Should I be upset over my husbands lies? Am I overeacting?

Sounds like hos friend is constantly talking about how marriage and woman are horrible and being single doing whatever you want is better. Your husband probably still getting used to fatherhood and life not being all about him is thinking ya you got it better not having to answer to anyone.

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He’s cheating. It started out as him hanging with his buddy. Now hubby found a playmate. Give him an ultimatum: Either he comes home straight from work with NO stops…Or he’s out.

If he argues with you and storms off…there’s your answer.

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My guess is he has known you are not happy with the situation. His extending the amount of time with this friend and now hiding something is a red light. It doesn’t mean he cheated but probably does mean trouble. Definitely deceitful. I don’t think that this is a leave him situation. But…it is definitely a time to get clarification. You definitely have a reason to question his behavior. I would sit at the table and have that hard talk. Make him fess up. Have him right then show you his phone history. Probably credit charges too.
He absolutely should put you and his child first. Never good when your guy starts going out with separated/divorced friend. Support is one thing but this is wrong.

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Before you got into the argument did you mention that it was bothering you before it got out of hand as you put it? Or did just barely mention it and turning it into an argument? You should have communicated from the beginning that is was a concern. For sure both of you need to sit down like adults and talk about it, don’t assume the worst right away. If there is no trust, there is no relationship. Perhaps look into taking a getaway with each to reconnect. It seems like that root of the problem is that you feel neglected and tired of being home all day which is natural. Both of you need some alone time together, no kids, no friends just both of you reconnected to remind yourselves why you both got married and built a family.

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It seems the goal of these guys like the “friend” who trash their lives and relationships and so want there buddy who feel sorry for them to do the same.

“OK hubby, you want to live in a hotel with your drunk friend… go for it! But it will. Cost you!”

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I think you should have a frank conversation with your husband about his sexuality. It sounds like this goes further than just hanging out after work and if you love him then you should encourage him to be truthful with himself and also you. It sounds like he is having an affair with his friend but might be too embarrassed to admit to you that he is either gay or bisexual. It must be very hard for him to live a double life and he probably doesn’t know how to tell you. It doesn’t excuse his lies but he might not know where to start.

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Your not overreacting and I’m sorry to say he most likely isn’t going out with the friend speaking from experience. He’s also claiming to be supporting an abusive man who done god knows what to his wife so whatever is really going on his priorities are wrong you and your daughter don’t deserve to be put second best to anyone xxx

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Too much time is being spent with someone outside of the marriage…it’s not good…if you had done that he may have a real problem… because now he’s left to look after the baby…

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You should get a job put your baby in daycare have your own money and reconnect with your friends and ask him to do some work around the house and take care of his daughter sometimes or get a sitter and go out with your friends what’s good for him is good for you

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Oh honey, come on. Either your husband is an alcoholic or screwing around. Don’t wait. Figure out your finances and get on it. You need to secure your life for yourself and your child. WHY would you want this man in your life at all? Your man is risking everything and not being a responsible, honest, honorable, trustworthy partner, husband, father, employee. He has shown you exactly who he is. It isn’t your job to change him or fix him.

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That guy is clapping your husbands cheeks

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Something defo wrong there show him the door he’ll come back with his tail between his legs when he realises what side his bread is buttered on that way ur showing him ur not willing to put up with his bs otherwise it will continue and get worse

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Sounds to me like he might be cheating on you. No you’re not overreacting!!

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He’s cheating with his friend :smiling_face_with_tear:

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Time to see a marriage counselor preferably a Christian one. If he isnt willing go your self. He has some decisions to make.

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Go get a job, starting saving money and be prepared to make your own plans. It’s not healthy for you to put everyone else’s needs ahead of your own. Trust your instincts too. He’s not being truthful. It seems he is hiding something from you. Make plans right now so you can support yourself while you still have a roof over your head. if you decide to leave him or he decides to leave you, it might be better to be in a financial position of strength than have nothing at all.

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Go with ur gut sounds dodge to me like in a motel doing drugs n women. Or each other.
talk to him if u can’t believe him u don’t trust him if u don’t trust him then get a divorce n support for u n ur daughter take care of u the rest will fall into place u need someone to talk to pm me either way Goodluck been a solo mum ain’t easy.

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Not wrong, my husband wants to spend his every free second with me. And he definitely wouldn’t leave me all day with kids and not help once he’s home. Sounds like regardless of what he’s actually doing with that guy, you deserve better.

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No u right… just because you stay at home doesn’t mean he doesn’t need to spent time with you and his daughter and help out to give you a break

Not wrong at all! When you hang out with dogs, you’re going to catch fleas and you’re husband has been hanging out with a dog for far too long! So now he’s enjoying the drinking and everything else he’s doing with his friend! Tell him he needs to decide if he wants to be married and a dad or single and up to no good with a low life abuser that chose to give his family up ! If he wants to be married , no more putting the friend first! If he wants to be single , you want a divorce so you can move on with your life! Maybe he needs to be scared , but let him know you’re serious and if your life doesn’t go back to where you can trust him again, you’re done and will file! No matter what they’re up to , it can’t be good as far as you and your child are concerned!

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Almost sounds like he’s on the down low with this guy!

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Well, ya need to make yourself some “ girl time” while he watches the child. You need a life outside of caring for your family and grocery shopping. As for the hubby, unfortunately the hole he’s digging himself into is going to become too deep for him to crawl out of. Be prepared.

I think you should be asking yourself WTF and listen to your own instincts

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Sounds like your husband’s being sent down the same slope that lead his friend to the motel in the first place.

My excited had all sorts of excuses for where he was at off and on for 26 years till he finally ran off with a friend of mine ,( ours) from church ( he started going to church a few years prior but never believed in Jesus…so in my opinion your husband is lying to you and from my personal experience he will continue …I know it’s heartbreaking to leave but believe me it will continue and get worse

Sounds from what you are saying you probably are not living near friends or family if you have some. Hate to say this the writing is on the wall though I am sure you do not see it. i would tell him/ask him to break up with his friend that he is spending so much time with, his buddy could lead him down the same path he went down and you and your child do not want to go there or be there.

Maybe he’s an English teacher and can help with your run on sentences

Wow I used to be married to a man like that. Kick him to the kerb. Change the locks and don’t let him back in

Have you ever met said friend ?
Looks to me like he is dissing and using said friend to cover up an affair .

That’s why his friend is at the motel and if he can’t see that then your husband is stuck in a child state of mind alone with his ???

I would be mad and feel like there was something else going on to

To me, doesn’t matter what he is doing with this friend, he is no longer including you in his life and doing whatever he wants. And why wouldnt he, there is no consequence if he continues as you are letting him do what he wants and asking strangers what we think. You know what you need to do and only you can do it. Make a plan and start on it. Lots of jobs out there, may not be great but its a start. Get your life back, reconnect with friends abd have a life. Please start by getting a doctor visit

Your going to have to actually talk to him.
ask him what’s going on and if everything is okay with him.
Tell him you miss him.
Tell him that it hurts not knowing.
Ask him what he wants the outcome to be and that if he thinks what his doing will lead to the outcome he wants.
Tell him that lies hurt and you would rather know.

It may not be what it looks like his friend maybe suicidal.

He’s having an affair honey. I’m sorry. Either with the guy, or some chick. Or, whatever he is doing. He is lying to you.

Shady!!! And I would let it go (to him) and then be camped out hidden at that hotel the next work day and see for myself what’s going on.

Let him go stay with the friend at the motel but make him pay child support & alimony

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He’s not meeting up with his friend. He’s meeting up with another woman and the friend is his alibi

I would be making a surprise visit to this motel. I would also track down the ex wife and ask what really happened

Go with your intuition and follow your gut … it always tells you the truth !!! Red flags everywhere… I’ve been down this road n it sucks !!! You had better put an end to this kind of behavior of his right now or it will only get worse !!! He has lied to you …. You know it and he does too!!!It looks like he’s turning into his friend slowly but surly the molding is happening ….look at your statements…. Staying after work,making excuses to hang out with an abusive drunk, becomes a regular thing, went from one hr to many hrs, arguments are starting because of trust issues,caught the lie, now buddy wants YOUR husband … the father of your child… to move in with him at a hotel ???… my question is why hasn’t your husband brought this poor man (friend)co-worker to your home for a proper meet n greet… I call your husbands BS !!! You let him get away with this he will walk on you like an old rug for as long as you allow him to and your looking at a lot of misery in the years to come… Tell him he’s got a choice …going out with his drunken loser friend that no longer has a home/wife/relationship or you n the baby cause you’re not putting up with the BS the 2 of them are dishing out … if he wants to continue a friendship with the loser it will be there n not at a bar !!! At least you’ll know where your husband is n not driving home drunk !!!’

definitely …red flags…stay away as soon as you can

Are these stories for real, is anyone this naive?

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Why would you ask for information on what to do on Facebook and put your business out there that’s the stupidest thing ever. It’s probably messing around on you

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Nope you are right on. Dont stand for it. Give an inch he will take a mile. Good for you

He’s putting this friend above your feelings by lying to you. It’s not your fault he’s going through a midlife crisis or something

Whatever it is, it’s no good

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When people get angry they are usually hiding something.

Try to find a way to sit down and teally discuss the issue at a time a bit later

This “friend” needs to GO, point blank, PERIOD. Your husband lying to you is NOT okay, EVER. It sounds like this “friend” lost his own family for a reason. Of course he’s going to do and tell your husband to do things that are very unhealthy to your marriage. A lot of bad stuff goes on at hotels, to put it very mildly. I’m not saying that’s the case here, but I would not be tolerating this at all. When behavior from an outsider is negatively affecting your marriage and you’re lying to your spouse because of it, it needs to end.

Unacceptable just curious did he leave and stay at motel with friend?

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Keep listening to your gut. Sounds like you did the right thing to me. Prayers for you and your daughter.

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“The Godfather,” “Field of Dreams,” “7 Pounds,” “The Green Book.” I realize of course more than one are listed. There are others!

Theyre probably more than friends. Lol

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Change the locks. They can go fuck each other instead of their wives tonight

Sounds like the husband is having an affair with his mate.

He’s taking the piss. He wants to drink and go out without mentioning it. His friend could be an alcoholic, probably is and now he’s got your hubby to pal out with. Put your foot down.

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Where do you people get this crap??!! How do I get rid of it???

The friend sounds like he might be jealous of you and your husband’s relationship, marriage, and family life. Misery loves company! he knows exactly what he is doing! He is trying to destroy your marriage so that he’s not alone in his misery. And your husband is a fool for falling into his trap and letting this lowlife come between his family. Find a baby sitter or even better let him take care of his daughter…Then get dolled up and hang out with the girls for a night or two. I bet he’ll come running back to you.

The friend wants your husband to be alone and without a wife like him. Birds of a feather flocks together.

Tell him you’re going to take the baby and stay with family. Then do it

Pretty sure you knew the answer before you posted this, honestly. I’m sorry. I hope you find out the truth.

You know what’s going on. Always trust your instincts.

Obviously no respect for you and more for his mate

Hell no, sounds like he deserves to live in the motel with his lying cheating buddy.

I think they are together, I mean "together":sweat_smile:
Ask your man’s preference too😅

He’s cheating. His friend is covering him.
It won’t get better.
Move on.

Pack his bags and send him to the motel with his friend

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Girl, let him go to the motel with his shitty friend.

Trust your gut. Something is not right.

Your husbands friend might be his new affair :woman_shrugging:t6:

Nope kick him out he will get sick of that motel and not seeing his family

I would feel the same as you

Let him go, you’ve dodged a bullet, he’s up to no good and he’s lying to you…

Let him go, they deserve each other.

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Once they start lying, you can never believe anything they say. Dump him, he’s not worth your time.

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Maybe follow him. Or look at his phone messages.

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He’s fooling around… you’ll see…:worried:

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Also you must keep up your own friendships!

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He get the boot fast

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Put the child in the car and follow him a few times after work

Tell him he is going to end up like his friend …

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You’ve screwed yourself when u decided to devote allll your life to home. Now that you’re granted he is living his life regardless of your needs. That’s what happens when you give it all most of the time I’m afraid.

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Leave he’s either smoking crack or fucking the dude

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You husband’s gay that’s his new lover , sorry

The friend to your husband is a Gay

Yes your gut is right

No your intuition is solid.

I’ve been through this before. Being at home with you is like bing interrogated for a murder. Your relationship is already over doesn’t matter what he says or does at this point he will essentially always be under your thumb begging for your mercy. If I was him I would lawyer up before you repeat your allegations enough to make them gospel

It could be friend helping friend. It may be nothing. It may also be that he has changed sexes.

Husband is up to something very fishy. Better find out what is is before to late

Sounds like a cheater.

Sit him down and Tell him that My wife doesn’t let me know when she catches me in a lie. She just puts a cap full of antifreeze in my Coke every time….see if he stops :flushed:

Your husband is allowed to choose his own friends and have times with them… Did you catch him in a lie, it’s suspicious but what proof do you have that he lied, you saying your not buying it is not proof, perhaps it is the truth… Do you trust your husband? Are you controlling what he does and who he sees because that can be problematic… Maybe use the time he is with his friend to do things you want to do? I just have not read proof you caught him in a lie and why are you questioning him? Perhaps your feelings towards his friend clouds your judgement and effects your thoughts about this issue… Let your husband have his friend, what is your issue with this, what do you think is going to happen or is happening and what does your husband say is happening??? Controlling who your partner sees is a form of domestic abuse… Perhaps talk with your husband about balance and boundaries… Remember it’s your husband’s friend not yours, does this friend bring enjoyment to your husband? If you stop this friendship it could cause resentment?? What are you afraid of? I have so many questions… Perhaps you have more information on what they are doing wrong?

An ex of mine claimed he was helping an alcoholic friend with rides from work. Turns out he was cheating

Plain and simple it’s another lie. You can Keep On Believing them or make some changes. But changes aren’t easy

A liar or a Cheater don’t but up with either most of the time they are both.

Tell him to drop this loser or drop your marriage, plain & simple…His wife & family come first, no excuses and dont put up with any bs because hes lying & sneaking around…bad part about it is hes now got a taste for something else and may not want to give it up…so protect yourself physically.

Mmm, de seguro ahora el es su nueva pareja

Find a new man and move him in :rofl:

All these women commenting are going to have you ending up single

nope- consult a lwayer ~