This is common sense, but uh, I’m in a dilemma…I’m dating a great guy. It’s been a few weeks, but I don’t want to end the relationship just because he doesn’t want any more babies. I’m 27, and he’s 35. he feels like he’s really old but comes on, that’s not old. Should I leave him or stay and find a way to convince myself that his choice matters too?
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Leave. I wasted 12 years on a man trying to “convince him”
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If you are 100% sure you want kids and he is 100% sure he doesn’t. Time to go.
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Do you want children? If you do then you should leave.
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Do the math you want kids and he doesn’t are you going to be with him for years hoping he’ll change his mind I say move on
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His choice does matter. And if he’s telling you now that he doesn’t want any more kids , take that at face value. You’ll end up hurt and with a lot of wasted time
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If you want different things then it isn’t going to work out. I personally wouldn’t want more kids at 35 either.
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If you really want children I’d say leave. You can’t force someone to have more children if they don’t want to.
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Children are deal breakers. If he doesn’t want them, then you won’t change his mind. He’s 35, not 20. I’m 37, guess how much chance you have of making me change my mind in anything I feel strongly against 
. This applies to men too.
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Do you want kids? If your answer is a solid yes, then your answer to the relationship should be a solid NO.
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If he doesn’t want children and you do, you’re wasting your time. If you’re ok not having more children then stay but don’t stay to try to convince him.
I’m 29. My husband is 52. We have a child together and I don’t think he’s too old.
If you want babies and he doesn’t I would leave for sure. 
If having kids is really important to you and something you want then I would leave. It’s not fair to try and make him change.
Why hurt both of you when you know you want different things in life? If you want kids and he doesn’t - feels like this is just prolonging the inevitable. It will hurt a lot more later on.
I’d just tell him your dilemma and say you might have to break things off because that’s what you truly want. If he holds firm still then go. You don’t want to try to convince someone or have an ooops when they don’t want to be a father, because then you’re going to have even more issues.
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I wouldnt waite on it to long. If you really love him then you love him but if you wanna create a family you need to create a family that a father is going to admire having a child with you
It depends… are you looking for a serious long term relationship? If so then move on. He might be a great guy but it sounds like you both want different things. If not then have fun while you can.
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Their are millions of people on this earth just keep looking for some one to build your family with. Because his choice matters.
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I think you need to have an honest convo with him where you say “kids are important to me. I want kids. If you don’t, we need to end this now before we get further attached.” Let him think on it- like flat out say, “don’t answer now. Give it a week, think about it and let me know, but for me children is a deal breaker if you don’t want kids, I have to be done with you.”
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Why the hell would his choice not matter? Imagine if you didn’t want them and he did and he said your choice didn’t matter. That’s insanity. And it’s not an artichoke- it’s bringing a living soul into the world. Both people should want it and be prepared to be committed to caring for this helpless human who didn’t ask to be here. Imagine how much better the world would be if people weren’t so thoughtless about their decision to bring new life into it…
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Move on . If you wan a kid and he doesn’t there is nothing in common with both it you . Why stay if your not going to be happy
Leave??? Sorry girly
If you want kids leave
Or you’ll regret it when you are older and could resent him for it
Or if you are able to force him to choose between loosing you and having kids later he could resent you…
End it before you are both in too deep
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At 35 I want to enjoy life and would be done having kids honestly. I would respect his choice. There are other guys out there if you really want to have another baby.
His choice does matter, but so does yours. If he doesn’t want kids, just move on. I mean honestly. Dont waste either of your time trying for a relationship that won’t work out in the end
Been in the exact
Same situation ended up married. Surprise had a kid and by surprise I mean it truly was.
We divorced when he was 18 months old. I don’t recommend looking past something like that. It will always be an issue.
A few weeks? Girl get over it and see if you even stay together long enough to want kids together
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If you want kids and are not going change your mind then you should split before you’re both more hurt in the long run. Don’t try and guilt trip into having kids he doesn’t want, don’t force your desires on him, just say "I really want more kids and you’ve expressed that is not in your plan so I’m breaking this off before we both get hurt.
He is being up front and honest with u… dont waste hes time
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Is he saying no kids at all or no more children? If he isn’t wanting more children, then there maybe a reason. If he doesn’t want any at all and you have children, what is he planning to do if your relationship continues
This is a deal breaker. He’s not saying “not now”, he’s saying “not ever” and dont go trying to change his mind cuz itll backfire on you…you either need to make peace with the fact that you won’t be having children or break it off…
Don’t try to convince him to want kids. He’ll only resent you as you will him for not having kids. It’s tough. But I’d leave him unless you can be happy not having kids.
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Uhhhh. Its been a few weeks. He told you he doesn’t want kids.
Move on.
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I’d say wait til you’ve been dating longer than a few weeks to even begin thinking of kids with him. Focus on yall, a relationship isnt based around kids, you gotta make sure you two are happy with yourselves and as a couple before talking about kids. Do you live with the guy even? A few weeks is def not enough time to talk about having kids.
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Move on. He shouldn’t have to compromise and neither should you. Find someone with similar life goals
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Yes, the fist few months is the time to see if their life dreams are in line with yours. One wants kids and the other don’t let go now. That can cause major issues.
And lots of resentment on thr side who don’t get wjat they want Get out while the feelings are new and your Not attached.
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I’m 26 and my guy is 38 we’ve been together for 3 years and we talked about this the first month we dated I wanted at least one child with him
Yes. Leave. You’ll just resent him later on when you’re ready to be a mother.
Follow your 
!!!
Not what anyone else thinks .
That’s what being an adult is .
My ex felt the same way, he was 35 when we met. We ended up having 2 kids, our eldest was born the day before he turned 39. He knew I wanted kids and we discussed it at length.
I don’t want anymore kids but if I met the right man and he wanted kids I would consider it, but I would tell him any future kids would have ADD or ADHD. It runs strongly in my family genes 
.
It’s only been a few weeks and you’re already talking about kids?
I’m surprised he hasn’t run
If you don’t want to end the relationship then you need to come to terms with not having kids. Otherwise you need to end it. Period.
You shouldn’t have to convince yourself that his choice matters, it’s his life, of course his choice matters. Respectfully tell him that if he’s certain he doesn’t want kids than the relationship can’t continue because you do want kids in your future.
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If you’re willing to throw away something as serious as having children for a dude you’ve known for a few weeks…
HIS CHOICE MATTERS TOO!!! What a statement.
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I wouldn’t leave right always, I’d try to convince him otherwise and if you can’t agree then decide because it’s unfair to both reallyZ
If you want babies then end it now. If not in about a year you will be posting about advice bc your husband doesn’t want kids.
Mine was 50 when our daughter was conceived he wasnt happy at first cause his kids were adults but he loves her now… I was 23 and he knew I wanted one
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You guys have only been seeing each other for a few weeks … Move on and find someone you don’t need to “fix”
Do you love him? Does he love you? In a relationship you both have to compromise at points. If he doesn’t want a kid, then ask for a puppy/kitten. All cause he doesn’t want kids, and you do. Doesn’t mean you should end the relationship. If he was cheating, did things you didn’t approve and when you told him about it he shrugged it off, or even he was a slub that made you clean up after him. Those a reasons to leave, even a sign of abuse is a good reason to leave. I guess it is up to you, but if he doesn’t wasn’t kids. I wouldn’t force it, cause then he might push you away.
I am 35 and no way would I want more kids. No it might no be that old But old enough to know what you do and do not want . If you want more , break it off
Like you said, common sense. He doesn’t want kids, you do. Talk about it and decide if it’s a deal breaker for either of you and then go your separate ways
And honestly , he had been honest. You saying try to convince yourself his choice matter too, he deserves better
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Any more …does he have any that you would be step mom to
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You need to “convince yourself” that his choice matters too… That’s just the reality of it… It’s been a few weeks and you’re already planning out your life and babies? Ease up abit… If he’s adamant he doesn’t want kids and you really do, realistically if you stay you’re wasting both of your time… Why get invested… And if he already has kids, and is done, respect it…
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Gotta be real with yourself. Unless you trap him he may never come around. No need to prolonged the inevitable…might as well call it now.
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What happens if the time passed and it doesnt work out you may have regret
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You should move on and tell him why but if he loves you he will allow you to have a child since you don’t have any
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Leave, hes told you straight up, respect that and move on, by the sounds of it I could see you getting pregnant on purpose, because that’s what you want 
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Only been a few weeks and your wondering about having kids? Wow
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No no no do yourself a favor.
If you want kids and he doesn’t then you really need to move on because that will not work out in the long run if y’all were to get married and you end up having a child together he may resent you for that. There are plenty of men out there that are good guys and would want to have kids. Believe me I know it’s tough giving up a great guy but having kids is a major issue and if you are it to end up married that would be a major deal and it may end up in divorce so you don’t want to marry someone that you know you don’t agree with
You shouldn’t need to convince yourself that his choice matters, because his choice just does matter.
If you want kids and he doesn’t, you’re better off ending the relationship.
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Kind of an impasse there I think. Not fair of you to give up wanting a family to be with him, not fair to force him into a family he doesn’t want. It’s just one of those things
Find a way to convince yourself that his opinion matters too??? What??? Such a lack lf respect on your part already in just a few short weeks of dating. Of course it matters. Why should there be any convincing in that? He was honest and said from the begining that he doesn’t want children with you. If you can’t accept that then leave. You should probably leave anyways and work on yourself and your perspective towards men and their choices.
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When you say it’s been a few weeks, do you mean the relationship? Because if so I dont blame him. By the time you guys get to that point in the relationship and serious enough to have kids, dude will be like 40 lol
It’s a deal breaker, do not trap him.
Omg it’s been a few weeks, take it easy
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I have 2 kids and my man doesn’t want any kids if his own. I respect him for that and you have the decision to make on whether you respect his decision or if you want kids.
He may be a great guy but hes just not the one for you! You’ll find someone who wants what you want and your stars will align 
Leave and date someone who wants more kids.
Slow down. It’s only been a few weeks, that’s hardly enough time to know if you even want to have a long term relationship with him.
If you really respected the man his choices would automatically matter to you and there wouldn’t need to be any convincing.
Good Luck.
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Wow… few weeks… and this…
My husband met me knowing i didnt want any more kids… i had 3 from a previous relationship. The youngest was 7… a year later i changed my mind and a another year later we welcomed our beautiful baby girl… now almost 5yrs later he left me and filed for divorced and gave me full custody with him having every other weekend… so now im a 43 years old with a 5 year old… love her 2death but this is exactly why i told him i didnt want anymore kids when we first met😞
I would ask him if it’s a definite no or just his preference. Or if it’s something he is willing to discuss with you if things become serious. If he isn’t and you want kids then it’s not the relationship for you.
Give it time things could change
If he doesn’t want children then listen! You can’t change his feelings & if you got pregnant he would most likely resent you & the child.
If he doesn’t want kids and you do then you need to end it NOW. Women who don’t listen to when a man is telling you something this important needs their head’s examined. And if you "accidentally " get pregnant hoping they will change their mind you are a real piece of work that doesn’t deserve an honest man.
Just let him know straight up that you really like him but it won’t work because you want to have kids in the future, and you’re looking for someone who you can be with long-term. If he really doesn’t want any more kids he’ll be civil about it and that’ll be the end of it. If he likes you enough and he thinks he might consider it someday, then he’d let you know at that point and you can stay together longer. Either way, you’ll have to have a talk with him expecting to end it.
Respect his choice. If you someday convince him, he’ll end up being a crappy and reluctant father. Don’t do that to a child.
Leave. I was in that situation and I left. After that I met my husband and we have a beautiful daughter and a daughter on the way together. I couldn’t be happier. He told you flat out and that’s great he was honest with you so now it’s time for you to find someone that does want a family.
Wow you lady’s just don’t know what a good man is that sad
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If you want kids, yes you should leave.
Depends on what your goals/dreams on…if they differ then its time to move on
Either accept that there will be no babies or move on
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just wait and see, seriously
my partner and i have been together for 5 years both from different countries even
i had 5 children b4 we meet he had 4
i told him i wanted 5 more and said he was definitely not wanting anymore, within a 6months he had changed his mind and a year later we had a baby making our family 10 and still wanting more, not saying your partner is the same but see how use are together 1st
Say goodbye if you’re sure you want kids.
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If you want kids, that relationship isn’t for you.
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There’s plenty of guys who do want kids, so I mean why try to convince him of something he already knows he doesn’t want?
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Ok ppl don’t judge but anyways. Talk to him and ask if he would be ok that you get pregnant by a sperm donor bank. And you gladly raise it yourself even tho dating him and possible marrying him. At one point I wanted a baby from a sperm bank and be a single mom but still have a husband.
Umm that’s a deal breaker! Listen Seriously he’s 35 by now he knows who he is or at least should! He can be great but not the one you need and want for a future. Your 27 dont settle on someone who doesn’t have the same goals in life. Because life is to short.
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35, single, great guy…
Nope leave, none of that goes together lololol
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That’s a deal breaker to me.
If its common sense, then why are you asking?
Your willing to let go of a great guy because he doesn’t want anymore children? I would seriously think this out. Is it really worth it? The cost to raise a child is more than anyone realizes. And bringing a child into today’s world isn’t the smartest thing to do either. Seriously think this through
Find someone else who has common goals for the future. That’s not fair to either one of you. Leave before you do get pregnant and he ends up being unhappy because he didn’t want to have any kids.
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Of his name’s Carlos leave🤣 he’s already got four baby momma’s and five kids… If a man tells you he doesn’t want kids… he is either saying with you, or period. A few weeks that’s a bit fast to me. If not having kids isn’t a deal breaker I’d say just let it be but if you for sure want kids then I’d say time to move on and let it go.
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Well ya never know my now husband was my bf he’ll he didn’t even want a relationship and I was ok with being just friends well weeks go by and he asked me to be his girlfriend 2 hrs later we r married and have a son and he didn’t want kids either and one day he said I want have babies with you. So that was that.
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Dont ever count on changing someone.
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