QUESTION:
"So I recently just started babysitting a 1-year-old…the mom just moved here and I’m not sure where the dad is. I noticed when I was watching him he was wheezing the first day…I told his mom that she should take him to the doctor and that if she couldn’t then I could help out and take him myself. She said that she smokes around him in the car, house, etc. She said she has “stopped” but when I took him to the car I smelt the smoke and I also smelled marijuana and also seen a pipe. She said she doesn’t know what she’s doing and I really don’t care what she does by herself but this has affected her child possibly in a long-term way.
The baby comes here smelly, has barely any clothes, his car seat is out of date like a few years (it’s not safe). I’m not judging her by any means and at this point, I feel like I’m buying him things already for when he comes to my house so that way he can feel clean, safe, and be a happy baby when he’s here. I watched the baby again today and the breathing is worse and I have no idea what to do for him or if I’m even allowed to take him to the doctor myself. I and my child has asthma so I know what it feels like to not be able to breathe and he’s doing this every day with no help because his mom won’t take him to the doctor.
- Should I try to get info from her to take him myself? 2. Should I call DCS and get someone involved because she’s clearly spending money for her addictions and not on her baby? 3. Should I just stop watching him and let him suffer? He’s helpless and I want to do whatever I can for this baby while I can…or if I can."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Speaking as someone who is a mandated reporter for my state. You can go online and look up your stated guideline for abuse and neglect and make the decision based off that information."
"Take him to the emergency room, they'll get him help for his breathing and also do a report themselves to involve CPS."
"I have been through this with my stepchild. Mother's home has active inside smokers in the home and someone always intoxicated watching him. We have done wellness checks, etc. But smoking cigs inside a home isn’t illegal here. Check your state's laws on what you are claiming is happening. Unfortunately, cps won’t get you very far with this. Tell her you are worried for him and need to take him to the ER. He could have allergies being that the breathing like that has been going on for days like that. I am a nurse and I work for the state as a DFCS caseworker."
"Take him to the ER right away. Get him medical help, from there the doctors will call CPS if they need to."
"I personally would ask her if I could have info to take him to the doctor. Explain the situation to the doctor and they will do something about it."
"Untreated asthma can kill you if he has an attack. If she’s doing all that. She is not doing right by that boy. So yes call. Take him to the ER so he can get an inhaler. They are also mandated reporters, I believe. You are the only hope he has right now."
"If his health is a cause for concern and hasn’t gotten better i would deff make an anonymous report to cps. You not doing anything is making you a bad person too."
"Honestly I would make the call as a seasoned mom of three and a seasoned babysitter this is a hard call. But you have to make it. It’s for the baby’s health."
"The baby doesn’t have a voice. If you notice these things YOU NEED TO BE HIS VOICE."
"My daycare will report stuff while the child is in their care so I would at least take him to the ER and explain the situation."
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