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"I've been starting a new/old relationship w/ my ex before my husband. He's such a good guy, treats me w respect, a great personality, and I love spending time w him. Now…. my husband wants to try n work things out.. but he makes no effort always has excuses and when we were moving up north, he left me the day of the uhaul. I had to scramble to find Troy Cotter to help last second. He left me and constantly says I'd be better off w/o a pos. he makes no effort. I'm still the only one calling and trying. Now, this other guy I don't even have to ask things he just does. idk I just don't know what to do. Cus if I try again w my husband I lose the one I have now… what should I do yall???"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Life is too short to be fighting so hard to hold on to someone who does not show you or feel the same. Let go of the past and be happy in the moment. Sounds like there is someone who shows you love and respect."
"How about neither? It sounds like you need some time for yourself. To reflect and think and work through things on your own and what YOU actually want. Pray God would send you a sign. Or if you know deep down who you’d rather be with then make your decision and don’t second guess yourself"
"I think u have ur own answer in your question… husband out new ex in but remember why the new ex didnt work out."
"You need to ask yourself why they are exes!"
"They’re both ex’s for a reason, I’d leave both alone. Especially the husband. Maybe take some time to focus on yourself and get yourself to a happy place before starting a new relationship. Just because they want you back doesn’t mean they deserve you back. Think about why your relationship with each of them ended. Do you wanna repeat that?"
"I don’t know that I would necessarily jump right into another relationship, but your husband is never going to change if he hasn’t yet! Be single be friends with this other person, but don’t jump in both feet first! But dump your POS hubby"
"Leave your husband, but not sure you should jump straight in with an ex, there is a reason you split up"
"Sounds like you shouldn’t pick either and you should focus more on yourself. I’m a firm believer that exes are in the past for a reason. I’ve never broken up with someone for no reason. Sounds like your husband will never change from the bit you’ve shared and you feel like therapy would help then go for it. However, jumping from one relationship to the other can be very blinding to yourself and puts up blockers you won’t notice, as well as red flags."
"I think you stop thinking about another relationship right now and concentrate on working through any residual feelings and issues you have from soon-to-be ex-husband. Take some time and really figure out yourself and what you want in life."
"I’m pretty sure both are an X for a reason. Whatever happened to staying single and finding who you are first without being with someone? Don’t settle."
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