Should I even try with my in-laws anymore?

Some of my husbands family sucks too and I understand ur feeling but u shouldn’t cut them out if they try. If they don’t try thats on them but don’t force them out. That’s all I can say. :heart:

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I understand it hurts when people play favorites. I don’t understand why they lied to your husband. That makes no sense. It’s going to hurt your youngest son when they are not in his birthday pics but are in the oldest son’s birthday pics. Kids notice these things. Just forget them and don’t include them in any more holidays or special events. Sorry you are going through this. Hold your head high and live your life without them from here on. I wish you all the best.

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Chi those ppl are grown and don’t have to tell you or him when they are going on vacation. If they are involved and love your kids then yes you are over reacting. and seems quite selfish you want them there for a picture??? There’s bigger things to be mad over.

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They’re already past raising and taking care of kids, seems like they’re just trying to enjoy themselves. And if you feel like you should write them off then do so, and make sure they know why.

Let’s just say my in laws went out vacay the same weekend thier own daughter was due for thier grandchild and they missed his birth and then 3 years later she committed suicide and they feel the need to fill that kids life as much as possible cause mom is gone and they don’t really want any of the other grandchildren now. So I kinda written them off they see the kids on holidays maybe if they ask us to come by but the refuse to come to my home so I’m kinda in the same boat…

Really that is the way most parents are. Maybe if it was such a big deal you could have had the party before or after their vacation considering a vacation is a lot harder to reschedule than a birthday party.

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UPDATE: since I wasn’t right on the money with this comment there’s no other grand kids but that’s besides the point.

Guys I think she’s saying they favor other grandchildren more then hers which isn’t right and by her story seems like they just stopped coming around to even see the grand children and hasn’t even seen their newest really which is really weird I can see where she kinda coming from because it isn’t fair to the grandkids when their grandparents favor their cousins over them it probably hurts the kids when their grandparents don’t even want to see them so I think that’s where she’s leaning not just specifically talking about the vacay but it’s an example

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A birthday can be celebrated on any day, as long as they love your kids, and treat them well there’s no issue. You’re severely overreacting.

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I think you’re taking all of this way too personally. It sounds like these people are just living their life and you’re expecting their lives to revolve around your family a bit too much. You’re hurting yourself with your unrealistic expectations. Preventing relationships between them and your children will only be detrimental to the kids and your kids may come to resent you for it in the future. They don’t have to be all about you for there to be a relationship.

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All of the whingeing explains why they dont like you. :sweat_smile::woman_facepalming:

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I grew up like this. My dads parents thought my aunts kids hung the moon and were always flying from Illinois to see them in Flordia. I remember being 5 and feeling like their house was so cold and unwelcoming. They always blamed my moms parents for it, dont exactly know why since my moms parents were always there for me. Still are. My dads dad realized that he messed up when he was on his death bed. He told me that he wished he had a relationship with me and my younger brother. My dads mom…still doesnt really care. She wouldn’t know my brother or I if she bumped into us on the street. I wouldn’t try to force a relationship with them if it’s clear they don’t want one. As bad as that sounds…the kids will pick up on feeling unwanted with them and that’s worse than never seeing them. Surround them with the family and friends who are there for them and love them…

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WTF is wrong with YOU?
They don’t need your permission or ok to go on a vacation THEY paid for and not “depending” on your husband doesn’t mean they don’t love him it means they aren’t burdening him
I hope to God your husband escapes your narcissist ass before it’s too late

What??? It’s only his first birthday, as long as they celebrate it when they get back sld be just fine. WOW not gonna allow them to be part of their life’s??? Smh wow what’s wrong with some of u women 🥲
Get a grip on reality hunny. They aren’t gonna make it to everything… calm down. Their grandparents

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I would try talking to them. Tell them it hurt you because they are important to you. Sometimes people really don’t get it and communication is key.

This is parenting with peers from the everyone gets a trophy generation because big yikes. Everyone’s relationship to people are different and based on your behavior, I’m sure the inlaws would be super cool with zero contact with their doormat son and his dramatic wife. I have nieces and nephews that are closure to my parents and than mine and that is cool. It’s all love in different ways. Get a grip. Kids only notice what you make an issue. Some people I can tell really need to heal that inner child.

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To me, a birthday is no big deal, but to each their own. At the end of the day, they are your kids and it’s your life. If you feel they are being toxic, that’s your choice to push them out or limit contact. I don’t know why people come on the internet to seek validations about their decisions. Only YOU can make you happy. It seems you already know how you want to go about this.

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Sounds like you’re overreacting to me. It’s a birthday…

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If this is all they have done i think you’re being dramatic. The first birthday is for the parents not the kids so I doubt your son will even care. Most dils don’t want their mil around when they have babies, sounds like she wasn’t even in the state I wouldn’t cry about it unless you needed her to hold your hand while you push, which I doubt. Maybe she’s trying not to be all up in your business so she stays back and lets you guys do your own thing and is just closer to her daughter. My mom is closer to me than my brother but loves us the same. I just need her more than my brother does. I think you’re being petty and just want an excuse to cut her out. Your oldest obviously loves her and shouldn’t be cut off from grandparents and cousins because mommy is butthurt.

You sound petty as hell.

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One can get more with honey then sour grapes

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This is a huge over reaction in my opinion. The world doesn’t revolve around you and your family. They’re adults and don’t owe it to you to tell you anything about their vacation plans. You’re overly entitled and it’s probably why they’ve put up boundaries around you. Sometimes we’re the problem. Reflect on your behavior.

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Asking them to reschedule their vcay? Ya sounds like your over reacting, sorry. But if they don’t care why would you want them around anyways? Have a good time with YOUR kids.

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Honestly, they’re grandparents. It’s their time to choose how they spend their own time. If they want a vacation so be it! They can always celebrate the birthday when they get back. I think you’re being a little dramatic about it. You can’t control how someone else spends their time.

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Will the kid remember they missed their first birthday? No. Then move on.

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If it’s a big deal to you then shouldn’t you reschedule the bday

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I am with you. Birthdays are important in my family. My inlaws would never ever miss my kids birthday, birth, christening etc. I would be very hurt too. Especially a 1st birthday. Missing a birthday here or there over the years is ok but they sound like they just don’t care much about your hubby and kids. Keep your distance. Stop inviting them. Don’t call them. Let them come around to you.

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You’re overreacting. It’s a first birthday, your son won’t even remember who was there and who wasn’t. We don’t even really celebrate the first birthday in my family cause the party is more for the adults than the child that is to young to even understand what is going on. And I’ve gone on plenty of vacations without insurance…I didn’t know vacation insurance was a thing :joy:

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If you feel the need to then pull away. It would hurt my feelings if my mom didn’t come to my kid’s first birthday. Just know you can’t rely on them to be there for the big moments and act accordingly.

This is your husband’s decision.

Without them, your husband wouldn’t be here! Why make life harder then need be? It’s very important your children know their family ( both sides) you don’t have to like them ( obvious you aren’t a fan) but be a good mother and partner and keep those negative thoughts to yourself, it’s unfair. A unfair you are creating.

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Totally overreacting for me

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You’re selfish!! My momma would slap ya back to reality! YOU decided to have babies. Not your parents, not your in-laws. They did their job, raising you! Do your part. Stop being a brat and handle your own responsibilities. Nobodys life should stop just because YOU have a baby.

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I feel like there’s a lot more here than you’re saying that makes you feel that your husband isn’t loved by them.
Here’s my motto:
“Don’t allow people in your life who steal your peace.”
Petty or not, if your peace is being disrupted by their obvious disregard for your feelings then cut them off. Contrary to what everyone else is saying, you are allowed to feel hurt no matter how small the situation may seem and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for choosing your happiness over anyone else’s. :v:

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Toxic is toxic. If you truly believe this is best way then own it. I’ve done this myself. It’s not easy but often needs to happen. Make sure you do it for the right reasons and that you’ve done all you can do otherwise.

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I can not believe the amount of people against you on this! This is not overreacting, this is not petty, and this is not just the husband’s decision. Wow! It sounds like they are purposely avoiding important parts of their grandkids lives! I’m assuming they have other grandbabies? It may very well be favoritism.

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So have another birthday party when they get back from vacation. You are making a mountain out of a mole hill.

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The first year is a celebration you got through the first year… I don’t invite anyone anymore if they come they come!

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It’s their loss. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, your kids won’t either.

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Um you sound like a ENTITLED lli lol girl. They owe you nothing or to cancel their vacation because of how you feel.

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I would have the party, let them.go do what they are going to do. Have fun with your little family & friends. If they want to be shitty about missing it then tell them they are welcome to throw another party at their expense. Don’t let them get you down, and if they don’t want to make your little family apart of their plans. Start doing things without them. Don’t let toxic people hurt your plans. Time to just hold your head high & let those people go.

I completely understand, my dad has never been to anything for my kids. Thinks a. Happy birthday is sufficient. I don’t invite him anymore because he didn’t even come to my wedding. After he raised me. I was a daddy’s girl most of my life :sob::sob: it hurts so bad so I completely get it.

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You’re hurt okay, but you’re also overreacting.

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Treat them the way they treat you and your kids.

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You sound like a whiny, entitled brat. Get over yourself.

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I guess you feel how you feel :woman_shrugging:t2: but why punish your children if they want to see their grandparents? And I’m just gonna say it if this is really the worst issue count your blessings. Sounds like there is more to why you feel this way. Does your husband feel like he wants to cut ties? I think the inlaws just planned a trip for the heck of it and just to enjoy it doesn’t sound like ill will or trying to upset anyone.

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  1. Invite them
  2. Accept their answer
  3. Move on.
    You don’t need their negatively in you life
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If you push them away you will really quickly realize how fast you pushed your hubby away as well.
I am sorry but you need to try to get along with them.
But don’t make extra effort if they call answer if they don’t problem solved

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My ex inlaws didnt even come to meet our son in hospital and then didn’t show up at his first bday either. Made a brief appearance at our baby shower to give us gifts to make them look like great people then basically left.considering they live over an hour a way thought they would have stayed longer. In the whole 2 years we were together i think they came to our house twice.

If they decide not to come to birthdays or other things…then they miss out on creating those memories with their grandchildren and that’s on them. You can be kind to them and invite them but if they choose not to come then just say okay and let it fall off your shoulders. This is your kiddo. You are going to be there right? Creating memories, taking pictures to show them when they are older and giggle about the cake all over their face. It’s going to be fine. Your kiddo is going to be fine. As long as you don’t make it super important then your kiddo won’t know the difference. Families…sometimes live far away from each other, or sometimes they just aren’t as involved as we would like. But your kids will remember who was and build healthy happy relationships all the same. Sometimes…we have all the feelings and we get ahead of ourselves. The thing you gotta remember is that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel as long is you handle those feelings correctly. Don’t let your feelings build up into anger and resentment. We are all humans who all see life and feel things differently than others and that’s okay. Take a deep breath. Let it all fall off of you mama and enjoy these moments with your little family.

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Is the issue really the birthday party or is it that they treat your sister-in-law and her kids with favoritism? I don’t think missing a birthday party is terrible, but I would look at how they treat your husband vs. His sister, then decide if its a toxic relationship or not

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Birthdays are to celebrate the kids, if those select few choose to not come, OH WELL it is not their birthday or about them and if they choose to not to be around don’t bend over and try to make them come around. :roll_eyes:

This site is all about complaining.

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You sound jealous over your in laws paying attention to their daughters family. Get over it. Your in laws can see your baby when they get back. They don’t have to be right there with you. Grow up. Jealousy is a sickness and not very becoming on you

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I’d be annoyed if they missed birthdays and all that too but you’re definitely overreacting quite a bit. It’s coming off as you think the world revolves around you. Especially if your kids love them I’m sure the kids are just happy to see them regardless of when it is. Also your husband should go speak to them by himself and have a heart to heart about how he’s feeling. Be open to working with them because doing everything on your time only is petty & only going to make the situation worse. If they still act the same way after he talks to them then there’s your answer on whether or not they respect him. That’s when I’d be considering the whole act right or you’re getting cut off part. Blood doesn’t mean you get to disrespect me.

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I know that feeling and I can tell you this… don’t force anything with anyone ,family ,friends ,whoever it may be to be in your kids lives ,even yours.
They are missing out ,not your kids. Kids don’t miss who they don’t know.
Unfortunately, there are close families that actually do this ,that don’t make attempts and there’s nothing we can do but continue loving our kids enough that they don’t notice who isn’t in their lives.
It’s sad but true.
Take care.

And no don’t have another birthday to please people who were not there .
Future invitations should just be that,invitations ,you come we happy,you don’t we still good

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Even tho ur due don’t mean u will have the baby I mean if it was planned then yeah they shouldn’t have to cancel it and I wouldn’t wanna loose my money either I think ur being ridiculous and selfish :woman_shrugging:

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My husbands parents didn’t come when our daughter was born and they didn’t come when she almost died 3 months later. But, neither did my husband. Took me years to try and get over that. They blamed me for not asking them to come while I was also put in the hospital for having anxiety after anxiety attack for 2 hours and passed out eventually in her room.

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If they knew and planned the trip anyway, then tell them to get lost.

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Hang on, his first birthday or the day he was born?

Either way this is ridiculously dramatic. Your son is your child not theirs, going away for a week over his birthday isn’t gunna break their bond, especially with him being this young.

Maybe your hormones are still out of whack because I can’t see any other way it would be reasonable to stop them seeing their grandkid over this.

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Stop Whining aren’t you an adult… They dont owe you shit

You can’t make people care. I’ve had to learn this.

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They sound like assholes and you should cut them off
Let them make the efforts from this point on if no efforts made literally in like 6 months
Tell your kids they died
They are young enough they’ll get over it

So they took a vacation and didn’t haunt their WHOLE life for the birth of a child? Babies come when they come and if the price was right, why not take it? :woman_shrugging: did you want them in the ROOM while you gave birth? I’d take that as a blessing because it gave you time to birth, and get home and begin bonding and recovering before company came.
Birthdays aren’t anything in my family. I have not once thrown a birthday party. I gave birth to them, it’s MY day to celebrate with MY child in our own way. And let’s be frank…. I don’t know why they didn’t show up to a planned event with family BUT it’s JUST the first birthday…. The kid won’t remember it, and with covid and now the variant going around I wouldn’t want a ton of people in my dang house anyways. It’s their loss!!! Not yours. A picture isn’t anything. As long as YOU got pics with YOUR kid, don’t worry about who don’t show, again…. It’s their loss!!! Live it up with YOUR family.

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Question is, are they the type of people ul want around ur son? Who gives a f if theyr spose to be family, just think if they treat uz like tht how would they treat ur son?

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You told them to cancel their vacation?? Usually you don’t get a full refund so I wouldn’t have cancelled either specially someone TELLING me to cancel. And usually they are planned ahead of time so did they go on vacation first or did you book his party first?

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Pray for them and go on with your life. Its not an issue unless you make it one. Dont let others steal your peace.

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You sound stupid :roll_eyes: get over it and stop expecting so much from other people if they wanna miss out then that’s on them but I wouldn’t withhold my kids from them for it.

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Families are useless. Your children will be fine though. Most important thing is that they have great parents.

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I would see my grandparents only 4 months out of the year. They went back and forth from portugal to canada. Maybe if they would skype.

My youngest two girls lost their Granny 2 weeks ago & it’s heartbreaking …. Life is too short for gods sake !!

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Grow up. It isn’t about you anymore.
Do you really want your kids to someday resent you for keeping them away from their grandparents…for petty reasons?!!

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I would say it honestly depends on they are with the kids. If they’re great, you’re going to have to suck it up and let it be. If they are toxic to the children, cut them off.

Sorry everyone is so excited about this. I’m a grandma and I wouldn’t miss out on any of my grandkids events. My mom just the opposite. Don’t lose any sleep. Some grandparents care and some don’t. Enjoy your babies they only little once.

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A one-year old will not remember anything about his/her birthday party and doesn’t even know what a birthday is. Are the grandparents supportive in other ways? What are their love languages? Do they deliberately miss all events or just these two that didn’t work out?

Have you and hubs talked to them? They raised their kids, they can enjoy their golden years however they want without your permission. Chillax, enjoy your child. Some people don’t enjoy kids until they can talk and interact with them more.

If the grandparents behavior really upsets your little one over time, spend less time with them and more time with other people who enjoy him more. Kids don’t care who’s blood or not. Surround children with good people whoever they are and they will be loved and happy.

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I know exactly how you feel my sil live over 100 miles away and came up this week my I laws took her and her kids to the zoo and didn’t even invite us or anything my hubby gets all the shit of his parents and she is the angel child xx

Wait, you told them they had to cancel or rearrange their trip?
That’s pretty messed up. You need to grow up and realise people’s lives don’t revolve around you and your kids.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I even try with my in-laws anymore?

Just love your kids spend time with them make memories and don’t worry about your in-laws if they miss out on their grand kids it’s on them. Just enjoy your family

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Don’t borrow trouble. It’s not as if the children’s father was absent from the births and parties. You cannot expect anyone to plan their lives around that of your family’s. Some families are really close and some aren’t :woman_shrugging:t2: Drama just ensures that they won’t be around and I understand that you feel hurt but let it go and live your own life. If/when they come around just enjoy it and let it be what it’s going to be.

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Let it go. Life goes on for everyone. Ask yourself if this is going to make huge quality of life issue for your child in ten years. Hint: it won’t unless you make it a big deal and make more of this than it is. We all have lives to live. Sometimes the timing doesn’t make it convenient or do-able for everyone. Your children are important, but not the center of everyone’s universe. Learn to pick your battles. If you step back and look at the long term ask yourself if this is the hill you want to die on.

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My husband finally had enough and cut ties with his mom almost 2 years ago. They haven’t spoken since then. It was the best decision for him and our family! She was very toxic and all she did was talk shit about us and our kids (her grandkids). I left her on my friends list on FB so she can still see pictures of my kids. But my kids don’t ever ask about her bc they don’t really know her. So I wouldn’t even worry about it. If his family doesn’t wanna be apart of your lives then that’s their loss not yours.

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Stop. All you can do is let them know about any bday plans. Don’t bad mouth them in front of your children, and don’t complain about them to your husband. You never said if they acknowledged them with a card or a call. You are wasting too much time and energy on this. Enjoy your family. They grow up soon enough. Their memories should be happy ones, not seeing you upset because they didn’t show up. Move forward and provide your children with memories they can share with their children someday.

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Hm. My fiances mom didn’t come to my daughter’s 1st or 2nd birthday. And she wasn’t there for the birth of either of them or that week, for the matter of fact, and I have no issue with her? Do u want her to just revolve her life around ur kids? They are still ur kids grandparents. Are they harming ur kids? If not then let them be in their lives.

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Kids don’t care, they’re just happy to see family members when they see them. I only saw my grandparents (father’s parents) a few times a year growing up (due to distance) but I was close to them and loved them dearly. Family is not necessarily about how much time you spend together but the connection you feel through bloodline. Remember the decisions you made now won’t necessarily show the effects until later in their lives so never make decisions from being angry or upset with what’s happening in the moment. The kids will decide for themselves when they’re older on who they want in their lives.

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Hubby and I have raised 5 kids over many years of working and running like chooks… we are now getting ready retire snd hit the road in our van… I’m so sorry if this but f*^ks you but I’m not considering my kids or my grandkids in my plans🤷‍♀️I love them all dearly but this is our time. We’ve paid our due and done our time so too dam bad …
Lucky our kids really understand.:purple_heart:

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Live your life and don’t worry about pleasing everyone else. The less they’re around the less the kids will get attached. Can’t make ppl do things they don’t want to. I know ur shoes and when my own grandmother does everything for my cousins but not my brother, I or our kids yes it bothers us but ya no what she’s missing out :woman_shrugging:t3: Dont go out of ur way to make plans around them as they aren’t you. If they make it cool if not it’s no shock. When/if they show up play nice but live ur life and keep going. Yours kids will will see as My brother and I have.

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If they don’t want to be there that is their loss. I wouldn’t even waist time having a conversation about it with them. Don’t invite them to anything from now on and see if they reach out and want to see the kids at all, and only communicate when they reach out and it is convenient for you. People make time for what is important to them. They have made their hearts clear. You cant force them to want to be around your husband or your kids. It’s hurtful yes. But letting them go will relieve you of so much stress

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Need to get close to the sister in law invite them over for play dates. Children love their cousin’s let your children get to know them. Don’t worry about in laws

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Sorry but I’m glad I have a mother inlaw that treats me like her own as I never really had a relationship with my own mother

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Ok, the way I see your situation is that they didn’t feel or treat your child’s birthday as seriously as you.
You can’t control that.
They did all of this stuff with their own kids and even though I agree they should be more excited about their grandkids bdays, they just aren’t.
I’d be happy that my in laws didn’t call on my hubby as much as his sister. Mostly bc when it’s the son inlaws are calling on more it usually causes trouble in marriage bc no one wants to be the one to set those boundaries.
Plus as adults the relationship changes between adult children and their parents. Sometimes one is a closer friend than the other. That’s perfectly okay. And very normal
You have options…
For one you can confront them, but you probably already know how they feel about what’s upsetting you.
For two you can cut ties and let your husband break a connection that when they die and he’s in pain he may resent you for allowing him to or bc he feels you pushed him to that…
Or…
You can throw the big celebrations and let your children know them for exactly who they are and don’t sway their involvement either way. Your kids later on can invite them and then the in laws will be the ones to set the foundation for their relationship with your kids. Don’t make excuses or talk negative or anything. Just tell them you don’t know if they are coming and tell the kids it’s okay bc they’re going to have fun either way.
If it was me I’d let them know about things being planned but let them know that you won’t be making extra special arrangements bc they may have a change of plans.
I wouldn’t make it up to bea big thing. Me personally I’d play them down in subtle ways every chance I got. Passive aggressive is sometimes the right dose of medicine to those who need it most.
Let them know when passing on plan details that it’s happening here on so and so date and time. “We have made great plans to really show so and so how blessed we are to have him or her in our lives. If you want to come and show your appreciation for them I bet they’d be so happy to see you there.”
And then if they don’t show up then you already set the tone for them looking shitty if they don’t come but the little ones will be none the wiser bc all they know is it’s a celebration of them being in your life. And when it comes down to it… You and your hubby are enough just by yourselves.

Why should they not vacation just because you are due to give birth? If they aren’t close, why would they tell your husband that they were going to be out of town? You “told” them to reschedule? Really? Let your children see their family, give them the chance to make memories that they will remember. Encourage the relationship and put in a little effort. You may be surprised at how rewarding it will be. You have to communicate to grow any relationship and any relationship takes work. Your children deserve to know and bond with their family. If it doesn’t work and you’ve actually tried, then at least you’ve done your best. One day, it will be too late.

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Don’t worry about it to much but don’t cut them out if they only missed 1 birthday party

Relationships are a two way street. If both parties aren’t involved and invested, it’s time to let the relationship go, no matter if it’s family or not.

They probably do love their son but I bet they can’t stand dealing with you :sweat:

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I hate to say this but you can’t change people. I personally would accept them for who they are and live my life how I want. They might come around eventually. Most of us has some of these problems but you have to be the bigger person. Let your children love them and just explain. Don’t be hurt most grandparents want to be there for the kids. I’ve seen them both ways. I’m sure of this you get more with honey than with sour grapes. Ask yourself What would Jesus do?? You can tell them it hurts you but your husband is a man and should do the explaining to his own parents. Just be happy!!

I bet you I got you beat. My mother in law had my husband and her mother raised my husband til he was 9 when she passed away he had NO CLUE his mother was his mom til he was 9. NiNE!! Took him for 2 years than threw him in foster care an chose her man an the 2 kids she had with him. After she had him run drugs for her in a backpack. Left him unattended and he was raped. Her man beat my husband daily. Came back in his life when he was 19 an lived off him on an off until I came in the picture. She started a fight at our wedding. I had a emergency c-section with our daughter dying in OR she came an asked for money while baby an I in surgery. Our son was born she started a fight an nurse told her don’t start that sh** she just has massive surgery you NEED to leave. We left where we were an moved across country. She came to visit I left our daughter for 15 min came back my daughter RAN to us screaming her lungs out crying grandma hurt her. While daughter was trying to tell me she started a fight with me so I couldn’t get a answer from my kid. Well I found out an went to confront her an throw her out an she came to my husband saying she had a year to live which screwed my husband’s head up. Found out it was a lie.she just was trying to not get kicked out until her.plane left. A yr went by I let her visit was suppose to be a week it turned into a month of her pulling us into drama into a huge mess my son ran up to her an hit her saying grandma your a bad guy. We looked at him like what happened baby? Since the last visit we don’t talk to her an the ONLY time she has ever picked up text or call is to ask for money. She’s angry saying my husband has money yes yes he does but its from him working 60 hrs a week as a plumber a career I helped him see he could build a great life for himself. I supported him to have a positive life not running the streets dealing being shady hurting people.she makes him feel he owes her something that she is still his mom. NO you have to be a mom an call an even just ask hey how are you not just hey I need a couple duckies? $ I took him to Niagra Falls for his bday an our sons there a couple days difference. She treated him like shit like he owes her an she asked to come up with the brother. No none of you have anything to do with my husband your not going to enjoy the fruits of HIS labor an ignore him. I asked MY husband pay attention please. Pay attention to how many times she calls and texts in next 60 days about you and the kids. An how many about money. In 60 days ZERO calls AND texts about him or kids. And in 30 days she not only text an called my phone text an called messenger an blew my PayPal up with requests my email.about money an than nothing for 30 days an the same. Than got abusive demanding to let her talk to her grandson for his birthday (wrong grandson wrong day). My husband said all he needs is the kids and I. His kids previous are 20 ,19 ,18. And mine are 23,13, an we have 2 together 6&7. All have come in an tried to break us up an have come in an attacked my kids physically out of jealousy. God brought my husband and I together for a reason and I am so beyond grateful he did. My husband has a heart of gold an beautiful inside and out. He is my protector an I his. Have there been times I wanted to leave him? YES. In the beginning when mommy dearest wouldn’t let her claws out of him. She was SO jealous my husband calls our church mom. MoM. Well thats because she is the closest thing to one he has and gives him the love he has always needed. And doesn’t want a thing from him but for him to take care of his wife and children. Mama be your husband’s backbone and create the family together that you both have so desperately have wanted an deserved.

I am a grandma and if me and my husband want to go on vacation then we are going on vacation. My kids are understanding. But to cut them off just because they went on vacation instead of coming to a birthday party that’s a little much now what my daughter did was when me and my husband came back from vacation she did another little party with us. You’re only hurting your kids by keeping the grandparents away

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I’m sorry people think you’re being dramatic. I can tell this isn’t the only instance that’s made you feel this way and your feelings are valid.
I get where you’re coming from because my sons grandparents wouldn’t ever miss a birthday and it would be painful if they did. Why would they want to?
So I totally see why you’re upset. I would personally give up trying and see if that initiates them trying more, if not… you have your answers.

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it’s not your position to be deciding if them taking a vacation is appropriate or not. they are allowed to live their lives. as long as they are appropriate with the kids when they are around, that’s all that matters. maybe they can feel that you don’t like them which makes them not want to hangout more often with your husband.

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Becareful how you go about this. My mil when kidscwere young bought their love. I kept my mouth shut for 16 yrs. And my children learned on their own what kind of person she was. I didn’t keep her from them so therefore have no blame if they want her around or not. Be sure you don’t end up the bad one. All you can do is invite its up to them then. Your kids will soon understand who really does support them in their lives on there own just takes time. It’s ok they have learned that not everyone shows lovevor is able to show love. It’s a part of life my mother has been an amazing role model for them :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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