Should I cut my sister off or forgive her?

I would forgive her to an extent. I’d be civil with her at family events. But that’s probably it. Definitely would not be around her alone or trust her again.

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If they’re toxic let them go. Just because somebody is family does not mean you have to subject you or your children to crazy situations. It’s not healthy. :scissors:

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She might be going through a hard time and none of you knows about it and she is sad. The attitude of trying to fight about everything and attack everyone is not something normal. Forgive her, be cautious and try to see if the closest of your relatives can get her to speak of her troubles. You all see what you can do to help. She is struggling with something.

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I have no issues cutting out anyone that is toxic to me or my family I built. I dont have time for drama and BS. Family, friend, dont care. A sh!tty person is a sh!tty person. :scissors::scissors:

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If your sister has a husband and son this behavior does not sound normal. Something is going on in her life. Forgive her but do not put up with this behavior.

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She sounds unstable and toxic. Don’t trust her family isnt always family.

U can forgive, get bak onto talkin terms but keep ur distance

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I have no issues cutting ties with people who are toxic, regardless of if theyre family. Just my opinion.

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See if something was going on, why she was so stressed, upset and touchy. I’ll bet she was dealing with some personal crap and you were the handy target because she felt you were strong enough to take it.

Talk to her. It’s a big deal that she wants to apologize. Ask if she’s gotten help for or gotten over whatever caused her to snap. Hope you can reconcile and be there for each other.

If she still seems a bit off, just see her in public places or with others around. Good luck!

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If my sibling wanted to throw hands, I’m totally down for that for that😂

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Toxic is toxic. Ir choice if u really want that around ur child. I cut my fam out. Idc rather be the black sheep than my kids see what I did or go thru any of it.

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sounds toxic. you and your baby don’t deserve that. sorry mama, you were right to stay away. keep it that way. she’s your sister, so arms distance so to speak. much love.

I believe your sister has mental problems and is violently dangerous. I would avoid her for my and my child’s safety. Sorry you’re having this trouble.

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Forgive her. But i would give her a wide berth.

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Sorry I could not forgive that type of behaviour no matter what may have been happening in her life no one has the right to verbally attack or threaten you

Don’t ever ignore a gut feeling IDC IDC IDC who it is

People make silly mistakes when they are struggling. I’m sure ur sister is very sorry. Keep ur child out of it and go alone until u no for sure its not gona happen again. We are all human and do very silly things no matter what age we are

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Don’t go that route by cutting her off, think of your mom and what this will do to her, remember u are still her kids, don’t wait for moms sickbed/death( not that it will happen soon) praying for u all to reunite drama less🤗

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I cut my sister off or forgive her? - Mamas Uncut

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My sister was fighting with my mom a year ago and decided to rope me in and threatened me as well! Forgive when you feel it’s time not when others think you should as for the rest you have to think about the kids and their safety mentally and physically and these days unfortunately that includes with family. Some things can’t be taken back!

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I spent years dealing with my younger brother and his family. He rarely visited my Parents and was little help as they grew older and more frail. But whenever he appeared I let bygones be bygones. Until both my parents had passed away. He snatched my Parents house out from under me but by then I was to emotionally drained to deal with his foolishness anymore. I haven’t spoken to him in 8 years.

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It takes time to get over something like that. I had that happen to me. In time you will be able to put it behind you and be friends again.

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You can love your sister but at sometime you have to say enough is enough and for your sake and the sake of your family get away from the drama. You can love her but love yourself and what is yours first.

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My dad taught me to always trust my gut instincts and that has always served me well. I do believe family is family but toxicity can be so destructive. I have a sister that I love with all my heart and if she ever needs me I will always be there for her, but we have a non existent relationship (my choice) because she is just to toxic. But I do love her as I suspect you love your sister as well. Trust your instincts and GOD BLESS you and your daughter :two_hearts:

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She’s apologized. Forgive her, because holding a grudge, unforgiveness, is a cancer on your soul. Now this doesn’t mean everything goes immediately back to what it was before. Take it slow. Love her, but a little distance for a while isn’t a bad thing.

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Forgive her because you don’t know what tomorrow holds. My sister and I didn’t get along most of our lives and then she moved back home with us. The last six months she was alive was the best we had ever gotten along with each other. Life is short and someone could die unexpectedly. Yes you may be hurt but I would give anything to have my sister back. She was only 44 and died by herself unexpectedly because I took my parents and my 2 kids on vacation without her

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God want us to love one another don’t continue to hold it against her .Listen to her don’t put your children in the middle of adults situations not good .

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She is at least apologizing. I would definitely give her a second chance. Maybe meet with her for lunch a couple times and THEN let your daughter come. My sister in law caused a royal S$^& storm and I defended myself and my siblings sided with her. I definitely will not apologize to them for defending myself against that witch because from the day we met she looked down on me like we were garbage. She went as far as to not send us a wedding invitation because she "thought we were going to be on vacation "

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You should forgive her but protect your peace. You get to control the relationship you have with her in the future and how much time your children spend with her. Protect your peace and the peace of your home!

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Honey, go ahead and talk to your sister. Because if something happens to her, you’ll wish that you had. Family is family. Be the bigger person and move on. Life is too short :broken_heart:

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You can forgive her but you can keep your distance. She sounds very toxic.

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I say forgive her and be the better person.

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We are commanded to forgive one another. Your actually blessed that she wants to apologize. You should forgive. Speak frank on how it hurt you and it can’t happen anymore- family is family. Say if she is still mouthy and aggressive about something else, then keep her at arms length. We all need forgiveness but you don’t have to be best friends with her.

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I haven’t talked to 2 of my sister’s in over 20 years. They aren’t worth the trouble and drama they bring with them

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Do what makes you feel more comfortable I have had to cut most of my family out because too much drama for my children to be around

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I would meet her in a neutral place and don’t take your daughter feel her out see what she has to say and explain how upset you were she threatened you and you’ll know after your conversation if you can trust her …hope it all works out

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Honestly some things are hard to forgive. In my experience the person thinks they can do or say what they want because they got away with it the first time. Family or not you are still entitled to respect.

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Sounds like your sister was overwhelmed with emotions and you were simply the outlet. No one can legitimately assume that there are mental health or substance abuse issues or anything else because we don’t know you, your sister or the situation. I mean, she could have been feeling guilty about being away from her husband and son (nothing digs deeper than a pitiful child - tears, sad face, etc.)

She DID deny her husband and son the trip as it was a promited as girls’ trip. Maybe the sister who brought the boyfriend was out of line.

I say that forgiveness is the best option, for both your sakes. Anger is a big burden to carry around. At the same time, trust your gut and keep her at arms length until you are comfortable.

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Sometimes she can be going through somethings and you don’t know about it is your sister sit down with her talk to her find out what is really going on with her love her forgive her you know sometimes we haveing things inside and we does not really want yo talk about it …it making us bitter inside so you can never know so .

If she wronged u, in front of your child once,she will do it again. I left something like that in my family. I never regretted it. Life is too short to worry about such foolish things. Your kids are your worry,until they are 18. They are apart of u. Teach them to strand on their ground, amen

Please forgive her !! Not for her sake but for yours !! If you don’t forgive you will carry this around the rest of your life or hers . It doesn’t mean you are weak ,you are strong enough to do what is right !!!

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Mistakes can happen, especially when emotions are running high. I would say give
her another chance. I wouldn’t have my kid around her right away or do it in my home BUT if this is one of those instances where it’s abnormal I would say it’s worth it. As a kid it sucks to not have your aunts,uncles or any other part of your family in your life

Keep your distance and go with your gut feeling. Better safe than sorry.

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Once bitten twice shy…Family or not…if they can swing on you once like this, then they will do it again at a drop of a Hat…Let her know what she has done is Wrong & you aren’t going to put up with her crap…& keep a close Eye on this Frienemy :face_with_monocle::eyes:

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Go with your gut if it says stay away then stay away just because she’s family it doesn’t give her the right to treat you anyway she wants

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I’m thinking drugs or alcohol issues. Maybe both. (Re) enter at your own risk.

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It’s obvious that the sister was upset that the other sister secretly brought her boyfriend along after they were told no boys allowed. The sister with the boyfriend was definitely in the wrong but the other sister overreacted instead of just saying that she was upset with the situation. Unless she has a history of acting like this I think the writer needs to accept her apology. I hope the other sister understands that she was in the wrong for bringing her boyfriend along.

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20 years without my so called sister in my life…I have had a much better life without her in it…no amount of talking would ever heal that rift…

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How old is your mother. Is it possible that she has the starting of some dimentia issues. (Can start at any age.) could this be a medical issue. When my father had dimentia, he was extremely sweet but occasionally would irrationally lash out in anger. We understood what this was and were very patient with him.

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Give it some more time eventually maybe things will get better and if they don’t no big loss then I’ve been through a lot seven brothers and three sisters

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After being cut out of my sisters life for 30 years I can tell you the pain is beyond belief. You would think it would get better by age 75, please heal the problem. She is gone now and my heart is still heavy. :heart::heart:

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Talk to her , give her a chance. I’m not excusing her behavior but I do know the same impact hormones play on all of us. Sisters are special, maybe you can help her figure out what’s going on!

Forgive her but take it slow. Try & sit down with her & talk about what happened. It’s best to air the issue(s) so they don’t keep popping up causing further problems. Good luck

I’m always willing to give someone a second chance so long as it comes with an acknowledgment of their poor behavior, a sincere apology, and establishing boundaries going forward. Like the saying - fool me once shame on you - fool me twice shame on me.

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I always fought with my Sister but we lived together and went many times not talking. But I’m glad we were again talking because she died a week later. I would be devastated if we weren’t talking then. Please you can forgive but don’t forget what put you there to begin with.

Sometimes you have to walk away from toxic people to protect yourself and those you love. This is particularly hard when the the person is family. You can forgive but does not mean you have to spend time with them.

Forgive and forget. Life is too short to keep angers pent up . She called you so she wants to reconnect. Keep family together — love —- not — hate.

Matthew 6:14-15 For if you forgive men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

No, family is not always family. There is no reason to accept toxic people just because you’re related. You do not have to deal with shitty people because of dna.

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Definitely give her another chance. We all have those “moments” and then it passes. Feel lucky she came to you and apologized. Some of us aren’t fortunate to apologize to a sibling again because they are no longer with us.

My son and daughter had an upset at my home right before Christmas. They ended up yelling at each other and have not spoken since. My son called me and got me in it and he did not speak to me for 3 months. I will say think of your mom. Let it go. People fight. She wasn’t upset at you. She took it out on you.

That’s a very hard place to be. I’ve been there because I don’t want anyone to fight or yell in front of my grandkids and they can’t even fight or hit each other as kids. It has been 2 years that I’ve not seen them. That is their choice not mine cause I won’t let anyone act up. Not a day goes by that I don’t cry about it. God help you decide

Treat her like family and make sure to give her a boundary she can not cross. Coz even though she claims she has changed, you can’t trust her fully

Make amends but keep your distance. At this point, she would have to win back my trust; Start with weekly phone chats. eventually may be a lunch date…alone without any kids. Baby steps and see how it goes. Always trust that gut feeling…

Ok. I would set up a meeting with her with all of your sisters and your mother there. Make it in a public place where she will get arrested if she makes a scene. If she has a problem with the rest of the family being there, tell her that she involved them when she started yelling at the top of her lungs. This involves all of you now, not just the two of you.
You do not go to meet her without another person to witness what she says and does. This is a family problem and the family needs to help fix it. You were not the only person she hurt that weekend. She was not the only person that hurt anybody either. What about Sis with the boyfriend? She needs to get straightened out as well.
I say it is a family issue. So, get in the phone. Good luck.

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It is a hard one as everyone thinks differently only you know if you want her back in your life.have you missed her.?it depends if you can forgive her for the hurtful things she said to you.imaybe able to forgive but iknow I would never forget and you probably would never feel the same as you did.only you know in your heart if you are happy without her.do what you want listen to your own thoughts. and act on them.xx🌺

Listen to your instincts and keep away from her ,sounds like she needs a mental health evaluation , so for your daughters health and your own only see her in crowded areas but never alone

She is trying to straighten out her mess. Forgive her I miss my family and they done strange things.

Forgive. Each of us is capable of horrible behavior. Bury the hatchet and be glad she admitted she was wrong. Someone said, holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting it to make the other person sick. From a previously angry person who decided to forgive.

There’s always one in the family. Meet up with her and discuss like adults. She reached out. Meet her halfway

Never ask others their opinion. It doesn’t and they will never agree. Follow your heart . If you get burned again, lesson learned. Now go and heal your family…

Forgive her for your own benefit. Dalai Lama says we forgive because we do not want to hold onto the poison of anger any longer. He also said it’s like swallowing a poison and expecting the other person to die. That has stuck with me and allowed me to forgive quickly as I want to LIVE.

Just remember you dont get to choose your family. She is only a sister. I have one that stabbed 4 of us siblings in the back. After my parents both died she sold the house took the bank accounts and the car and for 9 yrs.we got nothing

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Start with is messaging the way an apologetic conversation should transpire especially considering how the whole mess went down? Family is family but that does not excuse that kind of behavior. You are due more and should hold out for it because it doesn’t seem genuine.

Family is family…just keep her at a small distance for awhile…soo she gets the message about her behavior…just my opinion

Yes, forgive her…but keep her at a distant. Some people dont change, even if they are older then the hills. Sibling or sibling.

Family is family but i still wouldn’t trust her…like they say u can pick your friends but u cant pick your family lol…keep your daughter home in case of drama she dont need to be near a crazy sister lol good luck

It sounds like she has issues! Perhaps always the one who wanted all the attention? Jealous when you were younger? Tell her tantrums belong with small children. She must grow up!

I think that you should let her sweat for awhile, then you guys need to talk about what happened. Hopefully what she says will make you feel better and believe that what she said is genuine. Hoping that you guys can leave it in the past and go back to being sisters that love and respect one another, good luck.

I’m in the same boat except my sister has already shown her true colors multiple times by the time I cut her off. She still lives with our grandparents and will send her poor son out to tell me his mommy loves and misses me when I stop by but I still have not spoken to her and I never will. I don’t need toxic. It’s been 8 years she has never even met my 7 yo and never will.

I would just respond with “i’m still upset about the situations and i am not ready to speak to you at the moment” when you feel ready then reach back out to her.

Our pastor said forgive them.Because it will eat up inside. You never no what she was going thru at that time. talk to her you will feel better.

Sounds like sis is on drugs or has an undiagnosed mental illness (bipolar disorder)

This is your SISTER ! Maybe she was at a bad time in her life. Does she always act that way ? Life is too short to hold grudges.

Be aware, be alert, be forgiving once your gut has assessed the situation Set boundaries.

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First, I blame your other sister for taking advantage of the situation by bringing her boyfriend. And your mom for allowing him to stay. That right there was the start of the problem. But, your other sister was way out of line. Not sure how much time has gone by but if she’s had time to mature a bit then sure,why not give it a try?

I had a disagreement with my brother years ago, we didn’t speak for a long time. Thankfully we did resolve the problem, but, we missed out on all that time being mad at each other. He is gone now and I would happily take back that wasted time that we spent being angry with each other.

She sounds like she may have a disorder causing her to have paranoia and becoming suddenly violent. You’ll need to tread carefully, and certainly no more family weekends with her.

I always believe if someone is strong/contrite/sincere enough to apologize, you ALWAYS accept the apology. Plus, who wants to lose the love of a sister?

I would forgive her but keep my distance. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to put yourself back in a situation to get hurt again.

Forgive her my sister has not spoken to me in about 6 years !LEt by gones be bygones if you need to vent and talk about it doso and move on!

You have to forgive, but that does not mean you will forget. GOD forgives us and we have to do the same. Be cautious…HE gives all of us sense! Deal with her with long handle spoon!

Family can cause you the most pain. I, personally refuse to be part of my sisters drama and just moved away on my own. I do think about them, I miss them but I don’t trust any one of them. So, to me it’s your personal decision but for me, I would stay far from her.

You may be able to forgive but never forget. Trust is hard thing to get back once it is broken. Take it slow. I know from experience.

Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself! Then move on!! I would be very cautious!

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Sometimes you got to love family from a distance. Talk to her but keep your distance.

Forgiveness is always the right way. I had to learn this myself. And if God can forgive me of all my issues then we must learn to give others as he forgives us. Its good for the soul and you will feel better about it.

I have sister that self proclaimed dead. Due to fact that is never a person to own up to anything and like your sister all she does is yell and screams at the top of her lungs so everyone can hear her. I stopped going to family functions because of her. To this day i will ever speak to her again. To toxic for me.

You can forgive, but if your gut instinct says you should trust her don’t. Be careful.

I suppose that setting your boundaries are important even with your family members.