Do not drop it!! He’s created this mess, he needs to find his own way out of it!
I have a case that should be dropped two grown kids and paying arrears plus still being charged for some reason n I’m getting screwed becuz of guys that ur ex so no absolutely do not drop it for him especially if she is only 10 do not let him out that easy if she was older say 16 or 17 sure but not if he hasn’t helped u at all and she is only 10 mine are 18 n 19 and moved out and I’m still paying well I would be but I’m not working atm and my ex won’t drop it until I take him to court
Sounds like a piece of work, been there done that,do not give in to his crap if he can afford drugs,I would pursue for more child support
I’m someone that knows. There is always an excuse. They always have money for the things they want but their child support is low priority. My ex died owing me over $10K. Don’t give him any breaks.
Absolutely do not let him have 1200 more dollars for drugs! That money should be in your account to support your child!!!
No don’t drop it if he and I mean he not his parents were helping it would be one thing. He needs to take responsibility for the child he helped to create. Sounds like he has been getting a pass his whole life. Time for some tough love
Don’t drop it. I have been there and stood my ground. He finally started to pay when they charged him with a felony and time in jail. Do you know you can get car from his social security when he starts to draw it. In time your daughter will see what he is doing and hopefully she will tell him he is wrong. My daughter did.
Hell no! My kids father made himself to where they couldnt find him for years. By the time we did the kids were grown. Told them to take him to court but they wanted their dad more than the money. Oh well!
I dropped my case, walked away and never looked back, raised my Son alone and didn’t have to put up with the lies, drugs and broken promises.
Do not drop the case! If he goes to jail, maybe he’ll detox, who knows? It could be the best thing that happened to him. But do NOT drop the support case. Your loyalty and concern is for your daughter, not your ex. The case isn’t his issue - his nonpayment and his drug use are. Not your fault at all. Please don’t drop the support case. If he’s harrassing you about it, either block his number and social media on your phone or call your lawyer and tell them. Never drop the support case, under any circumstances.
Absolutely not! Their his kids not his parents! Looks like he’s had a free ride long enough don’t you think! If this is the only thing you’ll ever get from him then take it!!!
The child support system is a joke people!!! The state (judicial) gets money from this as well as it keeps the male in a system thats design to “KEEP THEIR FOOT ON THE KNECK”. I’M 51 and i have six children. My first child is the only one i had pay support to while her mother lived with me. I didn’t know then but it was so she could continue getting benefits🙄. I been married to a wonderful woman now for 18 years we have 2 kids and the system still sends me support payment papers. Its a FREAKING JOKE
Look like the mother of the kid made the first mastack,when she got with a guy that can’t even help hemself and had a kid for, it’s not all his fault, but he needs to step up and ba a man, sounds like he can learn a few things from his dad for sure.
DO NOT DROP THIS CASE. It’s most likely the only money you will ever see. He needs to get a job. Get his license back and support his child. I know several dads that had to do this. It can be done!!
NO DO NOT DROP IT. That lets him off the hook, time for him to grow up and be responsible like he should be. Do not ever do what he wants he isn’t being responsible you don’t have to drop anything.
I did not pursue child support in ensure he was going to be around my daughter. Married a wonderful man who was an amazing father to her. No regrets!
Do what you want. But I think it’s pretty despicable for any parent not to support their child. It’s really not hard to pay child support, which is only a FRACTION of what it costs to raise a child. I’m not sure why you feel so obligated to cut him a break, when the only reason he is in the situation he is in is due to his own poor and selfish choices🤷♀️
Have him sign away all parental rights. He will be a dad let alone pay for his child.
You need to keep your case going he should be ashamed of himself he should support his daughter without having the state do stuff to him to make him support him do not drop it because if you drop it and don’t pursue him that could mean that if any help that you may be getting from the state will stop from helping you and if the states collect collecting that money and you’re not getting any of it or you’re not getting any help from the state that they will send you that money that he’d that they can get from him he needs to grow up his parents need to kick him out on his butt but I’m see what it’s really like don’t drop it
Don’t drop it! So he didn’t get his stimulus check well boo boo. He can put on his big boy pants and be a man and support his child. He is is just a little boy until he man’s up and supports his child.
No! Don’t ever drop your child support case. It’s about your child not him. If he ever gets a dime you will get it for the child and that’s what counts. The attorney general’s office would never encourage you to drop your case.
If you drop it then you’ll regret it later.
He will tell the grown daughter that he didn’t have to pay because you said he didn’t.
Your daughter needs things that you alone shouldn’t have to provide.
He’s just going to blow it on drugs anyway…
Drugs<DAUGHTER ! No brainer .
He might be a jerk now and keep on him and when the day he grows up and gets a real good job you be able to get attachments on his pay check. Remember if children go to college child support continues until out of school.
DO NOT DROP IT! He made the mess now let him do or suffer whatever it takes for it to get fixed. He’s NOT your responsibility, only the child is. Who cares if he doesn’t get the check to obviously blow . If he’s never had a job it’s not stopping him now! Do not let him off the hook. He’s playing you, big time. Just ignore the pestering. Block his number, whatever it takes. Forget it and go on .
You hold his feet to the fire. I fought for 45 years and finally when he applies for social security they started garnishing. But he passed away so I got five payments. I have four fabulous children.
Do not drop case. If he wanted to do better he would have done so by now. He does not want to be responsible…
DON’T drop it EVER! The useless waste of space doesn’t need you to help enable his drug addiction as well. My heart bleeds for his parents they must be going through hell because of him. You can force him to grow up. If he keeps harassing you about this, learn to stay strong & ignore him. As an addict he’s a master manipulator & someone needs to stand up to him, sadly now that’s your role. Glad to hear you are no longer in a relationship with him.
He needs to grow up & you need to be the strong one & enforce this! It’s awful that his parents are enabling him. How is any of this stoping him from getting a job? I don’t understand. Stay strong & may Jesus guide you through this.
It’s his daughter you shouldn’t have to ask.
He needs to take responsibility for himself and his daughter. He’s a grown man let him see what it takes to raise a child. Don’t do it !
My son’s are 36 and 33 and I got part of my ex’s stimulus check. He has two more son’s by two other ex’s. I also get a small monthly payment from his social security. I do not feel bad ever. I did without to make sure that they never went without. I spend alot of money on my grandkids, now. Do not drop the case and don’t ever feel responsible for him. He helped create the child(ren). He is an adult and made his choices…
He needs to grow up and take responsibility maybe jail time will help him!
Don’t drop it, if he ever gets his self together, you may not be able to get it started again depending on what state you live in.
I think you pretty much answered your own question dear! I dropped my exes to get his license back but we were on VERY good terms at the time, we got back together, so obviously. But as soon as we weren’t, the state went back after him for support because we got govt assistance, I didn’t have the choice. But with everything you said… nope, I wouldn’t, he is irresponsible and it seems like he hasn’t shown any concern for your daughters needs.
I pay child support and I didn’t get my stimulus check. My girls are in there 30’s and have kids of their own. I don’t owe child support it for their braces. I’ve been paying on this for 13 years and they still take my income taxes and whatever else they want. So think hard before you decide to drop it since he hasn’t pay anything his parents have. Good luck
Dont drop the case. I tried to help my ex by payment amount by half and he never made one payment after that. My kids are all grown and I am finally getting my child support. When i got his stimulus check i gave it to my kid. If you feel bad about his stimulus check, give it to his parents.
East Peasey drugs or child support he doesn’t need more money to spend on drugs and their may come a time when the grandparents need help 10 years is long enough to change and step up your daughter deserves better
If you have a good relationship with his parents I say talk to them. Tell them how you feel about it. Yep them you know that money would go to drugs and better to go to your daughter than that. They are wonderful for helping but are also doing what a lot of grandparents do. Especially if they are involved in their grandkids lives. He needs to step up and be responsible a no, I say don’t drop the case. At some point he needs someone to hold his feet to the fire. His parents should have a LONG time ago. Maybe jail is where he needs to be to get clean and get things right.
No way would I drop the charges against your ex. He needs to grow up and be a man . This is not your fault this is happening to him it’s his own fault.
Don’t drop the case. My ex never paid a penny in CS he always had an excuse as to why he couldn’t get a job, the real reason was he didn’t want to pay. My girls are in their 30’s now and never saw a dime. Please don’t enable him.
Don’t drop the case, he doesn’t deserve any extra, I have an x who owed me almost $20,000 took him to court he was ordered to pay or go to jail,
No do not drop it. He is just as much responsible as you are in caring for your daughter. If he so much want a better life he will pay child support. That’s up to him , not you
He needs to take responsibility! Face his consequences for being irresponsible!
He is on drugs needs to be off them before he is allowed around his daughter. Even if you go it alone for awhile better than unhealthy exposure to that toxic person. It’s a hot mess IF he ever gets his act together then he can see her might not be until she is older then she can decide then if she wants to. I was able to do the same my son saw Father later on never spoke bad of him. My son saw for himself later. They speak but under my sons own terms. If they are using they are losing stay away!
Don’t drop the case he needs to start supporting his child he made his own bed not your problem
Screw him. He hasn’t done jack her entire life, he is just going to use it for drugs anyway. What if od’s will you feel responsible? Take her somewhere special and tell her it’s her dads treat!
I guess I’m cruel
I would not drop the case. You and your daughter don’t have it easy. His parents don’t have it easy. Why should his life be made easy
DO NOT DROP THE CASE!! If the only way to make him pay support for the child that he helped to create is by a court order then so be it. Sometimes it takes tough love to make them grow up.
No, do not drop it! He told you that the clerk said to tell you to drop it! I doubt she told him that message to send back to you because that is not for her to give him advice! It is not for you to be concerned for him or his personal life! If you care about your child do the right thing and don’t involve yourself in his misfortunes or his bad behavior/choices! I don’t know everything but I sense that he has bad problems and that would only enable his bad choices!
Don’t drop it!! My ex actually kidnapped my daughter once thinking he wouldn’t have to pay CS. She turns 31 this Saturday & the CS was finally paid in full this past February. He has not seen her in 26 years although we only live about 3-4 hours away.
Nope, he deserves to be arrested if he’s not going to take any responsibility for his own life and the life he helped to create. Do not drop the case. He’ll just spend the stimulus on drugs anyway it sounds like.
Do not drop it! This is why we are facing the things in this country now. So many people never held accountable … you may never get a dime, but one day you will be able to tell that sweet girl that you tried.
Do not drop it. And if he owes you back child support then you should get that money. Your child deserves that. Sorry to say this but he is no father because a real father wouldn’t put himself before his children
If the state or the courthouse is involved with child support payments that are in arrears, this is already out of your hands. The state will continue to pursue them even if you don’t want it anymore. Anyway that is the case in West Virginia and Virginia.
Ive been where u are nd ive dropped it. Even after he had no excuses he still hasnt gotten his life together so i still got no help so i had to reopen the case jus to get $175. Believe all these ppl when they say dont drop it. Hes making excuses. Block his number but stay in contact with his parents if needed. File harrassment if he doesnt stop. But dont drop the case. Think of who your doing it for, your child, thats the ONLY one that matters in this situation
To you people saying evil things like don’t drop it, Hurt people hurt people, obviously your still hurt. Forgive! And stop missing out on blessings being so blinded by hurt. What About the kid being fatherless
It’s obvious that you are a caring father, grandfather and father in law.
I’ve been through a similar life experience and I would have stopped my enabling earlier if I had foresight.
Addicts need to experience consequences for their own good.
I’m living proof… . . 40 years of sobriety. Addiction can kill but so can enabling.
Be thankful his parents are supportive and involved. This man should not be in your daughters life because of his issues with drugs, unemployment, etc. I think he realizes this. Let him off the hook.
Do not drop the case this is consequences for his actions and that is his child he should be supporting her
Don’t drop it. I didn’t even know I was still getting it and thought after he turned 18 it stopped, last month discovered I was still receiving it and end up with a big chunk of money on a card I never knew I HAD and he didn’t work either due to drugs and laziness. Anyway needless to say I have Xtra money. In the thousands. Surprisingly God came thru at a good time. Don’t drop it.
How much is he paying? Your child deserves that support, pretty sure he’s spending more than that on himself. Do not listen t
UMMMM NO! child support is for the benefit of the child, it ensures that the absent parent contributes to the financial needs of the child.
Don’t drop it. He’s already told you he has no intention of helping ever, by his past performance. Needs to grow up, and get responsible. If he’s using that’s exactly where the money will go.
No… as a man who loves his children I paid support. I am and always will be happy and grateful for my children and thankful for their love
How did he get a stimulus check if hes not working and if hes working shouldn’t it be taken right from his check
Do not drop the case. It is time for him to grow up and take Responsibility and Support his Child! Do not enable him!
What are the benefits to you & your daughter if you keep the case? The man is obviously not able or willing to change. You will most likely never see a penny from him. It looks as though his parents are going to continue to help him and their granddaughter. Peace amongst you and your daughter especially in these uncertain times may very well be a blessing.
I took my ex to court several times for cs for our 2 sons. His parents paid to keep him from going to jail.Yes, I would have pressed charges. No don’t give him the stimulus check I hate a deadbeat dad…
Do not drop the case period he’ll never get it together. They should throw him in jail until he pays. He still won’t get the $1200 dollars back if you drop the case.
No way I wouldn’t drop it. I mean if he goes to jail too bad for him he’s had 10 years to give you child support and catch up on it and he hasn’t he just wants you to drop it so that he can get a free ride and not pay. I mean suit do you think if he gets that stimulus check back that he’s really going to give it to you for all the back child support? I guarantee you wasn’t planning on giving you a penny
DON’T DROP THE CASE. It’s apparent that he dissess full responsibility in taking care of his daughter and it’s obvious he has NO PROBLEM and NO SHAME of letting his parents take on HIS RESPONSIBILITY of taking care of HIS daughter.
Not once did he say that he’d hand over to you his stimulus check. DON’T DROP THE CASE.
My x did not pay for years,I let it build up.My 2 children were 26 and 28 and the x had to pay then and the money helped with there schooling.So DO NOT drop it one day he will pay or go to jail and then when he gets out he still will have to pay.The child support is to help you.
It was by law if person behind in child support the money was to go to the one taken care of children. My daughter got her ex husband’s. He hasn’t had anything to do with his son or daughter since Chloe was. About 1 she is 7 Connor is 8
Please dont drop his case! He coyld find a job, he doesn’t want to work. Too busy getting high. My ex sold his part of a business so he wouldn’t have to pay and the judge laughed him out of court.
Never ever allow a deadbeat Dad not to pay child support! Make him responsible in some way even if you save that money for her future. She will need college and a car. Trust me if he doesn’t pay now you’ll never see it in the future for her.
Ask his parents if you should drop it,or teach him a lesson that’s why he is on drugs cause his parents always gave, gave, gave no responsibility
Do not do it. Tough love need to be done here. He needs to step up and be a dad and realize life ain’t easy but you gotta do what you gotta do for your kids. Jail time might smarten him up I think.
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I’m surprised they have not sent him to rehab or jail. Tell CS to require rehab then see what happens
Screw that. If he’s only going to help when he is forced then why should you make it harder for yourself and your child in order to make it easier for him. Sorry about his luck but it’s time to man up.
I know you probably don’t want to do that, but if he can’t get a job how is he going to pay for child support? From a Mom that went to college, worked and supported my 4 children as I wanted a better life for them. Your lucky that you have some help from his Mom and Dad.
Young lady,I paid child support for years,he needs to except the issue, the little needs are more important than his,please don’t drop the case,keep the check you and your daughter enjoy some much needed time for s break,I’m not sure how much things cost for her but she is a precious child,if he’s a drug addict then let him go,you let him have that money he could possibly over dose on the amount of drugs he could buy, just rest at ease knowing you are right.thank you for sharing your story, I hope it gives other moms or dads to keep up the good parenting. You may have just saved his life if you chose to keep it.god bless the child,and thank you for being a great mommy.
30 years old. Don’t be a enabler don’t drop it. Maybe even if he’s hoes to jail it may teach him something like responsibility and it could even get him off drugs. Sometimes they need tough love.
Never drop it! My coworker is finally getting her child support and her children are in their 20s/30s! Not your fault he cant take responsibility for his actions.
Do not drop the case! He doesn’t step up and be a man so he can sit and cry like an immature boy because he doesn’t get his stimulus check. He’s more worried about his money then his child. Don’t worry about him just take care of your child with that money. You can’t feel sorry for him when he doesn’t care enough for his child.
Absolutely NOT!!! He was man enough to make a baby it’s time for him to grow up, be a real MAN and support his daughter! Don’t let him manipulate you w/ his bs. Your daughter deserves better!!!
If you drop your case what do you think he will do with the money you need, you said he does drugs right I can’t tell the future but I’m thinking he just might use all that money to feed HIS habit and not use it to help feed his child. Don’t let him slide there are far to many mothers present and future that will go through this and the past set the example for you and you can set the example for the future mothers to come
Do not drop it!! He needs to be a man and support his child. Her grandparents are nice enough to step in but it’s still his responsibility to take care of his daughter. Him not being able to find away to work is his problem to solve not yours.
He has responsibility for the child he helped to create. Keep the money, if you drop the case, your daughter will have nothing and he will not use the money in any productive way. This money is not preventing him from getting a job, if he really wanted a job, he would have one. He is just telling you what he thinks will make you give in to what he wants. Take the money, use it for your daughter and tell him that if he wants your support, he has your prayers, your encouragement, and your love but you will not give up this money because your daughter’s needs trump his. Then encourage him to get help for his underlying issues so he can get off drugs and be a real part of his child’s life. We all have things that are hard to deal with but addiction only adds to the issues. Stop letting him manipulate you. Be strong because enabling him is the worst thing you can do for him, you, and your daughter. I will pray for you to have the strength and wisdom to get through this.
Not YOUR fault he’s an addict!! His CHOICES have lead him where he is NOW!! YOUR job is to take care of your daughter and yourself, NOT raise HIM…DO NOT CANCEL!!! Prayers for you and your daughter…I have 10 yo too!! Stay STRONG MAMA BEAR!!! 
No do not drop your case as much is you think you should you also needthe help. Been where you are at and child support helps alot
DO NOT DROP!!! HE only wants the money for his drugs… I promise you that. Maybe is he locked up he could get some kind of rehab for his addition…
No! Do Not Drop the Charges he’s had enough time to figure out his life. It’s time he cares for the LIFE HE MADE
I laughed at my ex when he asked me that. Who will advocate for your child if you don’t? He helped make her, he should support her. The only person to blame is himself. Honestly I wouldn’t drop it because that’s just telling him it’s ok to run from your responsibilities.
My case was he needed to get his dad medical help and he promised to give me the money. I being the Christian woman agreed and never saw that child support. Hecwoukd take her on weekends and she would come back with stuff.
His dad never got the treatment. When my daughter turned 16 she wanted me to take him to court but I knew he would find a loophole so I told her “God will deal with him”
No don’t drop the case. Time for him to face reality and grow up. Let him go to jail, it’s a good place for him to think what he’s done to his family. His priority should be his child, period. Sounds like everyone has given him to many breaks so far. Where does he get his money for his drugs? Think about it. Good luck.
I’d like to ask, how was he issued a stimulus check if he hasn’t worked to file a tax return? In my state, if you didn’t file a tax return in 2020, you didn’t get a check.
Don’t drop it! If he was any kind of man, he would help you with your child financially without you even mentioning the idea of child support. While it’s sweet that they want to help with their granddaughter it’s not his parents’ job to pick up his slack. Please tell me he was just jerking your chain when he said he’d see what his dad could do!
As long as his parents is there for you and your daughter I would let that Loser Go.
His parents seem to be very responsible people who are willing to help you. I’m sure they raised Him better. 
If he isn’t helping anyway I would just drop the CS case. Your both better off without him. Plus if he isn’t paying CS he has no right to visitation. So when and if you meet a good man to be your daughters dad he has no say. I wouldn’t try to squeeze a dime out of a lemon. Eventually he may come to his senses. Plus your daughter sees you trying to help her dad you may not think it means anything to a child but it does. She doesn’t want to see either of you struggling or hurting.
Don’t drop it. Been there. My ex was way behind and when we went to court for the 3yr update, I had wrote receipts saying he paid me extra and for doing work on my car and stuff that never got done. My son is now 21 but my ex still thinks it’s my fault he got behind but never thinks of me keeping him out of jail because he was behind or the money my now husband gave him over the yrs to help him out when he said it was for our son.
Eww…touchy subject…but as a step dad to 2 girls I supported for 11 yrs nd counting…they’re in their 30’s…I feel no pity for deadbeat dad’s…make a decision that gives YOU closure on the issue… ultimately it’ll be your daughters decision if she wants to maintain a relationship with him…I wish you both peace
My son is ten and his dad has never seen him, and has never paid a dime to child support. I got his stimulus check. My girls dad also wants me to drop the child so case because 1.he has not told his new fiancee that he has kids and 2. It takes half his check. Stand your ground. He needs to pay for the kid he helped make.
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