Maybe that’s why since your bf it’s not your daughters 
father…
Am I the only one that can’t see where she says she wants to leave her bf??!!
Pretty sure she’s saying to not talk to HIS FAMILY. 
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I’d straight up just ask them why than you’ll know where u stand and can make a decision from there
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It’s difficult when you are creating an obituary. I’ve had to write a few. I inevitably forget someone. I forgot my own grandson when writing my Mom’s. I was so intent to have all grandchildren’s names listed in age order that somehow I left his out. Give this a pass. It is a blessing that she was loved by him.
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Are u guys on and off or fuss alot?
So am I the only one who is completely missing the part where she said she was going to leave her bf over this…oh no that’s right cause she didn’t. She CLEARLY says cut ties with his family not him. some of you commentators really need to reread her post before attacking her.
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Don’t allow them to disrespect you and your daughter.
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Since the other girlfriends were added I’d be pissed. I’d have to have answers.
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Let it go . I know your bothered but find it in ur heart to let it go. He didn’t have a say so in the obituary obviously
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Big time overreation. All this drama because it wasn’t mentioned in the obituary? It does not take her memories of their relationship way. Let it go…MASSIVE overreaction.
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I wasn’t added to my uncles obituary but a ton of people were listed as his “daughters” but weren’t actually family at all just people that considered him a father figure. It hurt but I didn’t make a big deal about it. It says more about them than it does about you or your daughter and has no bearing on the relationship that she and her grandfather had.
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I would ask my bf to find out why ur daughters name wasn’t in there, therefore it’s about her & not myself. if he says idk, I’d ask him to please find out?
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Cut ties with them 
I’m not gonna say anything else it will hurt feelings but I think u kno why u guys weren’t included and it really shouldn’t bother u … he’s put a stamp on your hearts and will be remembered by u two that’s what matters and u should b there for the family at this time not against them 
Playing devil’s advocate but the older generation tends to insist on writing their own obituary when they write their wills. (I’ve dealt with 5 where I was the one who had to deal with funeral). His will may have been written with obituary prior to your involvement in his life. Unless they intentionally try to tell your daughter he wasn’t her poppy really I wouldn’t worry about it.
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Could be you keeping score with the other gf and kids or maybe in grief it got overlooked, or maybe because you are not married to his grandson, who cares, but you say your child loved him and him her, so only an obituary is proof? Grow up they just lost grandpa, it’s not about you or your daughter, geez
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Why bother it’s not going to change anything. Life is to short. This world is so fucked up. Just teach your daughter to be kind no matter what. We need kind people. Not people who just don’t care. If you know that he loved your daughter that’s all that matters now.
I wrote the obituary for my mother… I only included people in the blood line who were directly related to her. That did not include my husband or brother in laws… it included those directly related and not their spouses. I don’t see your issue here… or why you think it’s a big deal.
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I don’t think you should up and have them completely out of y’all’s life. What if y’all have a child together? Will they not be able to come around over something that slight? Yes I can see why it would hurt but most of the time when people are doing obits they are greiveing, and aren’t thinking clearly. I don’t know if this was the case or not but either way this one should get a pass. If they continue to keep the attitude up then I would say you have reason. But as of the obit. I would give them a pass they just lost someone close to them.
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I think this is probably a case of letting sleeping dogs lie…Its hurtful but not worth the family drama, you guys obviously had a special bond with him regardless of having your names on something and noone can take that away from you. I’d just let it go
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Hes your boyfriend not your husband you dont really need to be added and if you loved him you wouldnt be trying to cut ties over not being in a dam news paper article thats petty
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Let it go love not worth it .if you love your man and he loves you and your daughter and hes good to you .tell him how hurt you are .maybe he could have a word .with them or you ask them why u wernt put on list .but dont make a big issue .life is too short love just enjoy what you have xx
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Well since they added the other girlfriends and their kids, then yes I’d have a problem with that. Your boyfriend needs to be the one to bring it to their attention though. That’s just disrespectful and cruel to single you and your daughter out like that.
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If you know for a fact he loved your daughter and she loved him that should be all that matters too. 
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Kind of selfish to assume either of you should be added. She will remember him, not the obituary.
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Do any of y’all read? They are going to include everyone else but this mom and daughter, yeah I’d be hurt too! Especially if they’ve had other things to happen. Don’t take they’re abuse.
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Sorry but your daughter is not blood related to the man so no they did the right thing. Are you living with your boyfriend and if not then no they don’t have to either. When my dad died my fiances name wasn’t on his plaque and we were together 5 years at that stage and had a Angel. My fiance wasn’t upset one bit
I think it’s so weird that they added all the girlfriends and those kids in the first place🤦. Who wrote the obituary? It is rude that they left her out.But like you said you guys know that he loved her when he was here.
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I understand why your upset, but you aren’t married. One thing we have to remember is maybe it was simply an oversight. It’s not about you at this time, it’s about the Man who passed. Don’t just give up on his family
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Your daughter is already grieving the loss of her grandfather…why cut ties and force her to grieve for the rest of the family, all because of an obituary. I understand how it could be upsetting but it’s a difficult time for the family and despite feeling left out you should be the better person and be there for your boyfriend and his family in their time of grief .
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I understand how your daughter feels, but you weren’t married, he never officially adopted her, and she wasn’t his biological child, so I understand why you and her weren’t included. I was actually VERY shocked that when my daughters biological father died they included her in the obituary, and she was his biological kid!!! (He had very little to do with her though). This isn’t about you. I know your hurt but try to see the big picture. My deepest condolences DO go out to you and your daughter for your loss though.
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My advice to you is ‘dont force yourself to be accepted. If you said it’s been one thing after another then it’s clear they don’t feel great about your relationship with your boyfriend’ Learn to stay away from them and if your boyfriend is equally not straight forward about it,you might just have to move on with the next good guy.
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I am from a very large family and so is my husband. Recently both our father’s passed away and I had to write the obituaries. Three times each because I forgot someone or misspelled, etc. I made sure it was looked at by everyone to finalize it. So if this is as large family too don’t rule out that it was just an innocent mistake.
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How sad. Someone decided to not add you both and no one stood up for you so that says something. I’m not married to the father of my children, we have 3 kiddos together. His mother passed away last year and I loved her. They put me in the obituary as my boyfriend’s wife and included my first son that isn’t related to them by blood as a grandchild because she loved him. What they did is not okay. I’m sorry for your loss.
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I understand you are upset but I wouldn’t cut ties with them if this is the only issue you have with them. It is an emotional time for the family and as someone who has had to write an obituary you can forget names. I did when doing my parent’s obituary and had to edit I tdd several times. Do not take it the wrong way. Talk to them and see what happened don’t assume anything. Sorry this happened and you got hurt during this emotional time.
Who’s decision was it to do that? My daughter wasn’t in her bio grandma’s obituary because my husband’s sister left her out on purpose. He has since disowned his sister. It was someone’s decision not the whole families. As long as they treat her like family then I wouldn’t.
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You need your name in the obit to validate that he loved your daughter? Get over it. It sucks, yes and family does f’ed up stuff when someone dies. And maybe the other gfs and kids were added bc they are actually blood related. All your daughter knows is love she had from him. She doesn’t need her name in an article. Hold ur head up… don’t resort to their level and move on from here
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Set down and talk to them,
Express your feelings if you need to but You said yourself you knew he loved her, that’s all that really matters, don’t stain their relationship over his families pettiness.
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Someone botched my brothers name on our dads obituary… I say only allow her around those who show true love & genuine interest in her well being. So sorry for you being left out…that’s just mean.
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No. Not everything is about you. Do not make someone’s death about yourself. It literally has nothing to do with you. If the family are actually treating your daughter like she’s not part of their family, sure id discuss that issue with the father but if this is the only instance it probably doesn’t mean anything.
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I’m going to say the harsh truth (i know I’ll probably get hate, but it needs said) get the f*** over it. You and her are not blood and most families only include blood relatives in obituaries. My gosh everyone needs to quit overthinking crap and just live their lives and quit letting everything get under your skin! This world has become a bunch of sensitive ball sacks that over think everything! 
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I think this is a issue for your boyfriend to handle with his family. He should have had a say , or at least asked why. When any of my close family past, I had to list my self & spouse & children on paperwork for obituary. Maybe, the boyfriend should have made sure y’all were listed, & made it clear the importance of you & your daughter in his life.
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I agree with a few of these comments he should be the one to address that especially if he sees her as his daughter. The fact that other girlfriends etc were added and y’all weren’t is really sketchy. It really seems like that was done deliberately. I’d base the decision on whether to cut them off or not on what they say to your bf. If they don’t consider you part of the family by now I wouldn’t even bother with them anymore.
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My Mawmaw just passed away a couple weeks ago. We did not have my boyfriend of 4 years or my youngest sister’s boyfriend of 6 years on her obituary. They weren’t upset about it. We did have my middle sister’s husband on it.
They may not have included you guys because you aren’t married and your daughter is not “technically” his. It’s kind of an old way of thinking but it definitely happens.
I feel like there has to be more to this story. How have they treated you and your daughter as a whole? Is it just the obituary you’re upset about? Or something else? Was anyone else’s boyfriend or girlfriend not included (not husband or wife)? If this is just about the obituary, you need to let it go for your daughter’s sake. Acknowledge the hurt with your boyfriend but don’t cut his family out over it.
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Obituaries are commonly used for genealogy research. She was not biologically related to him nor was she adopted. That said, I was the bigger person and allowed my sisters request to include my ex husband because we hadn’t been divorced that long and my grandma loved him. He no longer had the right to be included. I wouldn’t be offended by it either way… The important part is how he treated her and how the rest if the family acts towards her now. If they treat her less than- then sure, cut them out.
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Could it have been unintentional? When my husband passed away I forgot to put someone on the obit that I should have included. Just the combination of grief and making decisions so fast about the service and all I just completely forgot. I feel awful about it now and don’t have a relationship with this person now possibly because their feelings were so hurt. Maybe talk to your boyfriend and family to see if maybe that was the case?
Lady and daugtheplease leave alone your daughter is to young for this make her happy .
Boyfriend. Your respect for him is important here why create a monster.the men us resting.
Times are DIFFCULT. And he is with u for a piece of paper.
I would ask and just be like “why was my daughter and I excluded when I know for a fact he loved my daughter the same as his own grandchildren.” Blood doesn’t make family.
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Visit the grave, take flowers. Your children loved him, and sounds like he loved them back. So nuture those memories, don’t worry about the others.
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Obituary aside, if they treat her like part of the family then I would just let it go. I will say I grew up with half of my step-dads family treating me different, even to this day and my mom and step-dad have been together for 28 years now. It definitely affected me growing up to be a blatant non concern for some of them but other family members have always welcomed me with open arms. If they aren’t treating her like family I think it deserves a discussion before cutting them off, but if they continue to be disrespectful I wouldn’t blame you in the slightest. Kids are very receptive, they notice things like that.
It could have been an accident. It’s up to you. If you want to confront them and be that person sure do so. Maybe have your bf do it. If this is the only thing they have done then don’t cut ties. If there has been other instances that warrant ties being cut then do it.
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This is the only stable family YOUR daughter has ever known. DON’T take them away from her because of an adult mistake or hang up. You can find out by yourself what happened. She’s only 4 she won’t know what’s happened unless you tell her. She will react if you do. Put this behind you and learn how to forgive and not teach vengeance or hate. Be careful with your child’s mental health, she is watching you and is taking your lead. Our children are borrowed, God gives them to us for a certain time, then they leave us and lead their own lives. We are here to lead them, love them and have their best interest at heart. Chose forgiveness, understanding and love. Reject vengeance, hate and unforgiveness. Be BLESSED!
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I am sorry that happened. She had the right to do what she did. I feel you should of been added but you are not legally his wife. So that what she did.
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Communicate your disappointment. See what they say. Then move on from that. It’s ok to let them know your hurt without being spiteful or disrespectful. Continue to be a good person and honor his memory with your daughter. Don’t be like them.
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So when my grandpa died my mom included my husband (then boyfriend) and our daughter. I’m also adopted so we don’t believe family is just “blood related”. Family is who loves you and is always there for you. I think you should of been included, however, someone’s death should not be about you. It’s okay to be upset, but don’t cut the family out just yet.
In my family the girlfriend/boyfriend is lucky if they get mentioned as a “special friend.” LUCKY. (I mean 10 + years lucky.) I can see you being upset over your daughter not being mentioned though. I’m not sure why you think you should be.
Were they girlfriends or wives that were listed? I don’t think I’ve ever seen girlfriends listed. However, they could have acknowledged your daughter as a bonus grandchild.
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The fact is you are not married to your boyfriend. Your daughter is not biologically his nor related to them. Your expectations are to high and your way to nit picky. No you should not stop being around them. Remember you all are not related to them.
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You for sure need to do some major growing up. Way to nit picky for sure.
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U cant force acceptance. A lot families r funny about obituaries. Unless they actually shun her, dont make waves, especially as they r grieving
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Grow up, they were wrong but it’s not that deep to cut ties.
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To cut a whole family out for something one person did and others may have not know about would be very sad. the information on those cards is not given by a group of people but by one person one who is most likely every emotional at that time. You said other children you did not say if the other children were biologically related or not. Even if they were find out more information before you over react it might not have been intentional. Unless there are other situations where you do not feel accepted I would let it go and forgive. If there is a long history of this then you need to look at where your boyfriend stand on the issues and frankly where he sees your relationship. Frankly in 4 yrs why have you two gotten married that says a lot in my opinion. You really need to find out where he see your relationship because frankly you allow your daughter to get attached to someone who is one foot in and one foot out. You need to blame yourself for that and any hurt she or you feel. Parents should not allow their children meet people when they do not plan forever with them its not fair to the child. So if you really want to blames someone and be hurt you need to look at yourself as much as you look at them. I sorry your daughters dad wants nothing to do with her my son dad does not want anything to do with him but its not okay as parents to have our kids attach to someone we do not plan long term with and have define the relationship. Before my child meets anyone in my life I know if they are only friends or if its going some where if they are a boy friend they do not meet my child unless we are talking marriage because it is NOT fair to a child to have people in and out of their lives. So you need to look at what you choose for you and your daughters lives before blaming people for hurting your feelings.
Wait ! You wanna take all the people you daughter knows and loves because they didn’t put your name in an obit?
Sounds to me like there is WAY more to the story
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Do they treat her badly? If so then yes of course cut them. But if it’s just because she wasn’t on the obituary no. Losing someone is very difficult and it could’ve been an over sight.
Again if they treat her bad then absolutely cut ties. If just the obituary I would talk to them about it.
Honesty goes along way. Good luck mamma 
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Have you asked them why?
Don’t cut just ignore them and don’t take nonsense if it harms her
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I would wash my hands
You aren’t married and that’s not his biological granddaughter.
I’ve never seen an obituary that’s adds girlfriends, boyfriends or anything like that, it’s for genealogy purposes.
Please don’t make someone’s death about you.
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I believe that was likely to do with you not being married or her not being a biological relation. My mom was adopted and never knew her biological father his loss not hers that’s for sure until adulthood. Well oddly enough when his mom my great grandma well biological great grandma passed away we were in her obituary. I met the woman ONE time I couldn’t tell you her favorite color her favorite food I could barely remember her first name my mom met her once as well literally nothing there 
Yet there we were in her obituary weirdest thing ever we didn’t even attend the funeral. Please don’t look to far into an obituary. 
As someone who grew up with a mother who was a genealogist, I just wanna say that many times those things are used later on for genealogy purposes; since your daughter isn’t blood relation and you aren’t married to this man, I see no wrong done. Though I do get why it hurts you; I don’t think this particular thing was done to purposely hurt anyone.
There are many things that can slow and hinder someone’s genealogy search, and this type of thing is one of them. It gets very confusing for the researcher(s).
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Writing an obituary is a daunting task. You’re consumed with grief especially if it was an unexpected death. Then you’re charged per word while being concerned about medical, funeral & burial fees. I can see leaving a grandchild’s girlfriend & her child out of it. Usually obits have immediate family only. It would list spouse, children with spouses in (__), siblings then say something like “and many grandchildren, nieces & nephews”. It would cost way too much to include every family member. However you stated his obit included names of other girlfriends. That’s odd. It seems like this isn’t the first incident & may just be the last straw for you.
That’s horribly sad. I’m sorry that happened to you.
You are to entitled you weren’t even married. This death is not about u and your daughter smh selfish. Control your emotions ready to cut ppl off for small things. How about go and make sure his family are ok death can be bring on many emotions.
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He may have treated her well. It doesn’t mean the family felt the same way. Don’t cut them out. Now you know how they feel
It’s not like your his wife.
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You said it’s been one thing after another ,does that include your boyfriend ? If he can’t stick up for you and your daughter ,then he needs to go
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Uhh this is going to sound harsh. You are not married. They Maybe should have added your daughter. Personally I think obituaries should just be straight forward like neices,nephews, grandkids, great grandparents etc. Instead of naming each individual. I could careless they’re no longer here. Your daughter is most likely hurting worry about her not a piece of paper.
That would be a very immature thing to do. Someone died, there’s a lot of different feelings, emotions, fears, etc etc going on and cutting ties for something like that isn’t the answer.
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Nope. If I had a bf and his family died he should be on it, not me. Don’t have to be apart of a obituary to matter. 
I’m sure your daughter matters very much. Hugs mama:two_hearts:
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I wouldn’t care if you aren’t married there’s no reason for you to even be on it tbh and if at that it’s usually immediate family
Sounds like something bf needs to address
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When it comes down to the Spanish families they don’t like Negri aka Marana we’re not liked by the elders n once they express to the whole family how they feel that their blood should be pure the younger ones doesn’t have a choice but to listen or get disowned seen it from young you’ll be lucky if they’re willing to accept his biological children with you n best believe whenever you’re not around they’ll be treated like you n your daughter are being treated now so if anything this is a question you should be asking him n see what he’s willing to do or go about this present n future situations cause emotional scars be the worst when you’re dealing with it from young n your babies deserve protection acceptance n most of all RESPECT JUST LIKE THEIR MAMA DO blessings and good luck
You aren’t married and older folks tend to wonder if it will last
The passing of a loved one is a very hard time.an obituary is not an easy thing to do.somwthings may get left out,the family is grieving.also an obituary cost money.another thing how would a four year old even know anything about not being listed unless you are making a big deal of it to her .talk to the family.also let your daughter grieve but stop harping on a piece of paper with names .
Well that’s one way to make a partners family members death about you. y’all aren’t married and he hasn’t adopted her. for all we know those “girlfriends and other grandkids” are actually related grandchildren and the mother’s.
If they treat her bad then sure don’t talk to them, w.e. But if this is literally your only reason as to wanting to cut them off then you need to grow up. It’s about their familys loss. Not you and your kid.
The only way not being mentioned would upset a 4 year old is if you told her she wasn’t and made a big ass deal about it infront of her. Cause I sure know my 5 year old wouldn’t care less about it.
I’m just gonna be honest you walk away now and say you’re not gonna deal with this family because her name wasn’t on an obituary after a funeral and everyone is grieving a loss you’re gonna look like an ass
Ur just the gf, calm dwn. It’s not free to have an obituary it cost money for every line. My husband and my daughter were not in my gpas or gmas obituary. I say pick ur battles and stay in ur lane
Paloma Palkki totally agree with you.
I didn’t have my boyfriend put in my dads obituary. Obits are for blood. No one needs to know who ya dating or married to. It’s to talk about the person’s kids n wife n shit like that.
Wow that is some immature shit right there.
I’ll catch Hell for this but… you aren’t Married so you can’t be mad you don’t get the same privileges as a married woman.
When publishing an obituary,I had to do this with my mom’s back in 2016, the person that submits it to be published has to pay so much for each letter, punctuation, and space (character). It adds up. I was forced to leave out family because I didn’t have the funds to include all of them just using their first names. It wasn’t that they were not loved or less important than anyone else, I just ran out of money.
No, pick your battles.
They had way more to worry about then making sure everyones name was included.
Alot and I mean alot go into a funeral.
I personally wouldn’t bring it up eaither, they are grieving right now.
Now if his family is toxic, rude people and you have already tried, then by all means cut ties.
We all have boundaries that others should cross but I’d chalk this up To forgetfulness during grief.
When my own mother died we were making a collage and forgot to put in one of my sister-in-law’s, not out of spite, I love her like one of my own sisters.
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Firstly, ask the person who was in charge of providing the information for the obituary if it was done purposely or by accident. Do it nicely and without your boyfriend. Explain how it made you feel and then after you receive the answer, decide how to proceed. But…it is very important for you to do this calmly and nicely without attitude regardless of what is said. It is the only way to get an honest answer and keep in mind a person who your child cared for just died
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Don’t sit back get right in there tell them how you and your daughter were treated.Cos if you don’t will they continue to treat you like that.Your daughter had every right to feel that way.And if your boyfriend doesn’t back you then walk from them all not worth it.Only your daughter needs you
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Not important…your daughter loved her grandpa and will always remember him…make sure you don t taint that memory…don t be bitter what the hell does it matter who gets mentioned in the paper…move on …
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He loved her and she loves him and always will, that’s all that matters. Honor his memory always and let this one go. Sorry for your loss
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Y’all saying they weren’t family but missed the part where other girlfriends and kids were added? If she wasn’t family then neither are the other girlfriends the same no advice really. I’d just tell them how you felt and ask if it was on purpose or what was up? Anyway they answer will give you your answer. If it’s brushed off as ah it didnt matter then they don’t care. If they didnt realize your feelings and show concern over it then you know it was an accident
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Is this the only instance of them leaving her out, or is it a usual thing? If it’s the first time then it probably was an oversight but if they routinely leave her out and treat her differently then yes, cut ties with them. No child should be made to feel like they matter less than others.
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Nope… You weren’t related to him in any way including by marriage. You shouldn’t have expected to be included even if others were. Their significant others may have thrown fits etc to be included. Life is short… Wouldn’t be worth it to me.
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If the man that past was truly special to your child then why taint the relationship she had with him over a write up in a newspaper ? The child is who is important in this. I doubt at 4 that she can read the obituary so anything negative she would feel from that obituary would come as a direct result of you. If your concern is really for your child then you do not have anything to be upset about.
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Screw that…might as well tell u ur kid is the red headed step child or Cinderella! You dont ever pick n choose who ur grandbabies are! Blood or not if ur son or daughter refers to them as there’s then they’re urs too!!
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