If he doesn’t see your child have him sign his rights over and then drop it. If you aren’t getting anything anyways, wash your hands of him completely.
No , i have a similar Situation with an ex, no drugs selfish nature but I have a fiancé that robbed me and left us screwed from drugs but that money is for the kids … if it’s his only source of income that is his fault not yours and if his life sucks so much that his fault not yours… hold to your ground or you will be suffering… pray for him to stop blaming other people for his bad choices. You have babies to protect if it means something to him he can fix it all… it’s rough my ex husband recognized what he had to do and stepped up he wants it easy and it’s not the time for that your child first my ex fiancé is up and down with it I helped him and screwed me over learn from my mistake. They have to stop blaming others and hold themselves accountable. Gods will be done over your life and your ex.in Jesus name amen 
No. He needs to work and pay child support. He doesn’t need stimulus money to spend on drugs.
DO NOT DROP IT. That stimulus will come to your daughter. The person that matters the most in the equation. You can use the money he DOESNT deserve on the child HE made with you that DOES deserve everything she needs. He’s made his own bed, honey. Don’t fix it it for him. If he wanted to, he would. Clearly he doesn’t, protect your baby and keep that support thru the courts.
You should drop it. He hasn’t paid and he’s not going to. He’s a failure. But you will ruin his life. And he still won’t pay you! Don’t be someone who doesn’t care if he’s ruined because of this! Be better. Better things will happen to you if you forgive him and let it go. I watched an ex wife devastatingly ruin someone. And he can never recover from it. Your daughter will benefit from battles of nastiness ending.
Tell him to stop making excuses and find a job and support himself and his daughter. There are plenty of jobs out there.
No He should have paid his child support and he would have received his Stimulus. He should be happy now he owes $1,200.00 dollars less
Tell him if doesn’t want to pay child support sign his rights over that ur not going to drop the case he help create her he can help take care of her
Don’t drop the case. Most dead beat dads are never going to be stand up men. I am raising my granddaughter. Her father (not my son) asked me not to make child support go through the courts. I agreed, just to get him out of our lives. He has never paid a penny of support for her in the last 11 years, she is almost 14. His excuse…I would just give the money to the mother. Mind you I live on SS and my pension, but he thinks I would give the money to the mom
Do NOT drop it. His responsibility and he needs to learn the consequences of not taking care of his responsibilities. If he gets arrested, oh well. His problem not yours. He needs to get a J-O-B
I say NO!! this is money for your child, she deserves it, she might need it someday ,for her education, you will be sorry if you drop it, he can pu his big boy panties up, and take on responsibility!! You did for 10 yrs, dont listen to him, some day she will need a car, an apartment clothes ! Its her money.
He is lying my son hasn’t gotten his stimulus check an he called to ask if child support took it an they said NO it can not be taken for child support
Do not drop it. It is sad children are the ones that have to go threw all the stuff. He needs to help with a child that he helped create.
I did my son father that favor he owed over 14,000 in child support erased it. He still did t do anything for my kids matter of fact it became worse and he bought a brand new sports car.
Do not drop it, you and your daughter need that money, that is to take care of her…if you drop to it now, you will never see a court order demand for child support again and that is not fair to your daughter…she still has homecoming dances, extracurricular activities and prom to go to among many
Nope, he’s the father if he can’t scrape a couple dollars that he earned working he does not deserve a stimulus check. I’d tell him to sit and spin. I raised my sons by myself with little help from their dad and pulled up to all those challenges. I didn’t let him off by much. I got a 124.00 a month for 2 kids that he paid, not his mom. Make him step up to the plate and be a man and take responsibility for his child. Don’t let him off easy his parents are already accommodating him you should not do that too. Teaches him that everyone else is his facilitator.
I would not drop it
It’s his problem if he payed his child support they would not of taken these things from him
Feel sorry no way
Make him pay
No, DO NOT drop the case just to make it easy for him. Has he dropped how much it is costing you to raise your daughter? Food, events, clothes, dentist, doctors, childcare,etc., it drives me crazy when guys think it is such a big deal that they have to pay 300-400 a month per kid for support. And get all bent out of shape that it be spent on the kid.
Never drop a child support case all your doing is feeding him the money for other stuff and still wouldn’t help your daughter maybe he w get put in jail it just might save his life
You known what to do If child support and district attorney did not make him do this you known you would not see a cent for your daughter do not be naive and let him off the hook this is his daughter and it is his duty to support her If he keeps on bothering you call the police and field a harassment charge
Really that is your daughters. If she doesn’t get it today he will have to pay if he ever gets a tax refund or his parents leave him upon their death. The government will garnish it for her.
Do not drop the case and that case worker is wrong if he’s in arrears he still wouldn’t get it back it’s not you or your daughters fault that he can’t get himself together if he’s so concerned and his parents are supporting and enabling him then he should ask them to pay all his back and current child support
Never EVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES STOP SUPPORT OBLIGATIONS. HE HELPED MAKE THAT BABY HE CAN PAY
No. My ex tried that. That is so selfish of him. Your child is your priority and should be his but you have no control over that. What a shame.
I didn’t read all the comments but he knows its something he has to pay and its not for you is for her. If hes on drugs and doesn’t work anyway a driver’s license doesn’t matter. Honestly sounds like a lock up and being forced to be clean might be what he needs.
Hell no don’t drop it. To many dead beat parents get away with this BS. Let him serve his time for not taking care of his child. You can’t just up and stop supporting so why should he be able to?
DO NOT DROP THE CS CASE!!!
It will be the biggest mistake you make. Once you release him of his responsibility, he will still do nothing for your daughter. If he chooses to not be there, let him not be there…but let his money be there for your child. Thank God his parents are there for you both.
Can someone explain to me the bonus of suspending the drivers license? We want them to pay but when they can no longer drive to any job they might have then they lose said job and now even further behind than they started. I donor understand that thinking.
As a mother who received absolutely nothing, do not drop the case. You are not the only parent who is responsible for this child and that (burden) for lack of a better term, isn’t yours to bare alone just because you’re the mother.
I wouldn’t drop it. He’s asking you for your help when it sounds like you’ve asked him for help and he’s not lifted a finger to help you with his daughter. Stay strong, you e got this!!
I’m in the same situation except I don’t get money from his parents. I say screw it I took his check and he worked for a few weeks this last yr and he filed taxes and claimed his new girlfriend and her kid and I got that too. He and her decided in a meth induced haze to get pregnant even tho she lost her kid and he has zero to do my daughter by his own choice. Don’t drop it u deserve and so does your kid.
Don’t drop it. He wants the money for drugs, not to do for his daughter. He has never helped you at all and honestly, thank God his parents help but I would not do anything
Consensus is not to drop it. I say do not drop it either. Let him get his act together and be responsible.
Keep the case going. If he does not want to have a warrant go back to work and pay up
Do NOT drop it. Let it accumulate and u will one day get back the money u put out for his share
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Do not drop the child support case against this dead beat dad. If you do, the message you’re sending him is it’s okay with you that he doesn’t help his child.
What are you going to do if you drop the case and his parents pass away. Their enabling him. He needs to man up and take responsibility for his obligations to his daughter. I hope everything works out for you and your daughter.
You can’t drop it. The CS system and the state will never let it go. He needs to man up and grow up!
After 10 years he is not going to grow up, and with sole custody don’t let him see her. Your already inability him, he pays nothing and he also knows when his parents have her he sees her, so keep the money and make him seat in jail don’t drop anything he will either keep going to jail fo none payment of child support or he will have to grow up and work, call the courts and let them no your not dropping anything and you need a court date to get this fixed and show him you have had it with what he does. My ex is in jail at least 2 times a years for child support once there in jail for support they red flag him and make sure they pay my ex in jail every three months for 30 days for not paying hang in there go back to court. Let his parents in on it so they are on board with you
I don’t usually commit on anything. You have to do for your child and you. Look at what you will receive from the outcome of the case. Is it going to change anything.
Do not drop it. I could give you my 2 cents worth, I read alot of the replies. They said all the good points. It not your fault if he doesn’t have what he wants. You can use the money better.
Absolutely not! It is his responsibility to pay child support, and there are consequences if they don’t.
Don’t cancel it. He needs to be supporting her not buying drugs. His parents are enabling him too.
Do not drop the case why should he be able to keep doing what he wants & you worry & do it all by yourself
Do not enable him or he will never grow up!
A real man would not ask his parents to help were it’s his job to help. Don’t drop
Don’t drop case. And for heavens sake stop feeling sorry for him. He made his choices.
He needs to grow tf up already and take some responsibility for his child. Boo hoo they’ll have a warrant out for his arrest, too damn bad, pay your effin child support!
No consequences have actions he is an adult and he knows that, he made a baby now he hast to support it. He needs to grow up and be a man.
Your last sentence is unclear. If u meant he’s still very much in her life then drop the charges and if he doesn’t get a job tell him he cannot see her. I think since his parents are helping support him he is already being enabled enough. As far as dropping charges I would consider the fact if he hasn’t worked since being under this CS situation then he isn’t going to work with or without the C/S case pending. Take care of you and her and let him get by on his own means. His parents are great for helping you but are hurting him. If he’s going to grow up he can ONLY do it himself.
Don’t drop it. Make him grow up and help raise who he helped create. I say the same thing about mothers who are like that. If the don’t want the responsibility of helping raise a life they helped make them they should get fixed
Do not drop it . To bad for him … stand strong and show your daughter that her mom can’t be treated like this by her father. He’ll figure it out .
Dont give in maybe a little jail time and rehab is what he needs to understand what his responsibilities are for ur daughter maybe he will grow up, DONT GIVE IN!
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Let them put him in jail. It may force him to grow up. He will also blame you for all his problems so be ready for that.
No dont frop it cause my daughter is the same way. Wont get a job to take care of her three kids. I’ve had them for 16 years. They owe the kids to be responsible and take care of them. There are ways to get a job even with that stuff on place.
Sounds to me like you arent going to get child support from him either way you look at it, unless its from his stimulus or tax returns if he even works and eventually he will go to jail for this and you said you get a lot of support from his parents, so if you follow through and he goes to jail are his parents still going to be there for you and your daughter?
I’m not saying this is in any way right…but you need to think about that.
The State can go after him if you ever accepted any State help.including food stamps . I’d tell him the judge ordered it, pay! If yu drop it now, what if his parents stop helping you? That might be your leverage over him. Check with your attorney.
No do not drop it!! If he was supporting her other ways, then by all means.
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Do NOT drop it. His parents are a great help but that is a gift and they can stop that at any time. He needs to grow up and be responsible for HIS daughter. He did this to himself.
No sympathy for him here! You reap what you sow! Do not drop the case. Think of everything you’ve has to go through. I’m still trying to do the math with all the interest and penalties owed to me 35 years later. He’s a grown ass man he can suffer his consequences for his actions not your problem.
I’m not sure where the case will land financially if he clearly cannot function as an adult. I’m never going to see the money owed to me…it sucks and it’s hard. I’m more concerned about what having an addict for a father is doing to the child. She is watching the man in her heart get away with all manner of lies and law breaking. She is watching him be enabled and cared for…someday she will feel compelled to do the same. She will seek out partners with a victim mentality and will never know that love isnt wrapped in denial and lies. The greater price is the never ending hope he will ever be what she really needs. Expecting him to be responsible is like expecting a fish to be a car. It just isnt going to happen…protect her from him
Don’t drop the case it’s his fault he can’t get a job and his parents are not helping by enabling him .the parents need to stop helping hom
No you shouldn’t. He’ll just waste his money on drugs and your child deserves the money more than him. I felt pity for my ex when he begged me for the same thing. I did and he disappeared until he died and child enforcement told me of his death. Don’t do it.
Don’t let him off the hook ! It just might be what makes him man up to his responsibilities! Time to grow up …
Why on earth would you drop it. Going to jail is exactly what he needs. If he was to get that check you know all it’s going towards is drugs why would you enable him even more. You need to show your daughter bad behavior isn’t rewarded.
Take his stimulus check. Save for ur daughter. He will prob just spend It on drugs or whatever. He needs to grow up.
Please do not drop it. He’s not feeling sorry for you, his parents, and least of all his children. I kept after my ex and even cut his child support in half, but wanted him to pay the back amount. My oldest daughter was 28 before we were finally through. So don’t stop. He did this to himself.
No way don’t feel guilty at all. He should for not taking care of his child. Maybe this will make him grow up.
Idk because his famiky is helping you support the child…so you are getting child support just not from the dad. On the other hand he doesn’t really go out of his way to see her and hasn’t stood up to take care of his responsibilities. I say keep the case. It’ll hopefully keep him from doing this again with another child.
Why feel sorry for someone who dose not feel sorry enough to support his child.
If you drop the case, you are only enabling him to continue with drugs.
My daughter is in the same situation…except the persons taking care of her kids is her with a little help from us. She has a very good man who is helping her raise her kids. Pray about it and then do what you feel is right
Keep it if he ever gets disability checks they will take child support from it
No I wouldn’t. You want to consider a restraining order. The drug issue could cause him to act irrationally
No. No. No. Do not drop it. His parents are enablers to say the least. Addiction to drugs etc etc. He needs REHAB. But as long as his daddy and mommy continue to be enablers he will continue his addiction. Very sad!!
Stay strong. Do NOT drop your child support case. This will help him grow up in the long run. It will be hard, but you are not alone in this.
Its a privilege to have a child,its the law to support them.
Absoluly not…let him grow up and get off drugs and accept responsibility! He only wants his STIMULAS check to spend on drugs…he sure wouldn’t give you any for the child! Dead beat…good for nothing bum!
I never got child support for my four children. And i regret not trying harder. The government needs to give you his stimulus money.
So you drop it, then what happens? He gets the stim check and goes and gets high. Why should he be able to do that? Hes done zero for you by the sounds of things. Tell him you will drop it but you want half. Take it or leave it. He doesn’t want to split it…proceed with the case.
Any man who gathers a child shouldn’t have to be forced to support it if he’s not able to work social security will help read what the bible says about a man that don’t take care of his family the child didn’t ask to be here
No! Don’t drop it. I hate to sound ugly. but he got himself into the mess he’s in. Let him go to jail. Choose the behavior, choose the consequence. Needs to own up to it a be a Man. He will get clean in jail and hopefully Learn to be a responsible adult. Don’t enable him anymore.
Please don’t drop anything!!!
My ex said he would always be there for his girl’s but he was never there for them at all so please don’t drop it
No way hes just gonna do more drugs…put the money to good use for that beautiful child he helped to create.
I wouldn’t drop the case. In my opinion dropping the case is giving him a freebie to make adult choices but without adult consequences. It will also give him the impression that if he wines enough over something he will get his way. If he isnt working how did he get a stimulus in the first place?
If a court ordered him to pay, you cannot change that unless you go back to court. If you tell him that he doesn’t have to pay, than you are going against the court order
You will enabling him if you do. Besides, if he gets arrested and is on drugs… a good way to get him clean! Unless his parents get him out.
Do not drop it…the longer you enable him…the longer he does not hit rock bottom…he needs to get to his bottom in order to rise
Do not drop it. He should be supporting his child!
Do not drop your case his drug problem is his problem. He should have never fathered a child if he not going to support the child whether he’s with mom or not. He’s managed to support his drug use with the help of his enameling parents yes I said enameling because that’s what they are doing by allowing him to depend on them for money to keep his habits up. Every dime he comes across he should apply it to fines license what his hardship is instead of harassing you to drop child support once you drop it you completely lose and if his parents stop helping you with your child because your not dropping the child support against their son .then I wouldn’t want my child to grow with grandparents who won’t help their son support his child but will make excuses for him and continue to support his drug habits by allowing him to continue use them for his finances. Tough love is tough but for the sake of my child wellbeing and most of all her emotional state knowing her daddy would rather help himself than to help a child he help create. I still practice tough love today . I was scared at first now I’m stronger because of tough love.
Nope. Be very frank with him and let him know this is not about you or him, it’s about your daughter…the one he helped create. She doesn’t eat air and you know kids are expensive. Stimulus check…pfft…no shame. He needs to put his big boy pants on and deal with it. Don’t feel bad. Look at your beautiful daughter…she deserves more than this.
Why do you have to ask? The answer is no! He’s never going to help you and he should be ashamed of hisself for relying on his dad.
Since his parents help you out talk to them and get their advice. You don’t have to take it but you would have more to think about.
Don’t you DARE! For you to drop it is the same as enabling him to keep using drugs and putting HIS responsibility off on his parents! Let him go to jail!! Maybe while he’s in there, he’ll get sober and get his act together!!
Do Not! Repeat DO NOT DROP the case!!! His problems are not your problems. Your concern at this point is your daughter. That’s It that’s All!!! Enjoy that stimulus money. Take your daughter somewhere fun!
I would call and ,make sure he is not setting you up…he may be looking for a way out of paying
Why are you even asking this? You said his parents are helping you an your daughter. Well, they did not cause her life, he did. He is a straight up “Dead Beat” person. Do NOT give in! It it a major con on your feelings! Any male can cause a child. However, it takes a real man to be a Father! This guy isn’t a father. Sounds like he is whining for drug money. It is not your responbility to take care of him or to try to make him live up to his responbilities. He is a flake and a heavy weight dragging you and your daughter down. He doesn’t need you to drop the case. If he was current on payments, he would have the check. Not your problem. Its his. He caused it, he needs to deal with it, not you!!!
My ex owes 10 thousand for our kids and they are 22 year old twins and a 26 year old. I didnt get his stimulas check but damn sure I will never drop the case. Even when he called from jail crying for me to drop it
Do Not Drop the Case!!! So sorry he won’t get the money but it would not come to you and he would not be using it for his daughter. It’s nice his parents help you but he needs the right kind of help not the enabling. I will pray you can be at peace for the choice you make.
I wouldn’t drop it but it definitely sounds like he’s not able to take care of himself let alone his daughter which is why we have to be careful who we have kids with. If his parents are supporting him plus help supporting his child then I feel that should be considered his support for now until he gets his life together if he ever does. If it was me and I chose to do that for my son then I would just pay the money automatically through child support agency then to have my son out to be a bad guy when he obviously has issues. My son is currently in his first year of being in the military and does not have any kids but I have seen first hand how military life can affect u in a negative way especially if u have to fight in war and some turns to drugs to help cope with their reality. Not saying her ex is military but we don’t know his story, some gets addicted from prescription drugs needed due to accidents/ surgeries or whatever. This woman is very lucky to get support from the family because some don’t even get that. Him saying he will ask his dad is because that is who is supporting him and that support includes his child so who cares that it didn’t come from him directly. U want the help or u don’t. I’m not even sure why u were expecting it from him if u know he doesn’t have it