Should I cut my sister off or forgive her?

Can I trust this person again? A few weeks back, my two year old daughter and I were invited on a trip up north by my mom for a “girls trip.” My three sisters went along, and one of them drove separately, ending up secretly bringing their boyfriend along. So I guess my other sister was mad about that because she was told by my mom, “no boys allowed,” so she thought she couldn’t bring her husband and son. So she told me how mad and hurt she was with my mom and how she wanted to leave and never speak to my mom again. (I know it’s childish) she’s like 32, by the way. Anyways, after her ranting, my mom happened to come into the room and asked her if she was alright because she looked upset. And when my mom left, she accused me of secretly recording her talking about our mom with my phone. I honestly thought she lost her mind, and i very bluntly told her not to involve me and my daughter in any of her drama, that we were just there because we were invited, and I simply do not play that foolishness. She then got up and said something under her breath while walking away, and then I said, excuse me? And then she started yelling, saying that I was on my phone while she was talking to me, so I “must” of been recording her. And when my mom and other sisters heard us yelling back and forth, they ran into the room, and as soon as my mom got between us and while I was holding my baby (she was crying because of the yelling), she decided to threaten me that she wanted to beat me up and she said “put your baby down” I guess so she could watch her mom fight? Which I was not going to do because I know better than that, and I know my daughter doesn’t need to be anywhere near that foolishness. Anyways, after she picked this fight with me, I never spoke to her again. Fast forward to these days; she messaged me saying how sorry she was and that she misses me and my daughter. However, something in me doesn’t feel right about it, and I’m still in disbelief she even thought she could ever come at me like that. What do you guys think? Is family always family, so just let it go? Or keep this person far away from me? I don’t know.

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She sounds very toxic. And paranoid. We forgive to release the part of us that wants revenge. Revenge is drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die. We remember so that we can avoid that pain again. Like touching a hot stove. The pain is remembered so we are careful the next time.

We get to walk away from situations where someone is very abusive

In your case, you have the added complication of a baby. I would never see such a person again. To expose a child to that seems abusive to me. She did not care about the baby at all.

Just because you all related by blood does not necessarily make you family. Families are suppose to stick together with each other and not make threats towards one another. If you feel in your gut that something is off then go by it. You are not in the wrong not allowing your sister around yourself and your daughter. Stay strong mama.

Honestly, I’m kind of in the same situation as you. It’s been going on for 6 years…ever since she told me I wasn’t her sister, that her friends are more of a sister than I was. All because I left my ex because he was abusive. I was so hurt and I tried to forgive at that point but things have been strained since. I met someone amazing and we got engage but instead of being happy for us I was stealing her thunder bc she is getting married this year and her time. That was the turning point for me. She attacked me over messenger saying these things. It continued with her attacking me after asking how my sick nephew was. I have not talked to her since. I am torn. Mostly bc of my nephew. But she has not apologized for anything. I’m supposed to be in her wedding but she never invited me to join anything to do with it and accuses me of not caring. So I just stopped. Not responding, not telling her anything. I can’t have this toxicity in my life. It hurts tho, alot. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully you are able to come to some resolution. :two_hearts::two_hearts:

No contact, sadly. She sounds unbalanced in the extreme. Only SAFE family is safe.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I cut my sister off or forgive her?

All of u need to grow up and get over all the bullshit. U only get 1 mom and those are the only sister’s u will ever have! I wish I could fight with my sister again, but she died 2yrs ago. And now I’m losing my mom! If this was supposed to be girls only, then the one who brought husband and kid was dead wrong. 1 wknd not up ur man or kids ass ain’t gonna hurt anyone. Smh

She sounds mentally ill. Paranoia with the thinking she’s being recorded and sudden aggression.

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Move on with your life and don’t give her the time of day for a long time

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I have 3 sisters, we used to fight all the time when younger. Not so much as adu

I cut mine completely off! you’ll be better off without her it’s just gonna be one dramatic event after the other with her. Move on. She isnt necessary in your life.

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She ain’t been in your life, keep it that way🤷🏻‍♀️ imo toxic is toxic and that was toxic AF.

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Stay away. You’ll regret it later down the path if you don’t. Don’t be part of peoples toxic ways.

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I just started talking to my sister about 6 weeks ago for the first time in years and years. I am afraid l will get hurt again so l am still leaving my wall up, until l feel it is ok to let down. We all need to go up and realize that on some things we can agree to disagree. My kids have missed out her in there lives for almost of there lives. And they are now 32/34

Dont do it. She sounds like she has a mental illness that needs to be addressed. I have been struggling with my sister for over a decade now and I just finally cut her off. It honestly wasn’t worth the drama and heartache it cause me and my children. I’m done with mine for good and it took a lot to get their. My sister took it to far involving my kids. When it goes that far just know she doesnt care about you or your baby.

Toxic is toxic no matter who they are.

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I’d be honest and just say you still need space

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You do NOT need permission to remove toxic people from your life regardless of what their title is!

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Always follow your intuition…i would keep her away

Drop her like a hot potato. Family or not… Toxic is toxic.

I had a sis that I cut off because she turned to drugs. Years later she came back to the family because she was dying (liver shutting down). She lived a couple more years during which time she underwent liver transplant surgery. After surgery she was healthy and happy for one year. She was a wonderful little sis to me, wonderful mother and grandma. She begged for forgiveness and our family bonded and we became complete once again. Her body eventually rejected the liver and she died.
Don’t stop talking to your sis. Life is too short to have ill feelings. Don’t wait until serious issues arise.

What’s this got to do with nails, and why do people like to air their personal life on fb!

I would say give it a shot. My uncle refused to talk to my aunt for years and years and now they are talking again and making up for lost time. If something happens again then ya cut it off but it doesn’t hurt to try

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Nails please …Actually, “Nails To Die For”. 'Ya know, like why we signed up?

Forgive BUT be cautious. Let her know you will not be around drama. Best of luck

Anyone willing to physically fight in front of a child is toxic. You can love someone without entertaining their bs.

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I just buried my brother a few weeks ago. I didnt speak to him for 8 months. We had a huge fight and he did some crappy things to me. I regret not speaking to him tho. Tell her its ok and you love her, but you’ll have to from a distance for now. I regret NOT telling him that before he died. I’ll regret it and feel guilty forever.

Let her back in but keep her at a distance…

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Toxic is toxic… family or not…

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I wouldn’t let her anywhere near me or my kid. And mom shouldn’t of let the sister bring her boyfriend

I cut my younger sister off. After years of dealing with her drinking and paranoia, after our mom passed, I told her I was done and to stay out of my life.

I think you answered your own question tbh…“something in me still doesn’t feel right about it”.
I agree with another comment and just make it clear you still need your space.
Has she always behaved in this manner as an adult? Something to think about especially if you don’t want your daughter exposed to that vibe.

Can we normalize walking away from toxic family members? Just because they’re family doesn’t give them the right to treat you the way she did. Walk away, especially because she wanted to fight with a baby around and potentially put a baby in harms way. Yeah I’d walk away. And I have too, my own sister. We haven’t spoke in 8 years.

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Oh wow I must have the only family who have off days and do things we regret! I have got to fighting with my family and the next few hours be talking again! Idk I guess that’s just how close me and mine are

Family is not always family.

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If we stop putting emotions and labels on people like just because they are related to us by blood doesn’t mean we need to deal with their BS. Would you deal with that if it were a stranger in the grocery store? It’s not gonna stop that toxicity will happen again and again.

She’s toxic!!! You can forgive but not have to deal with her.

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Family can be toxic as well if you don’t feel comfortable than trust your gut always. Your sister needs some help.

Life is too short make up and carry on yall are family after all and sometimes family goes thur things that the next would never understand me losing a sibling :broken_heart::pensive: say make up and carry on

She will never change sadly. It might be something worse next time. She seems paranoid and angry.

Wtf? Thought this was a nail page?! :woman_shrugging:

She’s family. Give her another chance. Life is so short.

Tomorrow isn’t promised, accept it as growth for her giving you an apology. That’s your sister, sisters are showed unlimited chances. But honestly, you should have taken her outside so nobody was around children included and whooped her ass. Bet she think twice about taking to you like that in front of your daughter… but being the bigger person is also good lol. I hope you guys can save your relationship. Good luck!

Nope nothing worse than toxic family don’t go there

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Walk away and set that bridge on fire

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I wanna know what happened to the sister with the boyfriend kus she started it …and girl yes forgive but don’t forget

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Family is family and don’t wait till it’s too late. Try talking on the phone and going slow. I haven’t spoke to my sister in forever and I have tried. What I wouldn’t do to go back to the days when we spoke alot

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That shit petty af talk to yo sister

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I think you need to forgive her. You cant carry that bitterness with you. It might take several times for you to truely mean it, but eventually it will happen. BUT that doesnt mean you have to be “friends” with her. If you are at family functions and shes there, be cordial with her. It will never be the same, and thats alright. But if you want to message her, do it when your ready. Set boundries with her. And hey, a text message!? Really? You dont deserve that treatment family or not. And dont let family or others force you to talk to her or forgive her if you are not ready. But you will have to sometime. And that doesnt mean you have to tell her. You do what is best for you.

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Meet in a public venue without your children, and another adult witness to hear her out.

Forgive but don’t forget. Forgiveness can help you let go of frustration and hurt that you don’t need. But with that, take it slow. You don’t have to hang out with her and all but it will help to just let it go.

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Family is not always family . yes they say blood is thicker then water , but sometimes water is what’s best for you. That being said me & my sister are going threw a sorta thing rn as well . idk what imma do yet , but ive completely cut off my dad my brother & my brother wife . i miss my nieces & nephew dearly. But lile i always say they can lie to them about me hut when they turn 18 they will know the truth about me. ( my brother is a closest racist & i married a black woman ) he dont like her for her skin

If a complete stranger did this to you would you accept it? If not then all the more reason why someone who should be helping you protect your child from the world should not be given the chance to put these threats across again xx

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Do these things on your own timing; If you forgive too early it will give the impression that things can be done to you and you easily forgive.

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Trust your instinct i walked away from my familt 8 years ago dont miss them,but hear threw the grape vine all the drama going on. Glad I’m not part of it and can’t get blamed from any of it. Family have said i made a good choice getting out.

That’s up to you, yo. My sisters and I always work things out, and we’re all crazy. At the same time; I’ve cut off plenty of family members, my father included. I only talk to him on the holidays, and never much more than a hello. My relationship with my siblings is very different than that with most of our other family, though. We probably couldn’t really be separated by anything short of murder.

Nope not around my kid

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I’ve learned to love ppl. From a distance…i wish them well.but sometimes u got to cut ties with the drama.also atleast give her a 2nd chance.

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Love her from a distance. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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If she doesn’t have a history of behaving this way let it go. Only if it was a one time thing. If not then byebye

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This family business should have no place on FB omg people keep your private life of the internet :roll_eyes:

Know your worth, family or not.

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I mean if your gut tells you something is off then something usually is

Family is family. Maybe your sister was going through something at the time if you only cared enough to ask her.

If she’s never acted like this before, maybe she just had a lot on her mind that day, she was already upset. Sometimes we come out of character and we don’t mean it . Family is blood, family is forever . BUT given her a second chance, if it happens again I would love her from a distance … hope you guys can make up .

Walk away from anybody who is toxic, family or not. I walked away from my “brother”, whom beat the ever living crap out of me in front of my then 5 year old son, his son, 2 of my nieces, AND my mother. I’ve recently walked away from my own mother. Toxic is toxic regardless of who it is. It’s okay to live a peaceful life.

Let it go and move on. Keep her out of your life. My sister and I got into a physical altercation on the day of my fathers funeral (I was protecting my mom from her) and it was after the services thankfully but I still havent forgave her nor will I ever. And Im so glad I let go of her toxic self. Its okay to let go of toxic people family or not

Your sister sounds very immature, and no, family isn’t always family.

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Ur both wrong ur not kids stop acting like them ur adults sit ur ass down an talk it out

Because ur daughter is the one getting hurt

I think alcohol shouldn’t be in any of your future’s.

Give her a chance, but go slow.

Family isnt always everything. Ive found peace in cutting my siblings off. If its toxic, stay away from it

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My adult children treat each other like this too… we will leave town for holidays… that’s the time their crap bothers me the most . My children grew up
With lots of family and friends always around… I feel bad for them now.

You can forgive, you don’t have to forget. You can be civil and keep your distance. It’s entirely up to you and what’s best for you and your child.

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Maybe check to see if she was going through something. And you know what sometimes people mess up. The fact she came to you and apologised is good. Me and a sister had a fight years ago and didn’t talk for years and I missed her wedding. We did eventually make up but it’s been so long I can’t remember what the original fight was. We still argue occasionally but I make sure it ends with us talking. Most family fights are not worth losing each other over. (Yes somethings are but this is not one of them) my sister and I even got physical a few times. And I don’t hold it against her or anything. I understand you’re upset so take the time you need to get over it and then approach her.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I cut my sister off or forgive her?

Nah cut that bitch tf off

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I mean family is going to have disagreements but she took it a little far. Her issue was not really with you but with the sister that brought her boyfriend. She just happened to take it out on you. Are you ready to forgive her yet? If not then continue to keep your distance.

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We’ve done worse in our family. We’re still a family. Depends on how you can let go of things and move on. If you can’t, then there’s your answer. If you can, great. If you do decide to still be in her life, make sure you set your boundaries to let her know that’s not ok and never will be. And that if it happens again, she’d be really cut off. Me and my siblings have forgiven each other for lots of things. Almost fighting being one of them.

All y’all need to grow up

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Trust your gut and love her at a distance. Sounds like she has some mental health issues going on. Maybe schizophrenia or bipolar.

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You don’t have to talk to her until you’re ready

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Let it go. Is it really worth losing your sister over?

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Im the youngest of 6…and I don’t really talk to any of my siblings…bad blood is bad blood…I have babies to raise and they will not be around messes like that

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I moved to the west coast because my toxic family lives on the east coast. Your sister and mine exhibit similar toxic qualities. I have no regrets leaving all those years ago with my son.

what ever choice u make… YOU have to live with it !!!

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My sister and I had the same problem, she crucified my daughter on FB. She died without me ever speaking to her again. Does it bother me? Very rarely, but its what you can live with and only you

Grow up n face it and forgive …family is family …always a new day n new start

Forgive her, she acted a fool and maybe she is sincerely sorry… if her drama becomes an ongoing thing than keep your distance.

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You don’t have forget what they did. I wouldn’t be speaking to her anytime soon, especially with how bad it got. It is childish and she gets to taste ‘silence’. You can respond saying you got the message, but not anything more. Keep distance from ppl who are toxic (I have family who do the same).

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She is your sister. Your fighting is hurting your mom and also affecting the rest of the family. If there is a chance at forgiveness, take it. Forgiving her doesn’t mean excusing her bad behavior. It just means releasing the hurt and giving it to God. You ghys have an opportunity to talk about what happened and move past it. Life is short and holding onto grudges is not worth it in the end. Love must conquer all.

I don’t know, only you can answer this. I personally have 4 siblings that I don’t speak to and 2 of them haven’t been a part of my life for 15 years. I’m quite happy out of their drama.

You are young, life is long. Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting but this isn’t worth losing each other over imo.

Let it go but keep your distance.

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I had something similar happen to me and my sister. My sister is extremely immature and I cut her off. My life has been better with the lack of drama. Yours will too. Hugs.

Unfortunately yes family is family but no matter who it is if they are toxic in your life only you can decide when its time to walk away

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You mention that she was childish for being mad about not bringing her husband and son then you state you got in to an argument and are asking if you should forgive her. It seems that maybe being childish runs in the family.

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I think you need to meet with your sister to discuss what made her act the way she did. There could be more going on within her, that you’re not aware of. Once you’ve spoken, decide if there is a place in your life for her

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She can’t be acting a fool like that especially when children are around. I would be civil and keep my distance