The reason he didn’t get a check is because he didn’t work and his parents support him! Have a friend who is in same boat didn’t get a check either for same reason! Please do not drop case for child support! Your baby needs the money and he needs to be a dad!
Are these real stories? Lol
If he hasn’t worked in years, how does he get a stimulus check???
Definitely don’t drop it!
I was in the same position…drop the case…not for him necessarily but for you. Separate yourself from him emotionally and financially and live your best life!
Agree with Brooke and no don’t drop it especially if you are going to have to use any kind of welfare. Hes equally responsible.
He is not your problem . Your have a daughter to worry about . He will figure it out. I get wanting to help. But sometimes you have to be the bad guy .
Having both been in your position and worked in the legal profession No! Let the court sort it out. He will tell you anything- they do- to get you to don what is best for them. And he won’t get the money back. Needs to get a job-plenty if people hiring workers- that may be the magic word- and he could get back on track. Kids needs come first !
I’d speak to the parents of him. See what there opinion is
Sis do I need to block him for you. His problems are his fault
If he hasn’t worked in years there’s no stimulus check. It was based on tax returns. He’s lying to you. Don’t feel bad for him. He’s not the victim here. You, your daughter & his parents are. If he grew up & took responsibility your daughter wouldn’t have to go without. You & his parents wouldn’t have to make as many sacrifices of he paid his share to support your daughter.
I believe there’s court hearings before they suspend a NCP"s DL & such. You would be informed of these hearings. Were you? My guess is he’s lying to you about everything. I know the constant asking is annoying & you just want to shut him up. Don’t do it. Cut off communication. The only reason you would need to talk is for your daughter. He doesn’t see her, has no decision making rights, no need to talk to him.
I’d drop the case. The guy doesn’t deserve to be let off the hook but you should deliver yourself from disappointment and unmet expectations. He’s just going to hound you and not get his act straight anyway so why bother. If he won’t fix himself how can you?
Nope. Those are problems he put himself into. It’s not your problem. You have to take care of your little one and if he’s behind that’s on him. You have to do what you have to to care for your child. He’s a grown man that can watch out for himself.
Do what is well with your soul. Hanging onto these things can bring on a lot of emotional and mental stuff for you. It’s really all how you feel about it and if you just want to move on and have no strings or if you want to think and about this the rest of your life- or until he’s paid up. Whatever sits well with your soul. Live your best life. Personally, I know I would drop it- just bc I wouldn’t want the heaviness of being tied to him. I know I would find a way to do it and then show my daughter that it can be done without a man. But that’s just me. That’s what my mom did. So that’s what I know.
He will most likely not get the stimulus check back. It should go 2 u 4 back support im guessing. Hes a deadbeat dad.
My uncle got sole custody of my cousin… the judge and lawyer put child support in place due to her mom being a drug addict and leaving her at 6 months if she were to try and go back for custody she’d have to pay all that back child support… the woman was clean for a few months out of the entire 18 years and she did try to take him to court… she’s back at drugs hardcore and has been in and out of prison could you imagine if she would have gotten a little bit of custody? Having an over night with that woman would have been hell.
No …do not drop the case… ps his parents are enabling him…
He needs to go to rehab… no one should be giving him a dime…
How this should read
“ you need help…you need to go to rehab, I will no longer give you a dime nor will you see your daughter until you get help”
Nope I would not drop the case. Jail sounds like the best place for him if hes on drugs. At least he will have to be clean for a little while. And if he so desperately wanted to stay out of jail he would not have gotten so far behind because they dont just lock someone up for that. It takes a very long times to go to jail for non payment of child support. I’m talking years not just a few months. You can’t tell me he was unable to pay $5 a month just something to show hes trying to do the right thing.
DONT EVER FEEL BAD FOR A MAN WHO REFUSES TO TAKE CARE OF HIS CHILD!!! hes a grown ass man with responsibilities and needs to man the fuck up and take care of them.
I wouldn’t drop it. A man works and does what he’s got to do for himself. Now he has a kid so he should be on the grind X2. Maybe if he had a job lined up and had his shit togethet. But if he’s using…he just wants that money for the next fix or something that won’t even be of any importance. The money hes supposed to provide to you for help is being paid and you are able to pay bills and buy her things she needs with that. That is his only contribution and if you end it…all of that will stop also. If you are financially secure and don’t need any help I guess. But its just allowing him to get his way.
I wouldn’t drop a DAMN thing. If child support took his stimulus check, he’s not getting it back even if you do drop the case. As a matter of fact, if you don’t/ never received welfare, the money will come straight to you.
Simply no. Grown ups need to learn about consequences.
Doesn’t sound like there is any real money to get. Do what is the easiest for you. Some times it is just better to let go and let God. Good luck to you and yours.
Don’t do it. Once you do you can’t change your mind and inevitably with as reliable as he has been supporting your child up until this point…don’t be duped into thinking he will change. My sister fell for the boo hoo story and she is now screwed out of back child support he promised to pay himself because once dropped they won’t let you try again in our state.
They all pit on a pity party for themselves! That is the dead beats!
His stimulus will come to you for your daughter. My husbands cousin got her exs because of the boys. Personally I wouldn’t drop it.
You can’t drop anything that has already went thru court unless you marry him an it sure seems like he can’t even take responsibility for his child so hell no don’t drop it
No He owes your child support & let it be taken from wherever they can
No, it’s for his child, not you. Think of what’s best for her, not him.
OK coming from experience I dropped my ex’s child support a couple times because he said that he would be there for her physically if I would drop the money because he couldn’t afford it! So when he wouldn’t be there for her after I did that I would pick the child support case backup I should have kept it open all along!
I’m not even going to read the whole story I just saw the bit about dropping the case and NOPE you shouldn’t… it’s for your child not you and if you don’t need the money make a savings for the child because they will need it at some point
Say thats not in my power to do the state took it over becasuse of her onsurance not me say its put of my hands… think smart my lady. Just say yours to pay i cant say not to pay it becayse then im responsible for paying your part for her insurace… maje stuff up …get thid leach off and away …far away from u.
I have something similar going on! But instead I filed child support almost 2 years ago and child support cant find him. I gave them his number his address his p.o box number everything and they told me they cannot do much if they can’t locate him. So im at my point of dropping the case and just working on how ima get her adopted with no $ right now.
No way don’t drop the case!
Nnnnooooo. Keep that money for the things your daughter wants like cheerleading. Sounds like he wants drug money
Nope don’t drop it. He had his chance to make it right a long time ago. Don’t fall for the same exact excuses.
If he is a drug addict he is just going to take that stimulus money and spend it on drugs anyways, benefiting nobody. I would tell him to clean up his act and become a physically and emotionally present father to your daughter first and then you’ll consider it
Do not drop your case against him! He needs to grow up and take responsibility of his child instead of making his parents do it for him. If it takes him getting arrested etc. then so be it. That’s his own fault for not doing what he needs to do for his child! Maybe then he’ll learn to be an adult and a father!
Girl no don’t drop the case
That money doesn’t belong to you…
That is your child’s money…
It’s not like he has stepped up in any form…this is not your problem it’s his…time for him to grow up
Tell him when he mans up and takes responsibility for his daughter and pays faithfully for 1 year, youll CONSIDER rethinking it.
DO NOT DROP ANYTHING on him, you’ll be so sorry,
Don’t drop the case… He deserves it. If you stop it he still won’t get the stimulas check if he owes back child support. But it’s up to you.
Let them put him in jail maybe he will learn something from it.
No dont drop it. U r supporting your child by yourself for the last ten years. U didn’t make the child by yourself u shouldn’t have to support her by yourself. The child should come before drugs but sadly that’s not the case alot of times.
I don’t think anybody told him he would get stimulus if you dropped the case…
In these days it takes a everything to raise a child!
I don’t think anything should be dropped he needs to man up start paying and working on getting what he’s lost due to not paying.
Stimulus went to back due child support so IF you were dumb enough to drop support now that would not erase his PAST DUE support no way for him to receive this stimulus check. Does he really think the govt is going to take it back from you? His parents while being extremely helpful to you have enabled this monster for 10 years- time to man up!!!
No screw him. Its his child and he needs to support her even if he makes the decision not to physically be there for her. Don’t feel bad for him. Your child deserves the money and he can get a 2nd or 3rd job to take care of his responsibilities.
No don’t drop it, He has to learn. He can work out a deal with you and the state to drop some of the back child support. That’s what I did, or you can agree to a lesser amount per week
First of all why are you being held responsible for his well being? Its not your job to support his drug habit,or keep him out of trouble. If his parents are willing to take up his slack for the rest of their life than so be it,(They certainly are not helping him) but dont let guilt put you in a unsettling place,you have enough on your plate being a single Mother!
Do not drop the case. Going to jail might give him the wake call he needs, going to jail will
give him a chance to get the help he needs with his substance abuse issues (he will have plenty of time and many jails now offer excellent treatment services) and going to jail can connect him with reentry services that will help him find a job.
Why is this even a question? Who cares if he gets locked up for HIS actions!!! Your daughter should be priority!!! He is only thinking about himself, not the child he created with you. Never drop child support… let him pay the consequences of not providing for his daughter.
And his parents are not responsible for providing for your daughter. It is awesome that they are stepping up, but they aren’t the ones responsible, he is and needs to pay.
Don’t do that. Narcissism for sure. Dont fall into the trap of his blame! No matter what it will be your fault. Let him keep blaming the case, you know that’s not what it is.
I’m praying for you to get some peace of mind!!
Seneca Buvoltz
No!!! Do not drop the case! That is money to help raise your child!! He doesn’t deserve the “easy way out!” He sounds like he needs a swift kick of “Welcome to bring an adult education!” Stand. Your. Ground!! Don’t give in!!
Child support is for his children he should be paying don’t back down. Poor him! Your children deserve every penny owed to them. He knows by not paying what will happen. Dont you dare feel sorry for him.
dont drop it i did that for my oldest sons dad when he was five for he called and was pissed that his taxes was taken. i told him if he wasn’t gonna pay to help with his son he needed to also sign a paper giving up parental right he was more than willing which was a sad day for my son that he was more worried about his money than his child and when i dropped it he signed the paper i never herd from him again and neither did my son what a disappointment but i did have full right to all decisions from that day with no interference in raising my child
Don’t do it!! Make him be a man:rage: I just found out my kids’ donor started a business & put it all in his brother’s name. CS is going after the business as we speak. No fair that he’s living this lavish lifestyle while we live paycheck to paycheck. Don’t let up, it took two to make that beautiful life. Make him pay!! Good luck
Do not drop that child support case! Your child’s needs far outweigh his!
Dont do it. I wrote off 30,000 in back child support so my ex husband didnt lose his cdl license. Wasnt long after I wrote it off he was no longer in my boys life. They havent seen or talked.to them then years. At one point he live 5 mins away. Bow he lives 15 mins away and has never met his 5 year old grandson. Let him bitch and complain all he wants. Dont do it. I do regret that.
I don’t know why 21 people laughed at this. Typical of asking the internet for advice. I have been in your shoes. Do not drop it. It’s on him not you that at 30 years old he can’t get his shit together. He laid down with you and made that baby too.
Don’t drop it. Hell no. He needs to lay in the bed he made. Mommy and daddy won’t always be there to bail him out of his mishaps. And next he’ll be coming to you for help.
I agree do not drop it! He will just use that money on more drugs for himself, etc. Plus I have never heard of ANY PLACE not hiring someone because they pay child support…many set it up to where it is taken out BEFORE you even get it!
Dont drop it. If he can supply for his drugs then he can supply for his daughter. Her Grandparents are doing their part to have a bond with their granddaughter. He needs to Man up.
Don’t release the Order. He made em, time to provide for them. Leave it and when he gets any money, real estate or is the recipient in his folks will the KIDS will be paid what their excuse for a father would spend on himself. No excuses for DEADBEATS male or female.
Don’t drop it, 1200 is alot of drugs he could buy.
You need your financial help wherever you can get it given he ain’t helping. Js
No. If he can get drugs his support needs paid.
Do not drop anything.
Nope! Plain and simple
Do not drop it my daughter 17 and I got my ex’s stimulus check for child support. You didn’t lay down and make your child by yourself why the hell should he get off without helping support her. My ex refuses to work to avoid child support his girlfriend supports him. He works under the table and deals drugs. DO NOT LET HIM OFF THE HOOK LET HIM GO TO JAIL HE MIGHT GET CLEAN AND FINALLY BE RESPONSIBLE!
Don’t drop it Whoever this might be look at it like this if you were to drop it and his parents stop helping you or even could pass on who will help you with the child it’s his responsibility to help support the child and he isn’t stepping up to do so because he knows his parents will they didn’t make the child he helped make he needs a wake up call the child is who suffers from lack of his priority and being a part of this child’s life if you had any government assistance if you drop him from it you can lose that help as well he shouldn’t have a free pass if he has money for drugs he has money to pay support and should be don’t let him get off so easy it’s not about the money it’s for the children who they help make but ain’t stepping up to even help or even be a parent how is that’s right at all we don’t make them by ourselves and shouldn’t have to do it all on our own yes there’s a lot of people who do but for once be someone who is making them responsible for the children as well for there sake also look at it this way if you let him off when he can go by drugs what message do you send to the kids when they grow up they will see you held him accountable for help making that child and teaching them people are responsible for making that life would you want that child to learn anything in the world they know what to do if they were put in that situation to be the voice for our children that matters in life we don’t make babies by ourselves it’s there responsible also it’s not greed it’s called responsibility he should be man enough to help with that responsibility to support that child or children as well no free passes hold him accountable just like you would want your children to know and be one day when they become parents as well
Don’t drop the charges. Teach him a good lesson for your daughter. All about her!!
Absolutely not my ex still owe me over 46,000 dollars in back child support and I’m sure it more by know. He doesn’t help either and no I’m not dropping my case either.
WAIT!!! Don’t drop anything because if he ever comes into any money or an inheritance you may be able to get all that back child support he owes. It could be at a time when your child really needs it like for college or trade school! Just my opinion.
Addiction is a disease.
He needs help. I feel.
He may even be able to get Social Security.
Most likely
He’s unable to hold a job it sounds to me. His parents have been there for him. They need to go to al anon, to learn how not to enable him.
He must learn responsibilities.
Also.
His daughter is his responsibility too. Not only the money, sounds he must learn to grow up.
What’s gonna happen when his parents pass away.
Good luck.
I am a senior and don’t know you from Adam. Young lady stick up for your child, his parents need to quit enabling their (low life, druggie son) keep that money to raise his child and don’t look back nor feel guilty. He can blame his life on who ever but no one held him hostage for making the choices he did. You hang in there prayers to you.
I was in the same boat a few years back. I told my ex when he got sober and could parent, I would do what I could. My son and I prayed for him nightly. He got sober and started to pay child support after almost 3 years, he kept a job for a year, then he ask to start seeing my son. When all those things were in place I ask the state to drop his child support to the minimum amount. I couldn’t ask for zero because my son has special needs and we use State Medicaid as a secondary insurance. He’s still has to pay more than minimum because of his back child support, but his consequences are for him.
If he were current on his support they wouldn’t have taken it. Do NOT drop the case…and only feel bad he is an irresponsible father…his parents aren’t doing him any favors bailing him out paying his way and enabling him to continue to disregard his responsibilities.
Do not drop the child support case! Let him whim to you about the stimulus check. He’s been whining to you about everything for the past ten years. He is a grown man who has a child to support. He needs to support her. Let him take bottles and cans back to the store, let him get a job. His parents seem wonderful although they are enabling him and so he figures he can manipulate you to enable him, also. The basic truth is that he has a child to support and he better find a job and start doing what he should have done ten years ago. Drugs is an enabler to him so he really doesn’t need his parents or you doing it also. He needs to stop the drugs, grow up and be responsible. Think about how your daughter feels if she knows her dad doesn’t love her enough to stop the drugs for her so she can have a healthy relationship with him. Think about her older years, she will either be disgusted by this type of behavior because it has caused her so much pain, or she will indulge because it is what she has seen. Children live what they learn. He is doesn’t want to grow up for his parents to give them less stress, then he should do it for the child he loves?!
Do not drop the case against him!!! A real man would take care of his child. Who cares that he didn’t get his stimulus check??? He would have if he was taking care of his child like he is supposed to!!!
Don’t drop it, my daughter was in the exact situation, he couldn’t get a job with no license or insurance, she forgave him $17000.00, 1 year later he’s right back in the same situation, make him grow up and take responsibility. I know it’s hard but it’s not about him it’s about your daughter
Call your attorney. They will give you the legal advice you need. If it were me though I wouldn’t drop anything. It’s his child as well and he needs to help you . I wouldn’t feel one but sorry for him.
No, do not drop it. He is responsible for his child. Sounds like he isn’t doing anything right. Why did the state take his stimulus, why is his license suspended, why is there a warrant for his arrest. As far as child support office giving him advice, I don’t believe him. If he’s never given you support for his daughter, shame on you for allowing him to get away with it in the past.
Nope! He owes his daughter that money AT THE VERY LEAST!! even if he has to sleep in his car… TOUGH!! it’s not up to his parents to provide for his daughter… it’s HIS responsibility!
Do what you think is right I just let it all go and took care of my daughter by myself and his family never helped or even acknowledge my child so I’m glad his parents are involved that is a blessing sometimes we just have to let go dont feel guilty for what you decide but they should give the stimulus check to you that doesn’t make sense if they took it bc of child support you should have it not him you should check into that goodluck
My sons’ father didn’t support them and worked under false identifications for many years. When he applied for disability and received it my boys were 21 and 23. The SYSTEM caught him then and he had to pay every dollar owed. My sons were in their mid thirties when he was done. I laughed every month I saw that money on that card. We could have really used it when they were toddlers to teenagers…but…it spent just as well when they were grown. We drank beer and toasted to him plenty of times. My situation is one of few that the government stayed after him and got the child support. Yours is another-you don’t owe him anything-not even the time to think about him. Your child will be fine without him…hasn’t she always been?
Do not drop the case. He will never take responsibility for his daughter. If he gets the money it will go for drugs. If his parents are supporting him then they are enablers. Be strong. Do not give in. You are not responsible for his problems. His life choices have gotten him where he is. If he doesn’t like where he is then it is up to him to make better choices.
Dont drop it. He has made his own choices, no job-hus choice, suspended license- his choice and if he goes to jail then so be it, he has had more than enough chances to do the right thing. He needs a wake up call and jail might be just the best thing for him.
If he should happen to get a windfall it would be good for you if you continue it. I have seen many cases that estates and settlements have been agreed upon to settle child support cases. He needs to step up to his responsibility. You have nothing to ever feel guilty about so dont let him badger you into giving it up. It is him that is creating the situation of not being employed. At least you got his stimulus money. And if he ever files taxes for a refund u should get that as well. Please dont let him make u feel bad for receiving ‘his’ money.
Absolutely not. As your childs mother you must protect her rights. She is entitled to his support. I never expected to receivevwhat he was ordered to pay as he also was very irresponsible. My ex never paid a penny until my youngest was about to enter college and my ex inherited a large sum of money that was confiscated by child support inforcement and paid to me. This allowed my son to attend college. You never know when he may get it together and if you drop the child support case you are saying “my child does not deserve the support of her father”.
Take what you can get because by letting him have the money you are only enabling him to continue with drugs. He needs help and only he can decide if he wants to get a life or not
So let me address this as a single father who won sole custody of my four children and was in the exact opposite position of you because their mother never paid support
I won temporary custody in 2000 and at the end of 2000 I won sole custody in 2001 she went to Los Angeles had no contact with the kids for over 5 years and still was not given any child support and she signed off all rights on the children terminating her rights voluntarily
Don’t drop the case, it is time for him to grow up and take responsibility for his daughter. He is going to bother you no matter what, he needs to get a job and help take care of his daughter. He does not need that stimulus check it should go to you to take care of your daughter. If he gets that check he will probably use it on drugs and not his daughter. Don’t feel guilty or sorry for him, he did this to himself.
This sounds like the story i went through with my daughter. Do not drop it girl! There is nothing for you to feel guilty about. He should feel guilty and pitiful obviously he doesnt. Dont make it easier for him to continue his self destructive behaviors.
Chsnge your number , and never drop the needed support… from experience. Let the courts do the work. I stayed out of it snd eventually it worked out.
If he is an addict his stimulus check would not help him anyway. Your thinking really needs to be focused on only one person, your innocent daughter. Do what is right for her! If your relationship with her grandparents is good discuss the issue with them but remain focused on your daughter. It appears that they are also enablers for their son.
No. Your child deserves all that can be provided for her. She should never have to suffer for his poor choices in life.
He needs to grow up. You dont need to enable him cuz his parents already are. If he has money for drugs he can pay you. Even if these guys would only give you $5 a week at least that shows some effort. Good luck
Hell no don’t drop it. Yes you will be enabling him. The child support case has nothing to do with him not being able to get a job by gosh it should be motivation to get one so that is a bold face lie. Maybe he needs some jail time to get off drugs and think clearly and hopefully get right. So heck no don’t do it. My husbands bm wouldn’t let him see his kids I advised him to go put himself on cs because it’s his responsibility to take care of them anyways and then there’d be a court order for him to see his kids. So no do not let him get off scot free. He made that child she’s his responsibility regardless how long it takes for him to pay and if the state needs to pay his debt then so be it. He damn sure doesn’t deserve free money he’s not working anyways. So no please do not drop it and give his sorry ass a dime back. Fuxk u need to worry bout his pockets when he doesn’t worry bout yours. No No No!!!
Do not drop it my husband paid his child support faithfully you will be enabling him since hes an addict its not your fault his lifes a mess… sounds like he needs a reality check anyway