I wouldn’t allow my children around that. Despite that being his family you and your children are his family now. He is growing old with you, not his family. How I was taught is who do you love and go home to every night, and why would they let you continue to be disrespected by their family. Stand your ground.
I’m in the same boat but with my husband’s aunt/uncle and sister as he doesn’t have any relationship with his biological mother and father. Honestly as soon as I put my foot down about how I was treated it still continued for months after months until finally we had so much going on that we both did some shit we both take back but as soon as my husband seen that there was about to be no marriage and his family was a good 50 percent of the reason and me and him being the other 50 it helped so much not having anything to do with his aunt and uncle. They tried bribing him to leave me to help pay for a lawyer and he told them no. We have given them the benefit of the doubt to contact back but they have decided on their own to stop contacting as I made it clear I didn’t want to have anything to do with them and I didn’t want my kids to either. They decided due to being cussed out by him but either way it has fixed half of our issues. He still contacts his sister but short conversations and I’m in the loop at least I hope i am.
Keep them away,they sound like dramatic toxic people.
Thats a F@@K NO from me they wouldn’t even get thru my gate Lmao
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Keep your kids away from that toxicity!!! They deserve so much better.
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In life or death, if people hate me they could not love my kids whom are apart of me… I might allow a good bye visit with me present but thats about it
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let her go live your life it will not change them either way
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You’re protecting your children from that craziness.
There is a logical reason you chose to stay away and keep them away. You’ve already relaxed and let visits happen, then you where disrespected and quite frankly attacked. So remember there are good reasons. I say stick to your guns, blood does not 
you having to accept abuse/harassment or disrespect
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Nope, stand your ground. Do not let them think they can come and be apart of your life again, their disrespect and bullying will only start up again and could even become worse. They made their choice to be the way they are, they can deal with the consequences. If you allow them back in they will think they can get away with their crappy behaviour, don’t expose your kids to that kind of toxicity
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Protect your kids from them.
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I wouldn’t! How can they like your kids if they don’t like you and wish you dead. The kids will be a reminder.
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This is not your burden to bare and is their choice and those have consequences. Qith any life there is an end and when that comes it is on them for the decision they have made. No one should take that verbal and emotional abuse just cause it is family. Toxic people should never be let in no matter the reason and just like children bad behavior shouldn’t be rewarded
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Keep the children safely away from these toxic people. They are not family if their behavior is such!
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Nope. Cut ties completely!
nope. if you don’t respect me, you don’t respect my kids who are half me!
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I’d tell them all where to go.!
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Personally I wouldn’t let them visit with my kids. They seem very toxic and that’s not good. Their going to teach you children that same behavior, and repeat that cycle. I think you should just stay away and the kids too.
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Toxic is toxic, even if it’s family.
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Sounds like a them problem and you should drop the people telling you you’re a villan.
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Forgiveness just when someone is dying/and/or sick is a tricky situation. If they are truly sorry, they would offer an apology and an olive branch, not more abuse. Regret is a two way road, should I, shouldn’t I. The saying of you made your bed, and now you have to lay in it works both ways. Do what’s best for you in your heart, and for your children. Just because someone is ill, it doesn’t suddenly erase poor past behaviour. Don’t be bullied by anyone. As long as you have peace with your decision, to hell with anyone else.
Take care 
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I worry that there is more to the toxic relationship than has been told. Sometimes we don’t see our own faults.
I, too have issues with family relationships. I think there is something true about the old mother-in law jokes. I just know we have to re-examine our own selfs. It’s hard to blend families. I think we have to try to be true to ourselves and be kind. Most times we only spend a few hours together with extended family member, so try to make it a good time, until we meet again. You are the captain of your ship. Teach your kids about people and that you have the right to say No to things that are totally negative and don’t feel right to them. My mom had an old saying You can’t put an old head on young shoulders. Life is difficult. I also believe negative things are from the Evil One, the Devil. All God asked of us is to Love One Another. Love doesn’t mean we can defend ourselves against those who are against us. Keep the faith.
Blood doesn’t mean squat. No need to be around them. Don’t allow them the chance to be toxic.
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I wouldn’t … you’re kids are relying on you to keep them safe … have faith in your own judgements on this. It could all blow up if you go… it sounds like a toxic situation and people act in crazy ways when someone is dying… stress levels are high…. if that happened in front of your kids and they might see stuff/hear stuff that could be emotionally damaging for them.
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They wish you dead. NO. Never let the kids around them. Ever. Matter of fact I would take all their death threats and file a ppo for yourself and kids so that they CAN’T be there. That way if they DO something or make the attempt the possibility is known.
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If they want to hurt you like that , then imagine what they can do to little people who come from you that CAN NOT DEFEND THEMSELVES.
Personally if I was you , I laugh and wave and let them know KARMA COMES ALL KINDS OF WAYS 
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I say absolutely not. The toxicity could rub off on to your kids and I fear for your children’s safety if they were to be around them. His family is toxic
Don’t feel bad, you are being a mom keep protecting your kids if someone dies well to bad for them take care of your own.
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Its up to you…but they are not the kind of people you want your kids around…keep those babies safe.
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I’d ask the kids how they feel.
The only people you owe ANYTHING to is your kids! They made the bed, now they have to lay in it.
Also, who cares if you’re the “villain” to them. If protecting your kids makes you a villain, embrace the title 
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Hell no if they don’t respect u and treat u poorly just imagine how they’ll treat ur kids keep them away
Nope! They are way too toxic! If they treat you that way… there’s no way they can treat your children good.
If someone threatened my life and WISHED DEATH upon ME and my family …. There’s absolutely NO WAY my kids will EVER be around them!!
They wished Death upon you all… so now that KARMA is knocking on their door… let them wallow in it!!
It’s too late! They can meet their maker, and explain WHY they felt what they felt, did what they did and said what they said!!!
What they have done and are doing is ABUSE. It’s Mental and Emotional Abuse! Those are some sick, twisted individuals!!
Yours and your children’s mental and emotional well-being is far more important thank anyone else’s opinion!!! If someone thinks you are a Villain for protecting your children… then that’s a Them Problem, NOT a you problem.
Keep protecting yourself and your babies! That’s what a Mother is Supposed to do!! Don’t let Anyone guilt you into going against your gut instinct.
P.S.
I would NOT attend nor would I allow my children to attend any of their funerals, either! They were not good people in life… and they won’t be in death.
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Have the members who are sick apologized and tried to make it right? If not…they’ve made their choice. I’m all for mending fences if both sides are trying, but when it’s just one side, nothing is going to change.
If they treat you and your marriage like crap when they’re healthy they shouldn’t expect you to come running when they’re sick. So I’d say “me and our children will not reconsider and if I must be the “villain” so be it, but I’m not fake. I don’t like y’all and y’all don’t like me. I will not be coming to your side just because your sick since you didn’t want me around when you were healthy. My kids are an extension of me, if you can’t respect me I can’t trust you to respect them. I also don’t want your bitterness rubbing off on them and persuading their behavior.”
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Depends on the age of the children. My partners sister doesn’t like me I don’t go around the family much because I hate drama. I let them go visit with their dad. I don’t have to be there but I know he isn’t going to tolerate any foolishness in relation to our children. They were about 10 - 11yo when I started pulling away from the drama.
NO NO NO NO ALSO HELLLLLL NO!! You need to be strong in this and keep your kids away from that mental anguish.
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Nope. Toxic is toxic. Idc what’s going on or what deaths have occurred, your kids are better off without the nonsense. If they don’t respect you and your relationship THAT CREATED those babies… they don’t deserve to be around them.
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Toxic is toxic. If they are the type of people to partake in that behaviour, who knows what other behaviour they will engage in and most likely encourage your children in.
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Nope, continue to be the cycle breaker that you are and keep your kids safe and away from toxic folks, family or not. Toxic is toxic.
They are extremely toxic and you don’t owe them anything. Your not obligated to allow toxic people near you or your family, family or not that behavior is inexcusable and their is no excuse to treat anyone how they have been treating you. You have every right to cut ties with them and if your husband is understanding then cut them out of your life. What is that teaching the kids. It’s teaching them that it’s ok to treat others that way. No absolutely not you and your family do you guys and if they actually apologize in a meaningful way and stop the behavior then maybe consider them back in your life but it sounds like they are not going to change. Protect you and your family you don’t need that and the kids don’t need that either. They want to know your kids so badly that is on them, you can’t treat others poorly and expect to get what you want. So sorry you have to deal with such toxicity even more sad it’s family. Hey their loss they pushed you away and they are not worth your time or effort. Water off a ducks ass. Move forward and be the happy family you were meant to be minus the toxicity!
It’s not you keeping them from your kids when they are making the choice to cross boundaries. If they try and play it like that - If you would treat me respectfully I would let my kids around you, but you’ve given me no reason to believe you’ll suddenly change in your treatment of me.
They will probably continue their rudness with your kids. But you could be the better person and give it a trial run for the kids. If they really want the kids to see them they won’t be badmouthing during visit if they do then they don’t go bk either way u will be the better person 
good luck for the kids sake
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Nope. They can’t see the children if they don’t respect the child’s mother and wish her dead. How do u love a child properly if u want their mother dead
You should never trust your kids to someone who disrespect you, doesn’t like you and absolutely hate you, they can turn all that as energy to your kids .
Your feeling doesn’t have to change just because they are sick , they are getting what they deserve.
Being sick / about to die doesn’t change who you were, and will not turn you a angel .
So nahhhh !!! Start away from them
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Is this a legit question? No, f!@k them
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I have been there and believe me keep away they will drag you down every chance they get and turn your kids against you
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Nope. . Wether they are family or not. Toxic is Toxic it isn’t going to change. It’s bad for you and your children… is be moving farther away from them…
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You dont need to feel bad for people who have no shame to disrespect you and treat you cruelly. If they cant be civil or make ammends they shouldnt be around the kids, they will poison them against you and be a bad influence no matter what time they have left. That is on them to take that regret to the grave, not you.
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No, if they don’t like you most likely they will poison the kids.
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Don’t feel bad if they wanted to see your children they would show their mother basic respect at the least and coexist for their son/brothers sake and their grandchildren/ nieces and nephews.
Personally I feel like why scurry for a connection in sickness when they didn’t want to play nice in health.
Maybe they should act like decent adults and not hood rats.
I mean as adults who seriously conducts themselves in that manner?The lack of maturity is pretty ridiculous.
If people want to make YOU the villain for protecting your children, yourself, and your peace from people that don’t care enough to show their mother/you respect then so be it. Let them.
Threatening your life, harassing your family, disturbing the peace, wishing you all dead, not forgivable.
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Absofuckinglutely not. Not in the exact situation, but similar. And you, nor do your kids need that negative BS…
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They sound like family domestic violence perpetrators. They are threatening to inflict violence on you, even if it’s under the guise of a joke. That is psychological abuse. Wishing you were dead emotional abuse, that is a term used to corrode a persons self worth.
They also harass you by repeatedly sending letters & so forth.
You are completely in your right to say no if it keeps you & your kids physically & psychologically safe.
You have a right to feel safe no matter if they are family or not
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Your family title does not grant you access to our children. If you are an awful human our children are kept away (as are we), bloodlines and illness don’t change that 
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Absolutely not! They made their bed, now let them lie in it! Just because a family member is sick doesn’t mean they will change their ways. Threatening someone is never okay and is actually a criminal offence, I would not want that kind of behaviour around my children whether it was a “joke” or not.
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sorry to put it so blunt but they have reaped what they sowed can you really trust what they may say when you aren’t around. Where has your husband been through all of this he should have told off his family years ago
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No. They have abused you this long. Now they’re in their death beds asking for pity? No. That’s not your problem. And keep your kids away from that toxicity. Its not your responsibility or theirs (your children’s). That’s their loss. Not yours.
You did well mama. Keep protecting yourself and your children. Let God deal with them.
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Heck no.
I’m about to marry into this kind of situation and I told my fiancé I don’t want our kids around his family period.
Stick to your guns an absolute no,do not cave in if you don’t trust someone never mind several people especially family stick with your instincts 
X
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What u do to them u leaving that out
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No!
These people are dangerous to the mental and physical health of you and your children.
If you didn’t know these people and met them in the local park, you would steer your children away…
Sorry for hubby and Dad. 
Perhaps have them actually join you at a childrens playground🤷♀️
You can pack up your picnic and leave anytime….
.
I made the choice to not allow my dad and his wife around my children. They saw them for a brief time in 11 years. They are mentally abusive and tell my kids things that should not be said. My dad died recently and I’m ok with my decision. You have to do what’s ok for your children. They sound like they will bring more harm than necessary. Stay strong for your family. 
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Issues can me resolved until they can’t. So, have you talked to your husband about this, if so how does he feel about it? That would be my first question. Then, after that, not sure which family members were being intolerant, surely not ALL of them! Let him take the lead. If yall decide to go forward with establishing a relationship,
Be sure that the family knows that ANY cross talk, or disrespectful behavior or talk will not be tolerated. Hard
To say more without more info. Good Luck in whatever y’all decide to doZ
Continue to keep your kids away from them. They are very toxic and your kids shouldn’t be around people who threaten their mom!
Nope! Fuck that , protect your peace
Heck no! They are toxic (potentially dangerous) and your children do not need to be around that. You have done absolutely right
Do NOT let them make you feel bad for protecting your children.
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fuck that. keep those babies protected from that toxicity.
The circumstances changed. Not the people. And you might be tired of hearing it but you’re the parent so you take that instead of sending your kids around it. This decision is simple.
No. I wouldn’t. In my mind, family doesn’t treat you like that. Plus for how toxic they are, you don’t want your kids around that. Plus if they do threaten you, even “joking,” you should have a restraining order. Not saying you have to, but most people definitely would. I would have probably told them off and blocked them by now.
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If they have limited time left they can only blame themselves for the lack of relationship. Your kids are not missing out on anything seriously, the way I see it is do I want my kids to think and act like these types of people? No? Then they don’t need to be in my kids life, blood or not. Kane killed able I’m just saying, Kin doesn’t make family. We have no choice in what family we are born into the only choice we have is weather we let those people pass on their generational curses or if we are going to stop them. Your kids do not need to know anyone that threatened the life of their mother. If they cared about those kids they would never even “joke” about the topic. Abusive people will emotionally manipulate you into feeling like the bad guy. You are not. I don’t care if they are dying, not your fault they regret their poor life choices, it doesn’t sound like they learned their lessons in any sort of way though if they are putting the blame on you for the consequences of their own actions. Tell them to get therapy and then block them for the rest of your life, also get your husband into therapy, chances are he’s been manipulated and gaslit by these people his entire life and he doesn’t even know their behavior was abusive and toxic.
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Okay you said all that then you said “jokingly” so sound like they have a different sense of humor… Keeping your kids from their grandparents is just going to hurt the children. As long as they love the children and are good to them then you keeping them away is awful.
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Are they abusive towards the children, if not then there is no need to keep the children away from them. Don’t involve them into adult problems. I’m sure you have done something somewhere. No one is perfect. In my experience there is a trigger somewhere.
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Boundaries are boundaries. Don’t let them manipulate amd guilt you into being involved w kids. I’m sure you don’t want your children to see how you are treated or hear them say things.
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I would keep them far away from those hateful people.
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I wouldn’t being taking any children near them. Children should never be around that kind of hatred
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Toxic is Toxic…good riddens
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My ex mill and sill would tell my son I didn’t want him n I was not comming back when he visited them. Absolutely protect your children
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Keep your babies away from them! They’re calling you a villain because they don’t want to accept the blame. I just don’t understand why you & your husband hasn’t cut off all contact.
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No…your kids are entitled to a relationship with all family… Stop owning them
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Nope because if that’s what it takes for them to see the error of their ways they still aren’t good people and either way to behave that way about someone isn’t good for you kids to be around
Nah. They don’t deserve it. Kids don’t really know them anyway. If someone is sick and isn’t going to be around much longer then they should have thought about thar before being bullies!
Toxic is toxic! Doesn’t matter if it’s family or not their loss
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I wouldn’t let those people around my children. We need to protect our kids from toxic people, a title means nothing. No respect for the parents, then no relationship with their children.
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Nope I wouldn’t what’s toxic for u is toxic for ur kids
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No, don’t reconsider it, them people made a choice to be this way, let them live and die with their poor choices
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Nope. NOONE has to like me but they WILL respect me and if they can’t do that than they won’t be seeing any child of mine.
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I would not let them have any kind of bisits
No don’t need to be around them ever
They should have used the time they did have to act appropriately toward the mother if their grandchildren. Now they want to be nice bevause their time is running out, f*** them!
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Blood doesn’t mean family, cut out the people who can’t respect you. Kids don’t need toxic people in their lives. You’re protecting them from immaturity and grown up problems. That’s what moms do.
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No protect your kids from his toxic family, sounds like he supports you so do what is best for your little family, who knows what kind of toxic poison they might try filling your babies heads with if they are are so openly toxic and negative toward you
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Nope, not tell they learn to be adults, people that hate each other can be in the same space it’s called being an adult, and if they can’t be an adult then why should u bring ur kids into that mess?
Sounds as though they are now trying to use guilt manipulation to get what they want, they have not changed their toxic behaviour. Stick to your guns/gut instinct, don’t let their own guilt sway you, god luck mumma
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No!! Your kids don’t need to be subjected to toxicity just because they’re ‘family’.
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I went through the same thing. I never kept my kids from seeing the family. My kids decided to stop going when they realized they were not kind people. They hated me till the grave for absolutely no reason.
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They sound unstable and strange I’d stay away
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Get advice from a solicitor
Oh my God!!! Why do these people hate you??? You say its a lot of them . What could make a whole group of people dislike you to a point that they joke about killing you? And I would absolutely not allow my children anywhere near them!
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Nope they don’t deserve to know your kids. They can’t love their mother or at least be polite they have no respect that’s on them.
Not a chance would I allow my kids near those people. If they can threaten me and stuff what the hell can they say to my kids. Do what’s best for them and sod what people say. Are you and your husband on the same page with all of this? Toxic people cause drama and in the end hurt everyone and your kids don’t deserve that. They don’t need to hear how negative they are towards you.
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