My son’s father left us when he was three months old for another woman and kicked us out, knowing we really didn’t have anywhere else to go. We moved in with my parents. My son is now three, and his father hasn’t seen him in 2 years. He doesn’t show to court visits, doesn’t initiate to see him or even ask for photos, completely blanked him out of his life. his friends and family have been going around town telling everyone I keep my son from them and that every time his father gets a job, I call the cops to get him arrested (which doesn’t even make sense in itself?). My son’s aunt and grandmother have had nothing to do with him since he was five months old. They walk past him all the time and don’t say one word to him, don’t try to ask to see him. On my son’s first birthday, the grandmother asked me for my phone number, and I gave it to her. She said she’d see him when she got a day off. It’s been two years now. I did see her again during the summer, and she stated she lost my number, so I told her, “I’ll message you from Facebook the number,” so she was aware she had more than one way to get into contact with me. Do I continue trying to initiate a relationship between the grandmother and aunt with my son? Do I leave it be? My son’s father just lost custody of his other two children and has booked state because he has warrants. So a relationship with his father isn’t really possible. I took him to court (which he didn’t show to) to take away his visitations since he didn’t utilize them at all.
If just let it lie where it is. If they are truly interested, they’ll find a way to get in touch with you.
Never force someone to be in your child’s life if they don’t want to be. The child will feel the resentment. Distance is better, especially when he is young
When he is older and wants to try and make contact himself, give him all the information he needs. For now, just remind him of how many people he has that loves him. He won’t miss a thing.
Leave it alone. He doesnt want him and neither does his family. They dont deserve him anyways. Move on!
Nope just leave it. It’s not worth the stress and they’re obviously not interested.
Omg! Why in the world wouldn’t you just leave it alone? Isn’t it quite obvious they want no contact with him? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that! 
What a fucking piece of shit
A judge will terminate his parental rights. Get a hold of the other 2 children’s mother and ask them to help you get his parental rights terminated if he doesn’t have any for them.
Just leave it alone. They have ways of contacting you.
Stop trying to force this relationship with these people. If they were going to be involved and were serious about it they would do it. It’s not going to make sense to you how someone could walk away from your child but don’t t worry about those people that left. You be there. It’s almost better to be all the way out than halfway in a child’s life. It’s sad but he’s telling you he’s not interested and your child has no relationship with them he doesn’t know them at all. So leave it be.
Don’t initiate contact at all! Sounds like you’re better off. Stop being stupid
Just leave it. You have enough to do as a single mom, trying to force a relationship with the dads side is just making more work for you. They are adults and if they wish to talk to you they can do a FB search. But honestly, you and your son are better off without them at all instead of them being in and out.
Personally I wouldn’t bother
No I wouldn’t bother. If they cared they would make the effort.
It’s obviously a mute point by now they’ve had years and multiple opportunities they know how to get ahold of you if they have any interest in doing so in the future.
Of they contact you to see him id let him but make sure you are there since he doesnt know them, but dont go out of your way to try to get them to be there if they want to they will. I tried for 7 years to get my daughters dad to be in her life she is now 10 and he acted like he wanted to last year then all of a sudden stopped
Leave it alone. Not worth the stress.
NO. As a Grandma myself I would give my arms and legs to see my grandchild. If your ex is telling people that just let him. This day and age most people know that courts step in if a custodial parent is keeping a child away from the other parent.
I would send him updates via certified mail once every six months. I wouldn’t give much information. Keep it short and sweet. Send a picture. To his mom. To him. And you have done your duty. You cannot make someone want to be a dad. A real man doesn’t do this to their children. So sad.
Your son don’t need them in his life …let it be
leave well enough alone. children, no matter how alone you are, or how defeated, or frustrated, shouldn’t feel like the ought to be begging for love. fuck that. the guy, his family, the bullshit. you love your kid. y’all are gonna be okay. 
You’ve done more than your share love. I respect you doing everything you can so your son has his family. But some “family” is better off in the distance. Blood don’t mean anything when they act like that. Keep him around those who make him a priority. His father obviously learned it somewhere himself. Don’t put your baby thru that.
Cut them out if they go around lieing oh well your kid and if they dont initiate with him thats on them
Definitely do NOT have anything to do with any of them. Like, EVER!
Leave it Be. My Daughter is 4 and doesn’t Know her Father he isn’t interested. I Gave His Family Loads of chances to Meet her&See her etc I Gave up in the End as they Saw my messages but never Got Back to me some Blocked me! At somepoint u gonna Give Up! You Tired they ain’t Interested. At Least u Can Tell ur Child u Tired ur Best. She hasn’t Met Any One from his Side of the Family And doesn’t Know About them neither. Obviously I will tell her when she is older Enough. however She Looks up To my Uncel& my parther as a Father role Model.
Just move on with your life. You’ve done your part, now it’s their turn to make an effort. You focus on taking care of yourself and your little one.
Their loss hun you are doing what you can they don’t want to put in the effort
… are you insane?
They all sound toxic and unhealthy to be around to me. Don’t avoid but don’t initiate and if they initiate, supervise.
I wouldn’t try to make anymore effort. You made it clear that they can reach you. I’d be open with your son. Your son will eventually start asking questions. Answer them honestly. If at some point he wishes to attempt contact allow him and be there for him.
Don’t bother or waste your time.
Have him sign his rights away and leave it be. Fuck em. But don’t let them come crawling to you later on.
No and I think it’s sad that you even needed to ask this question.
I would keep the lines of communication open in case any one changes their mind, but I would not pursue a relationship. They have to want it, otherwise, it is your child that will be hurt in the end.
Nope. They obviously don’t care so don’t let someone in your kids life who doesn’t care about them
Your child will have a better life without him.
You take care of your son momma, I know it hurts because they don’t care but guess what he has you. And that’s all that matters! Sending love
No, Honey. You are not responsible for any relationship with your child but your own.
No don’t. Just leave it alone
No. It’s better to teach your son to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump over a puddle for them.
Don’t worry about what he and his family say. Narcissist love to be the victim. People will always eventually see them for who they really are.
Bottom line, it isn’t your job to force him to have a relationship with his son. It’s only your job not to stand in the way of one if he tried.
Let it go. Take care of you and your son. They don’t care. Tell others you have tried but you don’t get a response. Talk to them not you.
Im in a similar situation and this is what I do… Every year send a picture and an update. To all of them maybe grandma, aunt. Just so you can tell your son when hes older if he asks you did more than enough. But thats just my opinion.
Also kinda like a “eff you look how amazing this little boy is that you’re missing out on” - and hopefully shows them what they are doing is terribly unfair to your son and yourself.
Love to you mama, this shit aint easy
No, never force your child on anyone even if they are his family, sometimes kids are better off without people like that
Nope leave them out of your sons life. Sounds like he is better off to not be around those kinds of people you are describing
Why ???
These people are toxic and you should stay away from them
Actually I have a question. How did you take him to court to take away his visitation? It’s a serious question because I need to do this but I’m not sure where to start. Message me in private if you’d like. I just need info
If they want it they will put in more effort if not it’s on them
Take away his rights and go live ur life and keep putting your child first u got this hun.
No, in the end, your Son will see who is really there for him and who is not.
You cant force a relationship with anyone. Leave it be and move on with your life.
No. Don’t initiate any more contact. This exact situation has happened to me with my six-year-old. The dad wants absolutely nothing to do with her and neither does the rest of his family. All of a sudden his mother wanted to meet up and finally meet her granddaughter in person and I was OK with the meeting and when the time came she never showed and completely ghosted us. I don’t have any of them blocked on social media and I haven’t changed my number or have their numbers blocked. But they don’t want anything to do with her and I don’t go chasing them down to try and force them to have a relationship with a family member they clearly don’t even acknowledge as blood. Don’t go after them trying to create a relationship with your son. Leave them alone and when they ask for contact give them the opportunity. It’s easier to prove in court when you’ve been compliant and they have refused to act on the opportunity. It’s on them not you.
Why would you want toxic people in your childs life? They haven’t tried so why bother. Your child needs people that love him. Not people who come and go when its connvienat for them.
its their loss my children were done the same way. then when they were raised and through college and the bills had been paid by me, he start calling them and trying to get back in their lives. Don’t degrade him just tell your son he did not have the time to love him and be in his life. And that’s the truth.
Cut all contact. They don’t deserve your son and he deserve so much more than a “family” like that. And so do you
Leave it be…your child is better off without any of them. If your child was important to them they would make it happen
No, just continue your life. If they wanted to make your son a priority they would have done that long ago. Can’t force them to make an effort. 🤷
I would let it go for now, when your son is older she can initiate contact if she wants. I’ve seen so many kids grow up and seek out family and it seems to be more welcomed coming from the kids, that family is more receptive
You can’t force a relationship with these people. It’s apparent that they have believed his lies so he can play the victim in all this. Be free and live your life and be the best mom you can to your child.
I would remain vigilant and get my own place and check the grandparents rights in your state . Leave it alone
Uh hell no. It is not your job to make people be in his life. If someone wants part of you and your sons life they can make the effort.
No way. If he doesn’t want anything to do with him, then don’t force it.
Any man can be a father but it takes a real man to be a dad.
I don’t know why you took all visitations away if he doesn’t use them anyway, it does make you look like the bad guy on paper. But regardless it’s not your responsibility to make people see your child. You can make a small effort to invite them to birthday parties or award ceremonies for school or sports just to make yourself feel better and so you can tell your child that you tried whenever he gets older and asks but that’s really all the effort you should put into it.
Don’t put yourself or you child in a situation where someone is inconsistently in their lives. In my opinion, that would do more harm than good to you and your son’s psyche.
No stop trying and just live your best life with your child! My oldest daughters dad went to prison right before her 4th birthday and his family hated me so much they couldn’t put it aside to have a relationship with her and now that she’s 12 they admit it and are sad by it but I always tried to be accommodating for them but after awhile you just live your life with your child and move on from them toxic people
Unfortunately, it’s sad how many guys can lay down and make kids but don’t want to grow up and be real men and take care of them. I’m sorry you are going through this. I wouldn’t give them the time a day. Their loss, not yours.
You’ve done more than enough…leave him in the past, and move on with your life and your son. Good luck. 
You’ve done enough. Raise your son and move on. Don’t beg anyone to be in his life.
Leave them alone. No need to bring them into his life for them to disappear again.
You did your job so now if they want to see him let them try it’s not your job to hund down family for your son
Nope just dont waste your time. Their lost. Your son will be way better off without them
Forget that. I’d take him to court and try to eliminate his rights so he doesn’t try to pop in and make a mess of things 5 or 10 years down the road
Not your responsibility. If you move or change numbers. To keep your conscience clear send it to them and leave it at that. Hell I gave grandmother and her son their phone numbers when they got a phone. Still nothing. When my son hit 18 messaged me asking why he doesn’t know her. I told her exactly that it is not my responsibility, you had all their information. That was 2 years ago. He still has not talked or seen her.
No, if you have made all attempts & they haven’t followed thru with their words then I wouldnt force the relationship because in the end its your son getting hurt because they let him down.
Terminate his rights.
Keep records showing you tried. If they do choose to come back into his life they’ll say you kept him from them. Be able to show the effort on your end.
It is not a mothers responsibility to initiate or maintain a relationship with our kids & their fathers or their family. It’s his responsibility. Of course they blame you. Blaming their child, sibling would mean he’s wrong, they raised him that way. Let it go. If he wanted a relationship with his son he would’ve had 1. If it was important for his family to be in your son’s life he would’ve made sure that happened. Leave the responsibility to him. It’s hard because of all the scrutiny single moms face. If father decides he’s just a sperm donor it’s somehow always the mother’s fault. It’s just society enabling men to be irresponsible.
You done everything humanly possible for your child to have a relationship with the grandma and aunt. It is not your responsibility to seek them out and for them to have a relationship with your son, it is theirs. They wanna see him they contact you not the other way around. I personally would just cut the losses and move on with your life. That’s what I’m doing and it feels amazing not to run after people to have a relationship with my 4 little ones. At the end of the day your son with notice who is and always will be there for him.
I wouldn’t initiate NOTHING. It’s not your job to keep them in his life . When you see them , do the same . Walk past , and let then talk . You know your truth.
Stop trying. That’s on them, not you.
You have done all you should. Move on.
I would leave it be. You tried they didn’t. It could do more harm for your son than good. Your the most positive, constant person in his life. If he gets attached to grandma or aunt and then they up and leave his life it will be heartbreaking for him. Leave everything alone and when he asks in the future you can tell him you tried and they failed
Yes because it not good for them to be in and out . Kids don’t understand that .
You have done way more than your share. If they really wanted to be a part of your sons life, they would have tried more. It doesnt fall onto only you to keep the contact going. IMO dont bother trying anymore. Leave it at simply words but dont make any promises.
Ut lucky being a single parents is the best ur child will have much love and happiness he dont need garbage
U already know the answer to this question… File for abandonment and move on with ur life… They dont deserve ur child and ur child doesnt deserve that hurt…
Don’t continue to try. I made this mistake too. Takes too much time and energy. If they want to be in his life…they will be. This sounds exactly like my daughter’s father. She’s 9 and he popped in briefly for 3 months. It hurt her more than helped her. Last night randomly she said she didn’t even miss him because she sees how mean he is.
I say move on. And you will find someone a lot more honest and if hes any kind d of a person will adopt. Just check them out better for the next one
Don’t do it.
If mom and sister actually got shitty that “you call the law on him when he gets a new job” ( I’m guessing to have child support garnished because he can’t bother to pay it on his own) then they are big fat enablers and will never see anything wrong with his actions.
They literally blamed YOU for him not paying child support. That’s petty and waaay off point. They will literally blame you for him not seeing him, him being a POS, him not paying support…you name it. He is innocent and you are the devil…all because he is expected to support his kid.
Screw that, and screw them. No one needs that drama and blood always doesn’t make family
I FEEL YOUR PAIN AND COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND. Im in the same boat.
Guess what I realized…I’m a single mother and all the time and energy that I waste on trying to make grown adults do what they clearly DO NOT want to do, is just taking time and energy away from my son. My son needs as much attention and love from me as possible because I am all he has. Giving time and energy to deadbeat dads and deadbeat family members is a waste of my life. Enjoy your baby, he needs you.
Also…
If you won the lottery, You wouldn’t beg an idiot to take a million dollars.
Stop trying to share your lottery winnings (your son) with fools. You got this.
Show your boy your strength, not weakness.
This is my exact situation. All you can do is try, you can’t make people love your kids. You’re a good Mama.
I would leave it be. if they wanted to be there they would have by now
I would say message to grandmother. Through Facebook with all the contact information that you have email phone number. Etcetera if you get no response, then just leave it be.
Sounds like your son’s sperm donor was raised by very shity. People Hence why he is the way he is. Do a better job at raising your son. without them So he doesn’t turn around. Have a bunch of kids by different women. I’m not take responsibility.
Don’t put your son through that, he worth more than being someone’s option when its convenient. He’s a toddler, he notices things, he doesn’t need to learn instability is okay.
Girl, no. I was this way for a long while. My ex even lived on the same street as my daughter and I, with his mom for 3 yrs and nothing! Now his mom would see my daughter here and there and call usually on holidays, but it just got to the point where it was me always going out of my way. My daughter now is almost 14 and he owes like 40000 in back child support and hasn’t worked in at least two years and has two warrants out. Trust me. You cannot make somebody want to be a father or care about a child. It is best to cut your losses and move on.
He dont want to be involved leave him be
Sometimes when things don’t work like they should… it’s a blessing in disguise.
Make your own village of support and don’t think twice about them. That’s their loss. You baby will grow up one day and figure some things out, but don’t put ideas in the babies mind that he should feel bad or rejected or bitter… resentful. You and your kid may need to get counseling over the years to help with unanswered questions, but don’t seek them out… that family of fools.
You did everything in your power for him. Don’t try any more. When your child is old enough to decide if he wants to try a relationship
What does the family court say about him kicking you out. Did u get any compensation or financial assistance from him.
Just focus on raising your kid if they don’t wanna be in his life then there lost not yours