Should I fight my ex about child support?

I would also file with your attorney , depending on the state they will suspend his license and possibly jail!!!

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Eew what’s wrong with you sad ass women :expressionless:

Does he help you out with anything else? Like school supplies, clothing, bills, or food or anything? Where I live they suspend the father’s drivers license and they get liens placed on cars and houses, taxes can be taken and back pay tacked on as well as jail time. He cannot get rid of the child support bill no matter what unless he pays off what he owes. I say continue to let him see his child and agree to the decrease while he’s not working. He sounds like he at least has the child half the week. New wife isn’t responsible for paying his child support bill and that’s typically the law.

You can try to fight it. But chances are he was the one to request it to be lowered and it was granted if that was the case you’re not going to have much luck you would have to wait until he’s working again to do so.

I dunno if it’s every state. But I know if they are legally married they’ll make the wife pay it since she’s working.


If he isn’t paying the child support why is he seeing the child?


From my understanding they can only take a certain % of his income. Wait until he starts working again and they’ll re-raise it. Especially if he’s taking her 3 days a week every week and you’re making more then him now, depending on your judge they could flip the script and make you pay him.


Depends on which state you’re in and how they calculate the child support.

The mother has several options first make sure you are filing income taxes and receiving the EIC for the child since he is not working this shouldn’t be a problem also if she is having a good relationship co parenting the child then instead of fighting things out in court maybe see a moderator that can maybe help reach some kind of solution

Y’all swear child support pays bills🤣 bunch of “pick me” mfs in these comments.

Fight it… You didn’t make her by yourself


How much is it a month! If he has her 3 days a week? Idk I’ve always felt like if you can take care of them on your own and I can take care on my own…then we split all the rest of the costs…like school stuff medical sports or extra things. If you split time why should he pay you a big amount? If they refuse to help or it’s a toxic situation then ya I’d ask for the amount monthly but if you can communicate and he’s taking her…I think you should give him a break!

Yes call child support recovery because he is contempt of court


My question is would it make sense for your daughter’s father to provide for her when he cannot provide for himself. Would you rather see him in a worse position then he is currently in. I am not saying that he should not support her. I am saying that this effects her too.


Why are you all sounding soo greedy?? He is still helping out!!! I would love for my son to have that!! My ex hasn’t worked in years, seen or payed child support in years!! Be happy he is still in the child’s life!!!

I would need more information… how much is he currently suppose to pay. Who pays for things like medical, school supplies, etc. if the child is spending 3 days a week with dad and 4 with mom that seems to be 50/50 and he is doing what he is suppose to by being involved and being a father. And in my opinion should not pay a dime unless it goes towards medical costs. I would hold him accountable for back pay thou.

I’ve been through this, my daughter hasn’t seen her ‘dad’ in over 10 years. I was fighting but he kept quitting jobs. I realised that in the end its not worth the fight she has everything she needs from me and hasn’t ever needed his money. If his money means that much to him let him keep it.

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Uhmmm if he takes the child 3 days a week he shouldn’t be paying more than like 100$ lmao especially for one kid? You know he’s clearly struggling or lazy so why bother it’s not like you’re going to get the money either way.

He’s a loser! To quit a job to get out of paying speaks volumes of his character! Forget the payments not worth it! It all comes out in the wash in the end! I am speaking from my own loser experience!

Oh yeah I would fight that.

Hes unemployed let it be when he gets a job they will garnish his checks

He has her half the time why should he have to pay more? He sees her and is in her life… I mean either way you aren’t getting any if he’s not working and if they send him to jail you still aren’t getting anything

Thats a lost damn cause… he will jump jobs constantly to avoid it. Atleast he has her some every week, be thankful for that. Just get his tax money if he ever files and move on… doubt what you get will do much anyway, and at this point aren’t you used to not having it?
They don’t go after the dead beats, only the fathers that pay regularly and miss a few…


If it were my kid, she would quit going until he could come up with some $ to see her! As someone else has already stated “you didn’t make her by yourself”


I wouldn’t fight it. It’s not worth it. I absolutely hate the fact that I have an open child support case. If they did an admin review and that’s how you saw the $200 drop, by all means you can object to it, but without an attorney it might not even be worth it. Spending more money on an attorney to potentially not even get what you want and then not even get cs cause he doesn’t work. But if he collects unemployment your office should be collecting that from him.

Fight it. You contribute All of the financial support…when he should he responsible for half. Wether of not she spends 3 days with him or not is irrelevant to the financial portion. Even the Court will tell you that visitation and financial support are 2 different things. Fight it…let it accumulate and when he finally gets a job, a tax return, wins the lottery, whatever…he’ll be responsible for any current and arrears.

I agree, if she’s going the 3 days then I wouldn’t fight it at all.


Leave it be. He’s still going to owe CS and it will continue to accrue, but he also has your child nearly half of the time.


If you fight it you are paying money to try and get money that you are already not receiving. You have a man that is seeing his daughter and wants to be in her life. Not all kids are as lucky. It’s not ideal but honestly this is a lost cause at this point

Tbh I would just ask to have it stipulated that he pay half of activies and school things if he doesn’t then keep receipts and go back to make that enforced

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Sounds like you should be paying him. Maybe not till his arrears are paid but that sounds like the way the courts will be seeing it. Go ahead and put in a new order. See what that gets you.

Your finances are your business. Nobody else can tell you how to handle your financial issues.

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It probably wouldn’t hurt to fight it. My ex told me he would rather go to jail than pay child support snd he did 3 times. The last time he went they let him out with a promise to pa but never did. I knew he would not pay and I never planned on it. It made him feel good to stiff us but we made it without him and that probably pushed him off worse than having to pay. He was hoping I would get desperate and take him back but God knows I could NEVER be that desperate.

Amy Mae Morrow and Jess Simmons it’s obvious he has done the job jump on purpose and is good enough to take care of kids from his new wife who is paying the bills…you both need to get a clue.

The court will lower it because he has no income. In the state of wa, he would only have to pay $25 a month.


At this point she’s your child it’s all on you unfortunately he’s clearly a deadbeat soo sorry.


For me Child support is based off of who has more physical custody per the court. I have my kids every other week but my ex is primary custodial parent with the courts saying he has 70% phycical custody and I have 30% so I get to pay child support even tho I have my kids week on week off. I say fight it, eventually they will pull his driver’s license for non payment and garnishment of his tax refunds he gets each year.

Take them to court since he is married she will have to pay…she has him at home so they don’t take his money.
Now that there married legally they will catch up with her… go to court girl

What does this have to do with nails ?


Definitely fight it!!! Take him for all he has! Why are “her” kids getting everything from him but he can’t support his own kid. Never back down! You got this!


Unfortunately dads like that are a lost cause I’ve been waiting 22 years for mine to pay and he’s $150,000 in debt due to back pay. I will never see this money because he to goes from job to job and quits as soon as the government garnishes his wages. I can count on both my hands how many payments I got in 22 years and none were of his own doing.

I would fight it because it’s not only your job to provide financially but since she is over there three times a week they will decrease it anyways

When you marry someone who has to pay child support you take on that debt. Be wise ladies

I fought my ex I’m court till I exhausted all avenues. He works cash jobs. Chased him for over 20 yrs. He owes over 100K. I’ll never see it unless he hits the lottery :roll_eyes::rofl::joy::rofl::joy:

Unfortunately they can only garnish his wages and if he isn’t working there is nothing they can do.

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My opinion only because I’m in the same exact predicament. Him quitting and getting fired is him avoiding child support payments, of course. I don’t allow my child to go over at all because if he can’t financially help, his family should come together and at least send $50 a week or something. But they don’t! They don’t even call to see if she’s alive! Anything will help us mother’s. But I would definitely fight the case because sooner or later whatever funds he’s going to get as far as income tax etc it’ll come directly to you. Eventually the child support order will turn into legal actions where they will see he’s not employed, advise him to attend the fatherhood program and if he fail to attend those classes they’ll take him into custody. I’m sure by him being behind bars will never justify anything financially but it’s sad we as mothers are limited when it comes to receiving child support.

I’d fight it. How dare he quit a job to stay home and raise some other chicks kids.

If she is already there 3 days a week maybe consider doing. 3/4 4/3 schedule to make it 50/50 and you take care of her when she is with you and he does the same when she’s with him.


Child support is to help take care of the child! To buy things they need. Just because the father visits doesn’t mean he should not help provide for the kids.
Now, if the father provides for the child. Buys her stuff she needs or helps u then I think you shouldn’t but if the father just jumps job to job so he doesn’t pay then u should fight it. Every parent should take care of kids

Absolutely fight it. He quit his job just so he wouldn’t have to pay and so they would decrease the amount given to you.

Whatever you choose to do don’t punish your child or forbid them to see their father. It’s never the child’s fault. Best of luck to u.

I would just let it be if he’s making an effort to see her than money shouldn’t be an issue but if he only wants to see your daughter when it benefits him than fight it

Depends who buys majority of food and clothes in my opinion. Paying child support is to support the child, so to help with the basics, food, clothing and shelter. Doesn’t have anything to do with how much time he spends with said child.

This is a tough situation, id go with your gut on this. Because I can see a guy quitting his job staying home just so he doesn’t have to pay. But you also don’t want the child to suffer while she is over there hating her dad cuz he can’t take her to.go get ice.cream because he’s so broke.

Wow all about money with you ladies! If he see her three days a week why should he have to pay? If she making more than him, why isnt she paying?

It took me 7 years to get child support for my ex and he’s been bouncing around job two job girl to girl finally he settled down and I’m getting my support on a regular but it was hell and I kept on it. But I agree with a lot of people on here I wouldn’t let him see her until he starts paying some money regularly… I don’t know what your visitation/custody order is but just like somebody said you didn’t make this kid by yourself and he’s going to quit a job to get out of child support what does that say about him? And him having a wife etc and him staying home isn’t your problem your child came first and the other kids aren’t even his so tell him to start Manning up and take responsibility or he won’t see her… My opinion

Fight it. He will have to pay for the rest of his life until he pays all of the arrears back. My daughter is 19 child support was supposed to stop at 18 which it did, but he still has 2 1/2 yrs to pay all the arrears he owed. They will eventually put him in work release or take his license. U did not make her by yourself u shouldn’t have to pay for her by yourself.

Im an advocate for great dads. But also ive seen crap dads that need to really step up.


Fight it all the way . Why should he get to pay less? Do you get to pay less? No you do not you have to carry his weight along with yours . Thats not fair so what if hes not working he needs to get a JOB .

So whatever it is take it cause when he draws SS they will take

Honestly just speaking maturely and not being pety just let it all go. He must be doing it hard clearly let them drop it.


Yes make him pay, he keeps jumping from job to job, they will garnish his taxes and he will end up in jail. Fight like hell

Yup fight it. My kids go to there dads a few days a week… but if I didn’t get child support legit the only thing he’d be “supporting” is the dinner they eat while there. I pay for everything including getting asked to send them in nice cloths so they can do pictures. Make sure they have this or that blah blah shit. Like snow suits and boots… ya know things he should also have at his place too

Your gonna spend more fighting then you get back in child support


Well I have 2 kids and my kids dad was ordered to pay back child support and he has only paid me 568dollars in 35 years

I have to say this since I’ve been there etc. It was messy but if he not working and his wife is she should put the child on her insurances as like her own and they shoukd pay for clothing at their own place. As no clothes goes back and forth. The judge can make him if he quits his job so he doesn’t pay support well the courts will look down and do a tally of back support…the back support needs paid and if the child is under both insurance should stay under both even if it’s under the other parents name…my husband carried both my kids from day 1 until they turned 26 my daughter is still under my husband…now if it’s also almost split visitation maybe current support be cut. Along as child is both places as in a joint custody not visitations that needs changed.everything done at his house he pays any party well if it’s at each house the parent of home pays.but she and he needs go to court and lower current support and get that back support paid for what ever way works…we had my ex put a AC unit in our house to clear off his back support.

  1. How is he as a father?
  2. Depending on how you answer #1 (and you don’t have to type it you can answer these in your head.) I would give him an ultimatum.
  3. Sign over your rights has her father making you have sole custody in exchange he doesn’t have to see her or pay you. This is what I did way before my daughter was born. Before anyone adds their 2 cents. This was a tough choice I had to make. But my daughter is now 17 super happy and does very well in school. I have kept it 100 with my daughter. I told her when she turns 18 if she wants to meet him I’ll find him and meet up with him first to get the vibe of how he is and if it’s cool then yeah we can meet up. If she decides to have a relationship with him that’s her choice. I never talked bad about him. I just told her this was the best decision for us. And I was right!

I would definitely fight it… Him and his new wife probably think they’re actually doing something by him not working and staying at home with her children only thing I say is she better be very careful cuz in the state of Texas they’ll dip into her money because she married him and he’s not taking care of his responsibility that’s technically now hers because they’re married

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Yes! If he’s on unemployment they’ll take it from there. My kids db quit his union job for the same reason but they finally caught up w him. You can file through the state and they’ll take care of it. That’s what happened with me. Kills me when guys just stop supporting their kids. Don’t let him slide.

If you think your situation is bad imagine the women with the 4 kids and then his big dumb grown ass. Girl let that child go see her dad and keep living he somebodies Whole HELL.

Good luck to you and your family.

Im going to go against the vast majority… leave it be. I,myself, didnt push because I didnt want my daughter having ill feelings towards me. He never paid a dime and I never stopped him from seeing her. She is now an adult and he has been absent MOST of her life. She KNOWS I had nothing to do with it and thats what mattered/matters to me.

If he’s not keeping a job, I feel like it’s a lost cause (for the moment)
If they’re dropping the amount is going to be more of a nuisance than a help, let it go for now.
He’ll have a lot of back pay once he’s back to working and that’s on him, not on you

No, no , no meh will get tired of seeing and staying with them as soon as he realizes how easy you gave up the money . You need to make sure he pays and All the back to . Take him to court if you need to . The state will let them do it. Those children need $ support from both parents and live . As soon as $ are taken so he feels free he will slowly leave the children out . DONOT give him an easy card . Even if it means a night in jail .
Sorry you did not make those babies alone

Give the man a break u said the kids are there 3 days a week that only leaves 4 days out the week u have them… I don’t know what to say about some of y’all. Except who df raised u. I hope u figure it out tho.

I honestly would care more about the relationship of the father/daughter than the money.

Every state has different laws. The ex should have checked with courts before quiting first and got his support lowered and insurance on to his wife insurance and still pay out of pocket 50/50 of un covered medical/dental bills you created the child you need to pay 50/50 until 18 but insurance until 26 my ex didn’t carry insurance on my kids. Only 25% of the time.

keep fighting. your daughter deserves it


I’m a father of 9 by 4 different women and never had court ordered child support because all my ex’s knows I’m a good dad and supported everyone of them all their lives, 7 of them is over 18 and I’m still helping them when they need it and pay their phone bills I’m saying this because of he’s buying the child what she needs like school clothes and stuff I wouldn’t fight the support but if he’s not and just getting her 3 days a week get your money… But do not stop the child from seeing him it’s her dad and she loves him.

Have his ass arrested for owing back child support

Fuck… I guess the stress of court ans arguing, then your kid hears all this … yea totally worth 20 bucks. SmH

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You can fight it. My husband pays child support, she wanted a higher amount but the judge ordered a lower amount because she chooses to be a stay at home mom, and her kids are all in high


If he has the child 3 days a week and takes care of her for them days why is he paying anything ??? You can’t Expect him to pay to take care of her almost half the week then pay you to take care of her the other half thats not how it works. Seems like y’all both have her half and half so like someone else said you take care of her when she is with you and he takes care of her when he has her.

You can’t do anything about it. They go off of how much money he makes

He sees her so I’d let it go. He should be responsible for things while she’s in his care and same for you while she’s in yours


Keep fighting Honey, my 3 kids are just about grown only one left at home. He now lives with his father and he still pays me. Tries to make it out like I was the bad guy when he is the one that tried to hide from me. Even his mother would say she hadn’t seen him. He is still 60,000 behind

You can fight it but he does have a right to have child support recalculate yearly based off his income. It will not change the amount of back child support owed; it only affects it going forward. With that said, if he does get child support lowered and turns around and gets a job you can request a review based on him getting a job and they will recalculate it.
Do not let him terminate parental rights! Don’t let him off the hook that easy. Unless you live in Hawaii once he owes enough back support they will take his driver’s license, he will loose all hunting and fishing privileges, and could end up in jail. My ex owes me $60k in back child support. I will never get it but he will also pay the price one way or another.

Lost cause…I raised 4 kids without child support…and worked up to three jobs…I worked jobs where my kids could be with me…farmers market and stuff…they are all wonderful kids all grown up…and they will never abandon me…ever…good luck honey…

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It’s a lost cause I fought the same thing for years… he bounced job to job. Refused to pay. They couldn’t keep up with him. But eventually they will threaten him with jail time if he doesn’t try.

I’ve done that just got done with court

If a mom decides she doesn’t want to take care of her kids they get charged with neglect so, why can’t the dad be charged with neglect for not paying?

Mine is 13 and her dad hardly pays but I get those taxes every year! But I have done it on my own being a waitress and bartender mine has everything she needs till a few years ago till I married my husband her stepdad now I am a stay at home wife and mom! Keep your head up sis there are men out there that do step up!!

Unfortunately your ex is a pos! Also Unfortunately you won’t get anywhere trying to fight him. It will be a waste of your time and money. He is purposely not working so he doesn’t have to pay. Hopefully the further behind he gets potentially he could lose his license and potentially serve some jail time but its a process.

fight it many people say don’t for the kids but i’m a kid from divorced parents and my mom didn’t and that ruined alot so i’d say fight it don’t let him fuck you over like this he has to be responsible for his kid

i’m still mad at my dad for that stuff and now i’m 19 i decided to never see him again but if he just payed there wouldn’t be so much shit now in our lives

What is the mother owed if he has her half the week??


Is it worth the fight and stress? Will this put animosity against your daughter just to get back at you? Is he a good father when she is with him?


Fight it. If they made a decision for him to be a stay at home card to care for her children then she needs to keep him current on his support payments. Don’t let him off easy.

Just see it as a lost cause screw it. Go out find you good job support. Yr kids you don’t need his money.

Fight it … he’s staying home w other kids but not taking care of his own not right at all… It took both of you to make that baby… it should take both of you to support him or her


You’ll probably never get anything anyways he sounds like the typical loser who doesn’t take care of his kid