You are not being unreasonable. I am in the same exact position and I have the same view. His 2 kids, my 2 kids, and our 1 together live with us full time. I of course cook, clean, etc for all of them equally but I used to do EVERYTHING for all of them. I finally had to take a step back so he would step up. If your child needs new shoes…take him shopping. If you daughter needs stuff for a school project…take her to the craft store. I work more hours a week than him and I was wore the fuck out trying to keep up with it all. I love his kids and I will always be there for them, but ultimately they do have 2 parents in their lives do everything should not fall on my shoulders.
That’s complete bull shit. You chose to be with someone who had kids BEFORE you… no your not THE mom but you are A mom. You walked into this knowing what came with him. If you didnt have it in you to treat them fairly and equally than you should never have gone into the relationship. While I agree the dad should be more involved… it doesnt mean he should be the ONLY one for his two kids… he should be equal with all 3. You sound insanely selfish and honestly a pretty shitty human being
I’m doing it. My kids are 18 and 13. Boyfriends kid is 9. Her mom doesnt do shit and the kid primarily lives with us. I do as much for her as I do for my kids. Not my fault her mom sucks, but I know when she looks back, I did everything I could for her.
Something they have an ain’t shit mom. I’ve seen it first hand. Talk to your husband and if it’s needed go back to court.
Shartah Wright
Hit it right on!! Exactly what I wanted to say… So thanks for beating me to it!
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Honestly sounds like he’s trying to take them from her and replace her with you in their lives. Unless she’s putting them in harm’s way he needs to stop. Nobody is going to make it to every event because live happens. If you do you’re fucking lucky. I can’t go to alot of my kids events because of my health. Even when I can’t go their step dad will attempt to but my health issues are severe. So sometimes we can’t go. It happens. As long as you’re there for them when needed and love them the same as you do for your blood one you’re good.
Whitney Hunstock Rogers 
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The question should be do you also feel he is not doing enough for your “shared” child? Because the problem might be not so much that you feel he expects you to do more of the work for your bonus children but in general. Only you accept it because the youngest is your biological child.