I would call the school an ask the teacher what happened because we have to remember as parents our kids aren’t always fully honest with us. So it may have happened similar to that but not exactly that way
Definitely call and talk to that music teacher, then go up from there-principal, school superintendent and even the school board.
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I teach preschool. 4&5 year olds. We have a bathroom in our classroom obviously for convenience purposes. My kids ask me all the time and it honestly drives me nuts. I tell them, you don’t have to ask me to use the bathroom, just tell me that’s what you’re doing so I don’t wonder where you’ve gone. These are human beings. Would I require they ask permission before puking on the floor? It’s a bodily function that’s going to occur one way or another and I would never demean my kids by even making them ask as if there was even a 1% chance I would say no, I’m not gonna let you use the bathroom. Some people shouldn’t be teaching our kids.
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I hate teachers like this! I used to have this a lot in high school & I use to hear “you should’ve gone on lunch break” and it can actually cause a lot of stress on your body and it’s natural processes, you don’t get to choose when you need to go & when you have to hold it in it can lead to problems down the track. Now thinking about it, it probably caused me to act out more with those teachers to the point of being kicked out of their classes for saying “should I just piss on the floor then” so might be best if you step in and say something now before it gets to that point
Mmh depends on where and the full situation. Sometimes as an instructor I would say like me finish this last little bit and you can go, depending on the facility they don’t like the kids roaming the hall so I take the time to make them go together as a group. I would definitely talk to them because when you got to go you got to go
I would absolutely call the school! I’ve had this problem with my son this year as well! I told him to get up and walk out if he really has to go! His teacher made him pee on himself! He was so upset when he got home. I jumped all over that man. He claimed they had went to the bathroom an hour before that not every child can use the bathroom on the teachers schedule. They can not discipline a child for having to use the bathroom! I also had this problem in school with one teacher and I got up and walked out! I wasn’t going to pee myself because she said no. I did get a “talking to” I guess but I also told her I’d pee in her lap next time! Probably shouldn’t have said that but that was the one and only time I was told no! After that I had it set in my head if I had to pee I was gonna get up and go regardless of what my teacher said. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful or anything I’m just not gonna pee on myself when there’s a bathroom down the hall!
I work at the school. If we say no it’s bc either the entire class wants to go after and it starts a disruptive pattern, or bc the kid asks all the time and just wants to do what they want. I promise you kids are different from what you think. And to just walk out is disrespectful. You’re teaching him that is ok. When you work at a job you can’t just go out and have a break whenever you want… especially when breaks are plentiful to begin with.
I would absolutely contact the school. Given he went against the teacher so they can punish him BUT I’ve told my son (7) that if he has to go and is told no he is to go anyway. He may get in trouble at school but he will not get in trouble for it at home.
If he has been a handful, I can understand why the teacher did that. At 13 they should be past the handful stage.
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When my eldest daughter was in primary school she had to poop and was not allowed and went as she was about to poop herself . Going to the bathroom is natural and I’d def say something . We know our kids faults and all. If my child said she was busting she was busting . How would they like to pee or crap there pants in front of everyone and not only that some kids have health issues in that dept and may not feel comfortable with the teacher knowing all their business .
I’d definitely call and set up a meeting face to face with said teacher. Explain how you feel and listen to what she has to say in case it wasn’t how he states (although I don’t think he was lying). Acknowledge that there may have been issues in the past between her and your son and that’s where it needs to stay, the past. There will be no detention served unless they want to see me in it with him. Then talk to me about a disturbance because you’re about to see one. I’d let them know that if my child isn’t allowed to go to the bathroom as needed then I’d bring my happy ass there every 2 hours to make sure he has the opportunity while being and ass doing so. I don’t play with my child AT ALL.
absolutely on all adccouts
This is the thing I don’t understand. As adults if we are at work, we don’t ask our boss or coworkers (unless in certain situations if you need a coworker to keep an eye on something) to go to the bathroom, we just go. Kids and teenagers should be allowed to go (within reason) to the bathroom if they request to go. What if they had an upset belly from lunch? If a girl is on her period etc? It’s not good for ANYONE to hold their bowel or bladder. I used to get frequent UTI’s as a child from holding my bladder. My dr had to write a note saying I could go to the bathroom as necessary so teachers wouldn’t tell me no. I had a small bladder and had to go a lot. I would definitely talk to the school. As for the detention I would discuss with the school get teachers side too. If she simply refused him and he wasn’t disrespectful to the teacher before he walked out then I would discuss with the principal about him not serving the detention
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I would definitely have a conference with the teacher ! It might help another child that will wind up in the same situation ! 
🖒
Do nothing! No you can’t refuse him to serve the detention. It’s not a big deal like you are trying to make it. Let him do the recess detention and move on…
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I would have a meeting to hear both sides .kids are not always honest when it comes to their story telling
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Absolutely go up to the school.
Too much to SWALLOW! #NoComment !!
When I was in school many times a teacher would say no to someone wanting to use the bathroom if they were in the middle of explaining something. I have no idea if this is the case or not. Call and have the teacher tell you what happened.
It’s never how your kid tells you, is what I’ve come to learn. . My kid has ADHD and can’t sit still, but yet there is a couple teachers that constantly dwell on him moving around. He makes A’s & B’s. Hell these kids get 30 minutes a day (if that much) to move around. That depends on how long it takes them to eat. Teachers are never at fault! He has had a target on his back since I got into it with his first grade teacher. He’s I 6th now. Good luck!!
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My son has a gluten allergy we just found out about and he was never denied the chance to use the restroom.
Teachers or whomever calls this no bathroom policy.
Surly isn’t human. People have weak bladders and /or #2 issues.
I would call the school tomorrow for sure.
You can talk to the teacher and ask what happened. You can’t always trust what your kid tells you. I would love to believe my kid is always telling the truth… but I literally watched him fall while playing with the dog and he hurt himself… he came up to me and said, “mom. The dog bit me” 
kids lie. It happens. Ask the teacher what happened. Compare the two sides. Make a judgement from there.
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Definately call the school
I’ve told my children especially during covid and in school learning, since they were literally only able to go 2x a day and that was on a scheduled bathroom/mask/water break, that if you ever have to go and I mean really go, just go. I will deal with the repercussions with the school. I absolutely would call.
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I stopped reading at she refused to allow him to go to the bathroom! Nope!!! F that! Call the school and demand your child be allowed to go to the bathroom whenever he famn well wants to!!! No one is ever ever going to stop one of my children from going to the bathroom!!! She don’t own him and it’s his basic right!!! Tell her to not go to the bathroom all day!
Yes, you should. I had to get a Dr note from my daughter’s urologist in elementary school for her to be able to use the bathroom as needed. She did have some urinary issues but there was 1 teacher that was giving her a hard time. I know, it’s not the same situation. I’d still be trying to find out why this happened issues or not. This is not acceptable at all.
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I’d definitely contact the school and if nothing happens there is the superintendent and the school board. For things to change they have to be acknowledged.
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I would absolutely make contact with the school. This is not right. If you need to go you need to go, and that needs to be respected. I’m sure if the teacher suddenly needed to go mid class she wouldn’t just cross her legs and try and hold it for gods sake. I personally wouldn’t even direct my concerns to the teacher Involved given that your son seems to have a history with her that already puts him on the back foot with her. I’ve encountered teachers like this before with both my children. I would make an appt to see the year coordinator or someone of relevant position. And I’ve learnt from past experiences, that is there is no resolve within a week, I go straight to the principal. He/She will sort it. It is your right as a parent.
Every. Single. Day!
He is 13, growing into a young adult. Where is the teachers compassion?? It’s a human right to use a bathroom. Your son is in her care during that period, and deserves the right to pee if he needs to! Good luck Mum
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I think some grace needs to be given teachers considering the shortages and all they deal with between students and parents. And as much you think you know about our kids, unless we’re in the room we dont truly know. Having said that, I would ask for a meeting with teacher and principal. Get the teachers perspective, without anger and judgment. Go with the mindset understanding. Then ask what can we do to prevent or avoid this happening again. Not knowing the school or environment hard to truly advise. Depending on what you hear I wouldnt try to get him out of the detention but focus on what both your son and teacher can do so this doesnt happen again.
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I would talk to the principal and the teacher.
100% call the school. I’ve always told my kids, if you have to go to the bathroom, go. LET the teacher know where you’re going, but go. If they have an issue with it and they want to give detentions, they can call me over it. I’m sorry but I’m a strong believer in the saying “you get what you give”. Teachers seem to think kids owe them respect because they are teachers. Sorry, no they don’t. I’m teaching my kids to stand up for what they believe, even if it means going against the teacher. Teachers do NOT know everything. They can learn from their students as well. Yes I would be calling the school. I would tell my kid to walk out of his detention. If the teacher tried to keep my kid there, you best believe I’m showing up at the school.
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My kids have strict instructions that if their body ever has an emergency. Puke, poop, pee….whatever. They are allowed to go and I will deal with the school.
Definitely talk to the teacher first and if the story matches up I would definitely tell her she is wrong and he shouldn’t be punished for having to use the bathroom
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I absolutely would call and throw a fit.
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I would definitely call. My FIVE year old has had two accidents this week because his teacher wouldn’t let him go. He’s been potty trained for over a year but him being that young he should be able to go when he asks. But she won’t let him. I’m calling tomorrow and raising hell… they should not deny them that right!
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I would (if possible) go to the school & talk to her in person, get her side if the story. Then do a judgement call on what the next step is.
Yes, you can absolutely inform the school your child will not be doing resuss detention.
id talk to the principal and the teacher so call the school n besides they arent suppose to deny ur child going to the bathroom
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My mama always told me if I had to go and couldn’t hold it and teacher wouldn’t let me go to go anyways bc she goes when she needs too
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They don’t like the students going while they are in the middle of doing their lesson she will tell them to go before they start or after they are done because then all the kids wanna go plus the kids will miss what they are working on at that moment.If a child says it’s an emergency and they are not the type to not come back fast or they ask alot she should have just let him go.If he’s not saying it’s an emergency every time he’s there I don’t see why she didn’t…It’s more embarrassing for a kid to wet his pants than to walk out of class to the restroom.I tell my kids if it’s an honest emergency and they can’t hold it no more and get told no they know to just apologize and walk out and go.Its not healthy to hold your urine
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I 100% think you should calmly talk to his teacher. Ask her if she has ever had an emergency of that kind (of course she has). It’s not okay for her to do that to anyone.
I’d have done the same thing as your son.
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I would call. I always tell my children, go to the bathroom when you need to go. Why ANYONE should EVER have to ask to use the restroom is beyond me.
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Never let a Teacher deny someone to go to Bathroom. That can in the long run cause problems with infections or bowel’s problems. Speak with the principal
I would call 100%
My family was always prone to UTI’s (both male and females) so if we held it for to long- we automatically knew we were going to get one in the next couple days.
My mom always told me that if you truly have to go- and your teacher tells you no- to go anyways but still return to class. We wouldn’t get in trouble at home and she would always call and explain to them how inhumane it is to expect a child to hold their bladder like an adult. Or go half the day until lunch to use the restroom or etc.
I’m going to tell my son or any other kids I have in the future the same thing. ^^
You can’t plan when you have to use the restroom. Definitely not when that young. And to get disciplined FOR USING THE RESTROOM?? Yea I’d be on the phone as soon as you know there’s people in the office tomorrow
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That’s bullshit. She is definitely wrong. If she is singling out kids because she doesn’t like them for whatever nonsensical reason, she needs to not be a teacher.
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When I was in school (graduated high school 2013), teachers weren’t allowed to deny restroom breaks. You didn’t even have to ask, and if you did ask they couldn’t say no
I did this when I was in school. I was in 12th grade because a substitute teacher told me no. I’d definitely contact this school that’s ridiculous
If asked to go should been let to go . And wouldn’t have walked off to go .now if he’s in our school would have let go.if walked offwith out saying anything would been in trouble because didn’t know where went if there was an emergency . Our kids in our school go bathroom when come in to school, before lunch after lunch with teachers .and during lunch if need to
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When I was in elementary they had a bathroom in our classroom for kids that really had to go. So we never had to leave the classroom.
When you have to go, you have to go. I would contact the school and let them know that this is not okay behavior from the teacher. How you choose to handle that during the call is on you, but I personally think it’s wrong. I understand there are more difficult kids, but you can never know for sure if they have to go or not.
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I remember a teacher in (junior high) who did something like this to one of my classmates…he would not let him go until he told him, and the whole class, exactly what was going to do when he went to the restroom. He was humiliated and embarrassed. We were all mortified. I have no idea if his parents ever found out about this, or if anything else happened afterwards. But I remember it like it was yesterday, so I’m sure he does too. You need to go to bat for your son.
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No teacher should be denying any child a bathroom break.
I would be calling to speak to the teacher directly, hopefully it was a misunderstanding and it can be resolved.
I am 55 and still remember an incident in my 6th grade classroom regarding a girl who asked to go to the restroom and the teacher said no,she was crying and begging before the teacher allowed her to go. I always said if that happened to one of my children there would be hell to pay. There is not a reason in the world unless the building is on fire that a human being especially a child should not be allowed to go to the restroom, I guess that will always be in my memory.
You are a better Mother than me, I would of told him to piss on the floor next time she dont let him go 
I mean what does she expect him to do if she wont let him go???
Yes call they have no right to deny someone to go to the bathroom unless of course it’s habit forming n aren’t really going witch dosnt sound like the case here
The only way teachers are supposed to refuse is if during big test
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Never ok to punish a child for going to the bathroom when they need to. It’s the teacher’s problem if she doesn’t believe him. I’ve always told my kids if they really have to go, ask for permission first and go anyway if they are told no. Holding it can lead to UTI’s, among other things. If it were me, I’d absolutely be calling the school.
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Contact school and atleast get both sides and do whats fit for YOUR child.
I’ve always told both of mine if you got to use the restroom & someone tells you no you go anyway & tell them they need to call me. I don’t care what my kid does in class, if the teacher likes them or not. They don’t need anyone’s permission to go to the bathroom. I don’t ask anyone before I go at work? I tell someone I am going & go, that is ridiculous.
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Both my children’s school had this rule where they could only go 6 times in a MONTH!!! Not a week a MONTH. I have a 6 year old boy and a 11 year old girl. I said you mean to tell me if my 11 year old daughter gets her period she can’t use the bathroom multiple times a day??? Not using the restroom multiple times a day and lead to MANY problems!!! Not only could they ONLY go 6 times a MONTH the teachers were bribing the students to not use the restroom for homework passes!!! I called the principal (had a meeting with them) they played dumb and brushed it under the rug. I then went further and called children and youth. Because it wasn’t just my children but the whole school they called the state police. The daily item showed up to the school for an interview! Let’s just say there is no longer a bathroom rule!!! 
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I told my kids if they need to go, just go. The school can talk to me or their dad about it.
I would bring it up with the teacher. A child shouldn’t be risking an infection from holding it and being refused- also some kids are too shy to beg.
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I called the teacher when my 11th grade son was told to pinch it…she tried to justify it by saying other kids do drugs and misbehave in bathroom. When asked if my son was known for that she said no and from now on he can go…well yes he will…
Go and see the principal & this teacher as well. Get the detention cancelled. Your son is owed an apology by the music teacher
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Yes definitely contact the teacher and principal.
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I have 3 girls and I have and will always tell them if you have to go and they tell you no, get up and walk out and I’ll be on the phone calling if they get in trouble. I get where a teacher might be hesitant but not after they plea to go. I would be calling the school as well.
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I tell my kids this is one instance where you absolutely disobey if you need to go to the bathroom, because the alternative of soiling yourself isn’t gonna happen due to a teachers (I taught too, I know kids mess around in bathrooms) lack of plain common sense. When you gotta go, you go. Ask first. If denied, go. I would not make my kid serve detention and would certainly not allow it enforced by teacher either under the circumstances as you’ve described. Document and do all communication via email first to make sure you got a paper trail.
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I would definitely be in the office & request the teacher be present. If a person needs to use the restroom they should not be denied. I would ask where in the school code does it say a child should be denied using the restroom? I would inform both the principal & teacher your child is Not to be denied using the restroom under any circumstances. If the faculty has an issue they are to call you immediately & give you an explanation immediately.
Call the school. My son’s teachers tried that and I told my son if it happened again just soil yourself. The very next day the school called complaining and I asked my child in front of the principal if he asked to go and he said yes but teach wouldn’t let him. Teacher got in trouble and my son didn’t
This happened to my child but she did not get up and go in fear of getting in trouble so she did #2 on herself in front of her peers she was 7. I went up to the school and went off.
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The schools in my area keep ALL bathrooms locked due to the stupid tik tok trend. The kids literally have to beg, they do not even open them during passing. My daughter was denied the bathroom. Since she has a medical condition she is not to hold it. So I got a doctor’s note for a bathroom pass that teachers cannot decline. School wasn’t happy, but according to my daughter’s doctors they said it is child neglect/abuse. Cause she can get a bad infection.
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I had the issue in school. I had a note from my Dr to go as well. I was on medication because when I was born I was born premature and as a teen my bladder was still immature. This one lady had it out for me all the time. She LITERALLY blocked the door so I could not go and caused me to wet myself then told me it was my own fault for having to go so often (she was aware of my Dr note and my meds) she claimed I was faking (how do you fake an immature bladder AND Dr prescription meds?) Well needless to say I quit school after that. I wanted my diploma but it was too much to deal with bullies and drama from the school after. (I was 16, skipped school and had truancy looking for me at 17. Then they left me alone after that)
You should go in and talk to principal have teacher there too .I agree when you have to go you have to go and you shouldn’t be denied nor punished for it
I would make an appointment with the principal and talk directly to the principal and have the teacher there also. I would also have someone with me, not to speak but to witness what is said so there can be no mistakes about who said what. There is no reason to not let a child use the restroom if it is needed. There is not reason to embarrass him in front of his classmates either. According to what was told to you by your son I do not think he should have been penalized at all. I think the teacher has a problem.
Literally dealing with the same thing with my daughter. They have threatened after school detention twice this year because of it and I refuse to let her stay. They can suspend her for all I care. I’ve even spoken to the principal about it. My kid will not be punished for having to use the bathroom. Especially as a teenage girl who has her period and needs to check/change her pads often. My daughters school now locks the bathroom doors. So they have to ask a teacher, put a sign outside the room and wait for a monitor to come and get them and escort them to the bathroom and unlock it to allow them to go. And that’s IF the teacher says yes. It’s a disgusting, weird abuse of authority imo. I’ve told teachers and the principal they would be wasting their time to call me to reprimand my child for using the bathroom. Because if there’s anyone I’m going to have words with, it’s the teacher who wouldn’t allow her to go. So many days she’s come home running through the door almost peeing on herself because she held it for so long. Some days she doesn’t even drink anything all day to avoid this. I’ve made it clear that if she ever pees on herself or bleeds through her pants while on her pd, they are gonna hate me when they see me walk through those doors. Because it’s sick and uncalled for.
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I think I would politely ask the teacher about it. Then let her know you would be sending a change of clothes to school with him that would stay at school and he has been given permission to take care of it if he has to.
I would maybe contact the teacher. See why she for-bayed him from going. Maybe he asks every day or something like that. Best of luck. My kiddo 15 and just Dx ADD.
I agree you should address this what if he had been a child that had just sat back down and had an accident we were all kids in school o very we k ow how other kids can be but bathroom should never be denied
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I’d ask the teacher first then decide. maybe they can explain something maybe ur son left out. won’t know until u ask.
Children should not have to ask permission to use the restroom. This is a huge reason why I chose to homeschool
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This happened to my son in 3rd grade. He ended up wetting his pants. It was disgustingly embarrassing for him and I raised a whole new h e L L in that office!!! To this day the teacher won’t look me in the eye. Now my son knows if a teacher tells him no for the bathroom he has my permission to walk out use the bathroom and when he returns tell the teacher to call me. I will never punish my child for having to use the bathroom. If there was a fire? What a weak excuse 
…he can hear an alarm going off from the bathroom lmao…some teachers really get some power trip over these kids. It’s sad, pick a new profession.
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I wouldn’t call, I’d have a face to face with the teacher, principal & your child.
No child should beg to use the bathroom.
I’d let her know, “He knows where your class is in case of a fire, does he not? So, your reasoning is desperate & highly lacking for an adult.”
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I would be in office and district office and raise so much hell. I am that mom, grandma and great grandma. They know me. I don’t play.
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Yes, call the school.
My granddaught came home from Elementary School and told me her teacher would not let her go to the restroom and she had to hold it for a long time. I told her if she has to go to the restroom and the teacher would not let her go,to pee her pants.or tell her you are going to the restroom and go but go right back to class room. Will one day she needed to go teacher said no,go sit down. She peed in her pants, teacher got mad sent her to first aid, they called me told me what happened. They was at lunch.I ask where was her teacher? When in the lunch room told the teacher she better not ever stop her from going to the restroom again. She said we have restroom brakes. I said that’s fine but if she has to go let her go or i will be a complaint on you. Never happen again.
I am a teacher. I would talk to the teacher.
When you have to go you go , no one should ever be denied to go to the bathroom .
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I would and if they insisted I’d come check him out during recess
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I would talk to the school and superintendent and make it known not for just that teacher but the whole district know, you treat children like human beings not prisoners.
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Talk to the teacher face to face, maybe he goes to the bathroom too much. I had a kid in my class literally go 2-3x a class just to be an asshole and when he was denied he would get up and go anyway. It was a behavioral issue.
I just trained for substitute teacher ( I am a mom) and the first thing they tell you is always let kids go to the restroom. Teachers are not allowed to deny it
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my granddaughter has told me that she has needed to go during the class time. She’s in 4th grade. I told her if she is in a position where its wet her pants if she does not go, then to get up and go. Her parents or I will deal with the consequences. She will definitely not be in trouble at home.
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Talk directly to the teacher.
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You should definitely go to the school and not with an attitude, but clearly seeking some answers. When I have to go- I have to go. Basic body function.
I have called the school over this !!! Except my son is five he asked to use the bathroom and was told to wait apparently the adult forgot and my son was scared to ask again so he peed his pants this was this winter he came home hours !!! Later completely soaking wet he told me a kid at school peed his pants ect because he was scared to tell me he was that kid I could smell him he was completely covered and not one person noticed !! I flipped out
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You know America is the only country that requires a child ask permission to use the restroom, and the only country where children are refused to be allowed simple biological functions. And America’s education system is the only one falling apart.
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I just had this conversation with a co worker! I always told my kids if you have to use the bathroom and the teacher says no, you get up and go anyway! I will deal with later! Would if it was a girl that had her visitor.? I would be up the school if I was you
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I have had this situation with my teenage daughter and as a women we all know at some point during the month sometimes you have to go to the bathroom or it can become extremely embarrassing. She has a male teacher a health teacher no less, she asked him to go to the bathroom and he said no, she told him she needed to go and he again said no, she than told him why she needed to go and he again said no. She got her phone and called me, I asked her if it was an emergency and she said defiantly yes, so I said go… the teacher wrote her up… I called the teacher and asked him if she had a habit of leaving class and he said no, I asked was it during a test and he said no (it was at the end of class) so I told him that from now on when my daughter says she needs to go to the bathroom and he says no, if she truly has to go than she has my permission to walk out of class and if she gets written up oh well… that’s one thing neither of my children have a problem with is leaving class to use the bathroom because neither likes to use it at school, so when they say they have to go I know they really do, now other things that’s another story… because kids will be kids…
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Yeah see I would be going in there as well. You should not have to beg to use the bathroom. Anyone. Especially girls.