It sounds like we share the same “mother”… I’m so sorry you’re going through this, to keep your sanity and peace of mind, you should definitely cut off communication with her and the family. My life has never been better since I did it, you won’t regret it 
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I took my biological mother off my contacts and out of my life. Blocked her from calling and messaging me too. She is nothing but a narcissist. She has always been the way she was and my life is less stress now.
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She’s gotta go. That is heartbreaking!!
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Stay away From family that is like this. You will feel much better.
Them are fighting words……you have more restraint than I ever could. I cut my “mom” out of my life for over 3 years because shit went down. It wasn’t even over how she treated my kids. If anything like that ever came out of someone’s mouth about my kids oooooh boy!!! You are a strong mama. Do what you feel is best
Drop the rope. Block her email, social media and phone number. Any mail sent, return to sender. Go full mama bear.
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Just because someone gave birth to you doesn’t mean you have to have them in your life. This woman is toxic, Don’t play any mind to what she says about you. Live your life happy & when your kids get older explain to them why you did what you did
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I would feel exactly the same… I would never talk to her again if she spoke about my children like that … especially if she said that shit directly to my children… protect ur children by staying away… hopefully one day she will wake up and realise she is a total bitch and rectify the damage she has caused.
So petty 
She gave birth to you , raised you & thinks she can act like that BS . Just cut her off & rest of family now .Just be there for your immediate love ones , Be strong good luck 
God will prevail 
Whoa…what she said about your child? And the lies about you? Grieve the loss and stay away.
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Sometimes you just need to do what is best for yourself and your family
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Yes you need to cut your mother out of your life. She is toxic. If for no other reason than to protect your children from her viciousness. If family wants to believe her, cut them out too.
I feel like you have no choice but to cut her out FOREVER! THAT IS SO UNCALLED FOR WHAT SHE SAID!!
I couldnt deal with that. Thats toxic.
Absolutely, keep her out of your life and away from your son. DNA doesn’t matter if they are abusive and destructive!
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I cut my mom out of my life but I let her see my kids every now and then…when I was caring for my grandmother (her mom) she had fallen and broke her hip due to her declined health she would not have survived surgery…I made the choice alone to bring her home on hospice where for 10 days (also while caring for my teen and newborn) sat at her bedside…gave her meds around the clock until she passed…the first words out of her mouth after I laid her in the ground was…where’s the$ when I explained what was in the will and that my siblings and her were cut out…my mother told me that I purposely killed my grandmother for the money…I was very close with my grandmother she was my best friend…I wanted her not the $$…so yes I would cut ties with your mother she will only continue to hurt you…it was the best thing I did for my physical and mental health…
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Unfortunately we sometimes have sick and twisted family members mind you I don’t think they get there on their own but I do think that they choose a path your mother at this time’s path is damaging to your family and you toxic with God’s help a lot of prayer and maybe a lot of counseling you might be able to reach some kind of peace with yourself at least but she does not belong anywhere near your disabled child or you at this time in my humble opinion I’m all about restoring family’s but when they’re toxic and can do harm stay away!
Sometimes you need to set boundaries, to protect yourself and your family. Toxic is toxic, don’t let her drag you down and hurt you. Talking about you, being negative…she isn’t being supportive. Do what you have to do for your peace and happiness…
I haven’t spoken to my mother in 6 months as well. It hurts every once in awhile but my life has been so much happier since I have. My story is very similar to yours and let me tell you, you will be happier without her and anyone that chooses to believe her.
I haven’t talked to my mother in almost a year. Growing up me and my brother were very aware the middle child was moms favorite child. Still to this this she is her favorite. She still lives with her even tho she’s 40 years old married and has 5 kids. My mother always made sure her favorite was taken care of and happy and continues to do it now along with her children. I have 3 children and she’s not been there for me or them. Anytime she would come around my mental health would suffer tremendously because she’s never supportive, happy, or there for me. I’m stable married and we take care of our kids our self. I told her so many times I just wanted her to be their grandma like she’s supposed to. But she never would. She wouldn’t come visit them or spend time with them and it was hurting my kids. I thought me putting my issues with her aside and my mental health aside I was doing what was right for my kids. But then I started to see how it was hurting them that she was always there for her other grandkids but hardly ever there for my kids. They were hurt and still don’t understand why she can’t be happy for me and supportive and be there for us as a grandmother/mother should be. After watching my kids hurt and me being hurt so many times I had to make the choice for myself and my family to just cut ties. My mental health is much better and my kids don’t get their feelings hurt anymore. They know she just don’t know how to be a supportive grandmother and it’s nothing that we did but we don’t have to be treated like crap. Its better for us this way. My kids are older though my oldest is 19 then 14 and my son is 8. My older girls get it completely. My son knows why we don’t see her but he does wonder why she just can’t be a grandmother but he also doesn’t want his sisters and mom hurt and he knows we would all hurt before because of the way she is. It’s a hard situation but in my case we are better for it this way. When I finally stood up for myself and my family and put my mental health first everything got much better. In the future if she can be a supportive grandmother I will revisit the issue for my kids however she’s hurt me to much I could never have a healthy relationship with her again.
My mom is the same and I cut her off about a year ago. Honestly it was such a good decision for my mental health. She would manipulate me into blowing up by purposely pushing my buttons and then use the fact that I blew up to make it look like I was the one who was crazy. Who wouldn’t blow up if someone called them stupid and said they faked a surgery? Then anyone that didn’t side with her, she would go out of her way to find (or make up) a different reason why they should ice me out until I talked to her. I’m just over it. Decided anyone that doesn’t want to talk to me because I don’t talk to her obviously doesn’t really love me and deserves no part in my life.
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Don’t ignore your moma she’s sick someone else has hurt her or she wouldn’t be this way, mabey her parents, not making excuses just saying when you’re moma is gone from this earth an you can never say another word to her it will hurt you so deeply, write her a letter an tell her what she is doing to hurt your heart, you can only try, an do lots lots of praying, maybe that will help I’m so sorry you’re going threw this she’s hurting inside about something
Look girl, you do what you gotta do. If she’s toxic cut that shit off.
Your baby doesn’t need that negativity from her and if she’s this bad and he’s only 3, imagine what it’s going to be like once he’s older.
I had to cut my mom out of my life for two years because of her behavior at the time. She was bipolar and didn’t always have her meds.
She loved my kids to pieces, but I was another story. She lied to people telling them she took care of my kids which was a bold faced lie, and to this day I’m not comfortable around her side of the family because of it. I only talk to one of my aunt’s and that’s like once a year if that.
The last straw for me before I cut her out was she tried to punch me in the face in front of my kids. I didn’t even yell in front of my kids.
She tried to punch me because she couldn’t hear the tv over me cooking and my kids playing. So I suggested she go upstairs so she could. My father came in just in time to grab her arm and she hit him in the back of his head with the remote control. That was it for me and him. We lived in Myrtle Beach at the time. We moved back to PA without her.
We eventually did overcome the madness and glady we had a relationship before she passed.
Long story short, you do what you gotta do for your kids. If that mean cutting her out, you do it! It’ll be up to her to change her ways. Hold her responsible for her actions! Be blunt and tell her exactly what doesn’t fly in your home. If she doesn’t change, she is actively choosing not to be in your child’s life. That’s on her, not you.
Oh God cut cut cut the cord yourself! Don’t be like me and give chance after chance after chance. Because if you have kids now or will later guess who’s first in line to burn you because that’s her character? Your own mother. My birth mother won that over. She begged me to leave him. Then 3 months later supported his every move in winning my kids as primary. CUT HER. toxic blood happens. But don’t go through what so many women do because of their birth mothers being shitty
Cut her off your doing the right thing I haven’t spoken to my mother over 11 years best decision for me and kids
Cut her off! All family isn’t good family
Anyone who called my child a fucking retard autistic or not would NEVER see me or my child again family or not. There’s just some things you don’t say about people let alone kids and that’s definitely one of them.
Cut that bitch off immediately!
Theirs nothing wrong with cutting toxic people out of your life family or not. At some point you need to think about yourself and your well being cause no one will be their for you more than you. If she changes theirs nothing wrong with rekindling the relationship afterwards
By the sounds of it neither you nor your son need it, people put alot of emphasis on family and how things should be but if they’re not that way for you then cut your losses . I had a similar situation a few years ago. Eventually she will realise how awful she’s been and if she’s appropriate then, maybe re evaluate having her back in your life but in the mean time just ignore her and look after urself and your son. Hope you’re OK x
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People are people first despite their relationship to you. You wouldn’t tolerate this from a friend so absolutely do not tolerate this from your Mom. I haven’t spoken to mine for almost 9 years for similar reasons and I genuinely do not feel bad about it.
Toxic is toxic and the best thing to do is break the cycle and live your best life. Xx
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Think of how you would feel if you were the child, and your son was the parent and someone talked like that about you. Regardless if you knew or not, I’d (like to) believe that he would stand up for you and remove that hurtful person from your lives.
She clearly has opinions and behaviors that don’t appear to be changing anytime soon.
Blood isn’t always thicker than water.
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I’m so sorry you are going through this . A family should
Be love and support, we all have our little ticks but no one should talk to a child in that manner. I definitely don’t agree and am heart broken to learn your about mom’s
Heartless action and mean words toward your son. I would not have her around my
Kids until she would get help, I would make that very clear to her. If she is serious and knows what she is losing, she will get the help she needs .
My heart goes out to you . Keep strong 
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If you can truly forgive her in your heart (for your own well-being), let her know you forgive her and move on without her. It’s a hard thing to do and even harder saying out loud to the other person. Forgiveness and acceptance are two different things and it frees your heart from whatever guilt you may feel down the road.
Your mother will die one day, your siblings will be angry and try to put a guilt trip on you and you will be at peace knowing you made your peace. I’m sorry your going through this…Best of luck!
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It’s very sad and gross in parallel; she clearly needs help; it’s so hard to just turn away and she is your mom ; I would just reach out to say that you love her as she gave you life but unfortunately you are unable to have liars and children’s abusers part of your life and that in your view she needs medical help and she will not be part of your life until she is getting the help that she needs.
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Don’t worry, my mother hated me, I had two strikes against me; 1(I am make). 2(I caused unmentionable pain and suffering during her pregnancy due to the rh incompatibility). So she caused me to suffer unmentionable retributions.
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No, not wrong. Keep away but keep praying for her.
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No! You are not wrong to feel this way, and yes in my opinion she needs to be cut out. No one deserves to be treated like that, especially from someone who is supposed to love them so much!
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OMG i am so so sorry 
as a mom I can 1000% understand why you feel the way you do! It is hurtful and I would certainly keep my distance also in your shoes
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Definitely not wrong to feel that way. She doesn’t get to treat you or your child any way she wants just because she is your mother. You are grown…and your child is yours, not hers. Don’t tolerate her mistreatment of your or your child, even though she needs mental help.
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You are not wrong. My sister does the same thing and I haven’t talked to her in 4 years. My sister will not change all. We try to get my sister help but she wouldn’t take our help. I have a son and he doesn’t want anything to do with her at all. Your children come first
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I def wouldn’t have her around my kid with that attitude.
However… I had a semi similar situation with my mom. It was super hard to talk or be around her and def trying sometimes on my mental health… I def cut her out of my life and I was I didn’t cause now she is gone and sometimes I wish I could talk to her. Maybe don’t cut her out completely and talk with her every now and again, try and remember she isn’t well and don’t take her words seriously. It’s hard being the bigger person especially the person who raised you, and someone you love so much can get under your skin more than other people, but you can do it! Hang in there!!
Congratulations on being the mum to your gorgeous son that your mum couldn’t be to you. Could part of her problem be that she’s jealous of the close,caring and nurturing relationship you have with him. It’s tough being a mum to an autistic child. He has to be and has been your focus. For your mental health and the well being of your son you have to accept that she’s no longer part of your lives. Don’t feel guilty instead enjoy the loving relationship you have with your son. I, for one, am full of admiration for you. 
I would cut her out especially because of your son. He is non verbal but would know full well the vile vibe from her. This is heartbreaking. Your family will be better off without her. You cannot accept that for your son and it’s your duty of care to make sure that type of behaviour isn’t inflicted on him again. X
If anyone talked about my daughter like that I’d be beating some ass mother or not. Get away from her and don’t look back until she gets her self right she don’t need to be anywhere near you or your kids. I’d also tell her where to stick it saying that about your child.
I have a non verbal autistic grandson that lives with me i love my baby to the moon an back a trillion times that got me boiling mad for a mother/grandmother to say thst about him autistic kids are so lovable an adorable they may not speak but they communicate differently an for a grandmother to call him that omg cut her out of your babies life he doesnt need that from anyone especially a person whos suppose to love an nurture them mental issues or not thats an excuse let her be gone i would in a heartbeat an i hope karma doesnt hit her to hard
As I do believe she is absolutely in the wrong for the things ashe has said some to you and your son. At the end of the day you may regret keeping her completely out of your life. My mom passed away when a 26 now 41. It was very sudden. Til this day it puts my mind an heart at ease knowing was my best friend and I have no regrets with her. I’m not saying at all to try be best friends with her. Just maybe social. Maybe a phone call every once in while. I truly hope you figure this horrible situation out. Prayers
Walk away. She is not going to support you, or your children in any way. She will continue to degrade you. I am sorry you have to go through this, and I know it is heartbreaking, but you have to take care of you and your children first.
You are definitely not in the wrong. I can relate in this situation too. I haven’t seen my mom since I was a teenager because she chose to do drugs instead of taking care of her children which it’s just me and my sister. My dad did drugs but he’s been clean for years now and he’s been trying to be a part of my life and my sister life. Apparently my mom said she doesn’t take drugs anymore but never made an effort to see her kids 
My mom tells everyone that’s she’s a “good mom” and “we’re besties” but behind closed doors she verbally and occasionally physically abused me which I still suffer from childhood trauma. I’m not actually diagnosed but I still feel I have some type of anxiety or PTSD. She randomly text me from time to time and I just basically ignore her because I feel like it’s not worth it. She did it to herself. Half my life my grandparents raised me and my sister but obviously there’s a generation issue between us but I still love them. As of today I’m married and my husband and I just bought a house which we want to start a family. For the longest time I was afraid to have children because of what I dealt with. It will be a new experience for us which I promise myself that I will do everything for my future kids and they will always come first. I don’t want a repeat of what happened to me when I was a child. I learned that you can’t help people that can’t help themselves. My mom was good at running away and lying. You’re not alone and make sure you do everything for your beautiful son. He’s your treasure 
Sweet mom…your first priority is to your children to keep them safe. Your mother’s approach is abusive to him. Youre doing the right thing. Be strong and know that God is blessing your family.
You are not wrong how a grandmother could be so cruel is beyond me I am a grandmother of two a girl and a boy and I will do anything for them and if anyone ever talk to either of them that way I will be doing serious jail time. Protect your baby from anyone that mistreats them even their own grandmother.
If she loves you she would never speak about ur child that way. My kids come before anyone and mom or not I’d drop her. Maybe when she grows up and gets help you can try again until then I say good riddance
Coming from the other side…I’m embarrassed to say, I had some of these issues with my own daughter. Not against my grandkids, but against her, I was suffering with some mental issues, we were all living together and she just got married and brought a house and wasn’t taking me with them. I got very angry and said things I really didn’t mean but still they weren’t good things! I finally got the help I needed and, just recently she has allowed me to have contact with my grandkids! And she’s having my 4th granddaughter today! It was a long 2 yrs but I got help and I am grateful that she is giving me another chance! Its a hard thing letting ur children grow up and not having to be there for them u make them ur world and forget how to just take care of urself. She just grew up and said thanks, now go and take care of urself…it was a hard thing for me to do as I had made my world revolve around her and my grandkids.
Dump the toxic. She doesn’t act like your mother. Clearly doesn’t care about you or your kid. That’s pretty shitty but it ends now or it just becomes recurring heartache. And you don’t want her getting to your sons self esteem and emotions. Maybe she’s on heroin?
Stay away from her. You need to protect your child. If you want type of relationship, put in boundaries like see her once a month at a restaurant without your son. Make it clear that she will not speak in a negative tone or say hurtful things to your child.
Walk away and save yourself and your son. Toxic relationships aren’t good for anyone. You can build your own nontoxic “family”.
Definitely cut her off. You don’t need that negativity in your life and especially not your son’s. Do what’s best for your mental health and basically that’s just cutting ties with your mother. Hope this helps.
I know how hard it is for mother’s with an autistic child. People don’t understand your sacrifice they just don’t get it. As for your mother telling lies about you, I would cut her off until she apologizes and rectify that story telling. You have it rough as it is you don’t need unnecessary drama.
I have not read any comments here just your story and my advice is let her go. Your child and your mental health comes first. You get very destructive people on Earth and nothing prevents them from becoming parents unfortunately. You sound like a lovely person. She will destroy your soul and that of your child. Let her go and move on.
I cut mine and it was the best decision ever. She never accepted my family and for what she did to the rest of the family was not acceptable. protect yourself and your family, they are your top priority.
Help ur mom like she did when u were a child !!! She raised u in thick n thin now its ur time to revert …shr s old she s ill she needs some one n what better thn own child …u love your child , obviuosly your mother loves you also …but due to her mental health may be she s doing such things…get her some doctor give her love n time …
We can’t choose our family. This bs notion that you have to keep horrible family members in your life -simply- because they’re family is a relic of the past. If the relationship is abusive (in this case that’s emotional abuse) and they refuse to get help
Nope. BYE
Best thing I did regarding my relationship with my parents was to realize that they are people, just like me. When we are babies, they are gods to us, especially as our lives depend on them, literally. I think that, as we grow up, we still grant them that god-like beingness. So, when I realized that they were just doing the best they could at the time, it made them human and put a new, different, and realistic perspective on them. So, she’s doing the best she can, and it’s up to you to do the best YOU can, for yourself and those around you. She is not going to change, so what is the best you can do for yourself and those around you that is healthy? Worth repeating to yourself: She’s doing the best she can. She’s not going to change. What’s the best I can do for myself and others to keep us healthy and whole?
You are not wrong. It doesn’t matter if she is your mother she is a toxic person and it sounds like she shouldn’t be anywhere near your child. Cut her off. You will be better off.
No one would say something like that about my kid and get away with it. A true Mom and Grandma sure wouldn’t. A real Mom has unconditional love.
No you do whats in tbe best interest of your childten thats your job is to protect your children someone being that hateful calling her grandchildren names doesnt deserve to be in their life its hard cuz its your mom but she isnt acting like a loving mother or grandmom cut her lose
Sometimes family members are too close. Certain subjects should be off limits, such as discussing your child. Keep toxic people away from him. Your family members probably don’t believe most of what your mother says anyway. I had my son late in life. My husband walked out on his mother as early as he could, due to her toxicity. He warned me, and I tried to be gracious and it was impossible. I sent her a photo of my newborn son. She declared he was a “Mongolian idiot”. That was my last contact with her and she never saw our son. He was a cute child and highly intelligent and is a good, loving person who got his doctorate . Had he been exposed to her in any way, it would have damaged him. So I speak from experience. Walk away from them.
She should cut her mother out of her life & her vulnerable child’s life, they don’t need that. Her mother refused to deal with her issues & is projecting onto her as if a movie screen.
Sometimes you have to love family from a distance for your own peace of mind!!
I would keep my distance as well. People who have to spread rumors for attention,because you did not bend to their will have a hard time dealing with rejection or anyone else’s perspective.
I have an autistic son and also get frustrated when they have not educated themselves on it and feel they have the right to be snarky about what they can do or what they cannot do. As a parent I do my best not to swallow their ignorance while choosing the tools that help someone who is on the spectrum.
That is so sad. Obviously she has mental issues because it’s not natural for a grandmother to treat her grandkids like that. I’d have a very stern talk with her, tell her how much her words hurt you & your son, & tell her straight up that this is the last chance to make make it better. If she’s sincerely sorry, give her the chance to try again so that you never feel guilty should something happen to her. I was very close to my mother & we never had issues but after she suddenly passed away, there’s times that I look back with regret & wish that I could go back & be kinder to her, more patient, & spent more time with her. I hope you both can repair your relationship.
I once got the best advice I have ever got on this very subject…My middle son who is grown with his own children said to me mom if this was a perfect stranger would you allowed them to treat you or your kids or grandkids in complete disrespectful way and cause so much pain and toxicity in your life? I SAID NO. He said why would not expect the same from your own relatives they should love you and respect you right? I cut a lot of toxic ppl out of my life that year and have never looked back…Just bc they are related to us it doesn’t make their behavior ok…
I would not allow her to talk to my children that way. The only way she would ever be around my children again. Is if she got help and understood that she is never to speak to my child like that ever again. Stand your ground. You are 100% right. Protect your babies.
She sounds like a nasty, toxic POS and you should absolutely cut her from your life. Mental health issues or no, it doesn’t excuse her behaviour. Your son needs support and understanding, not the hideousness she’s spouting xx
your poor son , mental health or not , its never ok to speak about a child , especially your grandchild like that …its hard to cut yourself off from blood , especially parents but judt on the basis of how she referred to your child would be enough for me to cut her off .
This is a one side of a relationship view and it’s your side…… it takes 2 in relationship! You say your mother is calling your son a name without hearing her say it; it’s hearsay! Somethings not right here!!
Your child comes first period!!! Unless she gets help keep that little one the hell away from her !!
Sounds like she’s a narcissist. You can’t change her. Break your ties with her. She’ll only continue to hurt you and your son.
Just recently cut mine out because she’s been toxic since birth. I have so much weight lifted off of me
You aren’t wrong to feel that way…distancing yourself is a healthy choice for you and your kids…keep in touch by phone
Her mind is ill. Apparently she is not seeking treatment. You wouldn’t let your child around a person with physical illness that could harm them. Mental health, or lack of, can be far more dangerous to your child than a physical illness.
Never feel bad about not speaking to someone who does you mental or physical harm. Doesn’t matter who they are. Sometimes we have to not speak to family and that is ok.
Cut that toxic crap - seriously for your own mental health and for your child’s!
YES! Stay away from her. You and your son don’t need any of the hate and vitriol that she puts out. Cut ties and enjoy your life.
You have a right to cut ties with anyone who is toxic.
Remove her from your life. No grandma should ever say this about their child and grand child. You shouldn’t feel bad about this either. Sadly she’ll never change either
Take care of your son, mom’s not going to change. It may be hard, but you need to cut ties with her.
You are so right to keep her away from you and your family, don’t fell guilty about it.
Stay away from her. She will not change unfortunately. You are not doing anything wrong. You need peace and love not such a toxic person around your family. Sad but necessary for your well-being.
The best way is to just Pray for her and your family, let the LORD take care of it. Just Pray and believe, you will find peace with in yourself to. MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU AND YOURS! PRAYERS.
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It sounds like she is in need of many prayers! She seems to have a real problem!
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She sounds vile. Ditch her u dont need that in your life. A mother lying about her own child is a betrayal.
Just cuz they’re family don’t mean you need to keep them in your life. I learned this the hard way.
Your mother is I’ll. Do not cut her out of your life. Just pray she gets help.
She is toxic, she is harming you and your child, cut her loose. It infuriates me that there seems to be some unwritten code that if you share blood then you must always maintain a relationship even when the other person continually does things that you would NEVER tolerate from anyone else. These days we all have so much hard stuff to deal with daily- someone who is supposed to love and care for you but instead does irrevocable harm deserves nothing from you. I know it is hard to do but really, is tolerating it really any easier?
If she wasn’t your mother , would you stay friends with this person… then you have your answer
You are not in the wrong at all. Cut her out and you will shortly notice how much happier you are mentally. I had to cut my mother out of my life permanently recently and I have actually came out of a good deal of my depression. Your mother does not deserve to be around your sweet baby after saying those terrible things and you do not deserve to have a mother like that.
you are going to miss her big time. if she has sdome mental problems getr help
She is apparently not well. But don’t her ruin your life
Keep yourself and your kids away from her and move on