s like to not see his daughter or have you at home. He might realize what he’s doing is wrong and change.
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Never go against ur gut instinct. He will continue the fuckery as long as you let him💯
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I’m sorry you’re going though this. That’s inappropriate. He should be inviting that friend to your home for dinners or time together to try to support him in getting back on his feet, not going into his current dysfunctional (can’t think of a better word) world. I’m sorry that you’re expected to be okay with this, I’m sorry that your husband has someone who is encouraging him to do things like walk away from a conversation with you and come to his motel room. Misery loves company. I would hope that in this situation I would tell my husband I’m uncomfortable with his choices and we need to come up with a better plan together because I’m worried about the path we’re headed down if this continues. Wishing you peace and love 
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Sounds like they maybe starting a relationship of their own 
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If they’re lying and being out longer then they said that means hes doing something he shouldnt be doing!! Although I’m a forgiving if it occured many times before then I would tell him to hit the road.
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Girl, make him babysit an have a day out. Clear your head and decide what’s best for you an bubba . What YOU want…
Hanging out with the friend isn’t a big deal but the fact he’s lying about it and what they are doing is a major red flag!! You have every right to be mad over a lie no matter how little it is, you just don’t lie to the person your with. I’d let him go stay with his “friend” until he can decide to be in an honest relationship and stop hiding things from you cause this is probably just the start of a down hill road for him
When a person lies they are borrowing against your trust. Eventually there is nothing left in the vault because a liar can never repay the original cost to your peace of mind.
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Wow. Him staying out late not once in a while, but every single day, and then not spending any time with you or his daughter is just completely wrong to me. As far as the phone call to his friend goes…the fact that his friend had to pause as if he didn’t know what to say, and then he hurried up and said a name so that his friend could go along with it, that’s definitely a big red flag. It kind-of sounds like maybe he’s not really hanging out with that friend, but having that friend cover for him because maybe he’s somewhere else or with someone else.
I have a line from a song that works : if I’m lonely , I might as well be alone.
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Do what you think is best for you or right give him a sweet gentle hug an see how it feels smell him you will definitely know 2 red flags
You are so sweet. I love you . You are one of my very few long time friends. You stay safe too. God bless you Janet 
Exactly what kind of “help” do you need from him?
Sex life satisfying enough for both of you? Don’t misunderstand me on this one.
He obviously currently prefers his friends company to being home, why? Ask him.
Offer to have his friend over for dinner once a week, for now, and see how that suggestion works out?
Hire a sitter, plan a get away for a day or night…
Next: Marriage Counseling.
Ask yourself why is he preferring to be with someone else than at home?? I think counselling is in order.
Could he be on the down low
I mean, no offense but why even keep him. You can do bad by yourself.
report his motel room for suspicious activities
Put a tracker on his phone, your not wrong , been there done that , try to talk to him, or better yet find yourself some friends to go out with too js
Good olé case of Misery loves Company!! Your husband needs to grow up!!
My response would be go ahead and go to the motel 
enjoy.
Invite him over for dinner! Be real nice to him!
Ma’am your husband is friends with an abuser 
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Sounds like a liar to me.A big one.He’s probably been seeing a woman and is using his friend for an excuse.I’m sure his friend is living out of a motel…but that’s not where he’s been spending his time.His little lies will soon be turning into bigger lies…you’ll see.
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Have you considered throwing the entire man away?
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Let him go. Somethings not right. He will either realize his wrong and make it right or he’s a douche and you deserve better. You’ll find out either way.
My husband said, and I quote… “he’s totally up to no good and he’s obviously doing something he isn’t supposed to do. He called his friend to bullshit u, and he’s lying to u, so let him stay gone.”
It’s time to get a divorce. Liars suck
Anyone who lies- is a liar- usually can’t be trusted
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be upset over my husbands lies? Am I overeacting?
Sounds like he should ditch that friend and he knows it. Just doesnt have the sack to do it
Sounds like hes letting his friend rub off on him. I would have a setious discussion with him and explain how things have changed since hes been hanging around with this friend and mention that hes never lied to you before… he needs to see where his priorities should be. Maybe you also need some time alone, leave the child with dad and go for a half hour walk alone.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I be upset over my husbands lies? Am I overeacting?
If your Husband is relating to this man. He obviously isn’t happy. It’s not not rocket science.
If the husband prefers the the company of somebody that has hit rock bottom. As opposed to you. Then do you think maybe you may be a very large part of the problem?
Look inward before you cast the dagger. Then if you still feel as though you’ve been wronged, then be the bigger person and leave. Good luck.
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Many years ago, my then-husband told me a female coworker had attempted suicide. He said that several coworkers, including him, had set up a support group for her. They were each to be available one day a week for phone calls, meet ups, etc., It sounded sketchy to me, especially since they worked in a manufacturing facility and had no counseling credentials. Bottom line: no suicide attempt, no support group, an affair with a desperate woman who wanted a baby, and a divorce. She became his 3rd wife and they never had any children. I’m a happy Grandma who raised my son on my own. Your situation sounds like an affair to me. If he’s not willing to end his “friendship” with this “guy”, your marriage is probably over.
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Yeah he was with the friend, visiting strip clubs, chatting to girls in bars, spending money on them…
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First red flag is him even being friends with a ‘man’ if thats what you call it, who put his hands on a woman. Absolutely not and any real man would never be ok with that in any way shape or form. Second you need to talk to him and let him know that regardless of what friends he has, he also now created a family, you carried and gave birth to his child, you 2 should come first and if you say no not tonight he needs to tell his friends sorry man not tonight or today or whatever, im not saying abuse that and keep him home all the time but he should have way more respect for you and his kid.
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Definitely cheating…physically or emotionally or both.
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At the motel with hookers
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You and your family comes first. Once his friendship with someone causes problems at home it is time to end the friendship. Also could all be a front for something else.
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It sounds like that movie where the two guys went camping. Some mountain
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These days everyone and everything is sus and people love to over react… Most of the time it actually hurts more than it helps asking for opinions in our current society sadly especially on social media…
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His priorities are not where they need to be. He needs to set boundaries with his friend. Maybe help his friend get a counselor to help fill his friends gap.
Remember what you have control over and what you don’t. You have control over your response not his decisions. Stand your ground and remember what you want to give back to the world.
Don’t waste your energy with drama and begging. Incase you need to get a job to take care of yourself, you will need the energy for that.
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Your husband should have a clear boundary set for his time with his coworker. The coworker shouldn’t be that involved either.
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Sounds immature and sounds like y’all aren’t the best at communicating either. The “friend” shouldn’t be involved in yalls argument or conversation about what’s going on within your marriage. He’s wrong for calling up the friend during the ordeal, you’re wrong for entertaining it. You both need to grow up for your child and handle your business like two married damn adults. This sounds really toxic and sounds like it’s headed in a bad direction. Try counseling before this gets too out of hand.l if actually want to salvage it.
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Mmmm that sounds very suss…I hope he is actually with the guy and not getting him to cover for him whilst with someone else
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Your husband needs to find a middle ground between being loyal with a guy friend and you who is holding everything down on the home-front.
Your married yet he is acting like his time is more valuable than yours is. Start laying down some boundaries. Your husband needs to take your child for awhile so you can actually be more than a mom and give you a breather.
Also, if he continues to lie and not be there I would start focusing on your child and you. Go do the things you want to and not have your life revolve around someone who does not see what he is doing as disrespectful etc.
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Nope nope nope. Absolutely unacceptable and he would be living with his friend at the motel if he were my husband. I’d be getting me a job filing for a divorce and getting child support. In that order. Let him party that’s on him. You’ve got a daughter to raise. Shes gonna grow up thinking all dad does is sleep here and find that as acceptable.
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