I have been with my partner for over a year. When we first started our relationship he was ringing her almost every night. On speaker and included me in the calls. When I met her she was flirty towards my partner, competitive towards me and was continually bringing up their relationship including sex. I was no longer comfortable with him keeping so much contact. So he would only ring her when I wasn’t there. I told him I was not comfortable with that and he said he would stop talking to her. Stupidly I said I didn’t want to stop their friendship but he should also ring when I’m around not only when I’m not. He has rung her again with me not around. Everything else in our relationship is good but i feel like he allowed her to disrespect me and i feel he is disrespecting me .Should I just walk away ?
he won’t let her go… do you really want to be in competition with her & their relationship the entire time yall are together?
It’s only been a year. Take a small heart break and move on. No man should EVER make you feel less to another woman. Best friend, old friend, ex girlfriend. If you don’t feel comfortable and he didn’t stop. She is before you.
I think you’re in a threesome and not aware of it
You’re allowing him to disrespect you. And likely cheat on you. Walk away with your head held high.
Stop investing so much time into someone who isn’t willing to respect your boundaries or your relationship.
Definitely leave… he isn’t giving you the 100% you deserve
Um. That friendship has crossed boundaries. Me and my husband don’t allow them typ of friends unless it’s an open relationship
Yes. Stay at Home Moms
Am i the only one that had a hard time understanding what she meant?
No one can tell you what you are feeling if you are uncomfortable and have expressed it multiple times then it’s time to walk away if nothing is changing
Ummmm, so are you poly? Do you have an open relationship? Swingers? I’m not sure what sort of agreements you guys have in place, but it sounds like some kind of ENM. If he’s poly, or you’ve agreed to a polyamorous dynamic, then you can’t interfere with his other relationship because it has nothing to do with you. However, if you guys have just an open relationship and/or are swingers, then the primary relationship is supposed to take precedence over the hookups or fwbs.
Are you sure you’re still in it?
It continues bc he enjoys getting his ego stroked, and unfortunately it probably not limited to just his ego
Lifes to short to deal with that bs,move on
Walk away now 100% you deserve better he’s already disrespecting you already!!
I’m so confused
Who is she lol I’m so confused rn
If someone isn’t willing to respect your boundaries, and is treating another woman to behaviour you would only find acceptable being placed towards yourself then leave.
There are boundaries, and yes they might just be friends, but if their level of flintiness and volume of calls makes you uncomfortable, and they’re refusing to stop, do you really want to be this anxious and uncomfortable forever?
We’re not mind readers,. We need to know who “her” is
My head hurts reading this, someone explain whats going on please
You told him and said u didn’t want him to stop their friendship and he should only talk to her when you’re not around but now you’re feeling disrespected because of what you’ve allowed? Just leave if you want. But you also need to understand that the minute you’ve allowed him to keep doing what he was doing that was a green light for lots of other things.
Walk away. If someone is dating someone and don’t feel comfortable of a friendship and has expressed it and still goes against your wishes then he has no respect. I was friends with my ex my man didn’t like it but accepted it. But eventually my ex wasn’t my friend any more since he always down talk my man to me.
If you don’t get the idea he’s cheating on you then you’re hopeless girl.
Friendship does not include talking all the time, especially if they’ve had sex. Friendship isn’t trying to hide it. He has a thing for this girl.
You’re better off cutting ties before anything more serious makes things complicated for you.
That’s how my narcissist relationship started too! RUN!!! Don’t look back. It’s disrespectful to the max. The fact that your questioning it should tell you.
Is this a friend who’s a girl??? or an ex?? Nice job on the details I shall call you THE RIDDLER🤪
What did I just read!
If he’s still talking to his ex, there’s still unfinished business. Get out and let him go back to her. Go find yourself a real man!!!
Her as in you? You sound like the side chick sweetie.
You just answered your own question!!!
Just leave why you want a dude like that
Bringing up what, including sex in what relationship, who’s the man with fgs sounds like he’s with her, ur just the side
I would end it if it were me. Sorry but if he was that in to you then he wouldn’t keep calling the ex. Find someone who devotes all their time into you and your relationship.
I’m starting to wonder if these posts are real or people truly don’t know what to do.
Please respect yourself enough to know that you deserve to be the ONLY one in his life. You should leave now.
Hes playing you my dear. Yes walk away. His relationship with her is not over. Move on
NEVER trust him the just friends thing is bullshit and if have been intimate previously! If he can’t understand your issue then bin him
I’m quite confused… if it’s an ex, leave now or forever be abused. If it’s just a friend, leave now, or forever be abused. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationship they have/had, if you have voiced your discomfort with the situation and he is disregarding your feelings, then he does not respect you. Leave now before it’s too late.
Who the hell is her? Get rid of him and her. The end.
Run !!! As fast as you can.
Missing half the details…
It doesn’t sound good. He is not over her. It sounds like you are the rebound girl. I would move on to someone who loves and respects you.
He’s clearly cheating right in front of you and you’re asking if you should end it?
You’re the rebound chick. This isn’t going to end well.
Who was he calling?!! His baby momma? His ex? His mom? Who?!
If ur poly in ur relationship then it should be an agreed apon matter to everyone involved. If not then leave. Either or if ur unhappy leave dont make yourself and others suffer
Girl sorry to say but it sounds like you’ve been the other woman from the beginning
How did you both meet? Just understand that if you both have a past then nothing to complain about
My brain hurts. Wtf is this
Who is this person? Hell no
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Is she an ex? His child’s mother? Just a “friend”? If she’s just a “friend”…well, no she’s not. Run.
Who is she? Xwife? Mother of his kids?
Walk??? Hell nah, RUN
If he cared about you he wouldn’t allow ANYONE to disrespect you.
LEAVE
I just re-read this 3 times and I’m so confused!
Who is this woman he is ‘ringing’ and why must he ‘ring’ her!?
Walk? You should run
If you have to ask, you already know the answer.
I think you need to think about your future and walk away. It doesnt matter if they have kids together or not. No excuse for another women to talk about their past that has ended eapecially sex life. Even if she tries too he should not allow it being with you. Not ring at all. His trying to have his cake and eat it too. Walk away now or you would always be left aside effecting you emotionally and destroying you.
Run! Red flags everywhere the entire year. Don’t waste not one more second of your life! When he tries to call you back don’t answer and block all calls and any type of interaction. Luckily it’s only been a year but again…run quickly away from this situation and NEVER look back.
I’m really not sure how much more I can cope with this page, it literally hurts my Brian x
Nope. It’s either you or her. That is disrespectful AF on her and his part.
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Learn how to write so the rest of us understands what ur asking for advice for instead of ur choppy letter …also be specific
This entire story is messed up.
Just run away. There’s clearly something still going on there. He sounds as though he is having his cake an eating it happily and that’s just not ok. He shouldn’t feel comfortable talking to an ex about his sex life with them after the fact an especially right in front of his current girlfriend like she isn’t even there. The fact that this woman challenges you an is trying to compete with you means she knows she still has something over him and knows she can get him back if she wanted to no problem an just wants you to know she will be there immediately if there’s ever an issue between you an him. She’ll happily be the shoulder he goes to cry on and the bed he sleeps in. She’s evil and he’s clouded in judgement by her.
Make sure to assure him that you wont desperately “cling” to him after your gone and he’ll be free to pursue an uncluttered new relationship
Can you be more specific what are you talking about ma’am are you talking about your boyfriend girlfriend like he has a girl that’s a friend and that’s a problem? Because the only thing I’m seeing here is ring her don’t ring her ring her don’t ring her ring her when I’m around ring her when I’m not around and I’m getting dizzy what is it what are you talking about exactly so I can answer accordingly I’m so lost who is her ??? For all  I know you could have a third party involved swinger type shit lol And if you want a straightforward honest answer I’ll give it to you I don’t be around the bush and I don’t sugar cut but you’re also a problem in this situation as well so I’ll have to tell you what to do on your behalf as well
Baby RUN don’t walk!! If he truly cared and or loved u he would not have let her do that to u. No matter the situation!! A true man would have put her in her place. Now I’m not sure who she is or why he needs to ring her so much. However I wouldn’t sit around and wait he’s probably already doing her.
Don’t walk away, RUN away.
No kids, no reason to communicate. It’s her or you.
If you’re asked , you know the answer Think five years from now what do you see
I’m in the “I’m confused” camp. A significant part of this story is missing. Who is “she”? I’m assuming an ex… but that’s a giant potential range from friends with benefits to mother of his child or even an ex-spouse (and who knows what else I’m not thinking of).
This story is also missing significant parts of your relationship… do you live together, talk of the future, kids, your ages, etc.
Either way- (and this is an extremely generalized response based on almost no detail) he is more committed to “her” than he is to you. And after a year, you have a GIANT trust issue- that based on the information available- HE created. I don’t know if there’s any “real” reasons to try and repair anything because “everything else in our relationship is good” isn’t a lot to build on if the trust isn’t there. I’m not usually of the mindset of “just walk away” but in this case (based on very limited info) I would probably cut my losses before I have more than a year invested because trust is huge. And if he’s still calling her (and there’s no reason for continuing contact) and you are getting a vibe and she’s recalling their “relationship including sex”, go with your instincts and walk away. If he’s invested in you- he’s not hanging onto a past relationship. And if you can’t trust him now- that’s not likely to change.
Having been in relationships where trust was difficult to maintain and in a relationship (20 + year marriage) where trust is not in question, I can tell you that the peace that comes with trust not questioned is absolutely priceless
Run run
You are not in a relationship. You are a side piece. I’m sure everyone else is too. Have some dignity. No one is respecting anyone in that situation.
Why didn’t you guys have a serious talk about it. You let him know how you feel and yet he still calls her. So just say that you feel that he isn’t putting your feelings into consideration and that the things they talk about are still very intimate. Let him know casually you aren’t into polygamous relationships and your re considering leaving
She is bringing their past relationship including sex up in conservation. How does he respond? Does he bring it up? Do they have children?
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What are you trying to say?
You need to hone your writing skills.
Please try again, this time with pertinent details and a coherent timeline.
Is she a friend, FWB, a ployamorous timeliness.
Sheeeeeeeeesh…
I would end it , it seems as though you may be that “third wheel” side piece
It sounds like they are in a relationship and you’re the friend. I’d definitely end it
You really wanna waste your one life living it like this?
- Who is her?
- Why is he contacting her?
- If he’s in a relationship with you, and you’ve voiced how uncomfortable you are, than why does he feel the need to maintain any sort of friendship/relationship with her?
Decided what you will and will not accept from anyone you’re in a relationship. Make your boundaries clear to them and accept nothing less. It’s all about knowing your self worth.
No just go back to school ma’am
She only does what he allows. I’m assuming that this is an ex or a “best friend” like my sons father had (multiples of) and he cheated one me with each of those “best friends” (all were ex’s) so I left him and he “tried” to fix it by making a new Facebook and Snapchat to keep them separate when he was around me. yea I haven’t talked to him and he doesn’t ask to see his kid.
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Half ass story and detail. Lost me in the second sentence.
That sounds very confusing if their flirty n constantly talking and u wont have him choose u or her thats kinda bad on ur part he doesnt need her if he has u yunno? Especially if they hav a history
Fuck yes. If you’re having to ask on this site do yourself and everyone else a favour.
She and your partner were sexual partners. She has let you know that in no uncertain terms. Your partner has heard her negative comments towards you but did not defend you and did not break off contact with her. You did tell let him know you weren’t comfortable with those calls but it does not seem that you did not let tell him flat out that it is not ok for him to continue to communicate with her. He is continuing to communicate as long as you are not present.
He is disrespectful to you by not defending you and by continuing to contact her. He is also immature for not moving on from her while he is in a relationship with you. There are too many red flags here for this to be a healthy relationship for you. Get out before you lose respect for yourself.
She’s keeping him hanging on and he may well be an occasional sexual partner for her.
I think you rightly feel uncomfortable by this relationship. Let him know it is her or you and prepare to leave, if you are living together. Seriously. Begin doing things with friends and be unavailable to him. Begin filling your life with other friends and activities so that you can be stronger and resolute when the time comes for you to end contact and move on. If you live together, start looking for somewhere to move and move out if he continues to disregard your feelings by continuing to contact her.
I don’t think he’s mature enough to be in any relationships. I don’t think he respects for feelings. It is time for you to find someone who loves and respects you.
GO. Do not collect $200. Get out!
This was poorly written but it sounds like his ex girlfriend is now his friend and he has a new girlfriend. The way he’s still calling this woman even though she keeps disrespecting you and your relationship. I’d leave or tell him firmly, “I tried to be understanding but I’ve had my limit (so and so) doesn’t have boundaries and it’s completely inappropriate how she behaves. Not only towards you, but it’s disrespectful to your relationship with me and me. You need to cut off all contact now or I’m done
Um get rid of him let HER have him
She can’t do what he doesn’t allow… this is ALL on him. Her disrespecting you isn’t the problem… it’s him disrespecting you that’s the issue! Might as well pack. He done made his choice.
Umm bye bye… why would you want that type of relationship!!! If your asking these questions now , well to me you have made your decision already!!
yes cause they are friends with benefits.
Let her have him back.
Nahhh he gotta go if he can’t respect your boundaries .
Did I miss something… who is “her”?!?!
Lol sounds like ur a door mat
Yes, walk away. Let them have each other. He evidently doesn’t love you enough to cut ties with her. You don’t deserve to be disrespected in that manner.