I have a 14 years old and I make her father pay child support and there was the 2 times he went to jail for not paying his child support and lost his privilege to drive and now he has a job and he has his license privileges back and he still hates me but I’m doing what’s best for her and his mom been in and out of her life for 13 years
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Don’t drop it. It’s his responsibility and he needs to man up and take care of his child. You don’t get to just walk away from the same responsibility, so why should he. Nope. I wouldn’t do it. The reason for them taking his stimulus, suspending his license, and putting out a warrant is cuz he ain’t paying. And if he don’t get his act together, they’re just gonna keep doing it until he does. If he gets off the drugs and gets a job and starts bein an adult, he won’t have those problems.
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Drop it u aint getting anything anyway. Except watching his life get more ruined. If ur spiteful and want revenge dont drop it. But you got his parents help and support which is more then alot of ppl can say.
Let him try to better himself he’ll always feel behind if they’re after his momey before he even earns it. Its discouraging…U cant help others when u cant take care of yourself. Ive gotten more peace and more help dropping it.
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No do not drop the case. It’s on him to support his child. Be sure to keep the stimulus check you and your child need it, especially if he hasn’t given you anything in 10 years. I don’t think they would have told him to get you to drop the case anyway. He has to support her until she is 18 years old, longer if she goes to college . He needs to pay and you need to be sure you get the money so support her
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Dont do it! As someone who used to work in family court and child support you will screw yourself. The least he can do is pay and it he doesn’t then too bad his taxes will continue to be taken and he wont get his driver license. He made the bed he needs to lay in it
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No do not drop the child support. Be needs to step up and be a man and take responsibility for his daughter the reason he hasn’t paid anything is because everyone feels sorry for him. That support is for your daughter, when she gets older the cost gets more expensive. Save it for college of a car. Or something could happen to you it’s there to help support your daughter. If you don’t need it now open a savings account for her to use. Quit feeling sorry for him. He needs to grow a pair and take care of his obligations.
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He needs to see where he is at and that he is wanting to put his needs before your daughter’s. He needs to step up and man up. If he is doing drugs as you say he is then the reason for not having a job is not because of the child support case. it is more probable that he cannot pass a drug test. The child support case is there to ensure the needs of your daughter, you are the only voice she has right now stay strong and do what is right for her. No one likes to have to pay child support however when they are unwilling to do the right thing the program is there to help them do the right thing.
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By dropping it, you would be enabling his behaviors of not stepping up and being an adult. Don’t drop it. It sounds as if you get a lot of help from his family and you fear perhaps not dropping it- you wouldn’t get any help from his mother and father. He should be held accountable regardless. Let them enable him- not you.
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Absolutely do not drop it. He is the one responsible for losing his stimulus by being behind on support payments. Its his fault. Not yours. And no place will deny a job just bc a person has to pay child support. He is full of bullshit excuses!
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Do not drop it.
Tough love.
He needs to own up. If you do fo that, hell spend it on drugs! You’d be enabling him…
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DO NOT DROP THE CASE!! What has happened to him is not your fault or your responsibility. It is his. He caused these problems for himself and your daughter should not be punished for them and neither should you. Let him him call but let him know if its about dropping the case you will hang up and then do so if he does. Sounds mean but so is neglecting his financial support of his daughter.
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Absolutely NO! He is 30 years old. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life and his daughter. Obviously drugs are more important to him.
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His choices, his consequences. Welcome to adulthood. And if he isn’t giving you the money and being supported by his parents, then what is he doing with his time and life? You can only play the victim so long. He needs to grow up. Maybe jail will finally do that.
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How much emotional “money” are you spending on this “father”? If your daughter is already ten and he still hasn’t stepped up, it may be not even help with a court case. At the end of the day, he will not have the respect from his daughter. We all grow old and the chickens will come room to roost. She may never be there for him because he was never there for her. You continue to raise her in the way you have. Self worth has nothing to do with monetary support, if he isn’t going to do it…
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If you drop the case you are doing exactly what he wants and not holding him accountable. When you start holding people accountable your life with drastically change.
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First I can not believe that any Child Enforcement Agency would EVER suggest to a party on either side to drop the case or ask to drop the case. He’s being manipulative. DO NOT EVEN CONSIDER THIS!! Your child deserve every last penny entitled to her by the law. The only time he will lawfully be done paying child support is 1) your child turns 18 or 2) you get married and your husband adopts her. Please do not fall for this.
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Girl bye ! Do not drop your case it’s time for him to stand up and be a man , of he had been doing what a man is supposed to do then they wouldn’t have taken his money so now deal with the consequences
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No maam, he doesn’t deserve to have it dropped. He needs to grow the f up. It is just like my youngests dad. He hasn’t been paying but he hates the thought that I would hold him responsible for his actions. You keep that child support case open until she is an adult!!!
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Coming from this first hand… HELL NO. It doesn’t matter if he’s never helped… HE SHOULD BE! You didn’t make her yourself! And I’m sorry but the longer he doesn’t pay the worse it will get and that means it’s time for him to grow up and become an adult and help out. Sorry not sorry!
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Thats his own damn fault!! He has no one to blame but himself! I wouldnt drop it. Hes manipulating you and making it all about poor ol him! Get your money!
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Sounds to me he is money hungry just like my ex! He is upset he didnt get that stimulus check and knows his wages will be garnished if he gets a job. You keep that case open and maybe he will eventually open his eyes and do the right thing!
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No don’t drop it he needs to take responsibility. CS case isn’t stopping him from getting a job hes doing that himself
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Dont do it!! If not paying child support is causing problems in his life maybe he should get a job step up and be a dad and help raise her!! It is a man’s job to help support his children. I raise 2 kids all by myself as their dad is a dead beat too and hasn’t worked in a few years but I will never remove the child support order. I do what I am supposed to and if he wont help emotionally or financially it’s not my job to make his life easier. It’s my job to raise happy and healthy children and make sure his short comings affect them as little as possible. Dont give him a free pass to being a shitty parent!
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Do not drop. You will loose ins to if you drop. He needs to support one way or another. Do not feel sorry for the mistakes he has made. Period.
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I wouldn’t drop it. He’s a man and needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life.
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Don’t let your compassion for people allow you to enable them! I’m going through something similar, I feel bad, but I don’t forget the bullshit! He made his bed! When he shows love and compassion for your kid, puts them first, before there self/drugs then maybe you have something to “work with” right know it don’t seem like it.
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Dont so it. Make him go to court and pay support. It’s his child too. I put up with that from my ex for ever. He only had to pay $12.01 for two kids. He couldn’t do that. By the time my kids were 16 and 17 he had to pay $94.00 and didnt even wanna do that. The court made him. She deserves to be taken care of by both PARENTS.
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Do not drop the case. I never received any support except $289 that was intercepted from income tax. f he has money for drugs he has money to give her for support.!
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Not to seem harsh but well maybe a warrant for his arrest and some time in jail will help him grow up and own up to adulting. He is just trying to get you to keep him out of jail. I am sure his parents are fed up as well but have guilt.
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One word…no. She is his child. His parents can help if they want to but he should provide for her
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If he truly cared then he would find a job and make payments. If he is continuously making payments and shows good effort, he could get his license reinstated… I wouldn’t drop it. He could at least show effort of trying
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Do not drop the child support order my children are 32 and 33 years old and their father still owes me mega money he just call ed last week asking me to drop the order for all the same reasons and I think not
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I would say fuck no and get a restraining order for harassment
There is no beimg nice and cordial with these kinds of ppl. They take advantage. That’s all they know. GET OUT OF HIS HELP CIRCLE. ur Job is that baby and thats it. There is child support enforcement there for that reason
He did not get that way over night. He dug his hole let him play in it
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Don’t drop it. He wants an easy out. At least the money is being used for something worth while, if you drop the case, it will support his habit and not your daughter. I had to do the same with mt ex who always thought he was picked on and its sad and immature that they feel that way
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DO NOT DROP THE CASE… Thats only bettering things for him and taking even more grom yalls daughter… Its his fault he wont work or support her… Cs is there for a reason for dads like him… You will regret it later if you drop it… 9 TIMES OUT OF 10 THEY WILL NOT PICK IT BACK UP LATER IF YOU TRY… If u drop it thats telling them you dont want his help an hes free to do what he wants
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Don’t do it! I’m in the same boat with my daughter’s father. My husband has also always taken care of his daughter with NO help from her bio mom so he is doing the same thing. You make the child, you help take care of the child!
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No no no no no stop being a mat he walks on everyone helps him he never grows up no no no he needs to straighten up and get his act together he did this to himself your daughter deserves so much more!!! He needs to stop getting bailed out and grownup!!! On top of it all I dont think you have control over this to stop it tell him get it together and be a man
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Is court ordered by the court for him to pay child support, Sorry to say I wouldn’t be back down
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Don’t drop the case, it has been 25 years since I got custody of my grandson, his mother paid vs til he turned 19, but his dad just started paying this year. He asked me to drop vs case against him because my grandson no longer lives with me. I told him no because his son deserves every penny.
No no n no don’t feel bad he just wants the new check they are talking about but honestly how much of that do u think he will be giving u for ur daughter 0 I bet no way girl make him grow up on his own he can get a job with a CS case he just don’t want them to take from his check that’s y he don’t n there is always public transportation until he does all the steps to getting his DL it is possible they may even give it to him just to go to work n home i know a few people with that
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Do not drop it. You don’t owe him anything emotionally or financially. Let him feel the consequences for his choices, someone needs to, it’s apparent that his parents enable him enough. If he has time to use drugs and harrass you, then he has time to work and spend time with his child. His only priority is himself and not her or you. Don’t give your decision another thought and use your free time to focus on your daughter. 
DON’T DROP IT!!! He has a responsibility just as well as you do. Don’t make the child suffer because her father doesn’t want to help take care of her; so sad!
NO! I felt sorry for my ex when he lost his job and couldn’t afford child support. Then 3 years after that I woke up and took his ass back to court. He still didnt have a job. But they forced him to get a job and the court turned child support back on.
That’s extra money for drugs… If you truly care about what’s best for your child and even him, you shouldn’t drop it. I’m in the same boat. I question all the time if what I’m doing is right or not. I truly haven’t seen a penny and miss work for every court case. It is a shame. If he would just try to have a any kind of help but he refuses. It breaks my heart to see a child in need… I could call right now begging for help and he would just get paid and just think it’s my problem not his.
before dropping, make sure there is no impact to other forms of assistance you are receiving or may want to receive in the future. this was well over 10 years ago that my significant other mentioned his ex did not file for child support but instead a government entity filed on her behalf when she submitted paperwork for a school lunch food program.
Drop it. I have known too many mothers, including myself, that have fought and lost. It’s not worth the hassle. Ask him if he would give part of his stimulus check to you. If he can’t, let that go too
Don’t drop it. If he’s healthy enough to work he should help support his child. If he is not healthy then he should take steps to get disability or something that would enable him to provide some type of support. But believe me if he can always afford his drug of choice he can afford that stimulus to go to his child, he just doesn’t know it …yet
The stimulus check should have gone to you. You should check on that to see where it went. Tell him to get a job, start by paying small amount of child support every week. And if he does and continues to do that you will drop the case.
He choose to be a parent, and needs to grow up.
But then again… You can’t make a person grow up.
I understand where you are in your decision, all I can really say, is do what feels right to you… What decision you can live with.
Good luck!!
As one who has had to pay child support, it ruined my financial life, cfs is fixing to get sued over it and the grandmother that caused the mess too cc as it and all the stress caused me and my husband to have heart attacks two weeks apart (he was having the widow maker, and I needed a quintuple bypass) so think very hard about it. I was not working many hours, and I was jailed because I stood up to a judge with the truth and I lost housing, job, and later health.
Don’t drop it make him responsible and don’t enable him like the rest of the people do in his life it is your job as a parent to make sure your child is taken care of first he didn’t have to do drugs he chose to do them over your child and if he did get the money back he would just use it on drugs
Truth is he is not gonna take responsibility. He will go to jail spend that time in their get out and do the same thing. Even if the case is there doesn’t mean he will ever pay. And if he does it will never be consistent. Truth is you should take his rights away period. Your doing it by yourself anyways .
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You will probably never see any help financially from him and that’s sad!! I say keep the case to make him realize he has a responsibility towards his daughter and to stop asking you to drop the child support case!! I know personally what a struggle it is being a single mom and raising a child (in my case 2 girls 16 months apart) with little or no help financially from “the sperm donor” (he doesn’t deserve to be called Dad if he can’t take care of his responsibilities). He has to face the consequences of his actions and he owes it to his daughter to support her also!! Good Luck!
Don’t drop.I raised my two i fathered and three who’s father has still never paid a dime of any kind of support.Never did any time or paid any penalty for not helping with his kids.The youngest was 7 years old before she saw him for the first time then he came around and lied to them.Your actions may not change him,but no matter what he will not help.He will gloat bacause he got over on you and the kids again.
Do not drop it! He’s just going to spend it on drugs. It’s time he takes responsibility. Where there is a will there’s a way. He should be working.
I’d drop the case. Honstely he hasn’t paid a dime in 10 years what makes you think hes gonna suddenly pay later. Even if he goes to jail it might or might not ruin the relationship you have with his parents. Tho some parents would say he made his bed now he can lay in it. You have been doing such a good job on your own and your daughter sees that. It will be less stressful to drop it and move on.
Don’t do it. He will just buy drugs and could overdose. He needs to live with the consequences of his actions. Maybe going to jail will save his life. I feel like it saved my daughters life even though it was very hard to see her there.
I don`t think I would drop it, You may not get anything from him now, But later your child can take him to court & it may help her to get into collage. By then he will be so far behind, He may end up loaded later on, you never know, But no matter how old your daughter gets, He still will owe her that.
DO NOT DROP IT! He is a man and needs to take responsibility. He needs to make every effort to support that child, be it a 2nd job or something but do not drop it. Hugs!
Don’t drop it. He helped create her so now hecan help take care of her. You play you pay. He needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions.
Dnt drop nothing. He dnt deserve that stimulus check. He dnt feel bad for neglecting his child. Dnt feel bad let wht ever happen. I been there and done all of it.
Absolutely not!! He helped create her so therefore he should help support her.
I know exactly how you feel my sons father was/is the same way except his parents don’t help me either. I dropped the case because I said fuck it hes ruining his life just fine on his own this way he can’t try to blame me or my kid. I also asked him to sign his rights over and I never bother him mu don’t is 15 now and he ask questions and I tell him to ask his donor. So thats his punishment cause he is still on drugs and doesn’t have shit and no one to blame but his self!
I don’t think you should drop the case
My reason is that he needs to grow up and
Take responsibility
Dropping it will be a disservice to your child
His parents will not always be there
Do not drop it. My son is 10 years old. His dad and his family do anything for my son. He keeps as me to drop it. I will not. Cause when my son ask his dad why he didn’t help him with me. The guy lies so much. I have proof that his day didn’t do anything for him. Thank God for my family.
HELL NO! Don’t ever drop child support no matter what. He deserves to have his taxes and stimulus check taken if he ain’t paying any other way. You and your child deserve whatever money you can get out of him. You didn’t make her on your own so why support her on your own. Please don’t ever ever drop child support at all for any reason.
Don’t drop it it he responsibility to make sure his daughter is taken care of if he’s on drugs he not going to better yourself just going to use the money for the drug
Don’t drop it! He needs to help with his child. That’s his responsibility as a parent.
Drop it if he signs away his parental rights. Otherwise he should pay it deal with the consequences of his action or in action in his case. Going to jail would probably be the best thing for him.
No. He is the one that helped you make your daughter not his parents. It’s nice that they help you and that you know that you can go to them for their support. You should n ok t let him ok ff the hook. By dropping the case he would get a stimulus check that would help him. Where’s the help to you that HE should have been giving all these years. Good luck. Keep strong.
Keep going for it. My 2 daughters Dad said he’d help out when he left us. He also asked me not to get hold of them. 17yrs went by an I’d found out he’d had a great life with his wife an there 2 children, One of my most biggest regrets in life. Be strong if you don’t want to use the money for your child, put it in a secure savings account. Best of luck, You are Strong xx
If you win his parents will be paying it not him. You say they already help you. I would drop it he will not grow up I learned from experience
Don’t drop it ever, make him go to jail, let him work to get his butt out just like you are having to do. I totally understand where you are at with this. They will say anything to make you feel like you are the one and only at fault but, you ARE NOT at fault!! Stick with it! He can either pay or detox in jail!!!
This will not benefit you or your daughter. Look out for yourself! He doesn’t deserve your help!
Dont drop it …
He will owe all that in back child support… trust me I know …
My sons fathers was never in his life from day one but boy does he owe child support from day one … guess what’s helping pay for college now that my son has graduated high school…
Just saying …
I would say nope! He hasn’t grown in any form or even tried to from what you say. If he wants his license and not go to jail then he can get a job and pay on his child support like a real man does.
No not until he accepts responsibility first get himself well it’s not your fault not your daughters fault he can’t grow up don’t enable
Are you getting any support. The state I live in, the state pays court ordered support and THEY go after the dead beat.
I live in Wisconsin.
If your support hasn’t been court ordered, and you take him to court, YOU get back pay.
Been there done that.
Do not drop the child support case because if you do he will never do anything for your daughter and feel that he has the right to not be apart of her life. You need the help from him. Hopefully this will make him grow up and fix his life not just for your daughter but for him also. Once he do get a job and starting seeing that he has a responsibility he will than maybe get his act together once the court start garnishing his check for all the back child support that he owes. Do this for your daughter.
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Do not drop it, and do not let him guilt trip or bully you. He needs to clean up his act and become a responsible adult. If he can’t do that then whatever happens to him happens because of his own choices and it’s no one elses fault but his own!
Why? Why would you not want the help for your child. He is her other parent. He is obligated to help financially at the least.
No do not drop the child support case he needs to take responsibility for his daughter and become an adult he needs to get a job and support her.
DO NOT DROP IT! My ex played games until it got to this point. No tax returns, salary garnished, almost lost his work license. He won’t learn until… It is wonderful that his folks help, but it is HIS responsibility.
He pick a woman and drugs over his kids and now he admits he lost everything to his mom and is wanting his mom to ask me to stop and she said she wont talk to me about and that its his responsibility to take care of his kids and he hasnt seen his son in like a year and my 12 year d he saw on fathers day with supervision
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Hell no sounds like his problem to figure out not yours keep doing what your doing he dug his hole
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Nope don’t drop it, his problems are his problems. He helped make that child, he helps pay for that child. He goes to jail for not complying to the courts then that’s on him. I’d tell him to be more responsible…then goodbye.
NO!!! I’m dealing with the same thing you are only my ex’s family doent help me period. Dont drop the casehe needs to be responsible for his child too not just you
You just said it yourself- you know if you drop it you’ll never get the money.
The kid is 10 and he doesn’t pay for anything, ain’t nothing going to change he’s just using his narcissistic tactics to play on your emotions to try to guilt you into thinking that this will benefit his and your daughter’s relationship when really all he’s doing is just trying to screw you and the kiddo over yet again.
DO NOT DROP IT!!! He’s eventually going to have to grow up and quit being dependent on his parents at some point (like if/when they die). If he ends up in jail then maybe he’ll come out clean and sober.
How will it help anyone involved except him? He hasn’t helped this may be the only help you ever get.
Your daughter deserves to be taken care of by both parents…don’t you drop anything hes never done it for her…hes gotta grow up tell him to pay his child support and no worries
DONT DROP IT!! obviously hes good a manipulating and is full of excuses you must be thr first person to make him face the consequences of his actions
Why would you drop it now? What would happen if you were not able to work and take care of her alone? If I had any love for myself my child and her family I think I would have to keep do everything possible to get child support. It may be exactly what it takes for her father to get the emotional help he most likely needs.
That sounds like his problem. He had time before this to be working and taking care of his child not his parents. Good luck
He is throwing a pity party. He can make payment arrangements and ask the court to lower the monthly payment…once he does start making a dent in the balance they will work with him to get his privileges back.
Do not drop it! Him not getting a job is because of him, not the CS case. Why should you help him out? He hasn’t helped you out in 10 years. Maybe he should go to jail.
Boo fn hoo. That’s YOUR stimulus check. Let the man child figure his life out, you are not responsible for solving his financial problems. He put himself in that position, please do not be his savior.
i agree DO NOT DROP IT. his stimulas should come to u for daughters support, plus the 500.00 for her cuz she be under 17… if u di so he will always manipulate u…
He needs to get his shit together and be there for his child , it takes 2 to tango and a village to raise a child. Why should he get away with not getting himself together and be a father for his child…you are struggling to do your best, he needs to too
I would not drop it
He needs take responsibility of his child or I’d let his ass sit in jail and think about it may save his life if he’s on drugs.
If he’s not helping despite it then can’t do no harm on dropping it in my opinion … my x can’t afford it so rather then have him end up in jail I chose not get any yes it’s his job and blah blah blah but I ain’t one to see harm come to him because he ain’t able to help me it would make my kids sad if he was behind bars and my job is to make them happy