PLEASE! People can be so cruel but let it go. I wouldn’t CUT anyone out because it will only come back to bite you. The bitterness, the hurt, the hate is just not worth it!
She’s not family. Even if your bf treats her as his own, u can’t force his family to embrace her as thier own. Very selfish thinking
You said boyfriend, not husband. Being there for 3 years, as sweet as it may be, isn’t a marriage in the eyes of many, especially more traditional families. My dad is on his third wife. I can guarantee that all of his ex’s kids and grandkids won’t be mentioned in his obituary, even though he “raised them” … blended families are rough sometimes. It’s idealistic to think that others are going to treat you like a wife if you’re not one…
Ridiculous! First, your daughter is missing a person she loved, not a list.of names.inn an obituary. Attend to her grief!
Second, you may think you are family, but obviously this family sees the definition differently. You are a girlfriend aka transitionary, not permanent. That is their right. Again, yoh know the value if your relationship. If you are happy, let it be.
Last, what is bugging you?.is it the “prestige” of being acknowledged, or your child’s missing the only grandfather figured she had?
If it wasn’t for the fact that the other girlfriends and kids were included I’d say let it go your not married. But since they were added and you weren’t, that changes things. I’d probably have the boyfriend do the asking, as to why. As for you, be the better person
First I would find out who wrote the obituary then confront that person and ask why you and your daughter were left out! It’s up to your boyfriend to speak up for you as well! But if you love him don’t let someone else’s action deprive you of that!
I understand how you feel. But you really don’t know if this was intentional or, not. I’d take the high road here and not advertise my hurt. I’d begin to watch the family a little closer to determine if there is actually resentment or not. Figure it out before you make rash decisions about the future. Forgive if it was not intentional and if there is resentment, protect your daughter from knowing it or being exposed to it.
Not family not married. You are mentioned when it says …and friends. Perhaps as he is your boyfriend the family didn’t know how to include you.
When people write out obituary and they are grieving they are going to forget some people specially if they aren’t immediate family. Get over yourself
He is not her dad or stepdad. He is your boyfriend not your husband. If you were a permanent part of his life (married) you would have a reason and a right to complain.
I’d speak to your partner and ask how he feels about it, ,and in his eyes does he respect your child as his own to be recognized as family to his family, ,step child or not takes a man to raise a child blood or not, ,if the family had time and your child spent or was around them and was excepted as family ,I’d be talking to your partner to find out why and if he won’t I’d be changing my priorities, ,
You need to speak with them and explain that it hurt your feelings . They may have unintentionally left your names out . You will know what to do depending on their answer . However , your little girl just knows she loved your boyfriends dad and she doesn’t need to know that she was left out . Comfort her and speak to your. Boyfriend about your feelings about being left off the obituary. Then let it go . If you and your boyfriend have a good relationship that’s all that really matters anyway .
How does your boyfriend feel about it? If he is not upset and is close to his family, I would drop it. Otherwise you might lose him.
Don’t let it effect you, and don’t make a big deal about it when talking to your daughter. Even though prior girlfriends were mentioned in the obit, it’s kind of traditional to just include true family members. If his family is trying to bait you or insult you in some way, remember this - you can’t be insulted if you refuse to accept the insult. Best of luck to you.
Omg I think it bothers you more then it WILL EVER bother your daughter. And asking the public what you should do shows your relationship isn’t that stable in the first place…smh
Be real people is not his child you are not Family not your husband END of STORY
Was your 4 yr old able to read the obit? Think not! Don’t let your ego get in the way of your relationship…get over it
If family is so important why don’t you make it official? Why as a grown up your next of kin is still your mommy?
Your daughter will remember him, you remember him, that’s all that counts.
Obituaries are sticky and people are in grief. Give them a by on this one. If other issues are bothering you, discuss them with your boyfriend and get his feedback.
Well technically you’re not family and if you want marry you why would you even have the child calling him daddy apparently he doesn’t really want to be responsible for the child so what’s the point
Just make your own obituary when it means so much to you.
Your making a big deal out of nothing. You say you love this family but are upset about not being mentioned in the obituary? There are bigger issues in life that being upset about that.
Maybe someone in their grief simply made a mistake and this is nothing to worry about
When family’s deal with all the paperwork, full of grief its easy to mess things up. Have you ask them if it was intentional? I’m willing to bet it wssrnt.
Ask them why they didn’t add you before never talking to them again. Then make your decision.
Get over this. You are not legally a family member and neither is your daughter. Though your feelings have been bruised, and I am not saying it is not legitimate, this is really a non-issue. Are you happy with your boyfriend, is he happy with you and your daughter? If the answer is yes, let it go. If, on the other hand, your answer is no, move on.
I would cut ties if this is an ongoing thing. They don’t like you and it I’d just going to keep going on.
No… you are not married. The man passed away. Being part of his obituary is not that important.
You have seen other tidbits from this family I’m sure. If your boyfriend is defending them on this, then yes, it may be something to look at. Sit down in a quiet place, think over or list the arguments, heated conversations, comments from his family up until now. That will help you decide the path you need to take.
Hello to you. I dont know american tradition about this. But un russian community we don’t get invited to go to obituary.
Everyone comes who wants to say goodbye to the person.
Also not sure what state you un and covid-19 restrictions.
How petty can anyone get , so what if you were left out of an obituary?
your daughter is not related to him so get over it.
Deal with your boyfriend and leave your daughter and the rest of the family out of it. It’ll only make it worse.
You shouldn’t be added because you are a girlfriend, you are NOT FAMILY! Only family members are listed in an obituary!
Ask them. It is better to be up front rather than speculating. It may have been an error. Better to ask.
Let it go,help your daughter with her grieve.and be a kind person
Karma baby karma so funny when your daughter grows up and treats them the way they are treating now
Speak to the person who wrote the obituary. It wasn’t the whole family.
I agree with Karla.
You’re just a girlfriend.
If you were married, yes otherwise if they wanted, you could be listed as a dear friend.
Life is short, move on.
Get over it,…your daughter should be your only concern …
No you are not married to him, so no.
You are only a girlfriend, not a family member.
Death is not a time for fighting,
The same happened to me. It’s their loss.
Oh, come on!! There are more serious things to worry about.
Don’t be petty. Life is hard, concentrate on the good stuff.
The probably only included survived by as in blood relatives. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 years and he’s raised my son since he was 5. I would never expect to be in any of his family members obituaries. Honestly you’re not married and the child isn’t related to them.
Stressful time for everyone. Probably an oversight. Don’t dwell on it.
There is a difference between friends and families.
You were not married to the son
The family was grieving give them some slack
Forgive. Forget. Move on for your daughter’s sake.
Are you family? If not, you don’t belong in the obit.
yes if they added others then i would be pissed.
You’re not married. Have no legal connection to his family. Not appropriate to include you/your daughter’s names.
I kind of know how you feel. However, being a man and only child, didn’t have but two friends growing up, sometimes I was shunned, why, who knows . I learned to be self reliant, my philosophy as I grew older, ages 4,5,6, i realized I didn’t need friends like that. I learned to pick my friends, not them pick me. If they were abusive and unfriendly, I dropped them, stopped playing with them. Learned how to amuse myself. If they weren’t friends to me I didn’t need them to be happy and content! Now that I’m old, 73, that’s still my philosophy, like me or not, my choice. It doesn’t mean I’ll be ugly, rude or unfriendly, just choose when. Was also an only child! Learned at very early age how to amuse myself!!! Even at my age now, my philosophy hasn’t changed!
This is stupid ,get your own friends,
You said “boyfriend”.
Why in the world do you feel you should have been added in the first place.
This is a no brainer. Dump
them like the trash they are.
It seems to run in the family.
Let it be their ugly mistake, dont make it yours.
But dont blame your bf for their stupid crap
Thst was straight up shitty
The Obit is about the deceased… not you.
You are not family. Stop being weird.
When my Mom died, I forgot to put my Sisters husband and my Moms Sister and I spelt so many names wrong, people got heated, They said a few things to me afterwards, but my response will always be the same… WHO CARES, MY MOM DIED, I WROTE IT WITH A BROKEN HEART. I’m sorry you got left out, but seriously who cares, A MAN DIED, Your article spoke nothing of him, only of your own feelings…
I was adopted with my brothers. The man my mom married. Now after his death. My mom and step brothers said. Your not really a xxxxx. Your adopted. You are not able to have certain things. Xxx family things. I had them around me before he came along. This has given me inter strength once is grew older. I’m sorry she has to go threw this.
Maybe try being mature and talk to them about it instead of just “They did this one thing that made me feel inferior and not cared about so I’m taking my daughter away from the only family she know”
No. If you are not immediate family, why should you be included? Get over yourself.
I feel u…experienced something similar when my mother-in-law passed…a thorn of a story ending…
Let your boyfriend ask why. Than just let it go. As much as it hurt it can not be changed now, so sorry.
Someone in his family doesn’t like you and or your child…I’m sorry
Just ask your boyfriend.
Self centered much. To take a families moment of grief and make it about you. You. Should apologize for being a selfish coot
Seriously, that seems a little petty!
Sounds like Randy’s family his sister’s (except Tami) treated me like shit. Family pictures I was never allowed in as a girlfriend or after I married him. Randy finally put his foot down. Was tired of their behavior and doesn’t have anything to do with them. Took 25 years. He should have done it a lot sooner. That is one of the top reasons we moved away. Would I put up with it again no. Life is too short to be ignored or treated like shit. They both should speak to them then if it doesn’t work out severe ties.
I know your hurting just remember your love for this man and the relationship your daughter had with him tell her she was and is loved that’s all that matters