Should I fight my ex about child support?

My daughter’s father was ordered to pay child support in 2018. A month after the current amount was set, he quit the best job he’s had. In the past two years, he has jumped from job to job, either quitting or getting fired. He’s still behind in what he already owes and has not been playing regularly at all as it is. Our daughter goes over there three days a week. He is still currently unemployed because he’s staying home with his new wife’s four children (none are biologically his) while she works. I got a letter in the mail stating that they want to decrease his amount by more than $200. Should I try to fight this, or is it just a lost cause at this point?


Depending on where you live he could go to jail, lose his drivers license or many other things, fight him take him to court for his back support, see if any of the paces he has worked are willing to give a letter stating how long he was there and why he left, he will find the judge not very happy. Push don’t let him win

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I fight my ex about child support?

I would fight due to the fact it seems he is doing this on purpose

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Fight it but he will have to pay back pay

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If they file taxes together you should get back pack every year out of that.

I would leave it be. He sees his daughter which is more then a lot of us get.


You don’t have to agree to the decrease. Whatever he owes will continue to grow.


Just let it be. Karma will come around and do her job. If you have evidence or a way to prove for the decrease not to happen then do that if not just let it be. He’s Already not paying so it still won’t hurt. However just don’t remove the child support order. Let it accumulate.

He has her 3 days a week. Leave him alone :woman_shrugging:t2:


Fight it . My oldest dad is 20,000 behind and I never drop it or let it go . It’s for your daughter.


Fight it!! Just because he doesn’t want to work doesn’t mean he cant!


I left it be after 3 years paying my ex decided he was done. Violated him they slapped him on wrist and he paid again few months then stopped again. Since he wasn’t concerned with our child I let it go.

:point_up_2:t2: facts he has her almost half the week leave that man alone.


Fight it! Also depending how far behind they are he could face jail time atleast here in CT

Fight it. And then enroll with FMEP


Don’t fight it unless he goes MIA and doesn’t see your daughter


Woman like you make all woman look bad :woman_facepalming: she stays with me
Him half the week and you still getting $200 woman be great full

Fight!!! He’s financially responsible for his child. He’s playing the system so he won’t have to pay by working cheap skate jobs when he has 1.


Leave it alone. He sees her, he’s present in her life and that’s more than most kids get now days


So wait he keeps his kid 3 days out the week? Like willingly or order to do so? Cause if he has them 3 days out of.the 7 days then you only have said.children one more day than him.

Fight it… And keep fighting it!!


He almost has her half the week. I would say don’t fight it.


Honestly if you fight it and he’s unemployed, in NH they’d probably drop it to $50 a month, which is the lowest.

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No matter the amount he’s still going to always owe you child support

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From my experience with child support it’s a lost cause. My ex hasn’t paid child support in 10 years they won’t do anything about it he doesn’t have a job how can we help you ma’am they don’t care

$210,000 behind Yeah it’s not a typo. My kid is 26 now🙄
I fought. He still has never been to jail


Don’t waste your energy fighting you’ve got enough on your plate being a single mom trying to do everything by yourself

I would much rather my 2 oldest daughter dad see then more than get his occasional child support payment they go months without seeing him. I would let this one go


If your daughter is with her dad damn near 50% of the time, then why would u fight it? It should be lowered, and you should be thankful your daughter has a father that spends time with her :woman_shrugging:


I wouldn’t fight the decrease but I would fight for something. He needs to pay.

So he has her pretty much the same amount of time you do but you expect him to pay child support? As long as he is providing everything his child needs while at his house, no need to take that mans money. You provide for your house and he can provide for his. Fighting it will just make you look bitter :woozy_face:

There’s really no point in fighting it. If he has no income they will drop it down anyways and I’m kind of surprised he hasn’t asked for a decrease since he makes nothing but if he is seeing her on a regular and taking care of her 3 days a week I’d leave it be


I’d taken him to the cleaners if at all possible…don’t back down momma! U got this!

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If you need the money.Go to court and tell the judge the truth and it will be fine.just my oppion.

New wife can pay it for him then.

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Fight fight fight!!!

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I agree with alot of people he does at least see her but he does seem likes hes savatoging things.i don’t think that’s right.would definetly fight it.ifvthere is something goin on he should talk to u bout it

My dad is over 80,000$ behind. He never payed my mom any money ever. It’s not even worth it honestly.

Fight it. He’s chosen to not work & gets fired from jobs. There are tons of jobs to had right now.

It won’t be a fight, he will just show what he is currently making and they will lower due to his income. However you can still say you want the back child support he owes…

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If she goes with her Daddy then that’s enough like if u really fight for child support YOU ARE A LOSER!!! Take that man off that shit he sees your daughter what more do u want sounds to me like u are MONEY HUNGRY!!!

Do YOU get the luxury to decide to buy your daughter’s food, pay for the roof over her head, buy her clothes, etc. I bet you don’t. AND NEVER WOULD!!! So why should HE get to decide? You did not get pregnant alone.


Don’t fight she does get to see him some would rather see their father than have the money

Fight it! And him hob hopping was him deliberately avoiding child support! Depending on his rears he can go to jail…ik here he wont get out unless theyre paid or time served. He may get her but a court order is a court order!

She’s with him 3 days out of a 7 days week …don’t fight it he’s actively in her life there relationship shouldn’t be about money . If she’s with him he should take care of her then. When she’s with you you take care of her. Maybe do week here and week there if y’all live close enough . End child support let him pay the bills and her needs for her to be there for the week and you pay your own bills and her needs when she’s with you.

Y’all are so petty .


I wouldn’t waste your energy tbh … my ex owes years and years of maintenance now and is ordered to pay £3 odd a week and we don’t even get that :rofl::rofl:

If he’s a regular part of her life and not just a bi weekend dad then you should probably leave it alone. Does he help with school clothes and shoes or formula or diapers or any thing like that?

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My sons father owes almost 9 grand and he’s got papers for contempt hearing after contempt hearing he doesn’t show he’s got several warrants and nothing they Honestly don’t care if you ask me he hasn’t willingly paid in over two years he went for a decrease and they actually increased it and 2 weeks later quit his job :roll_eyes: but they never changed the order because he is not disabled or unable to work so it just keeps adding up

Fuck yes fight it. Loser Dads don’t deserve a free pass! If she is married to him then SHE will have to start paying his CS bill. Give them all her info and let them know she works and they are married. :wink::ok_hand:t3:

She needs a good father. If hes a good father why bother. You already know he not gonna come thru with the money.

Sounds like he has the child almost half the time. Does he support the kid when he has it? And also the pointing out the other “aren’t his” makes you sound like you’re being petty about it.

Sounds like he has her half of the time. So at that point they usually don’t pay

Fight it. The kids you have together come first. If he had been current until now it might be a different story but it doesnt sound like he has put a lot of effort into it.

He has her for almost half of the week so what’s the issue???


He has her 3 days a week honestly if you go in and fight it you could lose support all together since it’s basically split half and half custody.


Fight it…& if he is " Legally Married " she can pick up his Slack…yes His wife can be responsible for his CS… Now be prepared for the Extra Shyt…that will come with this… So Either keep supporting by yaself…or Get they help…ijs


My ex is $30, 000.00 behind, the judge put a judgement on him meaning that still has to pay me even know our child is 21, I never fought it the state done it all ! He wont keep a job what so ever,! He owes me that till its paid off which will be never !

My child’s father hasn’t paid child support since 2018 and I don’t give a shit about money :100: money can’t buy my child’s love if I Rang my child’s father and told my son needs something he’d give me the money but I don’t bother about maintenance :100:

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If she’s with him 3 days a week I wouldn’t fight it. At least she is lucky enough to see her dad


This fires me up.
Yalls (not just YOURS!!) daughter deserves it!!!

Fight it. Men like this need to be held accountable. I’m currently fighting it with my sons father. If more women held these men accountable then maybe they wouldn’t feel so comfortable dodging their responsibilities. If you have the child at least 50% of the time then he needs to pay his obligations.

They will take into account the support of the kids he living with even tho they aren’t his. And the fact he has him 3 days a week. Will reduce it loads

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I wouldn’t fight it. Because he does get her 3 x out the week. If that was brought up in court then the decrease just might happen anyways. Accept it & then turn around & order him an arrest for back pay since they being petty wanting to take from your home. That wife hard earned money going bail him out & go straight into your pockets.

I do not know your story…I have 3 kids by their father…tried for support, it got approved I could not do it…I helped make these kids they are my responsibility too…I want to have them and not him then I need to prove on my own I can care for them they are better with me. But when my youngest got to sick for me to care for he did take him does not ask for a dime…I told him ALL I ask is do NOT favor treat them equal and when he is here or not of course he will be equal like he is with me…and now we EQUALLY care for our kids, no legal custody, no child support, just to parents who grew up and REALIZED it was not about us, Who we are with, What we are going through it is ABOUT THE KIDS WHO DID NOT ASK TO BE BORN!! 🤷

Depends on the state. Some states won’t count the spouses income. At this point let him be Dad. Hopefully he files a joint tax return and they take their refund to pay his back child support!


Why waste your time n energy its his problem hes not paying it will bite him in the ass later he still gets to see him thats good I would just let it be money isint everything if he pays great if he don’t well he don’t depending on the state he will even loose his licence if he don’t pay…only my opnion

Just to let you know he will still owe whatever it was before he quite his job. And the nee amount will be set once u guys agree to whatever amount. So u can let the CS know and let them change it. If hes not paying anyways why fight it. You can also say he don’t pay anyways so i’d leave it at that and maybe even try to make its $100 less instead of of $200

To be honest is them losing their relationship worth the money? Most men get petty and take it out on the kid.

He has him almost 50% of the time and has no income? If you fight it you may not like the outcome

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Im sure your children haven’t decreased the amount of food they eat, clothes they wear, or decreased essential items they need…go get what is theirs!:muscle:


Hell yes you fight that shit. Let him rack up that bill til she turns 19. One way or another, he’s gonna pay you. Be firm!


Why can’t they work opposite shifts? My husband and I did that for years. Until the kids were old enough to stay home. If my husband had a job where we could do that now I’d still be working.

Guessing this is America? In Britain a man who doesn’t work doesn’t have to pay child support at all or very little at maybe 10 pounds per month lol :laughing:

Fight it!!! My ex owes me over 30,000 on child support. Never calls or sees his “son” hasn’t for about 6 yrs now. He quits every job he’s had and is a stay at home dad now lmaoooo

If he has her 3 days a week why not allow him the relieve of child support so he can make sure those days he has her she’s feed clothes ECT


Hes married so therefore it becomes his wife’s responsibility as well. Fight it. My daughters dad purposely doesnt work real jobs to pay me and has been with his gf for 10 years but wont marry her due to the fact that I will receive all their tax money for back child support. Dont ever stop fighting for what your child deserves!!!

It all depends on what state you are in, as to what you can or should do.

He takes her three days a week. It’s not like he never sees her. Fighting it just makes you seem like you want your hands in his pockets and that it’s not about your daughter.

Why is he paying child support if your daughter is there 3 days a week.? I’d be thrilled if my daughters dad saw her 3 days a month.


Fight it , you keep calling the Child Support Division every single time he doesn’t pay , keep calling til they know the sound of your voice. I fought tooth & nail only because the absent " father" was such a dick. Every time he didn’t pay on time, I complained


My Kids hardly see their dad, but he acts like father of the year when he sees them like once every month and buys them shoes or clothes :joy:
But I mean your daughters dad sees her but not support her ?

I trust you pay him on the 3 days a week that he has your child?


if he doesnt pay he can get is license taking away ,he just doing thisto avoid paying ,this is the samething my friend is going through in manitoba,she now refuses her daughter to see her dad.she seeking legal help

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Is the amount he is offering enough to help care for the child? I’ve been on both sides the mother getting nothing as well as the wife of the man whom gave so much money he couldn’t barely live himself. If he sees children and financially provides 3 days a week while in his care (which also incures bills) and still gives you some to help that seems fair… And if you belive he can provide better for them than you can he should have the majority of time instead of wanting him to pay you more. But him having 4 new ones Im sure he will gladly pay his part lol

Fight it. I went through dame thing. The child is also his responsibility.

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He has her 3 days outta the week. He’s pulling his weight. He cares for her and his bills himself when he has her, why can’t you do the same?


I’d fight it. You may not win, but I’d sure try. Speaking as a person who is now paying back support for my 30 yr old child, it’ll catch up to him, eventually.

Keep fighting. They’ll get him eventually.

He has her almost half the time he shouldn’t even be paying much


It’ll follow him forever whether he wants to work now or later. He’ll accrue and owe you arrearages regardless until your kids are off age. If he hits a big jackpot, it’ll go to you first on what he owes you. If he sues someone and wins, you’ll get that. If he has tax refunds coming in, it’ll be diverted to you. Hang in there. It’s not fair but you come up on top.

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Ya I would. I’m about to go after mine. He keeps doing the same thing. But when he doesn’t work he doesn’t take them. So I have to not only fully financially take care of them but I have to deal with him disappearing for months at a time

fight it… your child deserves it… if he can’t be consistent let the court handle it…

Some states don’t really do much for back child support, and I would ask myself a cpl questions! 1. Do u need the money to raise your daughter sufficiently. 2. Is him not paying eat away at you emotionally? 3. When asking him for something for your daughter financially does he step up to the plate and help? 4. Does he spend quality time with your daughter and are the close or is he just taking her every week so he can say he has her 3 times a week? My x never paid a dime and to this day he’s still a loser, my LH raised my kids financially and emotionally and loved them dearly so for me I just worked my hardest to support my kids and never said a bad word about him in front of them and as adults they saw him for what he’s worth and none of them have a relationship with him!

U paying him for the 3 days the kid is with him? If the answer is no you should drop the child support all together. Why should he help provide essentials at your home but you don’t do the same :woman_shrugging:


You two enjoyed those nights without our consents.
If both of you can’t handle it anymore send the baby to me and I’ll adopt it w/o regret.
Truly yours X

You can fight it but in my state they go by income and then adjust for being able to pay rent/mortgage etc and its a percentage of each parents pay so fighting it may or may not help. If he submitted info about getting less money then they may have estimated based on that. My ex is saying he cant work at all so my order is actually frozen and there is no amount added monthly or anything right now. He is supposedly doing social security and waiting to see if he gets that and then my kids would get benefits from there or he would need to pay from there (depending on which he qualifies for). Until then we have hearing every few months for them to check in with him.

If they have the kid three days a week I don’t see why you need the highest amount possible. It’s none of your business what he and his wife have worked out.

if she goes 3 days a week then hes pulling his weight and shouldnt be payin much at all . does he provide for her when she is there with him? if so no u shouldnt fight it . its not up to him to pay ur bills just because u had a kid with him .