Don’t drop it! It might help him to get clean and get his act together
Uh, no, dont drop it…he needs to step up and take care of his kid. He sounds like he is trying to weasel his way outta of being responsible.
Don’t not drop the child support case. And don’t feel sorry for him, feel sorry for your daughter. I doubt they told him that.
Never feel sorry for a deadbeat, it’s sad watching a child over years trying to figure out the why the absentee parent wasn’t/isn’t there, and often it creates self esteem issues and the list goes on…feel sorry for your child not him regardless of his families involvement you’ll be doing them a favor they enabled his bad behavior and are still by the sounds of it
Screw him. Don’t enable him like his parents do. That $1200 is just going to go to drugs anyway.
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Don’t drop it. Really absolutely not. The back pay they take from him is going to you to help raise your child. It’s his problem, not yours.
Tell him you’ll drop it if he signs over his rights?
Or maybe go in and lower the amount?
My son’s dad and I did that, lowered the amount and eventually dropped it all together. But then again, he has a steady relationship with him 
. Everyone’s situation is different.
At the end of the day our opinions are mute.
Do what you feel is best for you and your daughter.
Definitely dont drop the case! Dont feel bad for him cuz i promise you he hasnt felt bad all these years not helping raise the kid he brought into this world
No, absolutely not!!
Doing so would not be in the best interest of your child, since those who are helping you financially right now have no legal obligation to do so. They could stop anytime, which would hurt your child. He is an adult who made his own choices, and now that it’s time for some accountability, he is wanting you to feel sorry for him as if he’s the victim. No way. He should be handling his responsibilities in regards to the child he helped create, and of story.
I would drop the case and cut him out of you and your daughters life completely and permanently. Unpopular opinion but it is amazing how less stressed and happier we all are when we cut people out and set them free forever.
I considering feeling bad for him until I read “on drugs and hasn’t worked in years” Don’t drop the case.
Also, grey rock him right now. Only communicate via text or email. Keep everything direct and about the child. Nothing else. Do not respond emotionally at all no matter what he says. Ignore it. I also strongly urge you to ask for drug testing through the court. You say he only sees her when she’s with his mom, but I wouldn’t trust that to be a safe situation if he’s using.
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He chose to not support his child. I wouldn’t drop the CS just because we wants his Stimulus. Guaranteed he isn’t going to give you any money for his child!
I wouldn’t drop it unless he signed over his rights. 
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Hell no. He needs to be accountable for his actions & life choices. Don’t let him off the hook. That will not only release of accountability but will also teach your daughter that you can take advantage of others. Let it build up & let him pay the consequences for being neglectful.
Girl dont drop it that’s his problem for not being a father to his daughter and own up to his responsibility smh your daughter deserves every penny from him
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He is never going to change. I have been there with my daughters father. I dropped his cs because he was 5000$ in arrears and he was in her life for 6 months and walked away for two years. After that, never again. She is 22 now and I still get that child support. And I am not dropping it
I paid for her, I bought her clothes, I paid her insurance, I paid co-pays on meds. So don’t do it!!!
Do not drop it. He is a adult and needs to be accountable for his responsibilities and actions.
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Do not drop it he needs to man up !
You have his parents support and that’s more then what most children get, mine got none, I’d personally drop it, mostly because after 10 years of not helping you, he’s not going to. Glad you can depend on his parents
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Don’t you dare drop it. Tell him to grow up and support his daughter. End of story.
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Don’t drop it. He helped created a life and that creation is nonstop financial responsibilities. He has shown you his true colors by not helping already financially and if you want to give your daughter all of her needs plus some wants without a battle CS is the way to make it happen and not have to depend on the child’s father if he will pay one time and not the next. Good luck!
Do not cancel your claim for child support. I get that you feel bad, but you shouldn’t. He hasn’t spent a dime on his child, but he can go buy drugs whenever he needs. Bet he didn’t think twice about it. Now, he is trying to manipulate you. Screw him! He doesn’t deserve that stimulus check, and if he wants his driver’s license back then he need’s to get a job and bust his ass. You are raising his daughter by yourself. The least he could do is help out financially .it’s time he grows up
If you drop it, you’re enabling him
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I dunno to me it sounds like its a waste of time and there are ways around him not paying you either way. My step father owes my mom for 18 years on 2 kids. You have his parents support to me that’s getting support on his side. Why give yourself the added stress and headache. And if he’s on drugs nothings is going to change him unless he wants to change. Just my opinion I wouldn’t waste your time as long as you continue to get support from his parents. If his parents support him where do you think he’s going to get the money from to supposed your child.
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Unpopular opinion, but if I were you and getting help from his parents, I would probably drop it because it’s just added stress for you and you already know he’s not going to start paying. I would prefer the peace of mind, personally.
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Even if you do drop it they will never give him back money they already took. lol. It’s not the CS keeping him from getting a job he just doesn’t want one.
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No …he deserves everything he gets
Well my kids kids dad said that the 3 kids was not his till a DNA test but he got the stimulus check for all of them I haven’t gotten any of it he help me doesn’t call
Fuck. No.
Make him pay.
My kid’s dad and I have been separated for years, yet I have never gone after him for child support. He is very involved in their lives, takes them every weekend, he doesn’t financially support them but he’s there for them. He is still very involved with my oldest daughter, who isn’t biologically his. He doesn’t have to be, but he chooses to be. I buy our girls school clothes, shoes, pay for daycare, in other words, I do it all. He cannot afford to pay his own bills (he’s not financially responsible) but I take it with a grain of salt and am grateful he’s involved and wants to be with his kid’s. I could take him to court and probably get quite a bit of money from him in back child support and current support. Why put my kids in a situation where one parent is so financially strapped they can’t afford to live and mad at the other parent for putting them in that situation. Did he helo create our beautiful babies, yes, but is it in their best interest for me to be s vengeful, hateful person to him because he doesn’t pay me to take care of kids that are mine as well? No. Should he help more, absolutely, but he does what he can, when he can. Would I be better off financially if he paid me to take care of our kids, Yes. It’s not worth the stress of putting him through the courts. The court doesn’t need to be involved in our lives and tell us when and where either of us can have our kids. If he has something be needs to do on the weekend I pick our girls up earlier. If I need him to keep them for awhile on a week day, he does so. It’s adulting and being parents that work together for the good of our kids and their mental health. They don’t need to see us fighting over them and especially not about money. Every situation is different so you do what you think you need to do. Sounds like your child is very much blessed with his parents that are willing and able to help you when you need it. Should it be baby dad, yes, but it’s not up to the custodial parent to tell the other parent where they should be getting their money from. Most have this desire to control everything that is about our kids, but they have another parent that we chose to have a child with, once that relationship ends, we have no right to interfere in that relationship unless there is a serious, life threatening danger to our child. If he does drugs with your child is one thing, but sounds like he is with his parents when he sees this child, be glad he is involved. There are many that aren’t willing to be involved in any capacity, there are single parents out there doing the parenting alone because the other parent has passed. Be blessed with what your child has with the dad and grandparents. I would love for my kids to be able to have that relationship with the grands, but their grandpa passed many years ago before they came along and their dad’s mom has dementia so she can’t be involved. Pray for him, but don’t try to tell him what he needs to do, God will deal with him on his judgement day. Spend time loving your child, less time trying to control the other parent, it’ll never work and your child may be angry with you later, should it find out you refused to allow them time with the rest of their family because of money.
Oh, you mean he wants you to contribute to his drug fund when he isn’t helping you support the whole ass person he helped create? I don’t fucking think so! Do you want your daughter to have her needs and wants provided for, or do you want her deadbeat dad to have his drug money? 
Don’t do it. He needs to take responsibility too.
Get him in jail clean him up. That’s what the system is for.
No you don’t drop the case!!
hold strong girl you need him to take some responsibility
Dude just drop it I have two kids different daddies and have never seen a dime if you are doing better without him fuck it leave him be
Don’t do it. Absolutely not.
Your not hurting him. He did this. You don’t owe him any favors. You have no reason to drop a thing. It’s called grow up and be a man and take care of your responsibilities. His family is great for helping you out with their granddaughter. But they and you need to stop enabling baby daddy.
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Stand your ground cos if he goes to jail, it maybe a wake call for him.
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Dont close your case my sons father isnt paying his support and they took his check as well and his unemployment but everytime we go back to court hes crying about hes not working but has 2 children that live in the home with him and his wife. He doesnt spend any time with my son either. I sent my son to live with my daughter because he refused to go to follow my house rules but that was after i asked his father to get him he refused stating that his wife didnt trust my son. So now that the cs is coming after him he went to court claiming he didnt agree with me sending my son to live with my daughter. I send the support directly to my son and also send extra for him. So no dobt give him any kind of break even if his parents are helping you. She deserves to have him in her life one way or the other. And sad to say his parents need to stop doing stuff for him because they are just enabling him not to get a job.
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Heeeeellllllllllllllll fucking no. Hell no. You keep that case. You and your baby may not NEED the money but why should he get a financial break when you never get to do that shit.
Block him and keep pursuing. He’s not getting anything back. He did this to himself.
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No you will be screwed later if there is alot of paper work ect a freind was told it would not cost anything so she dropped it 3 months latter she got a big bill in mail
Hell no! That’s his damn problem. If he was paying child support, they wouldn’t have taken his check you didn’t make her on your own, you shouldn’t have to pay for her on your own. It’s HIS responsibility, not his parents. And paying child support does not prevent you from getting a job, his drug use does. Don’t have him an easy it just cause he’s harassing you, you and your daughter deserve better and deserve for him to help financially support her. Unless he wants to give up his parental rights to her, he needs to be paying for the life he created
Don’t drop it, its for his daughter
The only way I would even consider it would be if he gave up his parental rights and fucked off
Don’t drop that case…
No no! Do not drop it.
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My ex tried blaming me for him being behind on his child support and blamed me for his driver’s license getting taken away…your ex and my ex have/had no one to blame but themselves. Do not drop it
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Absolutely not!! He dosent deserve it dropped I could see if he was active and contributing to her life
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NO… i mean you could but then thats the easy way out.
Don’t do it. You don’t owe him a damn thing.
Girl do NOT. DROP. THE. CASE. it’s his problem. He don’t wanna work he can sit in jail with no license.
Did that check go to you??? And no, you shouldn’t. He doesn’t deserve a stimulus check if he’s not paying child support like he’s supposed to. Those checks are for people paying taxes and doing the right thing.
My sisters ex owes back child support. He did not get it, they mailed it to her. I guess if you feel bad enough and get it in the mail you can give it to him 
So obviously he was working to get a stimulus check but he never paid cs or helped with your child. Don’t drop it
I’m in the same situation. My thoughts are he’s broke, irresponsible but loves his son and his son loves him. locking him up won’t do anything but shit worse.
So here’s what I did to keep the case but keep him out of jail. You can go down to the child support office and just cancel enforcement. He still owes every month but since it is not enforced (wages not garnished etc) no warrant. Doesn’t take away back child support either. I could write the same exact post but as a parent there comes a time to stop being petty and take the emotions out of it. What do you think is the best solution? Him in jail, no
Child support, no relationship with his daughter, endless cycle of being in the system because of CS? I don’t believe so.
Oh dont do that. Poor him…he could sober up…that’s a idea …dont do it. He is trying to play you. You need the suport for 8 . 9 years !
First he can’t get that check back it now belongs to the child support system until it comes through to you. Secondly do not by any means drop the case because your absolutely right in that it will just enable his behavior. He is never going to change and even with the order in place he still will never be the dad she deserves… she is 10 now it will never change and your daughter will grow tired of his crap. Too bad for him that he has all of that happening… I’m sure you’ve struggled at some point with things and he needs to be held responsible for not doing what’s right!
I’m in the same situation! Be strong! DO NOT DROP THE CASE!!!
Do NOT and I repeat Do NOT drop the child support case. No judge will take all his wages to the point where he can’t live. If he really wants you to stop child support, then my suggestion is to sign off his parents rights. Ultimately you’re the one who has to make the decision. You will know what to do for your child. I’ve been thru all this before, it’s never easy. You’re not the only one going thru this.
Don’t drop it. Tell him man up
Don’t do it!!! They’ll say anything to you to get you to drop it. He needs to get it together and help take care of that child he helped make
No, why would you drop it? It isn’t about you or him, it’s about your kid, and he isn’t doing right by her. Do not let him off the hook.
The money belongs to your child. Don’t drop it.
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Don’t drop the case that money is rightfully your daughters. He pawns off his responsibility as a Dad to his parents. Not your problem he doesn’t pay tell him to take it up with child support
Nope. Your child deserves that money. Ignore him
Thats his problem not your daughter’s why take from her to enable him
Dont drop it and he wont get the stimulus back he is worried about the next stimulus , tell him to get a job and pay his support and grow up . Why isnt his support taken out of his checks from working ?
It is CHILD support anyways meaning support for the child- YOUR CHILD.
My honest thoughts. DO NOT DROP IT. As single parents or in your case single mom we don’t get to decide not to support our children. We don’t get to say no food, no clothing, no
Necessities you need. We have to provide even if it’s our last penny or we work ourselves to the bone. It’s not fair he gets to decide he can’t or won’t. If we did what some of these other parents did DHS (child protective services) would come and get our children. I wouldn’t do it but that’s just me. (It would be different if he would try but from what you say he doesn’t) don’t feel bad!
He needs to held accountable. Do NOT feel guilty. These are the life choices HE is making.
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NO!! He made that child with you he needs to man up and be responsible. It is not your job to do it by yourself and it for damn sure is not his parents responsibility. If he does not want to pay he needs to sign his rights over.
Frankly I would…
you haven’t really needed him all these years. Plus you don’t need your daughter around any drugs whatsoever.
I would suggest taking out a life insurance policy on him though. You know for general purposes Incase he over doses or something. At least you’d get something out of It.
I mean I would just drop it personally so I wouldn’t have to deal with it. BM owes $20,000+ and we’re dropping it soon
Why should you do him favors when he cant even bother to see his kid? Fuck him …and tho his parents pick up his slack they are his main enablers and that’s their problem not yours.
Do not drop it! I have the same exact issues with my ex. The stimulus check is for your children. A roof over their head, food, clothes, etc.
Don’t drop it. Unless he’s willing to give up his rights.
Your daughter deserves better. Tough $hit for him. He needs to take care of his child. This is why children do not value theirself. Let your daughter be more important and know she is more important than he is making her. I lived this but I always fought to make sure my children knew their worth and how much they are loved.
A little different perspective… what are you gaining by keeping it? Does it really matter? My daughters father had about $20k in back child support from 12 years. I wiped it all when he signed his rights over because I knew we would never see it any way. My child didnt loose anything! You do whatever is best for you and your child
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Dont drop the case. Your child needs supplies to. Its hard enough to get things your child needs with the pandemic going on. Its the only thing that will help support your child. His own fault for having a child and not being able to support the child or picking up his responsibility as a parent.
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Don’t drop it . Ever!!
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Fuck off! Don’t drop nothing! That asshole needs to grow up and take responsibility for his child! You have too, so why can’t he!?
I can’t believe you have to even give this a thought. ABSOLUTELY NOT! Takes two to make a child. Takes two to raise them. If he doesn’t want to be there emotionally… he can financially and if he isn’t it’s all money in the bank. If he ever get a law suit, wins the lotto, or gets this next round of stimulus check. Then you get that for raising your child. He should not get away with not paying or get out of it.
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Nope. He is trying to manipulate you. In most states, he can apply for a hardship license that allows him to drive to and from work until he makes a purge payment to get his regular license back. Also, it’s not your problem or your daughter’s problem. He should be a man and do the right thing. I would not feel sorry one bit for him.
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Nope, that would be enabling him. He’s a grown man let him figure it out.
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Don’t you dare that money is yours, he is only going to buy drugs with it anyways.
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Stand your grounds. Men always get the easy way out and yes, child support is the easiest way out. That’s just money compared to all the sleepless nights & frustration you get ESPECIALLY from 10 years?! He doesn’t deserve that stimulus check and he should work anyways. Plus, being on drugs must cost a lot. How hard is it to sacrifice a few from addiction and help support your own kid? Smh. Don’t give him an easier way out. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE.
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I have the exact same situation. My son’s about to turn 9. “Dad” hasn’t been actively involved in years. He’s already lost his license and went to jail. Owes almost 15,000. He won’t file his taxes because it’s pointless they’ll just give it all to me. 
Says it’s my fault his life is the way it is. He has an older child he signed his rights off to. And 2 younger children that he’s like a revolving door. But their mama would never file for CS. I won’t ever drop the child support. I have let him do laundry at my house, take a shower. Bought his household food. He never repaid me. I asked him if he could get our son a cheap pair of Walmart shoes that could get tore up. He just needed something for playtime. Nope he couldn’t do it. Can’t help someone who won’t help themselves. He’s a mechanic. He mostly works for cash under the table. I bought a car. He said he would fix it for me. I gave him money to buy the parts for it. He blew me off. He drove the car around with a leak in the motor for 2 weeks. The police came knocking because the car was involved in suspicious activity and I had to report it stolen for the POS to bring it back. And he never gave me back the money. Supposedly he bought the parts but I never saw them. He also cut the muffler off the car and sold it when he had it. Anyways long story short. I’ll never drop the child support because he will never be responsible and one day my son might get what is owed to him and it still won’t be enough to make up for the hurt that’s been caused by not having his dad around. Thankfully my other kids dad loves his like his own. Don’t drop it mama.
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Sucks to suck. Don’t you dare stop it.
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Sure if he wants to give up his rights to her. Obviously he doesn’t care now so what will it hurt? If you find someone who cares for you and your child then they can step up to the plate for her
They are not going to give him that money back. It’s for back child support. You and your daughter deserve it.
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Do NOT drop that case. So what if it hurts him!?! Its not about the money, it’s about FORCING him to take responsibility for the child he help create. If he still chooses not too, he loses everything, like he is now. HIS FAULT.
Don’t drop it, his only looking for the easy way out, and since they are saying that another check is coming he doesn’t want that money to go to his daughter, the one that deserves that and much much more,let him pay the consequence of his irresponsibility, they dont deserve our compassion, they’re not carrying for their children so why should you be for him? Good luck.
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Don’t drop it… is she going to stop growing and needing things??? His parents do for her because she’s their grandchild but they are not obligated it is solely out of love! If you (her custodial parent)neglected her to any degree, you know what the consequences would be.
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No maam…Do NOT DROP it…do not enable his irresponsible actions…if he can’t seem to do much 4 his daughter the least he could do is stop being selfish and just let the child recieve the money she deserves…let this man pay the consequences and if he hasn’t felt bad for you …why should you!
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He needs to realize he made a choice 20 years ago to become I father he needs to be her father and if he chooses not to be in her life the least he can do is support her future it’s unfortunate that his parents choose to enable his bad behavior don’t you start enabling him now keep fighting for what’s best for your daughter
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No, Because he is responsible for Supporting her. She did not ask to be born. He is not a man if he doesn’t help support her financially , physically, mentally and spiritually.
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OK Why is he getting a stimulus check? Is he claiming her or something without living with him? None of my business but seriously
DO NOT DROP ANYTHING!
Looks like he doesn’t support your daughter in any way. If he’s on drugs he’ll be using that money for that purpose.
HE & ONLY HE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN ACTIONS !
So don’t feel bad for whatever he’s going through, it’s his fault NOT YOURS!
As long as your doing your best for your child the rest is out of your hands!
LET HIM DEAL WITH CONSEQUENCES.
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Do not drop it. He was there to help make her, he should be responsible just as you are. I know its frustrating, I never got any help from my 30 year olds father. One day if he grows up and changes his life and is employed, you will possibly get something. You can always hope, but don’t rely on it. His parents need to stop enabling him too. It is awesome they are so helpful and such. Stay steady Mom, your doing the right thing.
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