The answer is NO. Child support is for the benefit of the child. He needs to be responsible for his child not his parents.
Do not drop the case, he’s just appealing to your sympathy, he will never change if he’s not forced to. I went through this year’s ago, I caved & in return, he not only stopped support payment he stopped seeing the kids
It is such a hard issue!
If you drop the case are you going to be able to live with that choice and have no regrets! None of this is about you or him, it’s that daughter!
My ex never paid but he tried very hard to be active In Their lives.
You will never win this big fight but some times the win is in just standing there firm in your choice! You will be supported if you believe in your decision for your daughter!
I pray for peace and strength for you!
Hang in there and be brave and strong!
Why would you drop it? So he can get his stimulus check? He’ll no. He will just use it to buy drugs if he is an addict. He can get a job even with the child support issue. He obviously had a job or he wouldn’t have filed taxes last year, correct? If he was taking.carenof his responsibilities he wouldn’t be in this boat. You will just be enabling his bad behavior if you drop the case and that isn’t helping him in the long run.
Maybe if his parents asked you to since they help, but for him no way. My brother in law served 18 months for non payment of child support and never missed another payment.
Absolutely not!! He needs to be responsible. He is playing on your kindness.
I would ask his parents what they think since they are the secondary support system. They may want to keep on supporting them both or you may upset them for giving their son a hard time and lose what you already have.
He is the father. Do not enable him. He needs to grow up, get help. Nit your problem.
No don’t drop your case. My grandsons father is the same way. The state took him to court and the judge told him he had to send the courts 10 jobs a month and pay child support and guess what …he does nothing. So don’t drop it. He will try to make you feel sorry for him but your child is whats most important. If he’s got money for drugs then he can help you out.
Drop nothing …how are you going to feel if he overdoses with the stimulus money…drug addicts don’t stop bc they had enough they stop bc they ran out of money…if his parents support him there’s nothing he needs but to get help
Yes you do know what to do, the best thing fir your child. You are only aiding this man child if you give in. It’s past time to put your child first. He will waste any funds he gets just as he has always done. The best predictor has f future behavior is past behavior.
no don,t drop the case against him he will just use the money for drugs don,t feel sorry for him he need to step up and take reasponsabilty and grow up don,t give him any thing he needs to learn he has a child to take care of trust me i have been threw it i never gave in
For what it’s worth, my advice, do not drop and check your caller ID and don’t take his calls. Tell him all communication, moving forward will be through texts. Then you have documentation. Likely, he wants the money for drugs if he’s still using.
Do not drop the case! I raised 3 girls with no child support. The only time I got money was his tax refund. Don’t feel sorry for him. He made and is still making his choices.
Do not drop it! Read what you wrote outloud to yourself in a mirror. Then ask the mirror the same question. You have your answer already. Your daughter comes first before him. If he cares or had cared he wouldn’t ask you to do this. Prayers for you.
Honestly id say drop it. He doesnt want to be a father nor does it seem like he ever would or the side though he helped create he should help out with the resposibility. But overall his morals and his absence isnt going to change so id say drop it. It’ll save you a lot of headache if you do.
Even if u don’t need the money, it is still his responsibility. U aren’t doing him any favors by dropping it. Actually, by going to jail, he might get clean and make something out of the rest of his life
No do not drop it. You have gotten almost no support her entire life even though he is 50% responsible for her existence. If he is too irresponsible to help you on his own then that is his problem.
Don’t drop it. My ex never paid child support. I started receiving the back support from the state, who garnished his pay, when my son was 38. You stated one very important thing - dont enable him.
You can reduce his back debt. At some point you need to ask yourself if it’s worth the principal. Will he ever get it? Don’t cause yourself and your child hardship to prove a point. It’s really a no win and I’m sorry you have to do this at all!
And just where do you think that money is going to go? ILLEGAL drugs, that’s where. It’s time he contributed some form of child support even if they took it from him. DO NOT FEEL BAD for him. It’s time he grew up
Do not drop the child support case. He is a grown man & has a responsibility to help take care of his child. So what if his stimulus check is taken from him, use it to buy the child what she needs & wants. She deserves it. I am sure there are times you have done without yourself to help your child when you could have used his uncaring selfish self to help your child. Quit feeling sorry for him, he put himself where he is now. He needs to grow up & stop acting like a child. You are right you would be enabling him if you drop the child support case. His parents are enabling him now, they need to stop. He needs to look at a real man to see what that man really sacrifices for his child, maybe he could comprehend & learn to be a man, not the boy he is now. He does not know what love is about apparently. I am going to be praying for you to be a strong woman & stand up for your child. Stop the pity party for this grown boy, let him get out & work.
Your daughter deserves support from BOTH parents. Don’t let him manipulate you with a situation he created for himself!
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Yes, maybe if he could catch a break his parenting skills can come up but right now he is living a life of a child.No license and no money that’s a child.Help him grow up for the childs sake
I totally agree with Teresa Baker. She really nailed it. I hope you listen to her very good advice. I doubt he will cease his destructive behavior and get a job. He sounds very much like my grown grandson who is in his 30s.
NO!! child support is not about what you need…it is to help provide your daughter w/everything she needs…now and in the future…SHE is entitled to that…you are her advocate…speak up for her!! she has a right to be provided for by BOTH parents!!!
And if you think he will support her after you drop the case and he is able to receive monies he does not deserve…
.THINK AGAIN
Let him go to jail…free room and board. That way he can grow up and maybe someday be deserving.
Don’t drop the case. All of those things are happening to him as a result of his behavior of not supporting his daughter.
Absolutely no. He still wouldn’t pay child support if he got a job. He still relies on his parents to support him and child.
Don’t do it like you said is his responsibility not his parents i might will do it if the pare t was at the childs life gettin to know them and showing them some love and also supporting them at least something.
He has demonstrated no reliability. You can’t trust because He has never given you a reason to. He’s handing you a line with the licence. He can get a “work only” special
Keep the suit going. In 10 years he could have at least given you some money. I knew someone who had the same experience. It didn’t change his attitude. Do what you have to do to care for your daughter.
Uh that wouls be a big fat NO! I dealt with the same thing. Not the drugs but no steady job, drivers license taken away, money seized from tax return, bank account garnished, etc. He owed me over 18,000 then he met a girl and wanted a life with her and guess what, HE FOUND A WAY TO PAY! If you drop it and his circumstances change you will be out of luck so no, he needs to be held accountable! Also the child support agreement is NOT between you and him, it is between him and the state. They are the ones who order he pay as it is the law. So, if he has a problem with it, tell him to take it up with the state!
She deserves every penny and he needs to take responsibility for his child and pay what is necessary for her… don’t drop the case. Stick to your guns
First of all, you’re not alone. I went through something similar to this. You are a woman first and a mother. You need to let the case get processed. Whatever he’s going through is Not your fault or problem. He needs to grow up, go to a rehabilitation center and get help. Then he needs to get off his high horse and get a job. You deserve better. Keep your head up, keep you faith and if you need someone to lean on or just to listen, reach out I’m here for you. May God bless you and your precious daughter.
I am so glad my children were not the object of child support … never once did I take. Father to court for money … I also didn’t stop them for seeing the children when ever they wanted… I guess I wanted to keep the children out of the fight zone which is all I see with this child support issue
Maybe the time has come to sit with his parents and ask if they could stop supporting him. And offer yo allow your kids to spend more time with his parents, esp if he goes to prison.
His parents are already enabling him. Drugs? Nope, that’s not where the money should go and maybe prison can help sort that out for him.
Don’t let him off the hook. It’s his consequences, not yours. Hold strong. If he rants, hang up.
At 30 he should WANT to do something with his life; prison will be a huge wakeup call. You’re not getting anything from him now, anyway. Feel empathy for his parents, but hold your ground. Children are our #1 responsibility.
I would not drop the case. That money goes to helping her. My ex fought and fought and asked me to drop the arrearage he was having to pay back… and I’m sorry for him… but in the end it is about what the kids need. If you get his stimulus and you can use it so your daughter can do cheer next year.
By dropping it, you’re enabling him to continue not paying for anything. He needs a wake up call!
No no no. He’s the Dad. He’s responsible for her as stipulated by the court. Your daughter is entitled to the child support to help you with her needs. So no!!! I’ve been thru this with both my daughters. Still battling in court after 17 years. No… do not let him off the hook. That’s not the way life is suppose to work. You have a responsibility … then Dad be responsible.
Dont drop it. Getting a job has nothing to do with owing child support. You WILL be enabling him if you drop it. He obviously needs some accountability. His parents are NOT helping him.
He’ll no don’t drop it. He doesn’t care about his child. I can’t believe he has the balls to ask and you could give it a second thougjt.
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Do not drop the case. If there is another stimulus check you will get that also. If he gets it, it will give to his drug addiction. If he gets arrested for non payment it could be his wake up call. As well as his parents.
You’d be foolish to drop it and that money is supposed to go to you from the child support enforcement unit. If you’re getting a check monthly though from welfare than they may be able to keep it for what they give you
Don’t drop it, but don’t expect it. Enabling him is not fair to you, your daughter or his parents.
Hopefully at the next court visit a judge would be kind enough for him to seek treatment and get a job.
Absolutely no! He still needs to provide for his child!
I would not drop it. It is his duty as a father to pay for his children. I only got 24.95 every two weeks from my ex. Laughable but it’s his job to take care of his child. If his parents fork over money then that is their problem letting it happen
Don’t drop the case. He is legally responsible for taking care of her. So whenever he gets money it should go towards the care of your child. That’s his problem. Besides, if he should ever win the lottery that child support and back pay will come to you in one lump sum
You are entitled to that money… it’s not your child’s fault he is not paying, and your child shouldn’t have to suffer because if his actions…
No. He hasnt pd you in ten yrs, he wont ever pay you!
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Having to pay child support would not prevent him from getting a job but doing drugs would. I would not drop the case.
There is a lot of good advice pray about this before making the decision good luck
No don’t drop it. And if he continues file harassment charges on him as well. It’s time someone stood up and put a stop to his destructive behavior maybe being locked up to dry up is the best thing for him. Its called tough love. I’m sure you want your daughter’s father to be alive to hopefully some day be there .
My husband and I pay child support for 3 kids and have a baby on the way! Don’t drop it and don’t feel bad, it’s our job as parents to support our kids. You may never see anything from him, but it’s not your problem that he hasn’t even bothered!
Let me tell you something about the system with it comes to child support…when my daughter was little and I wished would pay it…he never did…and he worked under the table…so they were not able to find him to take any money from his pay…I did it on my own and with the help of my church family back them and God…
Don’t drop it, why can’t his stimulus check be given to you anyways without a promissory sig. (which I think you know he will not do)…
You are also enabling him like his parents if you cave in…
Get stronger for your daughter she deserves IT!!Not his drug habit…
You will only get stronger going thru storms…,
He is not going to change. I was in your place with four kids and he ran off with his girlfriend to europe and took the $200 per month with him. I worked two jobs until I could afford my situation. Best move was getting him out of my life (distance helped) and my kids and I did ok. He was married seven more times (No more kids) and never found out how to afford himself.
If he has money for drugs then he has money for child support. He should be ashamed of himself to have his parents taking care of his responsibility.
Do NOT drop the case!!! His problem!!! Nobody can discriminate job wise against him!!! He needs to grow up !! He made her , now he must be responsible!!! If he comes into money later on , for any reason, you will get what is owed to you first!!! He needs to get his happy , lazy, ass out to work !!! If his parents want to be enablers that is not your problem!!! They made him what he is today by enabling everything he wants with no responsibility involved!!! You and your daughter should NOT have to pay for their stupidity!!!
From the outside looking in? And I’m not going to opine on personal attributes There are different issues here. 1) child support? Yeah that is BASIC $ that EACH parent should give towards providing for the necessities for their CHILD. 2) this issue only concerns providing for CHILDREN by their PARENTS! Anything a Grandparent “gives” is just that, a gift and not a substitute for a parents support duty. AND 3) please keep in mind your child’s FUTURE! If you were receiving your rightful financial help imagine what you could be doing for your child? Imagine the FUTURE you could plan and provide for? The older kids get the more expensive THINGS get and so do the activities they choose. And think about college, cars, school trips etc. life is expensive and both parents should provide $ for their children. Best of luck with this and remember you’re working hard to protect and provide for your child’s future it’s nothing against their father or to hurt him.
If he would hold a job and pay the child support he wouldn’t be in this situation. DO NOT let him make you feel bad. If he isn’t man enough to step up and take care of her, the state needs to make him man up. His choices his consequences.
He’s not getting that check back no matter what you do. Do not drop the case. That deadbeat should be paying support.
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If he gets that stimulus check, I can guarantee your daughter won’t see a dime of it. If he had paid a dime in the past it might be worth the risk. Seeing as he has flat out told you HE won’t contribute but his parents will proves he’s not interested in helping you raise a healthy girl. Keep doing your best and definitely keep his parents in your corner.
Do not drop the case! It’s his responsibility to pay for his child. Also his parents are enabling him to do as he pleases. If it were up to me I would STOP allowing him to see the child even if it meant the grandparents wouldn’t also. Explain that if she is with them then she CANNOT see him until he pays. It can be court ordered as such. It was for us.
Baby girl dont drop it. I’m in a situation where i wish this mom had done something sooner. Im also doing it financially myself. He doesn’t help, he says i don’t deserve it. Its not about me, it’s about the child. He 30 years old and still hasn’t learned anything about responsibility. Don’t drop it sis… don’t feel bad. Keep that guard up the whole time! Do not let him let you feel pityy for him. No job. His fault. No license. His fault. You worked hard and continue to do so for everything that you and your child have. Do not let him persuade you. Much love single mama. 
Don’t drop it. Keep providing for her with his parents help and put any money you get from him aside for her. Then when big needs like cheer come up you’ll have funds just for her.
Dont drop your case!!! If he’s still doing drugs…where is he getting the money? He should be a father first and formost!! He needs to stop the drugs. I have a question for you to…do you want that kind of influence around your child? You say the only time he sees her is at his parents house. If they are letting him continue doing drugs what does that say to your child? This is a crazy world but I wouldn’t let him in her life until he gets help! She is old enough to think things out explain it to her let her know why it has come it this. Stop send mixed signals to her.
No,absoulety do not drop it,he needs to be accountable to his daughter, or totally give her up.
Do not drop.
My kids are 25 and 24.
He never paid and owes back pay. I still take care of things for kids.
Dont feel bad at all for getting his stimulus.
I wouldn’t drop it. My kid’s dad doesn’t hardly pay either- until they threaten jail time. Then all of a sudden bam- I’m getting child support for a little while. I’ve learned not to count on it, but when we get it these kids get extras- and some money put in their savings accounts
No do not drop case. If he’s never made an effort to support his child he does not deserve the stimulus money it should go to you. If he would have been paying then he would have gotten it. But definitely don’t drop
If you don’t stand up for your daughter, no one will. Pat yourself on the back. You are an amazing women, raising an amazing lady, so be proud and continue to make him pay! That is his job! Do not let him off the hook!!!
Do not drop the child support case. Child support was designed to help you provide a better life for your child. He’ll be ok.
I’ve worked with C/S. Please don’t drop the case.
He will never get his drivers license reinstated unless he pays you child support and catch up on arrears. It’s not your fault he’s a dead beat dad. You are entitled to the stimulus money, It Comes to u because he refuses to work and pay support It’s Government money, When dads are behind on C/S They don’t get the advantage of that money
Why should they. It takes more than stimulus money to raise a child to an adult
Even if you wanted to drop the case most times you can’t because it is court ordered. If you are able to drop the case against him I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t get his stimulus check back, that money went to pay back child support.
I have to question why is this difficult? Also, let it be known that I’ve never been to this place; therefore, I don’t understand. What I do understand is the psychology in all of this. Your ex has an issue. He is scared, not because he won’t get his stimulus, but because he will go to jail. If he isn’t supportive by paying for CS like he should be doing, then the consequences of that are going to jail. You shouldn’t feel bad because he can’t help himself. You also shouldn’t think you will ruin his life. I don’t know what he does in the way of drugs, nor does it really matter. I’ve been into drugs before and they’re a lot of fun if I’m honest. However, I realized I needed to grow up and take responsibility because this world isn’t going to take care of me. It took a lot of very harsh lessons to learn to take responsibility, but they made me better. The same is said about your ex. He needs to realize he needs to change. If that means negative reinforcement, then so be it.
How was he eligible for a stimulus if he hasn’t worked for years?. He sounds like a dead beat. Don’t be an enabler - his parents are doing enough damage.
Don’t keep enabling him! Time for him to grow up and get responsible either way god bless you for taking care of your daughter without her dad’s help
No way!! You didn’t lay down and make her yourself! It’s his responsibility not his parents!! Even though I’m glad you have their support! Make him step up
Don’t let him get to you my ex didn’t want to pay either but he sure liked to make them so he should help support them
IF you drop it, years from now the child can go to court and get the monies… I have seen this in 4 states, At that point it will be between him and his child…Great college present
Make that CS case your priority one. Hold his feet to the fire to do the RIGHT thing to help support the child he made with you.
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Do NOT drop that case!! Make him man up. He made his bed he has to lie in it. If you let him off the hook he will never grow up! My daughter is 25 years old now. I fought with her father for years. Never “dropped” the case. Not my problem should’ve stepped up and supported his daughter.
You can’t feel sorry for him. I feel more sorry for the Daughter who’s Dad is a deadbeat. He’s a drug addict… 
If you drop the case, the stimulus check and any money he is able to make will go to drugs!! Let him go to jail. Not providing for a child he created is criminal, not to mention morally incomprehensible. Wash your hands of him, continue with your case, and allow him to face his consequences. Sounds like he’s the type all you can do is pray for. Let God fix him. You can’t.
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I stopped reading when you said he was on drugs! No don’t drop anything. The check would have just bought more drugs. Yes his parents are enabling him. He needs to get help first.
I wouldn’t drop the case. Your daughter deserves the support of both parents, that includes financial support. The child support case is not his problem, his selfishness and immaturity is his problem and closing the case won’t change that.
NO! I’m sorry. But if he’s never paid support he doesn’t ever intend to!! It is his responsibility to that child!!! If U do U will never b able to collect! My x still owes me thousands of dollars and my youngest is n his 40’s! He never paid either!
Absolutely not.If he has to work 3 jobs,he is not only responsible for his child but also morally.
Feel bad for what?!! He owes this money to HIS daughter! The best thing that ever happened to my son was going to jail for non payment. He hit his bottom and turned things around. Don’t you dare give him a way out!
Do not drop it. It should stay with him and any inheritance he would get in future would go to you/your daughter. Child support in our state does not have a statue of limitations.
I personally would not drop it, and I will tell you why. It is all about choices. He helped create your daughter. He needs to be responsible. If he’s got $$$ for substance abuse, he should have $$$ for support. He could have been working before he lost his license. His choices have gotten him where he is today. Send him to rehab. When he’s been clean for a few months the think about cutting support in half. It a path to get him clean and responsible for his choices
First thank god for his parents! And god bless you for being grown up enough to let them in her life! But he needs to grow up and accept responsibility! He had a child and needs to support her! You said he nags you constantly to drop child support but didn’t say anything about him maybe hurting you so I am going to assume he would not! But if he got the stimulus check back would it go to you or to drugs? But sounds like he is going to jail anyway! Maybe he will get clean himself up and get back on track! But I would not drop it! Good luck!
Do not drop the case, I chose not to get child support only if he terminated his parental rights. That ment if something happened to me he would not get my girls. Weigh your options and do what is in the best interest of your child…
I know from experience Do Not Drop It. He needs to provide for her. He needs to grow up. My daughter’s dad was a dead beat dad. He knew how to beat the system. She is 32 and he still owes me over $20,000. Don’t let him get away with it.
Hell no! Do not drop your child support suit against him. He doesn’t deserve it. The very least he can do is help support his own child. His mess is his mess. You are not responsible for it and you do not have to feel sorry for him. Do not let him off the hook. Clearly, his parents have been cleaning up his problems and giving him money all his life. This is how he got where he is. He is a whinny baby. I do give his parents a lot of credit, though, for being so good to their granddaughter and you. Thank them, but do not drop your suit.
Sounds like he needs to be arrested. He is just a millstone hanging around everyone’s neck otherwise. He may never be sober, or ever able to support a child but in jail, he will be the state’s responsibility, not your family’s
I am not saying child support shouldn’t be paid, but it’s not worth the fight and aggravation. If I ever split with my kids father I want him to be around I will make the way for my kids… one thing I have always said responsibility or not as a woman you are the number one for your children I wont depend on someone else’s money, i wont beg for it etc. If they dont wan to help that’s on them.
No, don’t drop it. He needs to be placed in rehab. Parents need to stop supporting his habits. Grow up
Heck no it’s his child just like she your he needs to step up and be a man and why would he get his money back when that money belong to his daughter
It takes a alot to raise children now and she needs money for her college if she wants to go. Put that money in a college fund for her
Do not drop it! He needs to be held accountable no matter what! Saying it’s CS that is preventing him from getting a job is BS!!!