No. His parents are enabling him. Maybe if he goes to jail he’ll sober up, get a job & be responsible for once. Do NOT drop the CS!!!
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If he wants the case to be dropped so bad he needs to show he cares for his kid and get a job so can help you financially. I’m glad his parents are helping it’s good to have support but for some things he should be able to pay for like clothes and other important needs and at least chip in half for activities that does cost a lot. If hes worried about going to jail that’s on him he should’ve been careful and fought harder for whatever that situation is. You need to take care of you and your child and kids are a lot of money.
Please don’t drop the case.If he has to go to jail that might be the best place for him right now.I grew up with a drug addict and it is not fun.Your daughter does not deserve a dad that doesn’t care about her
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Don’t drop the case!!! That’s just enabling his bad behavior. His parents could just as easily paid his support for him. They choose instead to still meet your daughters needs at the same time holding him responsible. He needs to own his decisions and the consequences of those decisions. The reason he can’t get a job has nothing to do with your daughter.
Consequences can teach valuable lessons in life. When does he need to be responsible and not enabled and entitled?
He would not be able to keep his stimulus check if he owes child support. They will garnish his wages but that doesn’t mean he can’t get a job. That’s BS. Do not drop the case! If he wants to see her he needs to help support her. Good luck!
He needs to be responsible. Excuses don’t make for a good example for a father. Either all the way in or out of the kids life.
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Definetly do not drop the case…he needs to be responsible just like you are. Don’t feel bad for him. He doesn’t care if your daughter has what she needs hes only thinking of himself
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Do NOT drop the case…! That is enabling him! Change your Phone #! If he owes you back child support, the stimulus check will come straight to you…! Where it should come! He will only spend it on this addiction! Pay for Cheer Class your daughter wants. Good Bless you and her Grandparents.
My daughter is 16 and my ex is over $25,000 behind in child support he called me special to let me know I’d be getting his money from the government lol I was waiting for him to ask for it back 
he hasn’t done a thing for his daughter and she likes to point out the one birthday gift she has ever gotten a bean bag chair she was 6 or 7. I’ve never dropped our case and feel it’s useless they told him that once she turns 18 it’s all forgiven 
I don’t know how true that is.?.
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Pray of course. But do not drop it. He is again manipulating you to do what he wants and what is .best for.him. Been there done that. So very sorry u r dealing with this. But hire a.lawyer and get.what your.child.deserves
Do not give in to this looser. You know if you do, you will Not get any of that money either. He has proved for the past 10 years that he just doesn’t care about you o r his child. He made his bed, so let him lay in it.
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Stay strong!!! Always ask, " What’s best for my child?" He needs to man up. He made his choices. You are NOT responsible for his choices. We often try and help, but in reality we’re making it worse.
If I was in your situation I would have him sign his rights away. If he did that I would drop it. Thats just what I would do. It sounds like your probably not going to be getting anything from him anyway and at least then he wouldn’t be any kind of issue later. Obviously he won’t or can’t help care for his child. Completely your decision, just make sure that you’re happy with whatever decision you make.
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Do not drop it, for legal reasons. Although it is a rare possibility, but if he decides in a year or two to try to get custody, shared custody, visitation, etc. then it looks like you have resolved all the issues, paving the way for his “claim”. You need to keep and maintain a paper trail that shows his direct refusal to comply with the courts.
That sounds like it’s his problem not yours! Don’t drop the case. That is just pure selfishness on his part and I doubt they told him to have you drop the case because I didn’t even have a choice and the state required child support to be set up. I could go on and on but the bottom line is that you are 100% right and he needs to grow up and do his part!
Absolutely not. Child support is to support the child. That’s his responsibility. No ands, no ifs, no buts.
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This money is for your child, not you. If you drop the child support, he is COMPLETELY done. What if your child decides to go to college, this could still potentially benefit your child in college. You do not have an obligation to him, you only have an obligation to your child. Yes, this could cause him to have some temporary issues, but at some point, he needs to figure out how to get out of these messes he has gotten himself into.
If you two were still together, and he was earning a living, being responsible, he would be helping financially. This is the same thing, let him pay.
And for those that say for you to drop the child support, shame on you. This child deserves to be financially taken care of as well as this mother.
No dont drop it dont feel guilty either it will hopefully make him grow up and get help he can get a restricted license to go to and from work only they suspend it if you owe child support and dont pay and can issue a warrent to appear in court and tell the judge his sob story block his number or change yours do not drop it
I think it’s great that his parents are helping you so much, but I agree with everyone else! It would be one thing if he was genuinely trying and just couldn’t catch up, but it sounds like he’s able to do what he wants, when he wants and doesn’t have any consequences. This is a way for him to suffer the consequences as his parents can’t make it better. I am sorry you have to go through this, but you’re doing a great job!
The best thing that can happen is he goes to jail and spends a little time it might clean him up. His parents are enabling him by supporting him and not letting him fall on his face it’s called tough love.
I wouldn’t drop it. Not because I would necessarily want to see him go to jail but he needs to grow up and learn what responsibility is. His parents will not always be around and he needs to learn to be an adult!
If u close the case you will be feeding his addiction but getting that money may cause his death. He needs to support his daughter not his habit. God bless!!!
Don’t drop it. Him not paying support is his choice and it’s causing negative actions for him. He could pay support and get his license back, possibly be entitled to the next stimulus check if there is one and even greater he could start getting some pride about himself.
It really depends. Every case is diffrent. Yes he needs to step up. But sometimes its mentally better for you to give up that fight. I dont go after my ex. He has removed himself completely from her life. I legally could go after him. But I dont. Because in my situation it would not bring good. You have to think beyond the money and take your mental and emotional well being into account. Along with your childs. Fighting the same fight for years is exhausting. It my situation it was better to let it go. So you have to look at all variables. But to be honest…if someone wants to be a parent they will be. You can force a payment. But you cant force someone to be a responsible parent.
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Do not drop child support. It is NOT your fault he is not responsible 
I seriously think he will not recover the stimulus check ? And doubt that he will give you child support from it. Yes, prayer does help
He wont get his stimulus check if you drop the CS case so thats not a reason to drop it. As for the CS being a reason he can’t get a job, that doesn’t even make sense. The employer would only find out about it when the state sends paperwork to start taking money out of his checks. He needs to geow up and take care of his responsibilities. Its awesome his parents help but they need to stop enabling im in all the other ways.
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Don’t drop it! Mine stood in court and cried that he can’t feed his dog if he has to pay child support. My heart melted. NOT! The judge was not either. If those words didn’t hit home, nothing would ever. So …don’t stop child support. It is the child’s rightfully. My hubbie needs it for dog food. And he had no problem saying it in court and crying! My heart be strong. I wanted to hug him to death!
I understand ur dilemma…but ur child is the priority & this man’s wants r not ur concern. Had he stepped up & gave even a feeble attempt to be responsible it still would not matter. U did not make this child alone…he needs to face the consequences of his narcissism. I understand all to well the demons of addiction…seen it take a toll on many & have seen the same outcome of the person not paying…but the child deserves to be afforded the basics of life & then some. That check can help ur child…it will not help an addict. He is reaping the results of years of selfishness & denial. Stand strong for ur child…i applaud his parents for taking up dome slack on his end, but that doesn’t excuse his actions. Be firm & tell him who’s fault the shambles his life is in really is… HIS! U must find a way to close ur heart to compassion for him until he decides to get help & do the right thing… Ur child deserves better than that & u r doing a great thing by showing strength in the face of addiction & narcissism
Maybe some time in jail would help him in his recovery. His parents seem great to you but they are also enabling him. Do not drop your case for child support.
I didn’t even bother. He wasn’t going to pay, I didn’t have time to mess with it. Why put yourself through the stress of it all. No license, going to jail. No child support coming out of that either. Focus on your child and what you can do for her without him or his non payments.
you didn’t bring on the pandemic that has given him a stimulus check. what would happen if he had a job he would have to pay child support. when you filed the case it was because he owed money he still owes money so nothing is different for him. but i think you need to sit back, sit quietly, take a deep breathe and do what feels right to you and you only. his comfort his needs his lack of adulthood is not your problem you can’t change him do what feels right for you and your daughter that’s where your energies are better served you got this! take care.
Pray!
Since his parent have a vested interests and must be good people. Maybe talk with them and get their advice?
They love him and only want what is best for him.
Tough love is HARD.
Also- Keep in mind ,
That children don’t know the value of money and adult things ,all they see and understand ,sometimes is that it is YOUR FAULT that Dad is in jail.
It is hard NOT to be an enabler. Been there.
It is called tough love. He must accept responsibility for his actions. U give in now and what will he ask fo next
Oh hell no! Being a parent/father is a responsibility he accepted when making the child! Do not enable his bad life choices by letting him off the hook. I’m twice divorced, I paid both my children’s child support. My kids learned through that, if you make them you take care of them! He will benefit in the long run if he accepts his responsibility and deals with it like a man!
Don’t drop case. The stimulus should god to you for back child support owed. He should be grateful he gets free money to pay a debt
Don’t drop it the case… he needs to support his child… I hope the state has given you the stimulus money. Few nights in jail he may decide it’s easier to pay.
So he’s mad he didn’t get his check because it was held to go to support his child. Legally it’s being held.
If you stop that and he gets a check or any future money he’s not legally held to it now.
If he’s getting money are you getting some of it? If there’s no legality in place to hold him accountable I’d say no. But it sounds like that’s not surprising. He’s lived this long like this, he’ll find a way to get money.
Does he have shelter and food? I bet he does. I will leave it as it is. Tell him you will add the charges of “witness tampering” if this does not cease. That means in a lawsuit he can’t harness you or they will elevate to Contempt of Court. Just cut and paste this and send it to him. He hasn’t given toward her needs all these years. He is manipulating you. You have a right to file suit without harassment.
Do not let up! He needs to take responsibility for his life! You may be the only one to be able to do it. Please stay strong!
The father of the daughter owes child support, can’t “afford” to support his daughter but can “afford” his drug habit. He apparently wants his stimulus check to buy more drugs. I highly doubt if his daughter would even benefit from her father getting that check. He has proven that for 10 years now.
Take care of your child, he can Talk to the court with you being safe. There is a GOOD system in place. Help your child be a good kid…
He’s the father and needs to be accountable. You will be enabling him to not be responsible.
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DO NOT DROP THE CASE. He needs to grow up & take some responsibility. His parents need to stop enabling him.
Take ir from the mother of former drig addict. Do not drop the vase for him. His parents need to stop enabling him too. If he doesn’t want to help himself, he never will. Don’t feel guilty for his life choices
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DO NOT DROP THE CASE. He needs to grow up for sure. He needs to get a job and help support the child he created. His parents are great in that they help you. He is not going to grow up until he is forced to do it.
He needs to be responsible for his daughter and that includes helping to provide for her. He needs to take responsibility and stop blaming others for his situation. He has had plenty of time to get on his feet. Please don’t feel bad for him as he needs to learn to be a man. It sounds like he depends on his mom and dad to take care of his child. If that’s the case then mom and dad can take care of him and help him get back on his feet so that he can in turn take care of his daughter. Don’t enable him. If anything you deserve that stimulus check because if he’s on drugs he’ll just use it for his habit anyway. Best wishes.
Do not drop it. I was a single mother for years and I know how hard it is. It is HIS responsibility to help take care of his daughter. Since he wont do it then it is the gov’t who does. Believe me you are helping him by not giving it to him. He has to realize life is hard and you wont always have mom and dad there. Tell him if he doesnt stop harassing you then you will get a court order. Sleep well at night and you and your daughter enjoy a day out shopping. All the best.
The support money is for your child. Do not drop the case It is his responsibility. Life gets expensive as your child grows up. Don’t deny her because he doesn’t fulfill his obligation. Being nice doesn’t pay the bills. Stay focused - it’s about your daughter and her needs.
Don’t drop the case. He needs to be responsible for his child. You don’t need to make it easier on him. Be thankful for his parents, and tell them how much you appreciate them and all they do.
Do not! You would be further enabling this childish grown up man! Don’t let him do this to you or you will be forever trying to figure out how to stand up for your daughter! Goodluck!!
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Don’t drop it !!! If you do your doing nothing but catering to him like everyone else in his life which is why he will NEVER grow up If he’s never forced to face reality and consequences for his actions The people in his life are doing him no good
Do what is best for your child…stay strong and steadfast. You will be teaching her that she has value.
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I wouldn’t drop it… None of those things would be happening if he was taking care of HIS part of the responsibilitys… An if he isn’t going to help let him not help with consequences for his actions… You didn’t lay down and make that baby alone… He may not want to help but he will learn he has to if he wants those things not taken from him… If not he will have to deal with his actions.
It’s a double check edged sword. If you fight for it, he may be able to get visitation. If he hasn’t been doing anything, count the cost/benefit before deciding!
I wouldn’t drop it. He needs to provide for his daughter financially and emotionally. It’s his loss that he’s not spending much time with her and she will resent him later for it. But it’s up to you to proceed with child support case because he should be helping to provide for her as well. You can’t make him be a dad, that’s on him, but you sure can do your best to make him financially responsible.
He needs to clean up and eventually have a relationship with his daughter. Your financial support mandate may be the only way to continuously remind him about that little, precious ten year old. Stay strong. Even if you never get a penny, he needs to remember that he is 1/2 of that little girl.
Do not drop it!!! Obviously he’s a deadbeat!! He will spend it on drugs, etc. If he cares at all for his daughter this wouldn’t be an issue!! It shouldn’t be an issue!! And…you won’t see another dime from him!! It’s time he puts on his big boy pants!! Spend the money on your baby…do something you’ve been wanting to, but, couldn’t. Enjoy being a Mom to your girl!! Peace, love, calming prayers!!
Um no how is it your problem he didn’t get a stimulus check. Plus he will waste it on drugs and who knows what. Man up and get a job and be responsible. If that was being gone in the first place then this wouldnt even be a discussion. Why would your even consider doing that is beyond me.
Do not drop it. The money is for the child. Your child deserves support from both parents. It is easy to crumble and let him off the hook. He may never pay it but if he does straighten out and gets a job, then he can start. She may need support for further education.
Do not drop the case. I dropped a portion of my ex’s case so he could get his drivers license, he never got it ended up in jail again and now owe $14000 in support. He continues to ask me to drop the child support. It’s never going to stop but that money is for your child and they deserve it!
The lady above us right. He needs to grow up n help you n himself. His parents as hard as it would be need to stop helping him too because he needs a wake up call n with them helping him hell never get it. Let it stand against him so he can man up
Do not listen to his whining and crying about the things that that are affecting him; that is how he is held responsible… my grandson is paying his child support, and lost both his stimulus check and his tax refund for his past year’s child support, and still his baby momma refuses the order to let him see his daughter…
Do not drop it, he needs to grow up and if parents want to enable him and pay his support for him, then so be it. Thats on them, your child deserves better .
I wouldn’t, if it was me. He wouldn’t be in this position if he grew up and paid it in the first place. I’d tell him he should seriously think about how HE made his own mess and you’re not going to drop the case because he can’t get his life together. He should be supporting his daughter, not his parents (though I commend them for stepping up and helping out)
This man clearly takes no responsibility for himself or his actions. His parents enable him. Is this the kind of responsibility you want to teach your child? Do you really think he is going to change if you drop the case? You know he isn’t. Maybe the case will teach him that he has a responsibility to the child he fathered.
Do not drop case. He’s playing on your sympathy for his bad decisions in life. No is a complete sentence and requires no explanation.
Do not drop it!! You deserve to have some sort of help. My ex never paid child support all I ever got was his tax returns and he gripped about that. He also called me complaining when they took his drivers license casting how was he suppose to work if he couldn’t drive?? I told him it didn’t effect me either way I was getting any child support. He didn’t like my answer but I didn’t care.
Pray on this…My daughter does not know her father…if I could change having him in her life rather then child support i would.
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Don’t do it…he my be your daughter’s father but he needs to step up and help. They don’t want to understand it doesn’t take much to have a child it’s about supporting them , loving them, guiding them threw the right road, and most of loving them unconditionally and that’s what you have done…not him you. Stand strong
Do not drop the case, that will be telling him that his negligence all this time is acceptable. I do not have children, but I know what my mother went through. They want you to drop it so they don’t have to take responsibility for their children. Don’t feel sorry for him. His life choices got him where he is, the child support isn’t to blame. That’s such an easy way out for him to blame something!
Don’t drop the case please, went thru this for years, it will never change, he fianlly finally got a job with the sheriif dept, then it came out his check! Keep going, its it’s your childs child’s right, its it’s for her!!! Remember that always!
Keep the check. If he really wants help he needs to go to rehab and get off the drugs. Then find a job etc. If you stop the child support you will regret your decision. If he was old enough to have a child then he should be a man and take care of his child. I will be praying for you.
Don’t drop it. He is not going to pay and the stimulus will become his drug money. Let answering mach. screen calls. Then you won’t have to deal as much.
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Do not drop it. It sounds like his parents have been enabling him for years. If he’s not paying, he doesn’t need a car. Sometimes poor life choices have consequences. You aren’t doing anything to him. He did this to himself.
Do Not ! make him accountable, it’s not your fault he has not grown up.
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I had a judge tell me one time that I was doing a terrible disservice to my children by not making him own his responsibilities and pay child support. I realized then that it was not about me but their future. I was able to provide them with better things because he had to pay child support.
Do not drop it! There are places that hire people that have child support cases as well as BACKGROUNDS! Do not drop it please! His parents have been wonderful in helping and yes they are enabling him but you can’t stop them. My heart goes out to you and your daughter!
pray for him that he gets help, but until he wants to get off the drugs he is NOT going to help his daughter. DON’T drop this case, if he has to sit in a jail cell this might be a Blessing for you and your family.
No, been there done that. He is selfish only thinking about himself. He probably won’t grow up my ex still hasn’t at he is almost 50 now and we had our first child at 22, the other was almost 2 years later. Now he has 3 other kids by 2 more mothers, I was the only one that had him on CS. I have a great relationship with his parents because they know how he is, and none of his children have anything to do with him because 1 day he put his hands on one of them plus he got domestic abuse charges when my two were little and he was also in a abusive relationship with a girlfriend. He’s currently on some really bad drugs doesn’t keep a job and got himself on disability so he doesn’t have to have a job. You’re doing a great job for your daughter you can do. Currently right now the world is backwards where men don’t work and women take care of everything. Again you can do it I had two, you’ve got one you’ll make it. Don’t worry about him you would not want her over with him at all
No I wouldn’t, I mean he hasn’t paid anything in 10 years if it was going to help him not paying child support then he should be in a better position by now. It’s his own problem I wouldn’t concern myself with it anymore
Do not drop it. The money is to help the kids and if he truly wants to find work he could. I hope that stimulus check went to you towards his arrears. Glad to hear he did not get it. I would just tell him oh well, now you know how we feel when you cheat your kids!
I wouldn’t drop the case. He needs to learn a lesson. He has not stepped up to his responsibility of keeping up his own child.
DO NOT DROP YOUR CASE!! You said he uses drugs, what do you think he will use his stimulus check for, to help you with his/your daughter? NO, he will buy drugs with it. You are lucky his parents help you, but your child’s father is still responsible for his portion of support. He needs to grow up snd get responsible. And you are right, if you do what he wants, you are also enabling him. Does he feel bad when your child needs something you can’t afford???, I bet he doesn’t and never thinks twice about it. Good luck to you and I hope you do the right thing!!
Dont drop it my ex has hardly ever paid me support won’t ever either he avoids getting a job so nothing can be taken out for support and hes a druggie currently living with who ever will put up with him. Has felony charge for non payment but never gets sent to prison
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Do not drop it. That support is for your daughter she deserves it. If he pays his support that he is legally suppose to he won’t have a warrant or lose his license. That is on him not you or your daughter. Do not enable him.
Do not drop the case. He needs to get help, get his act together. Spend time with his child…if you drop it he will make no effort to improve his life.
If I were you I would not drop the case. Deadbeat dads are a huge problem. If you’ve never gotten any support, accept it for what it is, help for your daughter. He’s a big boy, an adult. He needs to step up the effort.
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Do not drop it. Those are the consequences for being a deadbeat dad. It shouldn’t have come as a shock to him. Pay for your damn kid’s
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I know situations are different for everyone… but, if he has no license, it’s hard to work. If he’s in jail, he cant work. IF he was trying, I would drop the case. Maybe help him be able to better his situation and in turn, he pays when he’s able.
Do not drop it! You never know what may happen in the future. He may win the lottery or inherit. You never know. Men who don’t even attempt to pay child support belong in jail. Too bad he didn’t get his stimulus check. I’m sure you needed the money for things other than drugs and you know that’s what he would have spent it on
DO NOT DROP THE CASE! He needs to man-up and get a job and help you financially with his child. His parents needs to stop enabling him.
Poor baby. Hes expected to be a grown up. Why would he be treated so unfairly? Someone should do something about that. Really, he deserves whatever he gets. She’s his responsibility also. Now the thing is you are blessed to have his parents, but if you didn’t dropped it would they stop helping you (not that it is their job but they have been doing so)? Even without their help it seems they are good to your daughter, so would it effect their relationship?
I don’t know what state you are located in, but in Texas the attorney general is in charge of back child support and you can’t drop the case.
Don’t drop the child support. He needs to be held accountable.
If u take it to spend on things the child needs and not go out to party with it, then I say don’t drop the case and keep it. If u drop the case, chances are you’ll never see a penny of it. I get that his parents are helping out with clothes, etc, and u are and should be grateful, but I understand that you’d rather it be coming from him, the father. I was in a similar situation once upon a time. I was lucky to be getting child support but when it came time to get extras like money for Dr bills or braces or school stuff (mind u we were supposed to split these things per court order), he wouldn’t help me. His sister and brother in law did help some for which I was very grateful. Only u can live your life and know in your gut what u need to do. Do what is right for u and your daughter. Best of luck to u.
Don’t drop the case!!! He hasn’t been a man who lived up to his responsibility to care for his child. My sister-in-law heard from her daughter’s father’s mom about how their state would probably keep his stimulus check because he owes over $30 thousand in back support. Her answer: good!!! The stimulus check is a mere drop in the bucket of what is owed, but he sure doesn’t deserve it. Deadbeat dads who come crying when the bed they’ve made for themselves gets uncomfortable need to learn to make better choices and how to be a parent.
If he we’re going to use the stimulus check on his daughter maybe but u know he isn’t. It’s only gonna but more drugs. His license isn’t used for taking her to school or the dr or going to a job. Not trying to be vindictive but Lord help him. He needs consequences.
Pray about it. Weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes you just have to let things go, for your own piece of mind and well being. Life is not fair. At least you have support from his parents. Just be done with him and move on for your daughter’s sake and yours. As long as her basic needs are being met.
No don’t drop…my X wasn’t paying his support, so I told him I was filing against him so he would go to jail. He said
If I go to jail you won’t get anything!!
I said " Im not getting any support now, what difference does it make??"
He shut up…